Hey, TinnitusTalk. I never formally introduced myself since I was worried that by posting here, I was admitting 'defeat' to something. It was stupid- but I think I want to come out of the forest and ask for a bit of help on how I've been feeling, personally.
I've hit a point where it's like a rocking ship. I'll feel fine for twenty minutes, then feel like dying for twenty minutes more. It's a terrible, terrible process, and I know it's not due to some pre-existing psychological condition- I was fine before tinnitus hit, I was dealing with the problems and stress that comes from getting into a new part of my life, but it wasn't something like this. So... where does that leave it? It's in my reaction to negativity and how I react to bad things. It's always something that I've put up with and dealt with when it came to my life; I shut down when the worst seemed to happen.
I've skimmed through a lot of stuff on tinnitustalk. I normally am looking around for positivity- but sometimes I get into a spiral of negativity. I've seen a lot, and, while the vast majority doesn't apply to me- I've picked up on this message that for someone to survive Tinnitus, they need to slowly learn to appreciate the good things in life; to be positive.
I don't have that. I give up when things seem impossible, and I've felt myself fight and struggle to act like I'm okay, and for a few minutes- I can feel just fine, but I can feel myself immediately spiral back into feelings of despair and entropy. It's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to continue feeling like this. I don't want to keep feeling like I want to die; I want to live. I want to struggle- but it's hard, it's distressing. I want to push on, but I also know that a part of me is holding my arm and whispering to me, "Why go on? Why even try? You know it's pointless."
..I guess I've kind of went on a spiel, and I'm sorry if it's a vast word dump- but I guess what I'm asking here is for you guys to let me know I'm going to be okay. I'll get through it. I can see a sun rising at some point, and I can smile at it; because I've tried to carry myself on, and I've not been able to get through it alone. If you guys have any tips for staying positive in adversity, throw them at me. I want to hear your encouragement and suggestions- I want to find a new way to go forward and be happy, even if life has gotten worse- and I wanted to hear it from people I think know how to struggle with something that the wider world isn't even aware of.
Thanks for looking at the thread. I know it's a strange request, and, I don't mean to be annoying if that comes off- I really didn't want to reach out like this, but I figured that I needed to do something for my wellbeing instead of an apathetic consignment to suffering in silence.
I've hit a point where it's like a rocking ship. I'll feel fine for twenty minutes, then feel like dying for twenty minutes more. It's a terrible, terrible process, and I know it's not due to some pre-existing psychological condition- I was fine before tinnitus hit, I was dealing with the problems and stress that comes from getting into a new part of my life, but it wasn't something like this. So... where does that leave it? It's in my reaction to negativity and how I react to bad things. It's always something that I've put up with and dealt with when it came to my life; I shut down when the worst seemed to happen.
I've skimmed through a lot of stuff on tinnitustalk. I normally am looking around for positivity- but sometimes I get into a spiral of negativity. I've seen a lot, and, while the vast majority doesn't apply to me- I've picked up on this message that for someone to survive Tinnitus, they need to slowly learn to appreciate the good things in life; to be positive.
I don't have that. I give up when things seem impossible, and I've felt myself fight and struggle to act like I'm okay, and for a few minutes- I can feel just fine, but I can feel myself immediately spiral back into feelings of despair and entropy. It's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to continue feeling like this. I don't want to keep feeling like I want to die; I want to live. I want to struggle- but it's hard, it's distressing. I want to push on, but I also know that a part of me is holding my arm and whispering to me, "Why go on? Why even try? You know it's pointless."
..I guess I've kind of went on a spiel, and I'm sorry if it's a vast word dump- but I guess what I'm asking here is for you guys to let me know I'm going to be okay. I'll get through it. I can see a sun rising at some point, and I can smile at it; because I've tried to carry myself on, and I've not been able to get through it alone. If you guys have any tips for staying positive in adversity, throw them at me. I want to hear your encouragement and suggestions- I want to find a new way to go forward and be happy, even if life has gotten worse- and I wanted to hear it from people I think know how to struggle with something that the wider world isn't even aware of.
Thanks for looking at the thread. I know it's a strange request, and, I don't mean to be annoying if that comes off- I really didn't want to reach out like this, but I figured that I needed to do something for my wellbeing instead of an apathetic consignment to suffering in silence.
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