I've had tinnitus for about 4 months now. It began in January when I woke up one morning with my left ear ringing. That was it. It was out of the blue and there was no clear cause, though there were many potential causes or contributors. I had a number of very loud noise exposures in the weeks preceding the onset and I had also been using an NSAID for back pain on and off during that time, as well. The latter seemed to cause some ringing in my ears at one point but I hadn't used it for a least a few days before this suddenly came on.
Anyway, it's been a very difficult time. When this came on, I immediately began having panic attacks, general anxiety, and a deep depression. I can't overstate how terrible this was. I had been on Zoloft for close to 20 years for anxiety and depression before this hit but I had recently gone off the drug after a 2 year wean (long story). So, I was off Zoloft when the tinnitus hit and I quickly started it back up again. Unfortunately, my experience has been that going on Zoloft makes my anxiety and panic much worse for a few weeks before it suddenly starts to reduce these symptoms.
The first several weeks of this were true hell. But, eventually the Zoloft began to help and my mental state improved a lot. And, as my mental state improved, my T symptoms also seemed to improve a bit. It's been erratic but I have had periods now where the T has been very low for stretches. I even started to believe that it was going away. But, at this point, it's pretty clear that it's not going anywhere. It goes up and down unpredictably and the only things I can clearly correlate to it is anxiety and depression.
At the moment, I'm having a significant upsurge in loudness and tonality and I'm falling back into a depression. I'm also sliding back toward panic attacks again. My T is a very strange thing. It used to be distinctly tonal but these days it's more like a high-pitched buzzing that comes mostly from the left ear, though there are times where it feels like it's coming from everywhere. My whole head feels distorted and damaged. I also get sudden tonal surges in one ear or the other at unpredictable times, though I feel some kind of physical sensation immediately preceding them. But, for the last few days, I have been having a growing tonal ringing again and I can't seem to ignore it anymore.
So, I'm really worried again. I thought I was getting better but I'm clearly not. I also thought I was starting to accept my T and that this wasn't going to completely destroy my life. But, now I fear it's owning me all over again. I'm extremely afraid that I have some undiagnosed disease and that all my good days are all behind me. I feel broken and hopeless again. I don't understand what's wrong with me and I'm not sure it will ever stabilize again. I've done pretty much every test that medicine can offer and nothing has come from it. I suppose that's a good thing but not understanding this is torturing me.
Anyway, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there where people can relate. My family and friends have been very supportive but few people seem to understand how difficult this really is.
Thanks for listening! Randy
Anyway, it's been a very difficult time. When this came on, I immediately began having panic attacks, general anxiety, and a deep depression. I can't overstate how terrible this was. I had been on Zoloft for close to 20 years for anxiety and depression before this hit but I had recently gone off the drug after a 2 year wean (long story). So, I was off Zoloft when the tinnitus hit and I quickly started it back up again. Unfortunately, my experience has been that going on Zoloft makes my anxiety and panic much worse for a few weeks before it suddenly starts to reduce these symptoms.
The first several weeks of this were true hell. But, eventually the Zoloft began to help and my mental state improved a lot. And, as my mental state improved, my T symptoms also seemed to improve a bit. It's been erratic but I have had periods now where the T has been very low for stretches. I even started to believe that it was going away. But, at this point, it's pretty clear that it's not going anywhere. It goes up and down unpredictably and the only things I can clearly correlate to it is anxiety and depression.
At the moment, I'm having a significant upsurge in loudness and tonality and I'm falling back into a depression. I'm also sliding back toward panic attacks again. My T is a very strange thing. It used to be distinctly tonal but these days it's more like a high-pitched buzzing that comes mostly from the left ear, though there are times where it feels like it's coming from everywhere. My whole head feels distorted and damaged. I also get sudden tonal surges in one ear or the other at unpredictable times, though I feel some kind of physical sensation immediately preceding them. But, for the last few days, I have been having a growing tonal ringing again and I can't seem to ignore it anymore.
So, I'm really worried again. I thought I was getting better but I'm clearly not. I also thought I was starting to accept my T and that this wasn't going to completely destroy my life. But, now I fear it's owning me all over again. I'm extremely afraid that I have some undiagnosed disease and that all my good days are all behind me. I feel broken and hopeless again. I don't understand what's wrong with me and I'm not sure it will ever stabilize again. I've done pretty much every test that medicine can offer and nothing has come from it. I suppose that's a good thing but not understanding this is torturing me.
Anyway, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there where people can relate. My family and friends have been very supportive but few people seem to understand how difficult this really is.
Thanks for listening! Randy
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