Trying to Find a Reason to Continue

[Wojtek Kalka]

Thank you honored

 

[billie48]

And about not letting me dictate my life, I have been tried not to, but it seems thats all that it has been doing for the last months... I don't even play or listen to music, it feels weird and I always have the fear its going to make this worse, I have trouble sleeping, and trouble coping with loud sounds, sometimes even conversations, its actually painful.
I guess I just gotta keep trying

I have true empathy for your suffering with both T & H. Yes, I had them both at one time too, ultra high pitched and loud dog whistle plus severe hyperacusis which turned all normal sounds piercingly hurtful, and like you, I couldn't even stand social conversations, even the soft voice of my wife spoken close to me. So I understand the feeling of misery and despair. I was in a mess initially with them too. Besides T & H, I also had been victim of PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder for decades prior to T & H. So you can imagine the horror I went through with them. My formerly weakened nerves simply had no chance against T & H. They literally opened the floodgate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode daily, from the minute I woke up with loud T blasting away. I never thought I could survive so much suffering. But never say never. Today I live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story and share some helpful strategies like others do. check it out if you have time. Don't panic and don't despair. Give it some time and apply some helpful strategies from those who have walked their talk. Take care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Emanuel Lourenco]

I never thought I could survive so much suffering. But never say never. Today I live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story and share some helpful strategies like others do. check it out if you have time. Don't panic and don't despair. Give it some time and apply some helpful strategies from those who have walked their talk. Take care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

It has been more than a year now and all that it happened is it got worse, much worse , when I thought it could only get better... now its T in multiple tones, H, headaches, pressure in my ears... all these symptoms seem to be related and still jesus christ I can't believe that just some low T would develop into this! how can I have hope when all that has happened now is get worse. From what I read in this website people that have it this long and get this worse don't seem to get back to normal, which is the only thing I want now. Nothing else feels fulfilling I just wish I could go back to normal and I don't believe that is going to happen

 

[MidnightOilAudio]

I am really struggling trying to find motivation to do anything at all. I got tinnitus pretty bad that doesnt get masked anymore, hyperacusis and headaches cause of all this crap. I mean... Obviously there is no cure, treatment or any plausible relief for this... So why keep going?

I don't know what else to do, I just want this to go away, I lost all my motivation to do things because they just don't matter anymore, I don't want any other thing ever, this is all that goes in my mind, I forgot what it's like not to feel sad or in desperation nor what it's like to not have all your wishes and aspirations to be bottled down to one single impossible thing.

This is the part where Suicide seems the only possible relief and yet it's so hard of a feat not just for me but for everyone around me. I just don't know what to do anymore...

I haven't read the entire thread, but I bolded where I disagree with you. I think you are correct in that there is no "cure" (which I would consider making T completely disappear), but I don't think you're correct in that there isnt' any plausible relief for you. I don't believe you're at the stage to be able to honestly make that statement. Have you tried anything besides Magnesium (like I said, I admittedly haven't read the entire thread)? Have you tried an antidepressant regimen combined with some sort of talk therapy or a benzo for when it gets really bad? I know this forum seems to be "split" on benzo's, but from what I have experienced with having T and using them in the past, is that for most of us, we would be happy with just a few minutes of relief. An hour would be a miracle! Benzo's calm your limbic system and allow for some relief. No, they do not make the ringing stop (although for some, it lessens), but they do allow you to relax. Once the benzo wears off, you usually have the gift of hope, which can keep you going. Some might say it is "false hope", but what is the alternative? Far worse.

 

[billie48]

It has been more than a year now and all that it happened is it got worse, much worse , when I thought it could only get better... now its T in multiple tones, H, headaches, pressure in my ears... all these symptoms seem to be related and still jesus christ I can't believe that just some low T would develop into this! how can I have hope when all that has happened now is get worse. From what I read in this website people that have it this long and get this worse don't seem to get back to normal, which is the only thing I want now. Nothing else feels fulfilling I just wish I could go back to normal and I don't believe that is going to happen

If you want to be negative and think that you have the worst case of T or H, there is nothing stopping you from the tons of negativity that the T bully can throw at you. Negativity leads to more stress which can aggravate your suffering whereas positivity will do the opposite. Your choice. You are not the only one struggling with T & H and many have other conditions like Meniere's for @glynis. There are many members with T developing into multi tones. I was surprised to watch David Letterman and William Shatner (Star Trek Captain Kirk) talking about their T in a show in 1996. Letterman said his T is more than 1 tone and it is on 7/24, joking that it is like the emergency broadcast system on test mode 7/24 while he was trying to entertain his audience. Both him and Shatner said their T were getting worse, but 20 years later, Letterman just retired a few years back and Shatner is still actively acting.

