Weird Super High Pitched Zing That Comes on Randomly Every 5 Seconds or So

[Exit]

@Mumbo, @Exit, @Wrfortiscue, @IntotheBlue03:

For these high frequency zings, do you think hearing aids with amplification could help the brain lower the perception of them (if we have hearing loss)? I wouldn't want to mask with white noise, but I'm just wondering if the amplification could help from hearing aids.

Maybe for some of you who already have variable volume on the reactive zings, IF you could muster up a hearing aid for 10-16 kHz hearing loss...

I think 10 kHz is max.

 

[Exit]

The thing I'm confused at with the reactive tinnitus is "what is it trying to accomplish?" Is it like a little kid who wants to sing LA LA LA along with all the other sounds? Or is it more dire like my ear is repeatedly telling me to stop all sounds as kind of a warning siren?

I'm always torn. The zings get to be too much so I put in ear plugs. Then the baseline tinnitus increases and that becomes unbearable. I just switch from one type of auditory issue to another all day.

If I sever the auditory nerve will that end it all? Or will some of those sounds still remain even though I'm deaf. Would the reactivity at least stop? I know it's desperate talk but it's also desperate times; for the first time in my life, I had a mental breakdown last night and my wife had to take me to the ER to be sedated.

Hi, very sorry for your breakdown Didn't notice your message before now.

I'm a little tired but keep your hope up you will improve!

Again I strongly suggest using something over your ears outside around traffic and people.

Even over the ear headphones protects a good chunk from high frequency noises...

I recommend Bose, but don't use the noise cancellation mode. That's no protection.

Of course earplugs and earmuffs are much better.

Big hugs!

I think ALL tinnitus tries to warn us! Just think of it as normal tinnitus. Let it do its thing as long as you keep yourself away from loud and intermediate loud noise!

 

[Wrfortiscue]

@Mumbo, @Exit, @Wrfortiscue, @IntotheBlue03:

For these high frequency zings, do you think hearing aids with amplification could help the brain lower the perception of them (if we have hearing loss)? I wouldn't want to mask with white noise, but I'm just wondering if the amplification could help from hearing aids.

I tried hearing aids for my hearing loss and they did help at the time but the amplification would spike me over time.

 

[Mumbo]

I finally got in to see an audiologist. Cool dude, very knowledgeable and nice, but ultimately left me feeling that my only option is therapy to "live with it." I requested another audiogram at a higher frequency and found my left ear has hearing loss above 8 kHz. It likely explains some tinnitus but I don't know if it explains the new or old since I d never had one that high before. He also did some crazy test that inserted in my ear and made a loud vibration sound. The right ear was very uncomfortable but the left had me closing my eyes, gritting my teeth, and internally begging for it to end. When it was done the audiologist said I didn't have hyperacusis because I didn't complain. That rubbed me the wrong way - he didn't even ask if it hurt. Of course it freakin hurt! I just didn't want to interrupt a potentially important test and have to sit through it again!

He gave the advice of CBT which I think I'll follow through with. Other than that, I was left with many unanswered questions that leave me a bit frustrated. I guess I just wanted to know what caused all this - I still get new sounds every few days so I feel something in my life is making it worse. Maybe it's just lack of sleep, but does that cause brand new sounds so often?

The toughest part of my tinnitus, the painful reactive zings, were barely touched upon. I told him about them and his response was "why do you think they happen?" So I kinda theorized but he never followed up with what HE thought. I'm just looking for answers for how to deal with it without causing long term harm, y'know? Should I always protect the ear so the zings mellow, or expose the ear to sounds in the hopes it will get used to them?

I was wiping dust off a piece of furniture yesterday and noticed a zing. So I did it again and again with the same results. The longer this goes on I'm learning that the zings are 100% a reaction to sounds and not truly random. I told my lovely new wife of this revelation and wondered if I should try to slowly reintroduce sounds via sound enrichment and she sat me down a politely told me I'm dumb and needed to stop "researching" things on the internet. Maybe she's right but I'm desperate and grasping for straws. Though as tough as this has been, my wife has been very supportive and I'd be lost without her. I love her very much.

