Tough Love from Doctor

[Mark H]

I have had Tinnitus for 10 (TEN!) years. It started the day I came home from the hospital after having my
kidney removed. (Cancer) It started when I woke up that first morning and sounded like a thousand birds chirping. It changed after a few weeks to a set of two tones ...constant and unrelenting.

I avoided pain meds and aspirin and nothing helped except the sound of water or traffic. I found that my fan at night in my bedroom helped mask it. Quiet rooms are the worst. I was fired from 2 jobs because they were heavy phone jobs with complicated tasks. (Law) and I snapped under the pressure. This was 2007 and 2011.

The masking stopped working in about 2012 as the volume had increased and "crickets" were added to my hell. It seemed like the crickets came after long periods of quiet, like my ears were over-modulating like bad headphones or blown speakers. My doctor told me essentially that I just had to deal with it as there is no cure. My insurance has denied me any hearing aids for my hearing loss in my one ear. This loss was since childhood. They have denied me any therapy as well as it is experimental. They denied me anti-depressants and denied my disability. I am now destitute as I was fired from my last job and have been unable to work. Suicide seems like a blessing...the idea of silence is intoxicating as I remember what it was like. My ears are raging so loud now I can barely function.

 

[Sven]

Can't you go see another doctor? What you're describing seems unacceptable to me.

 

[periphery]

I find it strange that a doctor would deny you anti-depressants. Try another doctor and explain how the T is making you feel.

 

[jimH]

Just because your doctor knows there isn't a cure for it, he still could have done something to treat your anxiety and depression. The severity of my T came down after going on an AD. That's because anxiety exacerbates a T condition.

Please take the good advice suggested by @Sven and @periphery and see another doctor. I hope that there is some kind of social services where you live that can provide you some financial assistance for meds and other things that you need until you are working again.

 

[awbw8]

Hi @Mark H, you did mean your insurance is denying you coverage of these things, correct? Not your doctor?

Your insurance may deny you tinnitus therapy, or therapy from a PhD Psychologist, but is is rare that they can deny you covereage from a Psychiatrist (MD). Try to find one of those in your network. They will likely help you out with anit-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. Regular doctors are usually slower to hand out those kinds of meds as it's not their area of expertise and they can't keep an eye on you as you use them. I've found finding the right anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med combo can use some finessing.

Don't give up!

 

[LadyDi]

Hey @Mark H, I will add my voice to others: You need another doctor! It is true that most insurers deny coverage of experimental therapies and even sound therapies like Neuromonics. Also, I understand that obtaining disability can be hard -- although you might want to see a good disability lawyer. Now that tinnitus is the documented main source of disability payouts from the US Dept of Veterans Affairs, more lawyers are able to make the case for the private sector.

Also, as @awbw8 said: Most insurance covers psychiatric care. And I WOULD go to a psychiatrist vs a GP, as they are the specialists and these are tricky meds. Also, your insurance also may cover cognitive behavioral therapy.

Good luck and hang in there.

 

[Mark H]

Ok well ...my State Disability was approved now I am battling with the Feds. I am absolutely shocked and disgusted with the medical treatment I have received. Luckily, my ENT signed my disability and I will deal with him from now on and leave my internist out of the loop all together as far as the Tinnitus. Part of the problem is that I have remained so positive in the past 10 years that my doctor figured I was dealing with it OK, and I WAS! All the things you read about masking it really do work. However, it seems in severe cases like mine, the brain finds a way around whatever you do to try to trick it. Masking is just that...covering up the situation. Eventually, your brain figures out a way around it like water moves around a rock in a stream. So it is like a prize fight...stick and move and jab and cross. Always switch it up. Stay a step ahead of your opponent. Yet now, my ears are RAGING 24 hours a day and the only relief is in the shower or zonked out in REM sleep. How do you quantify that to a jiffy lube internist who sees you 10 minutes twice a year or a Federal Disability analyst who is hell bent on denying you permanent disability unless you are blind or have no legs? (Eddie Murphy in Trading Places just flashed.."Yeah you heard of Agent Orange? that was ME!)
So I fell apart the other night when I got a 3 day notice again from my landlord. The 4th one in a row. I have borrowed from every available source and bam a message from my insurance company that my referral to an audiologist for a hearing aid was denied...it broke me as I was hoping i could get just a sliver of relief...but I am not giving up. My ENT vowed to try to push it thru so we can try a masking aid to quiet things down occasionally.

 

[MariaH]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation Mark. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult and stressful time, which is probably not helping your tinnitus. Would it be possible for you to buy a one-way ticket to some tropical island and get ANY non-stressful job? I've done it once, I moved from Barcelona to the Caribbean island Bonaire for a year (not because of my tinnitus, but because of some other troubles I was having)... and I worked in a hotel for not much pay and a room. It was bliss. I would be so tired by the end of the day that I had no energy to worry about anything. I spent all my free time in the sunshine and I was surrounded by happy people and healthy food, which did wonders for my state of mind. I know this might sound controversial, and it might not be possible as you are receiving state disability, but you mentioned suicide being a bliss in your earlier message, so I just wanted to give you my thoughts. Maybe a 180 degree change of lifestyle and getting away from the daily #@&( in your life is exactly what you need. It might do you more good than speaking with aloof doctors and taking medication too. Actually, that might put you at risk of making things worse.
Good luck Mark and stay strong.
Maria.

 

[Mark H]

Thanks for the thoughts. i live at the beach and since I am not working anymore for now, I don't think I will be going back to Law Office work. The beach really helps me and maybe I can work in a home depot or some place really loud!