Variations :(

[Amelia]

Why can't this bloody T stay the same?

I've had about 3 brilliant days - it's been there but it has hardly worried me, I've been positive, not stressed about it but then last night it came back incredibly loud and with a new sound in there - I've never heard it so loud, it was claustrophobic. Along with my high pitched sound, this one was a low whiring sound - kind of like a fan noise I suppose.

I'd been away for the afternoon and got home late so I'm not sure if it was that I was very tired or with the driving the car noises stirred it up but it really scared me I felt more out of control than ever.

I could deal with this if I knew it wouldn't get louder or worse but last night has really rattled me. If a simple day out can do that how can I believe that things will be ok?

I'm sorry for the negative post. I just feel back at square one again

 

[Sybs]

Oh poor you! I know what you mean about it varying so much. I wish it could just gradually get better over a period of time rather than seemingly get better then flare up for no apparent reason - it really takes you off guard doesn't it! Do you know what has caused yours? If it is fluid in the ears then I think it would make sense for it to vary. Have you had a doc check your ears out for fluid? It may develop a pattern like mine did where you have 3 really good days then 1 bad day, etc, and the bad days space out. Keep a diary. Try to stay positive - I know it's hard. God bless x

 

[Riikka]

Do you still hear that new sound or has it disappeared now? I also hear extra sounds once in a while but the always disappear after a short period of time. Usually those sounds appear when I'm feeling very tired or stressed.

I also have a feeling that I can't really influence the volume of my T, except of course be avoiding to much noise and having enough sleep. Some days I just wake up and it feels more noisy. But we have to try to not let it influence the way we feel too much.

After noisy days there will again come days when the T sounds more quiet. And anyway we shouldn't worry that the T will get permanently worse. It might not worsen at all and most probably by time you will get used to it better, so don't waste time worrying about it.

 

[Amelia]

@Sybs - I don't think its fluid unfortunately. I do have sinus issues but I don't feel like its fluid related.

It was odd because we dropped my sister off after dinner and while I could hear my T then a little louder it was only the usual sound, but by the time I got home (2 hour drive) it was really intrusive to the point that I'm sure I almost had a panic attack. The new noise had also joined in my then.

@Riikka - it's quietness down some this morning but I could still hear the low buzz a little this morning. I've also had a higher pitch in my left ear intermittently this morning.

I don't think I've been extra stressed - in face is had an appt with my herbalist earlier in the day and was feeling very positive.

Can tiredness really make T change that much?

 

[Riikka]

For me my T always gets more noisy towards the evenings. And if I'm feeling very tired, I can get those extra tones. Then I realize I should rest more.

But sometimes T also seems to have a mind of its own. Once I was on a holiday, I had a long flight and spent the entire day outside in a noisy city. I expected my T to be really loud, but it actually wasn't. It was so quiet I was even able to sleep with earplugs. Then on the other hand I have days when I had a good sleep, I'm not feeling stressed and my T is very noisy right from when I wake up in the morning.

 

[jmccombs82]

I feel like my ringing has changed dramatically since it started. It is in my left ear and sometimes it aches. I am not sure if anyone else experiences this. I put a warm cloth on it to alleviate the pressure. I had a horrible break down a few days ago and cried for about 20 mintues. The fluctuation of the ringing is difficult to become accustomed to. I do notice that when I go for a walk it almost disappears completely.

There are lots of people that say this does not go away. I am still pretty shaken up my the start of mine. I have found that I am not as social. It is hard to look at others having a good time when I feel so unstable internally. I know they say to "not notice it" but in these new stages I don't know what else to do. From what I read it sounds like the sound can fluctuate and change for anyone. Is that true? Yesterday, for example, it was really low. I am not sure if it was because I was distracted or if it was just having a good day.

My main concern now is finding a doctor that actually understands the fear that accompanies this sound. Not feeling validated is one of the most difficult things in the adjustment period I think.

They say it gets better but I don't know what "better" means. Is is that you stop listening to it or it decreases and stabilizes? I wish I could fast forward time and see where I am at in six months.

 

[Sean]

I had similar experience last night .Instead of ringing or whooshing sounds I could literally hear sounds of bats !it was scared and for the first time I woke up because of T.
My iPhone battery had died .so white noise app was turned off .i reminded my self "this shall pass " and this morning it did .its back to whooshing sound .