Still, I've come to hate bedtime. I only sleep an hour a night and wake up exhausted and mentally devoid like a zombie. It's the same every night - fall asleep relatively quickly from the fatigue, sleep an hour or two if I'm lucky, then wake up to random sounds that set off the zings. I can't use a fan because that too sets off the zings. Then I spend the next four hours trying to sleep because I desperately need it but too tired to actually get up. I went so long without sleep the other day I hallucinated my dog jumping on the bed... my boy that died a year and a half ago. I've tried Ambien, Melatonin, Benadryl etc. anyone in the same boat as me have any suggestions?

 

[Exit]

If you have a fan on and put the reactive ear down on a pillow, does that work?

 

[Mumbo]

If you have a fan on and put the reactive ear down on a pillow, does that work?

Not really. Doing that as well as putting in an earplug at night slightly dulls the pain but it still prevents me from sleeping. It's only marginally better than nothing but for now it's all I got

It's been spiking extremely hard tonight for some reason and I'm getting desperate. It's never hurt this bad before and as an adult male I'm nearly in tears. And I'm a guy who sat through a root canal last year when they couldn't numb the molar.

If I get my cochlea removed, will the reactivity go with it? I can't take this anymore.

 

[Exit]

Not really. Doing that as well as putting in an earplug at night slightly dulls the pain but it still prevents me from sleeping. It's only marginally better than nothing but for now it's all I got

It's been spiking extremely hard tonight for some reason and I'm getting desperate. It's never hurt this bad before and as an adult male I'm nearly in tears. And I'm a guy who sat through a root canal last year when they couldn't numb the molar.

If I get my cochlea removed, will the reactivity go with it? I can't take this anymore.

I've read that tinnitus is usually a side effect of cochlea surgery...

I'm pretty confident your sleep will improve with time.

 

[Mumbo]

My primary prescribed some Gabapentin yesterday after I told her I was hesitant to take the benzos I was given at the ER. The ER gave me 12 benzo pills and I've taken three, and they work nicely to give me a good 4 hours sleep and make the first half of the next day tolerable. But I don't want to get hooked and care even less for having to go through benzo withdrawal.

Wish I could say the Gabapentin helped last night but again I got zero hours. Because I'm not sleeping and can't find any way to dull the pain nor mask the zings to find even a moment's respite, I'm rapidly approaching a point where I hate every minute of existence.

This is temporary though and one day when things are cool again, I'll look back and realize how much better things have gotten. Hopefully this experience will make me a better person then, though I worry that every day I lose a little more of myself to this thing.

 

[Jerad]

My primary prescribed some Gabapentin yesterday after I told her I was hesitant to take the benzos I was given at the ER. The ER gave me 12 benzo pills and I've taken three, and they work nicely to give me a good 4 hours sleep and make the first half of the next day tolerable. But I don't want to get hooked and care even less for having to go through benzo withdrawal.

Wish I could say the Gabapentin helped last night but again I got zero hours. Because I'm not sleeping and can't find any way to dull the pain nor mask the zings to find even a moment's respite, I'm rapidly approaching a point where I hate every minute of existence.

This is temporary though and one day when things are cool again, I'll look back and realize how much better things have gotten. Hopefully this experience will make me a better person then, though I worry that every day I lose a little more of myself to this thing.

So the Gabapentin doesn't help the zings or reduce their volume?

I'm also struggling a lot with the zings. It's my number one problem right now, even with terrible loudness hyperacusis tagging along.

Hyperacusis can be controlled cuz I can control my exposure to sound. But these zings are like someone randomly tasing you and it's torture since there's no escape. I feel like there's a pendulum swinging back-and-forth in my head and it's slicing and dicing the nerves. It sounds like that or 2 knives sharpening against one another. It's actually painful. If it was "just a sound," it wouldn't be that bad. But when it becomes a physical sensation, too, it takes it to a whole different level of suffering.

 

[Mumbo]

So the Gabapentin doesn't help the zings or reduce their volume?

So far, no, but I've only been on it two days now. I guess some people react to it quickly but others take a few weeks. I don't have high hopes because so far nothing has taken the edge off, but this has more promise than anything else I've tried. If anything helps it'll probably be this. I'll be sure to update after a couple weeks.

But yeah, I agree with you about the torture part. I get them all through the night too which is why I can't sleep. The Ambien, etc makes me tired enough that if circumstances were ideal I would EASILY fall asleep for 8 hours, but it's kinda hard when someone keeps tasing me in the side of the head every couple of seconds.

