It is believed, in my culture, that the ringing in your ears means that your soul is crying. Crying for something in the past, or crying for something that may have yet to come. Who knows. I am not a spiritual person. But I do like to indulge myself in these thoughts from time to time.
I have once, found my self lying my head on the lap of my mother, while she brushed back my hair back, and whispered into my ear in our native tongue, "Little soul, please don't cry. Mother is here. Everything will be alright."
As silly as that sounds, I felt it as a beautiful mother-daughter bonding moment that I would not trade away.
...
My Tinnitus started last year, 2014, around late March, early April. Around the same time, I also had a swollen lymph node on my neck. I told my mother about those two issues, and she was more concerned about the temporary lymph node, instead of my possible lifelong Tinnitus.
I did not have Medi-Cal at the time, so I paid about $ 80 just to go to a (terrible) family clinic, and the doctor was literally looking up my Tinnitus condition on her phone in front of me (oh and she told me to wait out my lymph node). So my money just went down the drain.
When I finally was approved of Medi-Cal, I was already feeling a little depressed. I told my doctor about how I felt, and she dismissed me, insisting that I didn't need counseling, and advised me to just take Claritin because my Tinnitus may have just been caused by congestion.
I'm no doctor but I know for sure I have not been congested for a whole year. She disregarded my request to be seen by a specialist/audiologist/ENT (or whatever they're called), and rescheduled me to come back for an appointment for a non Tinnitus related purpose. On my second visit, I made it pretty damn clear I wasn't about to leave until the issue was addressed properly and that her Clariton trick did not work. So then she decided to prescribe me Amitryptiline, an anti depressant, to ease the Tinnitus. She finally ordered to have me referred to a specialist, but this was months ago and I've heard no word since.
I'm not sure how I feel about taking antidepressants, mainly because of the drowsiness. When I had an appendectomy a few years ago, the doctor prescribed me Norco, and after two days, I gave up taking Norco because I'd rather be awake and bear the pain.
Anyway, I promise you, I didn't mean for this post to sound like a Yelp review on my sucky doctors. The reason why I wanted you to know of my experience is because I felt that every one that I went to for help did not take me seriously, and it makes me feel even more alone. Sometimes the Tinnitus drives me nuts, and sometimes I can just forget about it. But one thing I know for sure is that I have a fear of losing any of my senses, especially hearing.
I am here to hopefully see that I am not alone in this.
I have once, found my self lying my head on the lap of my mother, while she brushed back my hair back, and whispered into my ear in our native tongue, "Little soul, please don't cry. Mother is here. Everything will be alright."
As silly as that sounds, I felt it as a beautiful mother-daughter bonding moment that I would not trade away.
...
My Tinnitus started last year, 2014, around late March, early April. Around the same time, I also had a swollen lymph node on my neck. I told my mother about those two issues, and she was more concerned about the temporary lymph node, instead of my possible lifelong Tinnitus.
I did not have Medi-Cal at the time, so I paid about $ 80 just to go to a (terrible) family clinic, and the doctor was literally looking up my Tinnitus condition on her phone in front of me (oh and she told me to wait out my lymph node). So my money just went down the drain.
When I finally was approved of Medi-Cal, I was already feeling a little depressed. I told my doctor about how I felt, and she dismissed me, insisting that I didn't need counseling, and advised me to just take Claritin because my Tinnitus may have just been caused by congestion.
I'm no doctor but I know for sure I have not been congested for a whole year. She disregarded my request to be seen by a specialist/audiologist/ENT (or whatever they're called), and rescheduled me to come back for an appointment for a non Tinnitus related purpose. On my second visit, I made it pretty damn clear I wasn't about to leave until the issue was addressed properly and that her Clariton trick did not work. So then she decided to prescribe me Amitryptiline, an anti depressant, to ease the Tinnitus. She finally ordered to have me referred to a specialist, but this was months ago and I've heard no word since.
I'm not sure how I feel about taking antidepressants, mainly because of the drowsiness. When I had an appendectomy a few years ago, the doctor prescribed me Norco, and after two days, I gave up taking Norco because I'd rather be awake and bear the pain.
Anyway, I promise you, I didn't mean for this post to sound like a Yelp review on my sucky doctors. The reason why I wanted you to know of my experience is because I felt that every one that I went to for help did not take me seriously, and it makes me feel even more alone. Sometimes the Tinnitus drives me nuts, and sometimes I can just forget about it. But one thing I know for sure is that I have a fear of losing any of my senses, especially hearing.
I am here to hopefully see that I am not alone in this.
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