 

[LadyDi]

Hang in there, Amelia. I know, it can be so hard. My tinnitus varies hugely from day to day, literally sometimes from hour to hour. I can become very, very high-pitched which, as you mentioned, is enough to bring on a panic attack. The real problem for me with the variability is it reinforces that terrible feeling of having no control. I work hard, with my therapist, on self-statements that help me understand I indeed have no control but that the bad days will pass and the good ones return. Easier said than done, though.

I know some things do reinforce my T: high stress, changes in barometric pressure, lack of sleep, being in a very noisy restaurant. Other times, its a mystery. It is good to keep a diary -- except then that makes you hyper-aware of your tinnitus, which then makes it hard to be ignore it. Sigh. No easy answers. I have given up keeping a daily log of my tinnitus issues because it just made me focus on it all the more.

One thing I do now is try to head noises I know will bother my T off at the pass. I pop in my custom-molded ear plugs right before I walk into ANY restaurant. I don't wait to see if the noise level will be too much, then add the plugs later. Maybe the road noise of the car bothered you? You might want to try plugs for your next long road trip. You do need to be careful about overdoing it, though; too much time with ear plugs in makes you hyper-sensitive to noise.

I also fire up my sound generator (noise app on my iPhone, used either with head phones or a portable speaker) as soon as the noise change starts generating those anxiety twitches. I carry these four things -- phone, ear phones, portable speaker, ear plugs -- with me everywhere I go.

As for the weird sounds: I do find that mine usually fade pretty quickly. It's the volume and the pitch that is all over the map.

We are here for you. Good luck. It does get easier... I have had tinnitus a while longer than you, not a lot. And I find I forget on bad days that I still am SO much better than I was six months ago.

 

[NeoM]

I don't like how tricky it is. The quite days give you hope for improvement and it going away, but when it gets louder it's like all that hope is gone.

 

[Cher69]

I have had a louder than normal 2 days - for no reason what so ever !! I lost my high tone in my left ear for a while and got a buzzy thing going on a week or so ago that stopped then tone back and louder - hearing it over the TV which is unusual for me.

I think T reacts to noise around us - I now do not sleep with any masking noise - I have to go to sleep with something playing to distract me - I use relaxation apps, when they turn off that's it no other noise - so if I wake and my T starts annoying me I switch back on the relax app - which is talking rather than white noise or nature sounds etc. If I have a bad which I still do then I resort to all sorts of noises to try and distract and calm me !

I really do think that the masking noise I did use annoyed my T somehow - talking apps work better for me so maybe Amelia the driving and noise of the engine just played on your T and ears a bit hence you heard new noises, louder that then upset you and understandable focused onto them.

Try and remember those good days - there are some more of those on the way - keep ya chin up hun your doing great and its small steps at a time with a few hic-ups along the way - we are all so in this together and experience the same sort of stuff - good to know at times - sending you hugs Cher x

 

[Amelia]

@LadyDi - you hit the nail in the head - it's the feeling of no control that gets me. So many other disorders have standard treatment - I could control those because id have a plan, with with T it's so uncontrollable. I really struggle with that.

You guys really have no idea how much it means to me that you have all taken the time to reply. Having others that understand is such a blessing

 

[AnneG]

Hang in there sister! I know how you feel. T is such a B*tch y'know? Why can't it stay at just one Noise, One Volume!? I mean it changes and all that which makes it harder for us! Its crazy, The new sound i hear (Static, like white noise from a radio without a station on) Is still here, 3rd day now i think. But Screw that noise, We gotta live our life! Hahaha at least that's what I'm doing. I'm just really so tired of obsessing over it, Tired of worrying about what might happen, like if it might get worst on the next morning, The next day, the next hour. Because once those thoughts gets in. It'll start eating me alive! So i try no to and as soon as those thoughts gets in i turn on music and dance, and sing. like literally. We just gotta have fun you know? and worry about it when its actually there. Just like when my T went away, As much as possible i tried to stay away from thoughts like "What if it comes back?" Because if that happen's I'll end up worried and not enjoy those moments of silence! And when it came back, That's when i just faced it again. And to be honest, I think I'm doing well. So please hang on Amelia, you are gonna be ok, WE are gonna be ok!

xoxo Anne