Tinnitus Is Ruining My Life and I'm Only 17... Help

[rubyroseware]

I've had tinnitus since 2014 after i went to a gig (don't tell me I should have worn ear plugs, I know that) and at first it didn't bother me too much. I got used to it.

Recently, it is all that I can think about it. I cry about it all day, I cannot sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, I have constant headaches. No one takes me seriously in my family or friends as they don't understand it. It is absolutely ruining my life. I feel like I'll never be able to be happy because everything is overshadowed with this horrific noise. I would give everything to hear silence again.

The idea that there is no cure makes me suicidal as I don't want to live a life that is filled with this noise.

Please help, I am at breaking point.

 

[glynis]

Hi Ruby,
Tinnitus is hard going at first as with it comes lots of unwanted emotions that are as hard to deal with as the sound.
Try nightol for sleep and listen to natural sounds at night to help sleep and see if that helps you.
We all understand how you are feeling so you have a Tinnitus Talk family who will help support you anytime.
Try stay calm and relax as anxiety can spike tinnitus...ask away anything you kneed to know..lots of love glynis

 

[Sgguy46]

Hi @rubyroseware where do u stay? Have u seen anyone about your condition? If u are really sucidal, go see a doctor immediately and get help. I am having it bad too today, headaches and all. I am just trying to ignore it. It no longer makes me sucidal or panic ... it just makes me feel crappy ...which i guess is somekind of improvement.

 

[rubyroseware]

glynis I ordered a speaker pillow today to try and help me sleep, I feel like wearing earbuds every night to listen to sounds is actually making it worse Thank you, I will try nightol

 

[rubyroseware]

Sgguy46 I'm from England, I have booked my first doctor's appointment for it tomorrow morning, I didn't see the point before as there is no cure but it is literally ruining my life. It never bothered me at all before, but now it's all I think about... I'm glad you are feeling a bit better about yours

 

[eric peterson]

@rubyroseware, @Sgguy46 is correct. you should go and see a doctor immediately, for two reasons. One, you need to find out and make sure that your Tinnitus is not anything more serious (incredibly unlikely, but you should go and see an ENT or even your GP and get a full checkup just to make sure), and secondly to talk about your mental health situation if you are not dealing well with T. Ask your mother or father to make an appt for you (or do it yourself) and go and see a doctor, ASAP.

 

[eric peterson]

@rubyroseware try just downloading a white noise app for your droid or i-phone and put the phone near your head/pillow at night and play some quiet rain noise or nature sounds or whatever. I use a single ear bud every night and play some quiet white noise and it helps me a great deal with falling asleep...

 

[Sgguy46]

@rubyroseware from what i gather in the UK the healthcare system provides TRT for free. Have u considered TRT? It is not free where i am from nor in the usa. Anyway @eric peterson is right. Go see a doctor and tell him or her that this is making you sucidal and depressed. It is no shame. Most people with severe tinnitus have gone thru this.

 

[rubyroseware]

Sgguy46 What is TRT? I have never heard of it before. When I go to the doctors tomorrow I will explain my feelings to him. Considering I have previously been diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues, I'm probably not coping well due to that

 

[rubyroseware]

eric peterson I have a rain app on my phone but it almost feels like my ears are trying to compete with the noise

 

[Sgguy46]

TRT Tinnitus retraining theraphy. I hear it is free in your health system. I maybe wrong. Try calling British Tinnitus Association hotline. They have counselors who will talk to u.

 

[linearb]

If the noise hasn't changed, why do you think you've started reacting to it differently? If you can figure that out you'll be well on your way...

 

[glynis]

Hi ruby,
I support people on the BTA forum and by phone too for nearly five years and run a support group with another lady.
Welcome phone me anytime....lots of love glynis

 

[eric peterson]

@rubyroseware your complaint is not uncommon amongst my friends w/ T. You begin to habituate quickly to other noise in the room, and it's only your T sound that you can't get used to, so after a very short while, that's all you hear over the other noise in the room. A little ambient noise is never going to mask my T (mine's loud enough to hear over the TV), but I like to think of adding a little noise like putting a single lamp into a into a pitch black room that only had a candle in it. Prior to the lamp, it would have been impossible to notice anything other than the candle, as it was the only light in the room and seems impossible not to pay attention to (your T in this example). Hopefully a little noise will be able to take your attention off the T just a little. This seems really hard at first (it was for me. I needed sleeping pills for 2.5 months, even with masking). But eventually I got used to hearing a mix of my T and some 'white noise' and I fall asleep and stay asleep great. Hopefully in a bit of time, this will be the same for you. Try and get in to see a doctor, and talk to your family about the problems that you're having. Having my girlfriend around was a great help to me. Even though she doesn't have T, having her around to take my mind off of things was a ton of help. Stick with it. You'll be fine. Try to keep as positive an attitude as you possibly can (this will help. Stay as neutral to your T as you can. You don't have to be happy about it. But have a neutral and accepting attitude toward your situation. this is one of the tenants of CBT, which is used to help T sufferers. this is very hard at first. But it gets easier with time). I still hear my T at least half the day (and mine is due to Eustachian tube dysfunction, so I get to hear my ears pop and crackle all day to boot ). but it really doesn't cause me any stress any more. You'll get there too. Just hang in there.

