University Life and Problems...

[walkthroughwalls]

This isn't directly tinnitus related, but I'm not sure who else I could ask for help...

A (hopefully) brief history of my life:

My childhood was pretty miserable. I didn't fit the image of the child my parents wanted to have, which caused all kinds of problems and confusion. It did, however, finally forced me to develop myself into the person I wanted to be. I consider myself capable of independent thought and I have found interests and developed skills that suit me. I'm a little bit proud of this, if I may say so myself.

High school was awful for me. It mostly consisted of getting bullied or being bored. I never had to work much to pass classes. The classes I took mostly killed my interest in that subject. I had a bad argument with the school's management after finding a way to get the school computer's administrator password. I immediately and honestly reported this, but through a series of events, the school later tried to use this as "leverage" for something else, threatening to expel me for "hacking" as a result.
A couple of years after finishing high school I finally enrolled in a music school where I wound up doing a double bachelor. Here too, I had a couple of run-ins with the management. The head of the jazz department told me I shouldn't play the double bass while sitting on a stool (like many professional bassists do), because it would be "bad for my sense of time" and other nonsensical reasons. Later on, my application to go on an exchange was cancelled under dubious circumstances, which may or may not be related...

In order to find out how I really was, I had to stop fooling myself and had to start taking an honest look at myself and the things around me. I still value truth very highly. But it seems that this quality of mine gets me into trouble. Many people do really evaluate what they say (see above for an example), and they don't want to be challenged. But it seems that that is exactly what I do, even just by merely by existing and making rational choices.


I mostly got through music school okay, although I did start to notice a couple of things that became more apparent when I started working professionally. Mainly this: people will blatantly lie and back stab you to get ahead themselves. And networking is everything. The musician who gets hired is not the one who can play the best or work the hardest, it's basically the one who's best at "hanging out" and talking about pop culture.
And I'm good at neither...

After two years, I completely had enough due to the above. Add to that that my tastes in music were developing away from the mainstream as well, which made everything harder too. I wanted to get my income elsewhere, or switch careers completely.


And so I enrolled for a three-year university degree in Computer Science, my other passion. It's now been four years and I'm going to need another 6 months to graduate. Partly, this is caused by getting tinnitus, partly this is caused by... well, that's what I would like to ask you.

In my view, this university is trying to educate too many students with not enough personnel. All courses have assignments that have to be completed in groups of (at least) two, because that means that there's only half the amount of homework to grade. Most of the time, I'm assigned a group of slackers or freeloaders, and have to complete most of the assignments on my own. I can usually do this, but at the expense of being burned out by the end of the term and failing the next set of courses. The staff doesn't care and doesn't help. Believe me, I tried...

Most (badly written) assignments are recycled year after year, and these are the same for every student. Plagiarism is rampant among students. It's completely common to see well-connected students get high grades with a minimum of work, and honest students struggling to pass.

A lot of teaching is not done by qualified professors, but by "teaching assistants". These generally are students who passed the course the year before and are given a piece of paper with the solutions on them. Occasionally, these students happen to be good teachers, but most of the time they're horrible and are only doing it for the money.
I've actually been a teaching assistant (TA) once, so I got a bit of an inside look and it's not pretty. The more experienced TA's will warn the new ones: raise your voice about anything and you won't get appointed ever again. The professors generally like TA's who do as they're told and keep their mouths shut.
And that's exactly what I didn't do... Once a server on which first year students had to log in for this course was hardly secured. I just had to, at a very minimum, suggest that we ask students to change their passwords. This suggestion was not appreciated. Well, guess what... one month later, the server was broken into. Everything, including the usernames and passwords of hundreds of students may have been stolen. The school's response was to cover it up.
Another thing that happened was that I was working three times as many hours as on my contract. Partly because some other TA's weren't doing their part. I tried to bring it up, and was immediately shut down by the professor and a couple of teacher's pets.
I was never hired again. In fact, one of my future applications was rejected and they ended up asking and hiring another student who hadn't even applied.

