Hello all fellow members hope everyone is well. I've been struggling with T and H for 2 years. I've had some horrible spikes, while dealing with it I wrote in my journal. Although writing doesn't cure my T and H, it however helped me endure it and express myself. I've decided to share pieces of my journal into a memoir about my struggles.(only posted on here). It includes everything even my experience on this site and how the support has been helpful over the past year. If you have the time to read it hope you like it. Again hope everyone is well. Also sorry for any misspelling or grammatical errors, remember its just pieces from my journal.
Living with a monster called Tinnitus:
By: Anonymous/Tinnitus Sufferer
My tinnitus is like a grenade, ready to blow up at every given moment. It does not let me rest, not even in my
sleep. My worst fear is that it would even haunt me in my dreams. Ever since my tinnitus decided to host
my brain, my dreams has been the only place for tranquility where there is no ringing. If that is taken away
from me I will lose my sanity. It feels like there's an electric field passing through my ear 24/7, completely
resistant to go away. It unmercifully shuts off your once known "Life", the only thing you can feel is a dark
wave, consisted of pain, agony, and torture. How do you live with this? That's what I'm still trying to figure
out. I am living in bitterness; everyday is a struggle with this condition.
My Life will never be the same as long as my tinnitus is intact. I only get about two to three hours sleep
average. I can't read in silence anymore, can't watch T.V. the same way without lowering the volume to such
a low point. Did I mention that hyperacusis joined the party? Hyperacusis is Tinnitus's accomplice in crime.
It's an increased sensitivity to everyday sounds. It make's loud sounds hurt, very uncomfortable. Imagine it is
already difficult living with tinnitus but when hyperacusis tags along its doomed to create catastrophe.
In fact the extent that we tinnitus sufferers are willing to go for relief is a bit extreme. For instance on the
Tinnitus Talk Forum I visit to reach out to other sufferers and keep up to date with research news and
treatments; was where I read some of these terrifying experiences. The following is an excerpt from a
member on this forum: "undergoing treatment "they did a caloric test (they put water cold and hot in both
of your ears to see if there is an issue or an imbalance), it was the most horrifying thing I ever experienced...
you have to wear goggles so everything is completely dark and the water in the ears made me feel like I was
falling in the darkness of outer space". Here's another: "You have to sit on a chair and they spin you and you
puke even it retrains the brain, it's the same tactic ballet dancers do so they won't get dizzy when spinning
over and over and over….." "The worst symptom of vertigo is the brain creating this panic anxiety attacks
repeatedly because your brain doesn't recognize all that spinning, so it gets into this run or fight mode."
1
From those horrible experiences, what was shocking to me the most was that the person was
able to embrace their endurance with tinnitus; "I am leaving it all behind now, I have to say I
became stronger as a person, more resilient! The tinnitus is like a scar left from the war to
me."That statement is very encouraging and also very unlikely at the same time. Yes this
condition can make you stronger but you will have many worse than good days. It's a battle
between ups and downs, and we are all soldiers in this war. This experience has made me
realize that with every challenge life's throws at us there's a great story that underlies it.
On the tinnitus forum we all relate to each other, our condition, symptoms, and all the troubles.
We don't just get tinnitus; in some cases we get hyperacusis, anxiety, insomnia, and several
other conditions. Tinnitus comes with this excess baggage. It's on the forum where we get to
express how we handle all this, and tell each other's ways to cope with it better. It's great to
reach how to people who have this condition and understands it makes us feel a little less
alone.
During times like this with setbacks and no hope, a member on the forum would pray. For
example: "Father, in the name of Jesus please help me and my friends recover from this
affliction called tinnitus. I pray that we all have a speedy recovery, and all come back to give
you thanks."
Tinnitus is becoming a growing problem for millions of people around the world. If you don't
believe this look it up and see for yourself, the issue here is not many people are aware of this
condition. Some people tend to learn about it after they get tinnitus, when it's too late. This
needs to be changed, people should be more aware of this condition; what causes it and ways
to prevent it. Tinnitus is like a headache can be caused for various reasons, but it's very
important to keep in mind to protect your ears whenever possible. Especially the youngsters
who constantly listen to loud music with their iPods and other devices. Clubs and concerts are
two of the worse places where people end up with loud ringing in the ear that doesn't subside.
