I know, I'm an idiot, I'm fucking stupid. I just never realized how retarded I truly was until I chose to shoot a .44 magnum without ear plugs. I thought I would be fine because I've endured shotgun blasts and unloading an AK-47, but I suppose I ran my luck short.
I've recovered from many things, but it's been days and I don't see this going away. I don't need to see a doctor to know what I've done to myself, the noise is the high frequency kind, it doesn't stop. It's only in my right ear, my left experienced no damage at all, but my right, I've had to rebalance my headphones 20 points to be equal to the other so I know how much I've lost. It also has begun to fluctuate between to tones but they're still high pitched. It gets piercing when lying in bed, and god forbid that I lay on my right ear.
I've already cried repeatedly, eyed up my gun considering suicide, at the moment I'm on one of those "good days" you guys talk about. In the last couple days I read plenty of material, watched videos, found myself repeatedly being sent here, so I might as well join because the other online community I sought comfort from wasn't very reliable except a few people who I believe are users here anyway.
I find myself getting migraines more, but I distract myself with my A/C, I watch youtube videos I've relied on for background noise before, and I listen to music in bed such as
but I don't recommend every song.
It's definitely not as bad as what others have, I've read many of your stories for comfort and I know I'm practically in the kiddie pool by comparison, but still, it's so new to me, and I'm learning how to deal with it.
Oh well, as someone said, life is about dealing with it and moving forward with what we have. You can belittle, I've made a terrible mistake, I deserve this, but my friends and family don't deserve to see me blow my head off because I've already put them through so much. When I'm with them I don't hear it at all, even with noise cancelling headphones and we play online, I seem to forget all about it. I don't want to hurt them anymore.
I'm glad a community like this exists, even though I brought this upon myself when many of you didn't have a choice, so I know I'm not going to be on the same level.
I've recovered from many things, but it's been days and I don't see this going away. I don't need to see a doctor to know what I've done to myself, the noise is the high frequency kind, it doesn't stop. It's only in my right ear, my left experienced no damage at all, but my right, I've had to rebalance my headphones 20 points to be equal to the other so I know how much I've lost. It also has begun to fluctuate between to tones but they're still high pitched. It gets piercing when lying in bed, and god forbid that I lay on my right ear.
I've already cried repeatedly, eyed up my gun considering suicide, at the moment I'm on one of those "good days" you guys talk about. In the last couple days I read plenty of material, watched videos, found myself repeatedly being sent here, so I might as well join because the other online community I sought comfort from wasn't very reliable except a few people who I believe are users here anyway.
I find myself getting migraines more, but I distract myself with my A/C, I watch youtube videos I've relied on for background noise before, and I listen to music in bed such as
but I don't recommend every song.
It's definitely not as bad as what others have, I've read many of your stories for comfort and I know I'm practically in the kiddie pool by comparison, but still, it's so new to me, and I'm learning how to deal with it.
Oh well, as someone said, life is about dealing with it and moving forward with what we have. You can belittle, I've made a terrible mistake, I deserve this, but my friends and family don't deserve to see me blow my head off because I've already put them through so much. When I'm with them I don't hear it at all, even with noise cancelling headphones and we play online, I seem to forget all about it. I don't want to hurt them anymore.
I'm glad a community like this exists, even though I brought this upon myself when many of you didn't have a choice, so I know I'm not going to be on the same level.