Then the level of education itself. This is university-level degree. You'd expect to be trained in the skills that make for a good scientist, such as initiative, critical thinking, abstract problem solving, coming up with new ideas, etc. But there's basically none of that. All it requires to pass courses is obedience and memorization.
There are actually students who know their computers inside out, and out-program any other student, but they do badly in school because they lack the obedience and can't be bothered with memorizing a set of facts that most students forget right after the exams anyway.


And so here I am again... This year, I took eight courses. I had to do the assignment (mostly) alone for five of them. I'm still working on one other course/project, although I am again burned out. Next year I have to do my bachelor's project and one course I couldn't pass earlier.
My parents don't like me. I'm way into debt. I find it difficult to maintain friendships because of the heavy workload and the constant depression.

I don't see much of a future. I can't return to music due to tinnitus. Ideally, universities would actually function according to enlightenment ideas, and I'd aim at getting a PhD and becoming a professor. I hate the CS bachelor I'm in, but I love the field of Computing Science.


I'm afraid there's something with me that causes me to be such a failure again and again. I run into similar problems at every school I've been to. I try to work hard, be proactive, friendly, polite, constructive and creative. What I am not, is mindlessly obedient or conforming. And these qualities seem to be valued more.
I have some vague sense of what's happening... but I keep running into the same kind of problems...

Is there anyone who recognizes this? Or wants to explore this a little with me? What can I do to find a future in which I'll be happy, but still be myself?

 

[Bill Bauer]

In my view, this university is trying to educate too many students with not enough personnel. All courses have assignments that have to be completed in groups of (at least) two, because that means that there's only half the amount of homework to grade.

It is my understanding that these days faculty are encouraged to have group work as part of their classes. It is an expectation that both the administration and the undergraduate students seem to have. The faculty who don't use group work, get negative comments on their student course evaluations.

Plagiarism is rampant among students. It's completely common to see well-connected students get high grades with a minimum of work, and honest students struggling to pass.

This sucks!!

A lot of teaching is not done by qualified professors, but by "teaching assistants". These generally are students who passed the course the year before and are given a piece of paper with the solutions on them.

Are you saying that the professors are teaching the lectures, and the teaching assistants are teaching the seminars?

This is university-level degree. You'd expect to be trained in the skills that make for a good scientist, such as initiative, critical thinking, abstract problem solving, coming up with new ideas, etc. But there's basically none of that. All it requires to pass courses is obedience and memorization.

Not all people can be obedient, and so your university is performing a valuable service for the employers - they identify the people who would make for good employees.

If you want to be taught those other skills, you will need to go get a terminal degree (e.g., a Ph.D.).

There are actually students who know their computers inside out, and out-program any other student, but they do badly in school because they lack the obedience

And those are the people who would end up being horrible employees, who would cause the organization to be disfunctional and unproductive.

Ideally, universities would actually function according to enlightenment ideas

Enlightenment requires prosperity. Prosperity requires employees being productive. Productivity requires obedience in the boss employee relationship and lack of conflict.

Armies are organizations that care the most about getting results and getting things done. Guess what their attitude is regarding their members following the orders given to them by their commanders.

I'm afraid there's something with me that causes me to be such a failure again and again.

See my reply below in bolded font.

Here too, I had a couple of run-ins with the management. The head of the jazz department told me I shouldn't play the double bass while sitting on a stool (like many professional bassists do), because it would be "bad for my sense of time" and other nonsensical reasons.

Don't do something because it makes sense, do something because your boss asked you to do it and doesn't make sense to make your boss unhappy. In other words, if you want to have a happy and prosperous life, your objective shouldn't be to prove to the other people that you are right, your objective should be to have a happy, prosperous life, free of conflict. You do it by making sure to "pick your battles" wisely, and by not engaging in a conflict when there is nothing to be gained by winning, and everything to be lost as a result of the conflict.

I never had to work much to pass classes. The classes I took mostly killed my interest in that subject.

