I have tried to visualize how my T looks like with this simple curve. What I'm trying to show is that the pitch character of the sound is moving up and down in an endless motion, in context of habitation or TRT I've been anxious if it will be difficult to adapt because it's like fighting a moving target. It would be easier if it was a straighter line cause then the brain would use less effort to constantly put it into the "file register" so to speak. Does anyone recognize themselves in this?
To Fight a Moving Target
- Thread starter Per
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Yes. A lot. There's nothing constant in my T. Yes, maybe the low-volume pure tones, that I hear underneath 'it all'.
Sometimes my T is almost non-existant. Sometimes it's the loudest. Sometimes it's a sharp tone, sometimes it's noise as you describe. Fluctuating up and down in pitch with shooting/firing sounds behind it.
Constantly craving my attention. And I, too, have been wondering the same. Had my T sine 06/13 just like you. Still thinking abour it and hearing it 24/7 (escept when sleeping).
Sometimes my T is almost non-existant. Sometimes it's the loudest. Sometimes it's a sharp tone, sometimes it's noise as you describe. Fluctuating up and down in pitch with shooting/firing sounds behind it.
Constantly craving my attention. And I, too, have been wondering the same. Had my T sine 06/13 just like you. Still thinking abour it and hearing it 24/7 (escept when sleeping).
Yes, we got T at almost the exact same time Hopeful. Great to hear that you sometimes experience almost total relief. I wish I knew how to break that code. To get this freaking noise lower is my foremost hope.
If the main concept of TRT is to make the brain categorize the T as something none threatening, thus making it of less importance, I guess the brain will need to make a "catalog" to store the noise and put a "not important" label on it. But if the pitch character of the sound is always moving in an endless motion my fear is that it would be harder for me/the brain/my limbic system to adapt to it. They speak about making friends with the noise and what not. It's all very alian to me cause I don't feel I'm actually tuning into the T, it's just there! Like a constant reminder of a life so dramatically changed. So I find it hard to really buy into the T therapy thats based on the "out of sight out of mind" principle cause although I don't WANT to pay attention to my shoulder pain my whole physical nerve mechanism is always sending me signals to remind me of that injury. Same thing with T. It feels a little odd to me when someone that doesn't have T themselves are so religiously convinced that WE are the reason our T is so loud, it's like a Christian telling others that their believe is too weak cause healing doesn't occur.
Don't get me wrong with this, Jastreboff's theories and TRT is obviously showing great promise on a global scale and many people really do adapt. I'm actually not too occupied with WHY they did that, cause the main thing is that they did! So, Im just sharing some personal philosophies on this subject too see if anyone else are struggling with this and share the same T type as me. As in fluctuating pitch. I guess it's a support thing. I don't wanna take hope away from anyone that's not habituated yet. Perhaps times itself can provide us with the the most powerful relief, I guess its important to feed the brain with uplifting thoughts like that too. It must be a lot of positive force in that type of solo therapy as well.
To me, the first step is to accept that it's a fight that cannot be won overnight. I keep listening for the fast way out - that the T dissolves by itself. After, now, almost 5 months, I am slowly (!) accepting that this is not going to happen, so I have decided to start the fight. MY first goal is to try and reach a point where I am not analyzing the character of the sound. Only analyzing whether it's loud or not. Together with this, I will try not to think about the T in the situations where I have to search for it to hear it - ie. when I happen to be in a masking environment.
Per, we can do this. But, damn, it's going to be a tough ride.
Wise words Hopeful, trying to do the exact thing. After the panic and realizing no one has a cure (yet) what is left? Choose to fight it ever sec, minute, hour and day? That isn't working so let's get ready for the ride.
The vario curve is not deep, it's a small change in pitch like my curve is illustrating. If this curve is repeated in an endless manner it doesn't sound like relief cause it's ONE repetitive signal, but if the brain is trying to categorize it as one "filed emotion" my fear is that habitation would be more challenging cause of the constant pitch pattern. It's like trying to smash a flying insect instead of hitting it while it's sitting still on the table.
Another equation would be trying to ignore and habituate to the pain coming from the left hand instead of the left hand and the right elbow as well. Is that any better? My theory is that it would take twice the effort cause the brain would constantly send signals trying to tell you about the two pain areas and not just one. Anyways, I guess time will tell but there sure are a lot of unanswered questions to the TRT concept. Just the fact that T is individually unique should tell us that it's a bit odd to pursuit ALL patients as ONE. When a TRT therapist says "it's just your perception of the noise that creates problems" I'm skeptical. Some people have a plethora of very different noises, some have rapid changes in both character pitch and noise types. It's somewhat naive to believe that they all will respond the same to the philosophy of retraining therapy. "From cheep to humans" - that should be the title of the next book on T treatment. Just saying.
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