 

[Mumbo]

To update you @Jerad, I've stopped taking the Gabapentin after four nights. The last two nights, the baseline ringing and zings greatly increased in volume within two hours of taking my dose. Easily a 10/10 in volume and completely unbearable. It went down on night three after eight hours. It's not going down after night four. No sleep either night and I'm starting to get vivid hallucinations. I don't know if Gabapentin is to blame for the spike but I'm not going to risk it because I'm on the edge of giving up and don't want to be pushed.

 

[Jerad]

To update you @Jerad, I've stopped taking the Gabapentin after four nights. The last two nights, the baseline ringing and zings greatly increased in volume within two hours of taking my dose. Easily a 10/10 in volume and completely unbearable. It went down on night three after eight hours. It's not going down after night four. No sleep either night and I'm starting to get vivid hallucinations. I don't know if Gabapentin is to blame for the spike but I'm not going to risk it because I'm on the edge of giving up and don't want to be pushed.

@Mumbo, thanks for the update. I'm sorry to hear that it has gotten worse and the medication might've caused it.

Do you think LDN (low dose Naltrexone) could help us with the zaps? I know @IntotheBlue03 is taking that and has indicated that it might be what lowered tinnitus and zaps. But not sure if our situation is the same.

 

[Mumbo]

@Mumbo, thanks for the update. I'm sorry to hear that it has gotten worse and the medication might've caused it.

Do you think LDN (low dose Naltrexone) could help us with the zaps? I know @IntotheBlue03 is taking that and has indicated that it might be what lowered tinnitus and zaps. But not sure if our situation is the same.

At this point I don't know what could help. I have an appointment with a neurologist but the nearest available date wasn't until mid-June. For me, the toughest part is that I have so many different sounds in my ears now. Earplugs help to somewhat lessen the zaps but then everything else goes bonkers. I really just want to sever the auditory nerve and be done with it, but no one seems to be able to tell me if that will even help. If it takes away the sounds, being half deaf would be a freakin' joy.

 

[Jerad]

At this point I don't know what could help. I have an appointment with a neurologist but the nearest available date wasn't until mid-June. For me, the toughest part is that I have so many different sounds in my ears now. Earplugs help to somewhat lessen the zaps but then everything else goes bonkers. I really just want to sever the auditory nerve and be done with it, but no one seems to be able to tell me if that will even help. If it takes away the sounds, being half deaf would be a freakin' joy.

Any better @Mumbo? Hope you can find relief.

I have an appt with a well known tinnitus and hyperacusis audiologist next wek to get an extended audiogram and explore hearing aids. So I'm going to talk to her and see if there's anything that can help for our type of situation. I'll keep you posted.

 

[Mumbo]

Any better @Mumbo? Hope you can find relief.

I have an appt with a well known tinnitus and hyperacusis audiologist next wek to get an extended audiogram and explore hearing aids. So I'm going to talk to her and see if there's anything that can help for our type of situation. I'll keep you posted.

I try to keep a positive outlook, but this is steadily getting worse. Maybe it's just due to the lack of sleep as I'm still only getting about an hour a night. I've always been a super light sleeper so this specific type of painful reactive tinnitus is a perfect storm to wreck me. My health is starting to get impacted too, as I've developed a slow weak pulse (between 35-45 resting), I barely eat as it makes me nauseated, and I'm starting to get cranky which is COMPLETELY unlike me.

I hope your audiologist appointment next week at least gets you some answers. One of the toughest parts of this is not really knowing how to proceed. For me, I just want to take out my entire auditory system on the left side and deal with the deafness. Maybe your audiologist could tell you if severing the auditory nerve will eliminate the reactiveness as no one I know seems to have an answer for that.

 

[Jerad]

I try to keep a positive outlook, but this is steadily getting worse. Maybe it's just due to the lack of sleep as I'm still only getting about an hour a night. I've always been a super light sleeper so this specific type of painful reactive tinnitus is a perfect storm to wreck me. My health is starting to get impacted too, as I've developed a slow weak pulse (between 35-45 resting), I barely eat as it makes me nauseated, and I'm starting to get cranky which is COMPLETELY unlike me.