It helps to put things into perspective. You are not there to be entertained. You take that course because taking it makes your future brighter.

What I am not, is mindlessly obedient or conforming.

You tried it and you are unhappy about the results. Try changing it. By the way, it is not Mindlessly obedient. In view of the argument in bold fond above, what you have been doing is mindless (or at least is aimed at achieving a goal that is different from your actual goal).

Is there anyone who recognizes this?

You remind me of a co-worker. He is profoundly unhappy, and everyone hates him. He attacks everyone every time he can, and is always in trouble. In his mind he is fighting for the Truth. Everyone else believes that he is just an asshole. You don't want to be like him!

 

[TuneOut]

Enlightenment requires prosperity.

The Buddha might disagree with you on that one.

 

[walkthroughwalls]

Well... This topic sank like a brick...


Bill Bauer, thanks for your elaborate reply!

It is my understanding that these days faculty are encouraged to have group work as part of their classes. It is an expectation that both the administration and the undergraduate students seem to have. The faculty who don't use group work, get negative comments on their student course evaluations.

There are a couple of classes (typically with 'Software Engineering' in the name) which are specifically designed to have students complete a larger programming task with a group. For all the other classes, it's just a cost-cutting measure. Most professors have admitted this when I talked to them privately.
There are also other signs, such as that there is no education towards 'how to work in a group' or support on what to do if you're in a dysfunctional group. Another sign is that some classes, in order to cut costs even more, switch to a system where a computer grades the assignments and the students' code is not being reviewed by any human being. In that case, the class reverts to having students complete the work individually. (Although it's a public secret that the majority of students will plagiarize other student's work...)

Are you saying that the professors are teaching the lectures, and the teaching assistants are teaching the seminars?

Yes, basically.
The professors teach the lectures, typically they read a two-hour PowerPoint presentation out loud. Students may ask for clarification, but nothing else.

Lab sessions (computers) and tutorials (pen and paper) and taught, graded and often even written by teaching assistants.

Final exams have to be graded by professors. These exams are often nothing but memory tests and do not require any insight or creative problem solving.

Not all people can be obedient, and so your university is performing a valuable service for the employers - they identify the people who would make for good employees.

If you want to be taught those other skills, you will need to go get a terminal degree (e.g., a Ph.D.).

And those are the people who would end up being horrible employees, who would cause the organization to be disfunctional and unproductive.

Enlightenment requires prosperity. Prosperity requires employees being productive. Productivity requires obedience in the boss employee relationship and lack of conflict.

Armies are organizations that care the most about getting results and getting things done. Guess what their attitude is regarding their members following the orders given to them by their commanders.

See my reply below in bolded font.

Don't do something because it makes sense, do something because your boss asked you to do it and doesn't make sense to make your boss unhappy. In other words, if you want to have a happy and prosperous life, your objective shouldn't be to prove to the other people that you are right, your objective should be to have a happy, prosperous life, free of conflict. You do it by making sure to "pick your battles" wisely, and by not engaging in a conflict when there is nothing to be gained by winning, and everything to be lost as a result of the conflict.

It helps to put things into perspective. You are not there to be entertained. You take that course because taking it makes your future brighter.

You tried it and you are unhappy about the results. Try changing it. By the way, it is not Mindlessly obedient. In view of the argument in bold fond above, what you have been doing is mindless (or at least is aimed at achieving a goal that is different from your actual goal).

You remind me of a co-worker. He is profoundly unhappy, and everyone hates him. He attacks everyone every time he can, and is always in trouble. In his mind he is fighting for the Truth. Everyone else believes that he is just an asshole. You don't want to be like him!

I guess we have very different views on the goal of education, and possibly on social structure, what human nature is and how we can best maximize well-being as well. While I find these topics very interesting, I don't have the energy at the moment to debate them. Sorry for not being able to defend my views at the moment...

I am very careful not be like your co-worker and I don't actively go out to prove to others that I'm right.

