Unless your tinnitus is trivial, you cannot ignore it?

[Mahdi]

the whole point that I am told is to ignore the T some how.

Unless your tinnitus is trivial, you cannot ignore it.

 

[Markku]

Unless your tinnitus is trivial, you cannot ignore it.

When the negative reaction to tinnitus stops, things tend to improve considerably.

I would say that the vast majority of tinnitus sufferers, even those describing their tinnitus as jet engine loud, will eventually learn to "ignore" it in a way that they can continue their lives, not constantly paying attention to the noise nor being severely bothered by it 24/7.

Will many hear their tinnitus if they pay attention to it? Sure.
Will many experience their tinnitus being worse if they are having bouts of stress or anxiety? Yep.
But will most reaction to it become more or less neutral after a while and have long periods where they don't actively think about it? Absolutely.

I think your mood icon of "Cynical" describes your above comment pretty well.

>99% of chronic tinnitus sufferers will get better. The key is habituation and that will usually happen within 2 years of onset. One may hear the noise whenever they listen to it, but at a certain point tinnitus will no longer rule their lives.

In the beginning, tinnitus can be the only thing you think about. If it consumes every waking moment of your life, then you need to try and break that cycle. Whatever it takes. Self-pity doesn't work. Engage yourself in tasks that take your mind off tinnitus. It might be a new hobby, work, or the like. Use sound enrichment (preferably the way Jastreboff suggests).

If that has failed in your case, have you looked into therapy? Full-blown TRT with the therapy sessions may prove beneficial. Maybe antidepressants? (I think doctors prescribe them way too easily, but for some they've been the miracle needed).

I'm not saying you don't have your reasons for being negative & hopeless, and I'm not able to "take a peek" and listen to your tinnitus and sense the feelings you feel.

I just think that if at all possible, you should try your everything to return to work which in turn would help broaden your horizons. If you can't get a job, then take part in some activities that help take your mind off tinnitus. Some type of regular team sports maybe? Football or whatever you like.

This was my 2 cents, and I very much hope that you will eventually conquer your tinnitus and be able to to put it in its cage where it belongs.

 

[Mahdi]

I think your mood icon of "Cynical" describes your above comment pretty well.

I just have a cynical view of human nature. Nothing more. You feel fine maybe your tinnitus is trivial, maybe your tinnitus does not impede you in every aspect of life, maybe you're so well-off that you don't have to bother to think about how to make ends meet, maybe in your country you don't have to be overworked and underpaid, maybe you live in a country where things done based on good faith and logic not based on relations and connections, maybe you don't feel like being victimized, maybe you haven't had it yet.... MARKKU!
Yeah, unless you are well-off and you don't have to agonize about every difficult situation that tinnitus causes, you'll never be able to overcome your stress, anxiety, depression and the bad feeling that TINNITUS makes you suffer with. So, habituation sounds to me easier said than done.
MGSOS

 

[erik]

Mahdi, I don't know your life situation nor can I understand how it is for you. For that matter, I don't know Markku's either and neither do you.

But what I do know about Markku is that he spends his time managing this site while trying to help around here who are suffering with T. Markku is doing an excellent job of it. I do know much of what you talked about where tinnitus impedes every aspect of your life with anxiety, stress, depression and worse. It was that way for me most of 2012. The other thing I know about habitation is that it is not something that you do. It is not something that you seek out. And in most cases it is not something you can control. It just happens. When the time is right, it just happens. Your thinking changes, your body adapts (believe it or not) and things get better. The tinnitus is not gone, but your negative reaction is.

 

[Mahdi]

Simply, you guys don't understand my case. There's no habituation to such a torture as 24/7/12/ever loud ringing and screeching inside your head. You'd better think of tinnitus out of the box of it's euphemistic definition. I've suffered more than 12 years and in first some years I could manage my life without letting anybody find out about my terrible problem. But for a few years it's been unbearable as hyperacusis came out of nowhere to add salt to the injury. Why? because I ran out of energy and patience. Bearing tinnitus and hyperacusis exacts a lot of energy, Doesn't it? When you use up your energy to grin and bear this situation for long, one day will come along when you can't spend as much energy as you could in the past. Why? because you've already spent it to a large extent and apparently to no avail. Please do not compare a long-time sufferer with short-time ones as tinnitus stealthily and gradually gets on your nerves by causing you distraction, disquiet, sleeplessness, helplessness, joblessness, pennilessness, and hopelessness.... So, you now know my painful experience. Watching and keeping your stresses and the level of anxiety down and in check, find the most appropriate treatment and clean forget about the cure in the near future.
Will GOD S.O.S. !?