So how you react to your T & H is up to each of us. You can find plenty of people who go on with life regardless of T and H. Melody Gardot, a pretty jazz singer had both servere T & H and has to wear earplugs all the time. Besides she was hit by an SUV at young 19 causing her massive pain and now still walking on a cane. She had to be hospitalized for a year. Yet she didn' t quite on life and has thrived as a singer, singing among loud band sounds (with earplugs on of course). Zoe Cartwright, another pretty young girl turned completely deaf at young 15, and have loud unmaskable T all the time for life (as she can't hear anything else). I admire her for not turning to negativity and blame life and fate for her misery. But she kept positive and move on with life and live a normal, happy life. She even made a film on her unmaskable T which is on youtube for all to see.

You can choose to keep on thinking negatively and want to quit on life or you can bite the bullet and move on positively to pursue your goals and dreams in life like these girls do. Who knows how the future would be. I took 3 years to get better. Paul Tobey my first mentor took 4 years, Kevin Hogan a few years. These are mentors teaching people how to get better with T and yet they took years to get better. So why rush yourself? By the way, you can message @Danny Boy about how he gets his T & H under control by drugs if you are really down to the last resort. Here are videos of David Letterman and the two ladies I talk about above. Hope you can hang on and don't succumb to the T bully and his lies.

David Letterman & Shatner:


Zoe Cartwright with unmaskable T: (the title of film 24.7.52.10 means she has had unmaskable T 7/24, 52 weeks a year and for 10 years at the time of the film, meaning she was 25 at the time)


Melody Gardot jazz singer with severe T & H and her story:
http://www.express.co.uk/expressyourself/45834/How-music-saved-this-woman-s-life

and her performance on Letterman's show who has multi-tone T himself 7/24 just to show you life goes on with people who have similar challenges like you and me, and we can choose to live or to quit, the choice is ours :

 

[Emanuel Lourenco]

I haven't read the entire thread, but I bolded where I disagree with you. I think you are correct in that there is no "cure" (which I would consider making T completely disappear), but I don't think you're correct in that there isnt' any plausible relief for you. I don't believe you're at the stage to be able to honestly make that statement. Have you tried anything besides Magnesium (like I said, I admittedly haven't read the entire thread)? Have you tried an antidepressant regimen combined with some sort of talk therapy or a benzo for when it gets really bad? I know this forum seems to be "split" on benzo's, but from what I have experienced with having T and using them in the past, is that for most of us, we would be happy with just a few minutes of relief. An hour would be a miracle! Benzo's calm your limbic system and allow for some relief. No, they do not make the ringing stop (although for some, it lessens), but they do allow you to relax. Once the benzo wears off, you usually have the gift of hope, which can keep you going. Some might say it is "false hope", but what is the alternative? Far worse.

Yeah I tried some benzos and it felt really great to get relief for a while, but i also read they can be bad for your earing and your T so i stopped using them when i needed the most. I am thinking of talking with a doctor about if i can get some anti depression drugs because I think I might have depression, or maybe its just this condition that makes me unable to enjoy anything... I can't really tell anymore its been months since ive felt happiness... but you are right, i need to check the thread more but everytime i search for some drug or therapy and then i read the thread it ends up not being plausible and just depresses me even more

Thank you for your input, hugs

 

[Emanuel Lourenco]

If you want to be negative and think that you have the worst case of T or H, there is nothing stopping you from the tons of negativity that the T bully can throw at you. Negativity leads to more stress which can aggravate your suffering whereas positivity will do the opposite. Your choice. You are not the only one struggling with T & H and many have other conditions like Meniere's for @glynis. There are many members with T developing into multi tones. I was surprised to watch David Letterman and William Shatner (Star Trek Captain Kirk) talking about their T in a show in 1996. Letterman said his T is more than 1 tone and it is on 7/24, joking that it is like the emergency broadcast system on test mode 7/24 while he was trying to entertain his audience. Both him and Shatner said their T were getting worse, but 20 years later, Letterman just retired a few years back and Shatner is still actively acting.