The problem is that others unjustifiably demand certain behavior of me. And I want to stand up for myself and protect my rights. I could let people boss me around more, which would lead to less conflict, but there would be less and less left of me (= my values, desires, interests...). It feels like too big a concession. It strongly goes against my sense of justice.
If I'm mostly just an object to act upon or instrument of those around me, I cannot be happy. Where would you draw the line?

In other cases, such as with the insecure server, I feel it's my moral obligation to prevent passwords from getting stolen and others getting hurt.

Still, I probably would do okay in university if it's wasn't the case that I have to do double or triple the amount of work for some classes. I can handle a fair amount of pointless work, as long as I'm not completely turned into a 24/7 robot, which has been the case.
At the moment I'm seeing many freeloading and cheating students graduate, while I'm still here. It all feels very unfair. It's like there's some secret club, and I'm not in it... I find it very difficult to accept this and move on.

 

[Bill Bauer]

typically they read a two-hour PowerPoint presentation out loud

This is horrible. As ridiculous, and as bad as it gets...

These exams are often nothing but memory tests

Doing well on a memory test can be done by anyone who is willing to invest the time to study. It is likely that your professors learned the hard way that asking more challenging questions results in too many students failing.

And I want to stand up for myself and protect my rights. I could let people boss me around more, which would lead to less conflict, but there would be less and less left of me (= my values, desires, interests...). It feels like too big a concession. It strongly goes against my sense of justice.
If I'm mostly just an object to act upon or instrument of those around me, I cannot be happy.

This reminds me of a scene in "Curb your Enthusiasm." The protagonist meets his female lover at a hotel. She owns a dry cleaning business. He wants to take advantage of this, and save a trip to the dry cleaners - so he attempts to give her his clothes that he wants to dry clean. For some bizarre reason, she declines. It makes absolutely No sense. She is already here, she is heading back to work soon, and if she takes his dry cleaning, she will save him the trip. They get into a heated argument, which she wins by saying "Do you want me to pick up your dirty laundry, or do you want to fuck? Which one is it going to be?" Defeated, he responds with "The second one..."

So you can either keep your values intact or you could have a fulfilling career and a prosperous life. You need to choose one, as realistically most people won't be able to achieve both.

I can handle a fair amount of pointless work, as long as I'm not completely turned into a 24/7 robot, which has been the case.

It might be the case that once one can prove one's reliability and trustworthiness by (being robot-like and) doing what one was told, one would get promoted and be given some limited autonomy. In other words, you are placing too much importance on the Bachelor's degree. Unfortunately, there is such a thing as "degree inflation." With so many people getting a Bachelor's degree, it is slowly becoming what a high school degree used to be. The bottom line is that you Can eventually get autonomy, but you need to do more to earn it. You need to get a graduate degree and/or get years of experience, before you can have that autonomy that yous seem to crave.

At the moment I'm seeing many freeloading and cheating students graduate, while I'm still here.

That IS messed up!!!!!

 

[walkthroughwalls]

This is horrible. As ridiculous, and as bad as it gets...

I agree. Even didactically it makes little sense, as studies show that students retain very little information this way. One way to get around this somewhat, is to take lots of notes to keep your brain active.

Once a fellow student and me tried to make these lectures more interesting by asking lots of questions. We got a lot of "Gee... I don't know, I'd have to come back that later", or -my personal favorite- "I suggest that you go to www.google.com and look for it there"

Thankfully, there are also a couple of professors who really know what they're talking about. They are typically also a bit 'on the outside' of the university and only teach a couple of (voluntary) classes.

Doing well on a memory test can be done by anyone who is willing to invest the time to study. It is likely that your professors learned the hard way that asking more challenging questions results in too many students failing.

You're probably right again. And failing students mean less income for the university.