 

[Markku]

As long as you victimize yourself, Mahdi, you are going to have a hard time feeling better and getting better.

You can always blame the external circumstances.

Please do not compare a long-time sufferer with short-time ones as tinnitus stealthily and gradually gets on your nerves by causing you distraction, disquiet, sleeplessness, helplessness, joblessness, pennilessness, and hopelessness....

This is usually the other way around. At first, it's harder, and then gets easier after habituation kicks in.

Yeah, unless you are well-off and you don't have to agonize about every difficult situation that tinnitus causes, you'll never be able to overcome your stress, anxiety, depression and the bad feeling that TINNITUS makes you suffer with.

I don't agree with this. There are plenty of poor people who have tinnitus and cope very well, and have habituated.
Most of us aren't well-off in the sense that we could just quit our day jobs because of tinnitus and make our ends meet thereafter without worry.

I just *think* that you would be able to live a more fulfilling life if you accepted your condition, and didn't give it the power it currently has over you. You may think it's easier said than done, or even impossible, and that's your prerogative. I'm not suggesting it wouldn't take time & effort, but as long as you can't find one inch of positivity in your life, it'll be even harder to achieve.

I think I (& @erik, thanks!) gave some valid suggestions in my previous message, but you didn't comment on them (therapy, trt, antidepressants, hobbies, work, whatever you used to find pleasure in before tinnitus).

I sincerely hope you will come out the other end triumphant.


PS. I moved the off-topic messages out from the previous thread and created this one.

 

[Mahdi]

I'm not suggesting it wouldn't take time & effort, but as long as you can't find one inch of positivity in your life, it'll be even harder to achieve.

Markku!
It's really hard to relate to others. Does TRT take just time and effort? There's no TRT in Iran. Secondly, if there were any specialized places for that, who would cover the expenses of such a long and costly so-called tinnitus treatment?
As for antidepressants, I had gone through such treatmets before but to no avail. However, I'll go for it again. I need to find a doctor who really understands tinnitus and is experienced in treating such sufferers as me. I no longer want to see any doctors who are illiterate in this regard and treat patients dismissively.
Another point is you really don't read my comments carefully. I'm a 12 yrs sufferer, but I got fed up with my condition from 6 yrs ago when I got to understand that nobody out there is able to help me with this damn thing.
I changed my mood so that you can no longer say implicitly that I am a looser. Please, let go of my cynical view of human nature because I had had that view even before being presented with the gift of tinnitus which shed extra light on different aspects of life and helped me understand the essence of it better. Tinnitus is dreadful for me but I can't put in the words how much it helped open my eyes to many things which might be intangible to others who are healthy and wealthy.
Sorry if you don't understand my English.
Thanks,

 

[Markku]

Very well.

I did not mean to offend you. My intention was to help. You are right, it is not always easy to relate to someone else's condition.

I am sorry for not being of any help to you.

All the best and take care,
Markku

 

[Robert Fahey]

Tinnitus is a cancer that becomes benign if you believe it's benign, and malignant if you believe it's malignant. Its grip on you is entirely a product of your attitude toward the world overall. If you feel embattled by the world, then this is the bayonet stabbing you. But if you're OK with the world, it's just another imperfection among many.

 

[Laurel]

I just wanted to thank you for this thread. I've only introduced myself on the forum and not actively participated because I've found in general that the more I think about and focus on tinnitus, the more intolerable I find it. I'm only 2 months into being fully aware of my tinnitus after 15 years of sublimating it, so I look forward to habituating to it again. Right now, today, it's louder than loud, really piercing, but I'm pressing on and trying to ignore it because I can't let it bring me down. What's interesting about the emergence of my tinnitus is that it arrived at a time in my life when, after years of being really cynical and depressed and angry about life, I awoke one morning with a new brain, a happy brain. It's weird. I used to be suspicious of happiness, doubted its existence, and then, about 2 years ago, I started to slowly have more and more days of inexplicable good moods and acceptance of events and experiences that previously would've irritated, agitated, angered or depressed me. I don't know what changed in my brain, but I'm happy now all the time, even now, with this damned tinnitus shrieking away.

Markuu and Erik, thanks so much for your words here. I was going to come out to the forum today and ask how many of the members feel they've habituated to their tinnitus, how long it took for habituation, and additionally, if any or all of you actively use some sort of fairly constant sound masking or treatment as distraction, and how many members wear hearing aids.

I did visit an audiologist trained, to some degree, in tinnitus treatment a week ago yesterday, and she presented 2 options, the Neuromonics device and the Widex Zen device. I responded positively to the fractal tones of the Zen device and need hearing aids anyway, so after a week of more bad tinnitus days than good, I believe I'm going to take the plunge. I can test drive the Zen for a month before committing to it.

