hello,
I can only speak from personal experience.
My T started in 2007 due to ototoxic meds (antidepressant). I was miserable for 3 months and my T varied a lot. I saw an ENT doctor, did all the tests and my hearing was 100% (even 105% on certain frequencies).
At month number 4, I started feeling better and spending hours without thinking about T. My T, which was first quite reactive, stopped reacting to certain noises. 6 months after T started, I got pregnant and involved in a bunch of projects. My mind was elsewhere and I reached 100% habituation by May 2008.
What I mean by 100% habituation is that I know longer paid ANY attention to T. It became a non-issue, althought still present. In June 2008, I went to the countryside in a VERY quiet environment. My T was super loud in the dark but I felt no reaction to it. I was pregnant and happy and I didn't care about my T.
For 7 years, I thought of my T on very very few occasions. When I gave birth to my second daughter, I lacked sleep and felt that T was louder. Within 3-4 days, it was back to normal, 100% habituation and not caring.
In 2010, I had a miscarriage, felt emotionnal and thought about my T for a few days, then stopped again completely and was back to 100% habituation.
That's about it. I went to concerts and clubs and it happened a few times that I checked my T after noise exposure (always while wearing ear plugs and / or earmuffs) and my T was always the same so I always went back to 100% habituation.
Was my T less loud? It's hard to say as I NEVER thought about it. I went throught break-ups, stress, final exams, colds, depression, etc and I never noticed if T increased. I can't tell you if it was the same as onset... but it is true that whatever volume it was at, it faded in the background.
Fast forward May 2014, my left ear clogs and I take antibiotics that were ototoxic to me. My T increased, a lot. Since I discontinued the medication, the louder T decreased but it has changed. I have more tones, a morse code, my reactive T is much louder than before and cannot be masked... it sounds like a frying pan in my head... I have ear pain, etc etc. The volume has also increased but did go down from the time I was on the actual medicaton.
I have a feeling that it is much louder than from 2007 to 2014. But is it really? How would I know, I never paid attention to T for 7 years...it could be the same and I wouldn't know. But the truth is that it bothers me now and it didn't bother me before...
I'm now in my 4th month since the T increase. My T varies on a daily basis. I went on vacation last week, was miserable... I was in the middle of the woods with no masking sounds, no fan, nothing... it was so loud... I was outside by the lake and wanted to enjoy a quiet morning and all I could hear was my freaking T in my head!!
Today, I'm back at work. The T is super quiet. I spent all day not thinking about it. Even the frying pan is low. What's happening?! I do not know.
I aim to habituate, no matter what happens with T. I want to go back to my old life where T was a reality but totally ignored by my brain... that was a great life...
I don't know if I am a typical case or not. Today, I find it hard to believe that I have been a T sufferer for 7 years but that it has only been bothering me for the past 4 months. It sucks. T was 1% of my life before, now it's 50%...
My parents both have T. My dad says that it comes and goes but when it is there, it covers all sounds. He doesn't give a shit and it always goes away after a few days. My mom is deaf in one ear (due to meningitis when she was a child, the bacteria killed her hearing in the right ear)...in her left ear, she has ETD and a very loud morse code... and she says the same thing as my dad: she doesn't care and she says that all the other sounds of life are much more interesting to listen to.
How come I can't reach that state too? After all, they are my parents!! I am prone to anxiety whereare my parents are not.
So right now, I am in the middle of my 2nd habituation process. I wish I could get pregnant right now, maybe it would help in my habituation process like it did in 2008... !! Anyway, I don't want to live a miserable life so I know that in the end, it will get better, in fact, it HAS to get better... I have a lot to handle, a lot of projects going on, 3 young children, an MBA in process, a full time job... I cannot be crushed by T at all and that is what motivates me not to give up.
I'm sorry to say but FUCK T.
Thank you for reading.
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