This reminds me of a scene in "Curb your Enthusiasm." The protagonist meets his female lover at a hotel. She owns a dry cleaning business. He wants to take advantage of this, and save a trip to the dry cleaners - so he attempts to give her his clothes that he wants to dry clean. For some bizarre reason, she declines. It makes absolutely No sense. She is already here, she is heading back to work soon, and if she takes his dry cleaning, she will save him the trip. They get into a heated argument, which she wins by saying "Do you want me to pick up your dirty laundry, or do you want to fuck? Which one is it going to be?" Defeated, he responds with "The second one..."

So you can either keep your values intact or you could have a fulfilling career and a prosperous life. You need to choose one, as realistically most people won't be able to achieve both.

This may be exactly the core of my problem. I'm not so sure if it's this simple, however. My values are like my beliefs, in that I'm either convinced of something or I'm not. I can't just tell myself "I now choose to suspend my feelings of justice when it comes to unjustified authorities". Maybe the best I can achieve is "I strongly disagree with this, but if I don't cooperate, I'll be worse off in the future."

It might be the case that once one can prove one's reliability and trustworthiness by (being robot-like and) doing what one was told, one would get promoted and be given some limited autonomy. In other words, you are placing too much importance on the Bachelor's degree. Unfortunately, there is such a thing as "degree inflation." With so many people getting a Bachelor's degree, it is slowly becoming what a high school degree used to be. The bottom line is that you Can eventually get autonomy, but you need to do more to earn it. You need to get a graduate degree and/or get years of experience, before you can have that autonomy that yous seem to crave.

I have to give this a bit of thought. I could very well be that I'd just have to bite my tongue for a couple of more years to maybe land a PhD position at some point and be given some autonomy. That would still be preferable to join the workforce with only a BSc degree, which will most certainly be a 'taking and execute orders' kind of job.
It's a long road... I hope it's worth it...


Once again, thanks for the feedback. You're a lot more to the point and helpful than the counselors I once went to

 

[Bill Bauer]

I can't just tell myself "I now choose to suspend my feelings of justice when it comes to unjustified authorities". Maybe the best I can achieve is "I strongly disagree with this, but if I don't cooperate, I'll be worse off in the future."

I also have a lot to say, and I disapprove of policies like "group work". As a result, I have to tell myself: "I strongly disagree with this, but if I don't cooperate, I'll be worse off in the future."

or -my personal favorite- "I suggest that you go to www.google.com and look for it there"

Wow - the instructor really Doesn't care, and isn't even trying to pretend otherwise.

They are typically also a bit 'on the outside' of the university

Are they sessional instructors, or are they full-time tenured professors?

We got a lot of "Gee... I don't know, I'd have to come back that later"

Did the instructor who said that actually got back to you with the answer during the next class?

Once again, thanks for the feedback. You're a lot more to the point and helpful than the counselors I once went to

Thank you for your kind words.

 

[cspc]

I'm in Computer Science too. This description of the university reminds me my university too. I saw many of my cheating classmates graduate while I'm still here with my Bachelors. I still have to complete my thesis which delayed due to tinnitus. Find something that you really like in Computer Science. It's better to do an MSc first and then a Phd (you will get more advanced knowledge). And then decide your Phd subject. You can keep your values intact and have a fulfilling career and prosperous life (as a professor or as a freelance). As a TA or an employee your autonomy is limited (you can think of the values of your organization and your own as your own). If those conflict you can choose between the two or You can reframe the ideas of your organization in order to become your own too. I wish you patience, health and all the best.

 

[walkthroughwalls]

I also have a lot to say, and I disapprove of policies like "group work". As a result, I have to tell myself: "I strongly disagree with this, but if I don't cooperate, I'll be worse off in the future."

I think I'll try to adopt this for myself as well. Thanks.

Are they sessional instructors, or are they full-time tenured professors?

The terminology may be slightly different here, but these are long-term full-time employees.

Actually, there's professor in particular who I really like. He has reached retirement age now, but still teaches because he likes it. He's in a different building and the word is that he doesn't get along well with some of the other staff. He runs a very popular and heavy programming course that is better than any course in the regular curriculum. He tells students to call or email him if they have any questions, and he'll promptly reply too, as long as you've shown to have made an effort to solve the problem yourself.
Strangely enough, the credits you get for that course don't count towards the total number of credits you have to get for a bachelor's degree, not even as an optional course. I believe he used to run a 'skunkworks'-type department within the university, where employees could quite freely do research.