 

[Sgguy46]

@eric peterson how long have u had T…? U only hear it half a day? How did u achieve that?

 

[eric peterson]

@Sgguy46 I've had T since 2003, so really 12 years. But up until this past April (6 mo ago), it was very mild. I really never thought about it, and habituated quickly. I've always had problems with my sinuses/ears. Tons of wax, sinus infections, ears clogging, etc. One night in April I popped out of bed b/c my T was many times louder. Freaked me out, and it has yet to drop at all in sound. I spent weeks walking the streets of Manhattan at night b/c it was so loud that I couldn't go inside for long periods. Too painful. But then I got some Xanax (which I took from time to time for 2 months), some Ambien (which I took most nights for 2.5 months), and the best move of all was going to see Dr. Hubbard (from this site, who happens to practice here in Manhattan). He gave me the facts about T, told me about his recovery, and helped me with several methods to keep my mood up and a positive attitude in the face of this new problem. I look back at those first 3 months (April to July) as absolute hell. I thought about my T 100 percent of the time and it made me sad 100 percent of the time. The next three months (July-present) have gotten much better. My T causes me practically zero emotional reaction when I hear it (basically when I'm anywhere quiet and not keeping myself busy). I can't fathom ever not being able to hear it in a silent room (which Dr. Hubbard says he cannot, unless he listens for it), but frankly I couldn't have imagined feeling this good about my T 6 months ago, yet here I am. Everyone can do this. I'm certainly not special. I have a long way to go. I'd love to sleep (again) without masking someday. But for now I put a single ear bud in my right ear at night and play some soft ambient noise, and I'm out in 10 minutes or less. I'll take that over where I was. Let me know if there's anything that I can do to help, or if you just want to talk about your (or my) experience.

Take Care,

Eric

 

[Sgguy46]

@eric peterson i am also six months into this. If u asked me last week, i would have said i am mostly not reacting to the T. But somehow in the last three days, the T gotten sharper and higher pitched and my head is now in bad shape. I can sleep without masking though. It just takes three hours to fall asleep.

 

[eric peterson]

@Sgguy46 For me there were 'fits and starts' with my recovery. I certainly got better, got worse, got better. I wouldn't worry too much and try and stay with the big picture. You're doing pretty well 6 mo in. If you can sleep without masking great. But if a little masking helped you fall asleep faster, I'd do it. (I don't know if you used to have trouble falling asleep prior to T, so maybe 3 hrs isn't all that weird for you). I have always fallen asleep like a baby, so it was very hard for me to deal with sleepless nights. I wonder if I'm babying myself by continuing to mask at night, but it's really the only concession I make for my T, and I'm only 6 mo in. Otherwise, I do exactly zero masking, ever. And I don't turn on TVs or put on music anymore in quiet rooms, unless I'm there by myself and not being active (i.e. just reading, I might turn on a little soft music in the background). But even if I'm cleaning the house or cooking, etc, I can do without any extra noise. I'd do my best to just be psyched about your progress if I were you. Lots of people are really badly struggling 6 months in. You'll keep getting better. Believing that is a huge part of recovery.

 

[Steve Hubert]

For me at nighttime is to listen to white noise or other ambient sound on my phone next to my bed or get the Moses Lang CD and play that all night. An ear bud would probably annoy me. I do hear the sound pillows may work.

 

[suera]

I have the sound pillow, it does not work for me nor does listening to white noise on a computer or radio BUT white noise does work for me if i have in on ipod and use earbud, it has to be deep in my ear to work SO if external noises work for you without an earbud the sound pillow will probably work for you IF however you get no relief without an earbud I wouldn't waste the money on the pillow.

 

[Raphael7713]

If the noise hasn't changed, why do you think you've started reacting to it differently? If you can figure that out you'll be well on your way...

Exactly. Probably stress and anxiety of some kind.

 

[Musicforever]

You aren't alone I am 17 as well and just recently developed tinitus. I can honestly say it's probably one of the most devastating things that has happened to me in my life. I have panic attacks from it and it consumes a lot of my day. Honestly the best advice I can give you is to just try keeping busy and ignoring it. I've found the busier I am the more I forget about it and the easier it is to cope. When I sit in my room and worry it gets louder. Just know you aren't alone in this and there are people who will help and support you.