Where can I start a thread regarding habituation and sound masking/generating? I'm also interested to know how many of you wear hearing aids and if you found them of help in terms of your overall habituation.

Again, thanks for the positivity here, guys. I'm not letting my T bring me down.

 

[mick]

Attitude can make a great difference, but I sincerely doubt that even the most upbeat, accepting-of-their-T person would ever pass up the opportunity to return to their pre-T state. T is survivable. It is, nonetheless, a hindrance to fulfillment, therefore I would not go so far as to say it is benign. It is worthy of as much energy from science, medicine, society, etc. to alleviate it as any other disabling ailment.

I just read an article in AARP today about a doctor who talked about a patient of hers that helped transform her into a "healer" rather than just a doctor. The patient had tongue cancer, and was very concerned about how chemotherapy would affect her ability to have children. The doctor's first response was basically, let's not worry about that now. Let's just focus on keeping you alive. To the patient, however, having a family was very important to her - maybe more important than her own life by itself. The patient was adamant about taking all steps to preserve her ability to have children, and according to this doctor's account, brought about great changes in how various medical experts communicate with each other. Supposedly, the concept of worrying about preserving a cancer patient's fertility had never been of any importance to doctors before (a very strange view in my opinion). The story was short on detail of what was actually done different to help preserve this patients fertility, but the story had a happy ending. The patient is now healthy, married,and the mother of several (5 I think) kids. Thedocotr saw this patient as the catalyst thato changed her view of how to be a healer. She supposedly learned to listen to patients (what a novel concept!), to communicate with other experts (another great innovation!), and challenge herself to do more (wow!). Sorry for the sarcasm. I do applaud this doctor for rising to the occasion, but should that not be the norm anytime you are dealing with human suffering?

 

[Louise]

Attitude can make a great difference, but I sincerely doubt that even the most upbeat, accepting-of-their-T person would ever pass up the opportunity to return to their pre-T state. T is survivable. It is, nonetheless, a hindrance to fulfillment, therefore I would not go so far as to say it is benign. It is worthy of as much energy from science, medicine, society, etc. to alleviate it as any other disabling ailment.

I just read an article in AARP today about a doctor who talked about a patient of hers that helped transform her into a "healer" rather than just a doctor. The patient had tongue cancer, and was very concerned about how chemotherapy would affect her ability to have children. The doctor's first response was basically, let's not worry about that now. Let's just focus on keeping you alive. To the patient, however, having a family was very important to her - maybe more important than her own life by itself. The patient was adamant about taking all steps to preserve her ability to have children, and according to this doctor's account, brought about great changes in how various medical experts communicate with each other. Supposedly, the concept of worrying about preserving a cancer patient's fertility had never been of any importance to doctors before (a very strange view in my opinion). The story was short on detail of what was actually done different to help preserve this patients fertility, but the story had a happy ending. The patient is now healthy, married,and the mother of several (5 I think) kids. Thedocotr saw this patient as the catalyst thato changed her view of how to be a healer. She supposedly learned to listen to patients (what a novel concept!), to communicate with other experts (another great innovation!), and challenge herself to do more (wow!). Sorry for the sarcasm. I do applaud this doctor for rising to the occasion, but should that not be the norm anytime you are dealing with human suffering?

Just a minute here Mick.... someone's thwarted desire to parent children is in no way the same as someone's suffering from a persistent horrendous noise in their head. We don't need a subtle understanding from the medics here, any right-minded person would understand a horrible noise in their ears 24/7 is horrendous and much worse a torment than not being able to conceive their own offspring. We need these scientists in fact to stop wasting their time on developing means to populate an over-populated world and start putting their minds to ending the suffering of people who are tortured without a possibility of an end to that torture. They need to understand the torture, strain and fight that is tinnitus.

 

[Paul D]

Yeah, unless you are well-off and you don't have to agonize about every difficult situation that tinnitus causes, you'll never be able to overcome your stress, anxiety, depression and the bad feeling that TINNITUS makes you suffer with.

I am neither well-off nor immune from agonizing about every difficult situation that tinnitus causes, yet I refuse to allow my Tinnitus to fully take control of my life, preventing me from overcoming the stress, anxiety, depression and bad feeling it attempts to inflict on a daily basis. I have had zero money other than for basic necessities and occasional entertainment, to devote to any form of treatment for the condition, and up until ten days ago, had no health insurance whatsoever for the last six years. It's a decision, pure and simple. There will be good days and horrible days, where Tinnitus tries to creep into every aspect of my life. I choose to focus on the good days, with casual acceptance of the bad ones - "T, you are not in control."