So how you react to your T & H is up to each of us. You can find plenty of people who go on with life regardless of T and H. Melody Gardot, a pretty jazz singer had both servere T & H and has to wear earplugs all the time. Besides she was hit by an SUV at young 19 causing her massive pain and now still walking on a cane. She had to be hospitalized for a year. Yet she didn' t quite on life and has thrived as a singer, singing among loud band sounds (with earplugs on of course). Zoe Cartwright, another pretty young girl turned completely deaf at young 15, and have loud unmaskable T all the time for life (as she can't hear anything else). I admire her for not turning to negativity and blame life and fate for her misery. But she kept positive and move on with life and live a normal, happy life. She even made a film on her unmaskable T which is on youtube for all to see.

You can choose to keep on thinking negatively and want to quit on life or you can bite the bullet and move on positively to pursue your goals and dreams in life like these girls do. Who knows how the future would be. I took 3 years to get better. Paul Tobey my first mentor took 4 years, Kevin Hogan a few years. These are mentors teaching people how to get better with T and yet they took years to get better. So why rush yourself? By the way, you can message @Danny Boy about how he gets his T & H under control by drugs if you are really down to the last resort. Here are videos of David Letterman and the two ladies I talk about above. Hope you can hang on and don't succumb to the T bully and his lies.

Thank you so much for this, hope i can get through it as lots of people do
Hugs

 

[glynis]

@Emanuel Lourenco ,
Tinnitus can be really hard going especially when other symptoms are added to it and have it in your head and ears and a few tones together.

I have been to a dark place in my journey with Sever tinnitus and Menieres and felt like all hope had gone!
I'm so happy to say never give up hope because I'm proof that life can get better and you get through the storms in your own time with help and support and maybe medications even though it might not seem it for you at the moment don't give up hope.
Love glynis x

 

[Anthony T]

Emanuel,

Hey man, I was "on the ledge" only a few days ago.. I have people in my life who could tell I was about to "go" they stepped in.. then a miracle happened.. my jaw suddenly popped and the T was greatly reduced.. I'm now seeing a kinesiologist who has found a problem in my neck & jaw.. an old sports injury seems to be the cause.. Point is that there might be a physical / body-mechanical issue that is at the root of the T.. Don't give-up bro!

 

[Kathi]

Yeah I tried some benzos and it felt really great to get relief for a while, but i also read they can be bad for your earing and your T so i stopped using them when i needed the most. I am thinking of talking with a doctor about if i can get some anti depression drugs because I think I might have depression, or maybe its just this condition that makes me unable to enjoy anything... I can't really tell anymore its been months since ive felt happiness... but you are right, i need to check the thread more but everytime i search for some drug or therapy and then i read the thread it ends up not being plausible and just depresses me even more

Thank you for your input, hugs

hi Emanuel--I am really sorry for your suffering. In the past, particularly in the first year, I've been to dark places myself. Please read my old posts about Xanax. Please remember that I do not advocate taking meds or not taking meds. I share only my experience and hope and maybe that will help you find the strength to get through all this. There is hope. I habituated my chronic T with a lot of help. @billie48 and many others, were a huge help. I saw that I could lead a productive life. I used Xanax because my doctor prescribed it--not for the tinnitus but for the anxiety I have always had since childhood. It made me feel normal but I still had tinnitus. I found that I could function and really, what choice do we have? We have to get on with our lives. It is the only way. I take a very low therapeutic dose of Xanax and the dose has not changed in 4 years so I was not driven into "addiction". It is .50m and is monitored by my doc every four months. I used to take it every 8 hours but now I only take it as needed. It doesn't stop my tinnitus but it makes me normal--no panic, no catastrophic thinking (I also did a workshop on anxiety and learned how to use CBT and relaxation to help me with my anxiety).