2
On some forums talk about how they are developing a cure soon but it is uncertain. Tinnitus is
comes from the brain not the ears which makes it harder to find a way to control it. Doctors are
still baffled by what triggers it, however they are more knowledgeable about it now then in the
past. There are all these myths of supplements that could help like ginkgo biloba, herbs, and
even antidepressants that stimulate the brain. However these are not cures and can only do so
much, in some cases it give a bit of relief but to no avail. Remember one thing there is NO
cure………. So this is a life term condition, like a doctor once wrote terrifyingly "tinnitus is not
something that you die from, it's something you die with".
It was recently determined that one of the most famous painter's in history; Vincent van Gogh
had suffered from tinnitus. In fact it was shown vividly in one of his paintings that he had cut off
his own right ear in a desperate attempt for relief. It was even noted that Martin Luther and
many other historical figures had tinnitus. It just goes to show that tinnitus had been
problematic even centuries ago but it just was never known. I don't understand how such a
condition can go on for so long and yet there's no cure? What make it worse are that doctors
still don't fully understand tinnitus.
Now in recent time's even celebrities have tinnitus such as: Keanu Reeves, Cher, Ozzy
Osbourne, William Shatner, just to name a few. What astonishes me about this is that even
these famous people who have more than millions can't even find a cure. So this means that
not even money can save a person with tinnitus…… At this point it's all up to the scientists and
what they can come up with. As of right now they are experimenting with the regrowth of
sensory hair cells, practicing this on mice and chickens. This approach seems promising for a
cure in the future for both hearing loss and tinnitus, however I refuse to have my hopes up for
it. There are many other treatment trials going on right now, in which the results aren't fully
gathered yet. It's all about time and research, that's all we have. In the mean time us tinnitus
sufferers must find ways to cope and live with this condition, not an easy task at all. We have to
figure out what spikes our Tinnitus, a spike is when the ringing get louder than its usual sound.
Often the spike can be permanent given the circumstance it had occurred. For example if it was
spiked by an acoustic loud sound then it might not go back to baseline, however if it was caused
by caffeine or alcohol then mostly the spike will fade once the substance is out your system. It
3
was recently brought to my attention that it is best to have a Tinnitus diary where you write
down each day what you ate or drank, to keep of what spikes it. It's a good way to know and be
able to prevent spikes from occurring as it makes most struggling days worse. There are many
factors that contributes to spikes and a major one is sleep, without enough sleep tinnitus will
taunt you even more than usual, tinnitus is like a child screaming for your attention…….
I along with other Tinnitus sufferers have researched so much info on meds that we could
probably even become a pharmacist!!! It's important that we know exactly what kind of
medications spike T and otoxic drugs that are damaging to the ears and hearing. I believe that
taking meds with tinnitus is a sacrifice because we never know how the ringing will react, and if its reversible. This is the very reason why right before any of us taking any harsh meds when we
are sick, we quickly go on the forum and ask others for advice and opinions to be safe. For
example when my wisdom tooth was swollen and hurting so bad I immediately wanted to take
anything for pain relief and I was offered Naproxen 500mg, I had a feeling that this drug was
harmful to tinnitus. My suspicion was right because when I went on the forum and asked if it
was safe to take Naproxen a few members warned me that it causes irreversible spikes, so it is
believed to be otoxic. In fact one member said that Naproxen even warns that tinnitus is a
possible side effect. So what this does to already tinnitus sufferers is it creates an extra sound
on top of the ringing, making it even more unbearable.
So, what's the point of all this information on Tinnitus and Hyperacusis? AWARENESS!!!!
There's not much awareness and this needs to change. Please protect yourself you only get one
pair of ears and once the damage is done its irreversible. I don't want anyone else to suffer the
wrath of tinnitus, it cost me and all the other sufferers out there our quality of life. Take
precaution and keep the volume down on your iPod/electronic devices.
