Hello!
I developed tinnitus in July 2021. There was no definitive diagnosis, but they found bilateral hearing loss and chronic severe muscle tension. My tinnitus started after an ear infection and wax blockage. Unfortunately, removing the wax did not stop the noise, nor did treating the infections. I had four infections between July and December 2021, with the last one resulting in an eardrum rupture.
For the past one and a half years, the tinnitus has not bothered me much. I would still love for it to be gone, but it became a mostly manageable part of my life, especially considering that for the first three months, it completely paralyzed me with fear.
Today, though, I nearly had a panic attack from the noise.
On Friday February 28, I lost my husband very suddenly. He was feeling fine. He did the dishes, took the garbage to the curb, then sat down at his desk to start work. He never logged in. A brain aneurysm we did not know he had ruptured, and just like that, he was gone.
The first week after his passing, I was so busy with the funeral that I did not have much time to process my emotions. But now that everything is done and I am alone in our empty house, the grief is hitting me hard and so is the tinnitus.
It is frustrating that it is there, making everything even harder during an already unbelievably difficult time. I am grateful that this is happening now and not two years ago, when I was paralyzed by fear of the noise, but it is still an extra burden I would rather not have right now.
A few weeks ago, I talked to my husband about getting hearing aids, mainly to preserve my brain health by stimulating the frequencies I do not hear. So, I have called to set up an appointment. I hope they might help reduce or even eliminate the tinnitus. But even if they do not, I figure they will still be good for my brain health. Dementia is common in my family, and right now, anything related to the brain terrifies me.
I am not really sure what I was looking for in writing this. Maybe just a place to share and put my pain out there.
I developed tinnitus in July 2021. There was no definitive diagnosis, but they found bilateral hearing loss and chronic severe muscle tension. My tinnitus started after an ear infection and wax blockage. Unfortunately, removing the wax did not stop the noise, nor did treating the infections. I had four infections between July and December 2021, with the last one resulting in an eardrum rupture.
For the past one and a half years, the tinnitus has not bothered me much. I would still love for it to be gone, but it became a mostly manageable part of my life, especially considering that for the first three months, it completely paralyzed me with fear.
Today, though, I nearly had a panic attack from the noise.
On Friday February 28, I lost my husband very suddenly. He was feeling fine. He did the dishes, took the garbage to the curb, then sat down at his desk to start work. He never logged in. A brain aneurysm we did not know he had ruptured, and just like that, he was gone.
The first week after his passing, I was so busy with the funeral that I did not have much time to process my emotions. But now that everything is done and I am alone in our empty house, the grief is hitting me hard and so is the tinnitus.
It is frustrating that it is there, making everything even harder during an already unbelievably difficult time. I am grateful that this is happening now and not two years ago, when I was paralyzed by fear of the noise, but it is still an extra burden I would rather not have right now.
A few weeks ago, I talked to my husband about getting hearing aids, mainly to preserve my brain health by stimulating the frequencies I do not hear. So, I have called to set up an appointment. I hope they might help reduce or even eliminate the tinnitus. But even if they do not, I figure they will still be good for my brain health. Dementia is common in my family, and right now, anything related to the brain terrifies me.
I am not really sure what I was looking for in writing this. Maybe just a place to share and put my pain out there.
Director