Recently my tinnitus got louder as I had to take anti cancer drugs. I am in the process of re-habituating. I'm getting there--one day at a time. I no longer am reacting to the new loudness but am still aware of the tinnitus most of the time. I know I'll get there--I have hope and experience so I know it is possible.

I wish you serenity. It will help. Try reading the 'positivity thread'--it shows our journeys.

 

[Suzerman]

I am really struggling trying to find motivation to do anything at all. I got tinnitus pretty bad that doesnt get masked anymore, hyperacusis and headaches cause of all this crap. I mean... Obviously there is no cure, treatment or any plausible relief for this... So why keep going?

I don't know what else to do, I just want this to go away, I lost all my motivation to do things because they just don't matter anymore, I don't want any other thing ever, this is all that goes in my mind, I forgot what it's like not to feel sad or in desperation nor what it's like to not have all your wishes and aspirations to be bottled down to one single impossible thing.

This is the part where Suicide seems the only possible relief and yet it's so hard of a feat not just for me but for everyone around me. I just don't know what to do anymore...

All I can say is to keep hope. There is some serious research going on they're expecting some actual treatment by 2020. I can only imagine how bad this type of tinnitus can be, and I admire anyone who keeps fighting against it every single day, just hope that this might give you the strength to keep going.

 

[billie48]

There is hope. I habituated my chronic T with a lot of help. @billie48 and many others, were a huge help. I saw that I could lead a productive life.

Thank you Kathi for the kind words. Yes, it is possible to live a normal, productive and even happy life after T. I am very happy for you and others who have found life again after the bully seems to suggest otherwise. It is important to hang in there initially and then learn to apply the helpful strategies/methods/approaches that others have shared. Just copy success. Let mother TIME and the body do the rest of healing if you already have done the best you can. Sometimes, doing nothing for T and doing everything for yourself is what it takes. I was in a mess initially and I have bad T & severe H, much like @Emanuel Lourenco and his struggle. It took me 3 years to turnaround but others can take less time. No one is superhuman and can be spared of the T suffering overnight. But if we live as positively and calm as we humanly can, our brain can do the rest for us, if slowly, to either fade out or habituate to T. Time is on our side. Take setbacks in stride, knowing that they are the little bumps on the road to final recovery. I was having bad T & H like @Emanuel Lourenco and I questioned the value of life too initially like him. But I am glad I didn't do the unthinkable (the youtube videos by people who had near-death-experience convince me that it may be a one-way ticket with uncertain, undesirable outcome). Today I live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. What about H? It was gone after a year. T? Still there, but my persistent approach of ignoring it and doing nothing for it while I live life abundantly has totally 'killed' this beast. I am near silence most days now. Pretty soon, I may write another success story called 'Back to Silence, Me Too'. Lol.

 

[DebInAustralia]

I am really struggling trying to find motivation to do anything at all. I got tinnitus pretty bad that doesnt get masked anymore, hyperacusis and headaches cause of all this crap. I mean... Obviously there is no cure, treatment or any plausible relief for this... So why keep going?

I don't know what else to do, I just want this to go away, I lost all my motivation to do things because they just don't matter anymore, I don't want any other thing ever, this is all that goes in my mind, I forgot what it's like not to feel sad or in desperation nor what it's like to not have all your wishes and aspirations to be bottled down to one single impossible thing.

This is the part where Suicide seems the only possible relief and yet it's so hard of a feat not just for me but for everyone around me. I just don't know what to do anymore...

im over 4 years in with severe t and mod h (initially), reactive t, which i think is part of h and frequent and intense spikes.

threw a lot of things at it.

listening to white noise around the frequency of my losses would give me some suppression.

adipose derived stem cells in may last year dramatically reduced my h and reactive t. it may have reduced my t in part. if you can afford it, id have a crack at stems. t no longer causes me grief, but i understand where youre at.

danny used keppra to cure his h. of course, thete are therapies such as trt.

round and oval window reinforcement sugery is available for h. others may be able to comment on this.

cbt mindfulness really helps too.

 

[Rajin]

Hang in there my friend, prayer do help . It not a easy thing . Seem only ppl with T understand what it like to live with this they call a symptom not a disease. You have to be strong. I just hope and pray they come up with something soon to help us all.No one deserves to live with noise in their head 24/7. Something have to be done quickly have faith.