I'll be working as a teaching assistant for him in September, which should be interesting, even if only from a social point of view. I'm a bit surprised to have been offered this position, as some other professors have apparently gone out of their way not to hire me.

Sadly, he only needs teaching assistants for this one course, so two months later I'll have to try to find something else...

Did the instructor who said that actually got back to you with the answer during the next class?

No, it was just a delay-it-to-never tactic, and we all knew it...

In other cases, professors have actually got back to us after having looked into it. In which case it is a perfectly reasonable response, of course.

 

[glynis]

@walkthroughwalls ,
Keep going and achieve everything you want too until you graduate.
Both my sons have now graduated and both have epilepsy and one hearing impaired as had his ear bones out age 7.
The one who's just graduated will be going to do his Masters part time over 3 years and got a great job as a Architect .
love glynis

 

[walkthroughwalls]

I'm in Computer Science too. This description of the university reminds me my university too. I saw many of my cheating classmates graduate while I'm still here with my Bachelors. I still have to complete my thesis which delayed due to tinnitus. Find something that you really like in Computer Science. It's better to do an MSc first and then a Phd (you will get more advanced knowledge). And then decide your Phd subject. You can keep your values intact and have a fulfilling career and prosperous life (as a professor or as a freelance). As a TA or an employee your autonomy is limited (you can think of the values of your organization and your own as your own). If those conflict you can choose between the two or You can reframe the ideas of your organization in order to become your own too. I wish you patience, health and all the best.

What school or country are you in, if I may ask? And how do you deal with these kind of situations?

I have thought about changing schools many times, even moving abroad, but it seems that the there are the same problems everywhere. The university I go to actually does well on those international education-rankings, which really surprised me considering the mess that it is.

I was only studying for about 45 days when I got tinnitus. I was sitting in these lecture halls with screaming ears and the knowledge that my career as a professional musician was definitely over. Gradually, the cause of my depression went from that to how the university was organized. That caused a one year delay.
Looking only at this year, I took eight classes which has group assignments. I had to do the large majority to everything for five of them. I could have graduated this year, but at the beginning of the last term I was completely destroyed. I'm now finishing up one programming project which will get me some credits and I'll have to do my thesis and one more course next year.

It is indeed my plan to get a MSc first. I don't think you can get a PhD position otherwise, unless you can somehow show that you're a CS wizard.

Thank you for your advice. I wish you all the best as well.


edit: I feel that my hearing has become worse and my tinnitus has increased. Especially over the last 6 months due to the constant enormous amount of stress. Have you experienced the same?

 

[walkthroughwalls]

@walkthroughwalls ,
Keep going and achieve everything you want too until you graduate.
Both my sons have now graduated and both have epilepsy and one hearing impaired as had his ear bones out age 7.
The one who's just graduated will be going to do his Masters part time over 3 years and got a great job as a Architect .
love glynis

Congratulation on the graduations of both of your sons! Sounds like it hasn't been easy for them either. I'm glad they made it . Hopefully I can do the same one day.

And thank you for the kind words.

 

[cspc]

What school or country are you in, if I may ask? And how do you deal with these kind of situations?

I have thought about changing schools many times, even moving abroad, but it seems that the there are the same problems everywhere. The university I go to actually does well on those international education-rankings, which really surprised me considering the mess that it is.

I was only studying for about 45 days when I got tinnitus. I was sitting in these lecture halls with screaming ears and the knowledge that my career as a professional musician was definitely over. Gradually, the cause of my depression went from that to how the university was organized. That caused a one year delay.
Looking only at this year, I took eight classes which has group assignments. I had to do the large majority to everything for five of them. I could have graduated this year, but at the beginning of the last term I was completely destroyed. I'm now finishing up one programming project which will get me some credits and I'll have to do my thesis and one more course next year.