Hope everyone out there lives a long tinnitus free life!! Enjoy the silence…. You'll never know how precious it is until you lose it.
Living with a monster called Tinnitus:
By: Anonymous/Tinnitus Sufferer
My tinnitus is like a grenade, ready to blow up at every given moment. It does not let me rest, not even in my
sleep. My worst fear is that it would even haunt me in my dreams. Ever since my tinnitus decided to host
my brain, my dreams has been the only place for tranquility where there is no ringing. If that is taken away
from me I will lose my sanity. It feels like there's an electric field passing through my ear 24/7, completely
resistant to go away. It unmercifully shuts off your once known "Life", the only thing you can feel is a dark
wave, consisted of pain, agony, and torture. How do you live with this? That's what I'm still trying to figure
out. I am living in bitterness; everyday is a struggle with this condition.
My Life will never be the same as long as my tinnitus is intact. I only get about two to three hours sleep
average. I can't read in silence anymore, can't watch T.V. the same way without lowering the volume to such
a low point. Did I mention that hyperacusis joined the party? Hyperacusis is Tinnitus's accomplice in crime.
It's an increased sensitivity to everyday sounds. It make's loud sounds hurt, very uncomfortable. Imagine it is
already difficult living with tinnitus but when hyperacusis tags along its doomed to create catastrophe.
In fact the extent that we tinnitus sufferers are willing to go for relief is a bit extreme. For instance on the
Tinnitus Talk Forum I visit to reach out to other sufferers and keep up to date with research news and
treatments; was where I read some of these terrifying experiences. The following is an excerpt from a
member on this forum: "undergoing treatment "they did a caloric test (they put water cold and hot in both
of your ears to see if there is an issue or an imbalance), it was the most horrifying thing I ever experienced...
you have to wear goggles so everything is completely dark and the water in the ears made me feel like I was
falling in the darkness of outer space". Here's another: "You have to sit on a chair and they spin you and you
puke even it retrains the brain, it's the same tactic ballet dancers do so they won't get dizzy when spinning
over and over and over….." "The worst symptom of vertigo is the brain creating this panic anxiety attacks
repeatedly because your brain doesn't recognize all that spinning, so it gets into this run or fight mode."
1
From those horrible experiences, what was shocking to me the most was that the person was
able to embrace their endurance with tinnitus; "I am leaving it all behind now, I have to say I
became stronger as a person, more resilient! The tinnitus is like a scar left from the war to
me."That statement is very encouraging and also very unlikely at the same time. Yes this
condition can make you stronger but you will have many worse than good days. It's a battle
between ups and downs, and we are all soldiers in this war. This experience has made me
realize that with every challenge life's throws at us there's a great story that underlies it.
On the tinnitus forum we all relate to each other, our condition, symptoms, and all the troubles.
We don't just get tinnitus; in some cases we get hyperacusis, anxiety, insomnia, and several
other conditions. Tinnitus comes with this excess baggage. It's on the forum where we get to
express how we handle all this, and tell each other's ways to cope with it better. It's great to
reach how to people who have this condition and understands it makes us feel a little less
alone.
During times like this with setbacks and no hope, a member on the forum would pray. For
example: "Father, in the name of Jesus please help me and my friends recover from this
affliction called tinnitus. I pray that we all have a speedy recovery, and all come back to give
you thanks."
Tinnitus is becoming a growing problem for millions of people around the world. If you don't
believe this look it up and see for yourself, the issue here is not many people are aware of this
condition. Some people tend to learn about it after they get tinnitus, when it's too late. This
needs to be changed, people should be more aware of this condition; what causes it and ways
to prevent it. Tinnitus is like a headache can be caused for various reasons, but it's very
important to keep in mind to protect your ears whenever possible. Especially the youngsters
who constantly listen to loud music with their iPods and other devices. Clubs and concerts are
two of the worse places where people end up with loud ringing in the ear that doesn't subside.
