Tinnitus Put Me Down on My Knees

[BrStan@]

Dear friends,

I have been following the forum on and of for 2 years now. But never signed up.
I have tinnitus since 1999 after acoustic trauma shooting with Kalashnikov when i was in the army without ear protection. Tinnitus never bothered my until before 2 years. Since then it was only getting worse and worse. I saw ENT twice by now was told e have high frequency hearing loss. The first time i was prescribed Betaserk it did not do anything for my tinnitus . My resent visit to ENT was quite disappointing he told me nothing could be done and that i will get use to it and also that it will not get any worse than that. How stupid i was to believe him that it will not get worse. It got so much worse that i could hardly exist. I have never believe this noise could be so loud that even the train in the underground can not mask it.

 

[billie48]

Welcome and sorry about your suffering with T. Have you tried hearing aids? Some people with tinnitus and hearing loss report that the hearing aids have helped lower the volume. Masking with high frequency natural sounds can also help reduced the suffering. I have high frequency hearing loss too and I need natural sounds of heavy rain, waterfalls, shower, cicadas, even squeaky faucet sound. You may want use the violet or blue noise or the other sounds on this TT link to help masking the high pitch shrill. (the icons on the left side give you instructions step by step)

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/panic/

Try to treat this new level of T and masking as a new normal, much like what this doctor said about his 'new normal'. The less we panic about T and more positive & calm, the easier for the body to habituate to T.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/curing-tinnitus.4136/page-5#post-40854

You will get better over time. Many people post their success stories. Read them up so you know it can get better over time. I posted mine too . My ultra high pitch dog whistle T and severe H turned me into a wreck a few years back. I could hear the T shrill above jet noise in flights and above the raging roaring rapids of the salmon river that I fish. But by following some strategies, I am back to normal living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. You can read it up and leave a comment if you have some questions and if you tag me in your questions with @billie48, I will try to answer them. Take care & God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/from-darkness-to-light-how-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Ricky81]

Wow an ak47 round caused T? I wonder if people in armies or separatists around the world with T are more likely to risk their life because they have nothing to lose... maybe just a thought. With T if you are going down in war, might as well take out 10 of your enemies while getting hit by bullets.

 

[BrStan@]

Thank you, so much for your support @billie48,

I have red your success story, yes you have passed through your own hell and you have survived and now you are enjoying the life again. People like you my friend i believe they came to this world with a mission. Mission to help the world, to help the people who are in need. Look, you got better, but you did not forget about the people who are still straggling and come here for support. Once again Thank You.
This is the first time when someone understand my pain.
But my life like yours was far from good even before T started. I have been also suffering anxiety and depression most of my life. I was on Prozac 5 years ago(for 1 year) . So the devil trio anxiety, depression and severe tinnitus is too much for a human being to handle. I am asking my self what is the point of living a life like this. If were not my wife and daughter i would have been taken my life long time ago.
But that is not everything, to make the thinks even worse i have very bad experience 4 months ago. I was prescribed two antibiotics to treat tooth abscess Amoxiciline and Flagyl. This combination send me to the ER with out of body sensation i was thinking i finally got mad. Since that day i cannot take any medication even Strepsils make me feel wired and dizzy. I developed phobia to medications. Does the hell exist, yes it does and i am there now.
I cannot take any medication to relive my anxiety, my depression and this mind destroyer T.
Also the T i have is very loud and high pitched nothing could ever mask it. Every time when i try to mask it the T always doing some snaky trick and show his ugly head above the masking noise. It some how any noise is making it even louder and worse. The only noise which could really trap it is when i am under the shower.But here i also have to pay the price for the minutes of "silence", because after the shower it is even louder ssssssSSSSSssssSSSSSssssSSSsss it s a wave not a pure tone f...ck. I now that the masking noise does not need to completely cover the T, but it some how making in it worse and louder.
Next i have some hearing loss i can feel this think i struggle to hear clearly in a nosy places(my hearing test also shows this) and also on the phone if i need to hear some numbers.(A?Sorry,Can you please repeat this!Aha i got it).
Like most of you i have "good" and bad days on my bad days i just want to stay in my bed and just ask the God to Take me as soon as possible. But i can not as i have a family to look after so i have to go with my noisy head and do some work.
As i mentioned that i have some hearing lost i wish to try hearing aids, but i am afraid this is going to make the thinks even worse like they did to Viking and some other people.

 

[BrStan@]

Wow an ak47 round caused T? I wonder if people in armies or separatists around the world with T are more likely to risk their life because they have nothing to lose... maybe just a thought. With T if you are going down in war, might as well take out 10 of your enemies while getting hit by bullets.

Ricky81, there is some logic of what you have mentioned above.

 

[erik]

Did you get a hearing test when you initially got T 2 years ago. And have you had one recently which you can compare it to? Sometimes if your hearing does get worse, it will affect your T. Just a thought

 

[billie48]

Thanks for the kind words @BrStan@. I am humbled by that as I am just one of those who respond to call for some support by new members of TT. Collectively, we try to lift the burden of T suffering from these struggling folks because we all know how much we suffered before and hopefully with our little effort and time, we can help them out of their pain. If anything, TT admin such as Markku & Steve & staff such as erik & others deserve our utmost appreciation for making such a friendly site available to the many newer sufferers of the world. This is like a sanctuary of T suffering where people understand each other while the rest of the world don't have a clue.

Regarding your T, the reactive tendency, it seems to have some element of hyperacusis. Ya, tell me about it. H is sometimes worse than T because it limits you on what places you can go to. If you don't find those outside sounds piercingly hurtful, and only seem reactive (like bouncing off them to sound louder), then some form of milder H may be there. Usually, when a new T or a new level of high pitch T hits you, severe H (piercingly hurtful & even painful) or milder H (reactive & appearing louder but not painful) can happen, and the H brings on its own nasty set of bad sensations and intrusion on our life. You may try to protect with ear plugs for loud sounds, but take off the plugs for normal sounds so the ears can gradually harden to the sounds. Over-protection is not good but you are the best judge what you can endure.

Yes, like you I had prior history of anxiety & panic disorders for decades. I also lost one of my kids at young age and I had such a bout of depression requiring intensive psychiatric counselling for more than a year just to survive the deep depression. I know the bitter fang of that D monster. So when T & H hit, they literally opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode the minute I woke up by the loud T shrill. No amount of will power could stop these attacks initially. For a few months T, H, A & P all conspired to attack me with their bad sensations & symptoms, causing inevitable deep depression and sleeplessness. I remember saying to myself how the heck one live with such unlivable situation? I had to depend on Benzos, ADs, sleeping pills etc. just to survive each long dark day. Those were the 'days of hell' indeed.

Time will heal most things, including our body's ability to absorb this alien sensation of T ringing. Adding some strategies and maintaining a positive, relax spirit will help the process. Regarding positivity, I invite you to read up the story of Zoe Cartwright, a pretty young lady who turned completely deaf at 15 and then developed loud unmaskable T. She made a tinnitus film and talked about her life with such an inspiring positive spirit despite her challenge. You can read that up on page 14 & 15 of the Positivity Thread. She has inspired me to bear up with my T on baseline or hugely spiky days with positivity which has helped me to habituate faster. Take care & God bless.