 

[Mahdi]

I am neither well-off nor immune from agonizing about every difficult situation that tinnitus causes, yet I refuse to allow my Tinnitus to fully take control of my life, preventing me from overcoming the stress, anxiety, depression and bad feeling it attempts to inflict on a daily basis. I have had zero money other than for basic necessities and occasional entertainment, to devote to any form of treatment for the condition, and up until ten days ago, had no health insurance whatsoever for the last six years. It's a decision, pure and simple. There will be good days and horrible days, where Tinnitus tries to creep into every aspect of my life. I choose to focus on the good days, with casual acceptance of the bad ones - "T, you are not in control."

I'm happy for you. Neither Tinnituses nor Tinnitus Sufferers' conditions are all the same. How can I decide to accept it for good and not agonize when my Tinnitus goes up by sounds, foods, drugs, hunger, thirst, stresses even thoughts on hourly basis. I'm not able to take a nap or go to sleep at will. Besides, I've suffered 9 years more than you. In 2001 or 2002 or even 2003 I never thought Tinnitus would exact such a heavy toll in a decade. I don't believe in the effectiveness of any treatments any longer. Moreover, who has such huge amounts of money to burn for so-called Tinnitus Treatments? A miracle can and may save my sanity.
Good luck everyone!

 

[mick]

@Louise

Just to clarify my point - I was only saying that attitude can make a great difference, and turned that around pointing out that a doctor's attitude can make a huge difference for patients. I was illustrating how minor changes in attitude (listening to patients, talking to other professionals, challenging oneself to not accept the status quo - all very basic common sense stuff - all things that any doctor can do) made a big difference in how a patient was treated. What I left unsaid but hope everyone sensed, was that if doctors would change their attitude towards patients with T, it would probably be a big help for the patients. Lastly, in a less direct way I was also in a way pointing out how all of us are in essence discriminated against because of doctors attitude towards tinnitus patients. More about patient discrimination in the following paragraphs.

There was a fairly big harangue at Yale University earlier this year where an older female professor who was big into quilting injured her hand. She went to to the emergency room at a hospital that evidently was associated with Yale. She was having her hand stitched up when the conversation with the doctor doing the stitching turned to her occupation. When the doctor learned the patient was a professor at Yale, suddenly everything changed. It was no longer adequate to just stitch her wound depite the fact that she had already expressed concern about possibly losing her ability to continue her favority hobby of quilting. Suddenly, they called in a hand surgeon and scheduled her for microsurgery to address the problem. When she was just Jane Schmoe in eyes of the hospital staff it was sufficient to just stitch her up. Once they found out she was an esteemed professor at Yale, the standard of care changed. This professor was evidently embarrassed as well as somewhat outraged by the flagrant discrimination. She was the one who brought the story to the attention of news agencies. She couldn't believe that a few words about her occupation could change the way one was cared for.

A related couple of stories that I overheard at my daughter's softball game ... I overheard a converstion between 2 women who had "connections" in the medical world talking about how it made a difference. One women's brother was chief of surgery at a local hospital and she had on more than one occassion found how much better she and her children were treated at the ER once it became known who her brother was. On one occassion she was waiting in the ER a long time and so called her brother saying how insane it was that she was waiting with whatever the emergancy issue was for one of her kids. A few minutes after she called, they were no longer waiting.

The other women at the softball game recounted a similar story. Her father was a doctor, and when ever they had to go to the ER her dad would always take them. She said they were always treated wonderfully. She did not know that not everyone got treated that way until she had kids of her own and moved away. Then she was treated like everyone else, and it was not the kind of treatment she got as a child.

For the record, regarding whether having one's hopes for a family dashed is or is not worse than tinnitus, I can only say my values are such that if I were given the choice of 1) no T and no children, or 2) having T and having children, I would choose the latter. I'm not at all saying that T is trivial. I'm only saying that for me, children are a tremendous blessing, and a source of strength for pressing on despite having to deal with diffficult medical issues.

 

[Paul D]

As a good friend of mine would say, "ya know, Paul, it's always about who you know." Or at other times of struggle, from various sources, "so life ain't fair...get over it."

 

[mick]

Fairness, which grows out of empathy, is indeed a concoction of higher life forms. In a manner of speaking, the universe is agnostic towards fairness. There is evidence of empathy, and therefore a sense of fairness, amongst all of the more intelligent animals in the world, but only humans have the intellectual capacity to enforce fairness to a high degree.