2
On some forums talk about how they are developing a cure soon but it is uncertain. Tinnitus is
comes from the brain not the ears which makes it harder to find a way to control it. Doctors are
still baffled by what triggers it, however they are more knowledgeable about it now then in the
past. There are all these myths of supplements that could help like ginkgo biloba, herbs, and
even antidepressants that stimulate the brain. However these are not cures and can only do so
much, in some cases it give a bit of relief but to no avail. Remember one thing there is NO
cure………. So this is a life term condition, like a doctor once wrote terrifyingly "tinnitus is not
something that you die from, it's something you die with".
It was recently determined that one of the most famous painter's in history; Vincent van Gogh
had suffered from tinnitus. In fact it was shown vividly in one of his paintings that he had cut off
his own right ear in a desperate attempt for relief. It was even noted that Martin Luther and
many other historical figures had tinnitus. It just goes to show that tinnitus had been
problematic even centuries ago but it just was never known. I don't understand how such a
condition can go on for so long and yet there's no cure? What make it worse are that doctors
still don't fully understand tinnitus.
Now in recent time's even celebrities have tinnitus such as: Keanu Reeves, Cher, Ozzy
Osbourne, William Shatner, just to name a few. What astonishes me about this is that even
these famous people who have more than millions can't even find a cure. So this means that
not even money can save a person with tinnitus…… At this point it's all up to the scientists and
what they can come up with. As of right now they are experimenting with the regrowth of
sensory hair cells, practicing this on mice and chickens. This approach seems promising for a
cure in the future for both hearing loss and tinnitus, however I refuse to have my hopes up for
it. There are many other treatment trials going on right now, in which the results aren't fully
gathered yet. It's all about time and research, that's all we have. In the mean time us tinnitus
sufferers must find ways to cope and live with this condition, not an easy task at all. We have to
figure out what spikes our Tinnitus, a spike is when the ringing get louder than its usual sound.
Often the spike can be permanent given the circumstance it had occurred. For example if it was
spiked by an acoustic loud sound then it might not go back to baseline, however if it was caused
by caffeine or alcohol then mostly the spike will fade once the substance is out your system. It
3
was recently brought to my attention that it is best to have a Tinnitus diary where you write
down each day what you ate or drank, to keep of what spikes it. It's a good way to know and be
able to prevent spikes from occurring as it makes most struggling days worse. There are many
factors that contributes to spikes and a major one is sleep, without enough sleep tinnitus will
taunt you even more than usual, tinnitus is like a child screaming for your attention…….
I along with other Tinnitus sufferers have researched so much info on meds that we could
probably even become a pharmacist!!! It's important that we know exactly what kind of
medications spike T and otoxic drugs that are damaging to the ears and hearing. I believe that
taking meds with tinnitus is a sacrifice because we never know how the ringing will react, and if its reversible. This is the very reason why right before any of us taking any harsh meds when we
are sick, we quickly go on the forum and ask others for advice and opinions to be safe. For
example when my wisdom tooth was swollen and hurting so bad I immediately wanted to take
anything for pain relief and I was offered Naproxen 500mg, I had a feeling that this drug was
harmful to tinnitus. My suspicion was right because when I went on the forum and asked if it
was safe to take Naproxen a few members warned me that it causes irreversible spikes, so it is
believed to be otoxic. In fact one member said that Naproxen even warns that tinnitus is a
possible side effect. So what this does to already tinnitus sufferers is it creates an extra sound
on top of the ringing, making it even more unbearable.
So, what's the point of all this information on Tinnitus and Hyperacusis? AWARENESS!!!!
There's not much awareness and this needs to change. Please protect yourself you only get one
pair of ears and once the damage is done its irreversible. I don't want anyone else to suffer the
wrath of tinnitus, it cost me and all the other sufferers out there our quality of life. Take
precaution and keep the volume down on your iPod/electronic devices.
Hope everyone out there lives a long tinnitus free life!! Enjoy the silence…. You'll never know how precious it is until you lose it.
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