Wedding — Scared It Sets Me Back or Worsens My Tinnitus

[Ed209]

All of my examples involved people being exposed to loud music. Of course if the original poster can avoid being around loud music than she ought to be ok provided she wears earplugs and asks the other guests to not yell or clap their hands too loudly, especially if they are sitting close to her.

The fear of there being music is no reason to miss the whole event if she doesn't want to. That's the point. She can leave if the music is too loud, or use ear protection if she's comfortable to stay. It's about mitigating risk; not avoiding social events altogether.

 

[Bill Bauer]

She can leave if the music is too loud,

At that time, it might be too late.

 

[Ed209]

At that time, it might be too late.

You can go after the meal. You don't need to stay for any of the music if it's really a concern for the OP. If she doesn't feel up to it then that's fine, but I think your approach is a bit overkill. I think it puts people into a state of anxiety.

 

[JurgenG]

At that time, it might be too late.

You spread your fear mongering like the next prophet. And you always focus on the sound level.
You do know duration is equally important as the decibels of a certain sound?
For instance 7 seconds of 100 dB is worse than 3 seconds of 103 dB.

But I guess the approach of staying under 50 dB like you are doing is super safe.
Don't come asking why you are developing hyperaccusis.
And I know, because that's exactly what happened to me.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I think it puts people into a state of anxiety.

It is good to be scared of scary things...

 

[Bill Bauer]

You do know duration is equally important as the decibels of a certain sound?

On January 22, 2017 it took a fraction of a second to give me an acoustic trauma and this T that has already lasted for over 13 months.

But I guess the approach of staying under 50 dB like you are doing is super safe.

It is also one of only a few things one can do that might promote healing.

Don't come asking why you are developing hyperaccusis.
And I know, because that's exactly what happened to me.

When I had adopted this policy, I had severe huperacusis. It is now gone. In addition to protecting my ears, I also made sure to do things like watching TV with the volume set to moderate.

 

[glynis]

@Amv,
Sorry your post got a bit of a debate going with members.
Like I said " ring the venue up to see if their setting for the wedding would be suitable for you having a quiet area if needed and take plugs.
Love glynis x

 

[TuneOut]

The social pressure

Free yourself from this prison.

 

[Tinker Bell]

I had never been to a wedding, but it is my understanding that there is music.

The author specifically asked for advice from members who have attended weddings. Why would you post on this thread if you have never been to a wedding?

I think Amv is more than capable of using the TT search function to look for anecdotal information from members who have been to weddings. In fact, if the author did they would see a mix of posts from members who had positive and negative experiences.

Wedding receptions vary. I have been to a quiet reception where music was only audible on the dance floor, and I have been to one where I sat on a lovely patio outside to avoid the music. Actually I have lost track of how many weddings I have (pre-tinnitus) attended, but I do know that no two weddings were identical. If I had never been to a wedding, I would be wrong to assume they're all the same volume level.

@glynis offered great advice regarding calling the venue.

@Amv I think your idea of attending the ceremony and dinner are good. Bring along earplugs, check out the music and make your decision then. But do not worry about it in advance. Anxiety is a sure way to irritate tinnitus.

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

I got married a few months ago.

I was very scared and anxious about it making my tinnitus worse. We had hired a DJ. I did not use earplugs. I danced on the dance floor with loud music (I couldn't resist Electric Feel by MGMT). I got buzzed with booze and even a little pot.

And... I'm fine. My tinnitus didn't get worse.

I took a few breaks from dancing to mingle.

But otherwise I had a blast and it was the happiest time of my life.

Might it get worse? Maybe. Use plugs. There are invisible ones for sale on amazon. But my personal experience? I was totally fine. My tinnitus is the exact same as it was last year. I would it rather not be there. But it didn't hold me back.

 

[glynis]

My plugs are clear and fit flat to your ear...
No problem wearing them in public.
Love glynis x

 

[JurgenG]

I actually went to two weddings when my T was higher, both times I used premolds.
Last time my axiety had risen so I used a thin peltor on the dance floor. (double protected)

I'd rather not use peltors, because I don't like to explain why I use them. But in the end it didn't matter and I had a great time.
It actually turned into a small gag where I just went to act like I was the dj.

I try to not care what other people might think. And most people are actually very understanding.

 

[Amv]

Hello All !! I just can say THANKS to all of you, to take the time to read and make your point of view. I think all of them are really great opinions and suggestions! You can't imagine how valuable and comforting is that all of you have responded this message, we are not alone What is clear as @fishbone said is to take the decision that feels better with oneself and free from the social pressure.

For all of you who have attended a wedding, I would be sitted in the same table as the parents of the person whom is getting married. Anyone which has attended a wedding knows if the family table is very near to the Music ?

Additionally, any other users with experience on weddings are welcome to join the debate

Thank you very much !

 

[Tinker Bell]

Hello All !! I just can say THANKS to all of you, to take the time to read and make your point of view. I think all of them are really great opinions and suggestions! You can't imagine how valuable and comforting is that all of you have responded this message, we are not alone What is clear as @fishbone said is to take the decision that feels better with oneself and free from the social pressure.

For all of you who have attended a wedding, I would be sitted in the same table as the parents of the person whom is getting married. Anyone which has attended a wedding knows if the family table is very near to the Music ?

Additionally, any other users with experience on weddings are welcome to join the debate

Thank you very much !

It likely depends on the venue whether the parent table is near the music. Usually that table is near the head table. From past experiences, I can recall some where the music was near the sides or near the back of the room. It's not normally right next to the head table. Often it depends where the dance floor is located.

 

[mattryp]

I think it's all been said in this thread, but just wanted to chime in, since my wedding thread was quoted, and that's how I got my T / H. Usually, the ceremonies themselves are relatively quiet, and not amplified to an insane volume. It's the receptions that can be dangerous. Can be. As others have pointed out, it all depends on the venue. That said, I've noticed an alarming trend, where amplified events keep getting louder and louder in these modern societies of ours. In the case of wedding receptions, it's almost like the DJs think that the louder it is, the better a time everyone will have. It's really infuriating to me. But again, it all depends on the venue and DJ, there's infinite variation in this world. So I'd suggest that you get yourself some Mack's 32dB flesh colored foam plugs, to not draw attention / questions if you need to use them, and take them with you to the reception. That's some solid protection right there. Use your own judgment, and don't be afraid to wear the plugs if things get too loud, especially since you already have T. In hindsight, wish I was smarter and did the same, for this single event in my life that took me down.

 

[Rust]

I would just like to confirm that my ears did recover following the post that I am quoted in here. It took a number of weeks to recover. Sorry for not coming back to confirm the recovery - I've tried to not come on here much.

So you have no comment about @eatmoretacos. How about @Rust 's experience?


I can keep going. There's more where That came from. How many experiences would you like me to post?

Are you advocating "ignoring reality, and substituting your own" reality?

 

[Amv]

Hello All !

So sunday I attended the wedding. The mass was ok, everyone chant so I believe by moments the db went up to +85db but were low in minutes, so it was ok.

I missed the reception and then stayed 1.15 hours at dinner. I forgot my earplugs and the music was up, I was quite anxious about it, but my app measurer was around 77db, so worst case it was around 87db or so at max level, I stayed for 1.15 hours so probably the lowest time i stayed there helped me too. I took NAC before the wedding to have some sort of protection.

I'll let you know any changes but I think everything will be ok ! Thank you all !!!

 

[Julien87]

Glad you could go and enjoy it
Bring your plugs next time so that you can enjoy it longer