Trying to Cope, Needing Support Desperately

[historicalagency]

Hi all,

I have had tinnitus since about March 2016, so I guess like a year and a half. It happened after a show, but also at the peak of my onset of PTSD. Since then, I've had certain tones come and go, but my constant has been a hissing in the left ear. After about a year, I finally pretty much habituated to it. Now, as if my body is playing another cruel trick on me, I have noticed a new tone in my right ear: this time a ringing. Much lower frequency than the left ear. The left is just static. This is an ACTUAL ringing. And to be honest I'm not sure if I can survive this one.

I keep evading doing work (I am a graduate student) because I am afraid of hearing it. I keep just dissociating and listening to noise or music or watching TV because I'm afraid to be still and quiet and hear it again. I'm afraid to sleep so I've been drinking a lot, until I just pass out so I don't have to hear it. I don't know what to do. I could cope with the hissing, but not the ringing. I need to hear that people have coped with the ringing. I am going to make an appointment with an audiologist tomorrow but I'm not sure what they would even do. I feel like my life is over, and because I associate it with PTSD I blame myself. If I hadn't experienced what I experienced then this would never have happened. I have a constant physical reminder of how my life will never be the same again. I don't know what to do. I could use any kind words or help or advice anyone has. I truly don't know if I will be able to live like this.

 

[GregCA]

I keep just dissociating and listening to noise or music or watching TV because I'm afraid to be still and quiet and hear it again.

If you have to be still and quiet in order to hear it again, you're in good shape. It means distractions can take your mind off it. Hang in there for a while and you'll most likely habituate.

 

[Julieanne]

Awww. Really sympathise with you. It's so horrible. I too drank to excess at one time but soon realised it was only a temporary escape. Your tinnitus is relatively 'young' and you will in time habituate. I am guessing you are quite young too and this must feel so scary. It WILL improve. Mine has and I am aware of 'trigger' points and try to avoid them. Listen to tapes of the ocean and burn some lavender oil at night. Very relaxing. Good luck xxx

 

[Why?]

Know that you are not alone in suffering. This forum is proof of it.

 

[butterfly75]

@historicalagency I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Do you think you can find a therapist to talk about what you were struggling before you had tinnitus? Talking to a therapist about the PTSD might help. If the PTSD is treated, it might be easier to cope with the tinnitus. Tinnitus can be incredibly hard to deal with at first. Many people have intense anxiety and feelings of panic and dread in the first weeks to months.

Please don't blame yourself. You did nothing to deserve tinnitus, and you're struggling with it in the same way as many of the people on here. For me, what helped is understanding the medical reason behind tinnitus. Due to loud sounds, the hair cells in your ear became damaged and emit a constant tone (ringing, hissing, buzzing, crickets etc.) that isn't externally there. It's simple, but understanding the technical reason behind tinnitus made it easier for me to handle. You didn't do anything to deserve tinnitus. It's just a series of reactions in your brain. It sounds like you're associating the onset of tinnitus (or the new ringing tone) with the PTSD, and it's triggering the same feelings of anxiety and dread. What might help is to first separate the two in your mind, so you can handle the PTSD individually and the tinnitus individually. It isn't easy to do this, of course, so don't feel bad for having a difficult time. It's hard to separate two anxiety-triggering subjects in your mind when your brain has associated them together, and given you the same burst of anxiety over and over again whenever you thought of them.

If you feel like you can't live like this, at least try to get through this day. Try to get through each day, day by day only. You don't even have to get through this week. Just this day. And when you get through the next day, you can get through that, but don't think about it until it comes. Just try to get through this day. Remind yourself: "I'm feeling anxious because of the tinnitus right now. I feel a lot of anxiety and fear, but I'm not in any danger. I'm feeling anxious and afraid, but I'm safe. I'm not in any danger. I'm safe." Acknowledge the feelings of anxiety and allow yourself to feel them, and remind yourself that you're not actually in any danger. Just try to get through each day on its own. It's helpful to have ambient noise in the background, so if the TV or the fan masks it, keep using them.

Going through school and dealing with this must be difficult to do at the same time. Allow yourself a break if you need one. The way you're feeling is the most important. I get what you mean when you say the new tone is harder to deal with than the old one. I hear both a hissing and a ringing and I'm not sure which I prefer (neither, really.) People have coped with the ringing. This person https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/ hears a very high-pitched, dog-whistle type constant ringing and was able to overcome it and live a normal, happy life. They also struggled with intense feelings of anxiety and depression when they first developed it. Many people have been where you are right now. Going through this can be incredibly hard at first, but you're not alone. We're here for you. I hope things get much better for you.

 

[Milly19]

I'm the opposite to you! I feel like, without realising it, I've had ringing for years, but so quiet or not often that I've barely noticed it. Only a few instances or nights can I actually remember it being a problem!

But the recent hissing sound is so unbearable! I don't know how you coped with it, so any advice is appreciated! Though if you see my recent thread/post, you'll note I've said how I can't block it out with other noises as I have to sleep in silence

I know this is an older post, so I hope your Tinnitus is more manageable now.

 

[JohnAdams]

Hi all,

I have had tinnitus since about March 2016, so I guess like a year and a half. It happened after a show, but also at the peak of my onset of PTSD. Since then, I've had certain tones come and go, but my constant has been a hissing in the left ear. After about a year, I finally pretty much habituated to it. Now, as if my body is playing another cruel trick on me, I have noticed a new tone in my right ear: this time a ringing. Much lower frequency than the left ear. The left is just static. This is an ACTUAL ringing. And to be honest I'm not sure if I can survive this one.

I keep evading doing work (I am a graduate student) because I am afraid of hearing it. I keep just dissociating and listening to noise or music or watching TV because I'm afraid to be still and quiet and hear it again. I'm afraid to sleep so I've been drinking a lot, until I just pass out so I don't have to hear it. I don't know what to do. I could cope with the hissing, but not the ringing. I need to hear that people have coped with the ringing. I am going to make an appointment with an audiologist tomorrow but I'm not sure what they would even do. I feel like my life is over, and because I associate it with PTSD I blame myself. If I hadn't experienced what I experienced then this would never have happened. I have a constant physical reminder of how my life will never be the same again. I don't know what to do. I could use any kind words or help or advice anyone has. I truly don't know if I will be able to live like this.

look up fx322. this drug may cure us sorta soon

 

[another sean]

In the beginning I was sure I couldn't live if my tinnitus got any louder. 3 permanent spikes later and I couldn't care less about my T when at home. You just need to give your brain a chance to do its thing and habituate. If you keep drowning it out, your brain will never get that chance. And habituating is how you get part of your life back. So please try if you can and know it will get better.

 

[Allan1967]

In the beginning I was sure I couldn't live if my tinnitus got any louder. 3 permanent spikes later and I couldn't care less about my T when at home. You just need to give your brain a chance to do its thing and habituate. If you keep drowning it out, your brain will never get that chance. And habituating is how you get part of your life back. So please try if you can and know it will get better.

How did your spikes happen?

 

[another sean]

How did your spikes happen?

just by going outside, even with ear plugs and ear muffs. took 3 years to stabilize some.