It is indeed my plan to get a MSc first. I don't think you can get a PhD position otherwise, unless you can somehow show that you're a CS wizard.

Thank you for your advice. I wish you all the best as well.


edit: I feel that my hearing has become worse and my tinnitus has increased. Especially over the last 6 months due to the constant enormous amount of stress. Have you experienced the same?

I'm in Europe too. The first year was really tough. I accepted how they are organized as is. I don't have any experience with depression. Could you choose other courses instead of the ones you took? I had trigeminal neuralgia and tmj on my right side after extracting all my wisdom teeth in 2016. It took 1.5 year to recover but I only paused my studies for a semester. I followed a no hard foods diet for my tmj (no pork chops, no pork, no candy, no sugar free gum, no nuts and I was ok until I chewed hard on a tiny bone that was in my burger, I had a light striking pain and I couldn't eat from that side).I chewed from the other side but I have accidentally bitten a chocolate cookie that had nuts in them without being aware that it contains any a week later. I started eating soft foods to recover. I had teeth pain until March. I am not aware if I have a broken molar or a rotten molar now.

I could have graduated this year but except from the above I've been hit with an acoustic trauma in February (officially diagnosed by the second ENT). 2nd ENT prescribed me Brainil for 3 months and Nootropil highest dose possible for 7 days. Nootropil caused me sleeplessness ( 4 hours per night) and a loud roaring in my right ear. After Nootropil I experienced hydrops (right ear) and I continue to experience it (now in the left ear) (I don't have an official diagnosis for this but I have episodes with low frequency ringing and hearing loss, the hearing usually comes back to normal but after these episodes but sometimes I'm left with high frequency ringing that's louder than before and hearing loss in high frequencies. I have weird tinnitus and hearing loss episodes with soy, aspartame, caffeine, lactose, milk proteins, grains, perfumes, propylene glycol, alcohol, sugar, salt, cigarette second hand smoke).

The first was 5db across all frequencies except 10db at 4KHz in one ear the other was 5db. The last one is 10db across all frequencies in one ear and 10db across all frequencies in the other except 15db in 125Hz, 250Hz, 500Hz and 1KHz. I live in a noisy area with construction pavement drills, house demolishing, bulldozers. I have low ferritin, low shbg, pcos, also vitamin d insufficient, prediabetes, high inflammation markers.

Last month I added more foods rich in iron and cysteine in my diet but I haven't noticed any improvement for my ears or for my health. I was prescribed beta synto to improve the inner ear blood circulation by the 3rd ent (May). I noticed an improvement in the weird episodes and my hearing was back but I stopped taking them because they caused my blurry vision and messed up with my sleep. I was prescribed two antibiotics for the past 2 weeks for otitis and tonsillitis (Augumentin and Zinnat). I'm currently eating probiotics and drinking lots of water to balance the sodium from the antibiotics. The 4th ENT found an abnormal tympanogram (type B) and suggested that its a problem with my nose but also told me to try betaserc. I read it has aspartame in it and I'm a bit reluctant. I got crazy spikes from chewing gum or drinking soft drinks in the past months so I discontinued them. I found that eating at regular times and drinking water throughout the day helps. I'm on a low sodium diet. I'm not stressed but antibiotics messed up with my sleep (5 - 6 hours a night) due to the sodium they have in them especially Zinnat. Sleeping less and being full of sodium due to them isn't good. I feel I have my tinnitus increased and my hearing is worse but it's because of sleeping less than 7 hours and due to the sodium overload I had. I've been following a low sodium diet most of my life because I never liked sodium I have been putting lemon on my foods instead. I haven't known that I was eating a high sodium diet in the past 8 months (my grandma was putting extra salt in the foods to make them tasty that's what she said and I wasn't putting lemon on my portion because of the teeth sensitivity I had after accidentally chewing on hard foods). It's weird but I'm sleeping better when I'm on my period. Sorry for the long post.