I hope your audiologist appointment next week at least gets you some answers. One of the toughest parts of this is not really knowing how to proceed. For me, I just want to take out my entire auditory system on the left side and deal with the deafness. Maybe your audiologist could tell you if severing the auditory nerve will eliminate the reactiveness as no one I know seems to have an answer for that.

@Mumbo, sorry to hear that it's getting worse and affecting your health even more. One hour of sleep a day is unfortunate too. I'm blessed to have been able to sleep well most days as of late. I hope it improves for you soon. I totally get it.

As for severing the auditory nerve though, I'll ask when I go to the appt what they think that would do. I honestly think it wouldn't do anything but make matters worse. But I'll check. I've researched that before on this forum and a lot of people say that the tinnitus would remain but you'd be deaf. So obviously a worse situation. The idea is that when tinnitus is brain-based, it's impossible to eradicate in that way. I think that if you could destroy a "spot" on the brain itself, the exact spot responsible for the mess-up, that sounds more plausible to eliminating tinnitus in that sense. Let's say that there was a dot-sized spot on the brain that could be narrowed down as the exact section responsible for the phantom noise, and you obliterated it with laser precision. Who knows. That would probably just make it even worse too though.

It seems that, right now, our best bet is treatments like hearing aids or stuff in the pipeline coming soon, or habituation. I am most interested in the potassium channel modulators (like the new "Trobalt" 2.0). They might show promise. My main concern with habituation in my case is that the tinnitus is more than just a sound — it's a feeling too. As you know too. So it makes it harder for sure. Like I said, it's like being tasered often and that doesn't make easy for habituation. It's like being tortured. I mean unless you're talking habituation of reaction and not perception. Some people surrender to habituation of reaction, meaning you get to a place where you're emotionally at peace with the tinnitus, but your perception isn't necessarily indifferent to it. Like you might hear and feel it most of the time but you're ok with it emotionally.

I will say this... don't lose hope. Because I see some light already. I find that it's easier to do things without noise right now, like watching TV with just closed captioning, because it's not putting my auditory system to the task. I'm not trying to use my ears. It's all visual. So I can watch TV and read the dialogue and kinda tune out the tinnitus because I'm not using my ears so to speak. It kinda has some tidbits of habituation working in it already. Same with reading. If I immerse myself in it, I can kinda zone out the tinnitus. So all hope isn't lost.

How often are you getting zapped?

 

[Mumbo]

@Mumbo, sorry to hear that it's getting worse and affecting your health even more. One hour of sleep a day is unfortunate too. I'm blessed to have been able to sleep well most days as of late. I hope it improves for you soon. I totally get it.

As for severing the auditory nerve though, I'll ask when I go to the appt what they think that would do. I honestly think it wouldn't do anything but make matters worse. But I'll check. I've researched that before on this forum and a lot of people say that the tinnitus would remain but you'd be deaf. So obviously a worse situation. The idea is that when tinnitus is brain-based, it's impossible to eradicate in that way. I think that if you could destroy a "spot" on the brain itself, the exact spot responsible for the mess-up, that sounds more plausible to eliminating tinnitus in that sense. Let's say that there was a dot-sized spot on the brain that could be narrowed down as the exact section responsible for the phantom noise, and you obliterated it with laser precision. Who knows. That would probably just make it even worse too though.

It seems that, right now, our best bet is treatments like hearing aids or stuff in the pipeline coming soon, or habituation. I am most interested in the potassium channel modulators (like the new "Trobalt" 2.0). They might show promise. My main concern with habituation in my case is that the tinnitus is more than just a sound — it's a feeling too. As you know too. So it makes it harder for sure. Like I said, it's like being tasered often and that doesn't make easy for habituation. It's like being tortured. I mean unless you're talking habituation of reaction and not perception. Some people surrender to habituation of reaction, meaning you get to a place where you're emotionally at peace with the tinnitus, but your perception isn't necessarily indifferent to it. Like you might hear and feel it most of the time but you're ok with it emotionally.

I will say this... don't lose hope. Because I see some light already. I find that it's easier to do things without noise right now, like watching TV with just closed captioning, because it's not putting my auditory system to the task. I'm not trying to use my ears. It's all visual. So I can watch TV and read the dialogue and kinda tune out the tinnitus because I'm not using my ears so to speak. It kinda has some tidbits of habituation working in it already. Same with reading. If I immerse myself in it, I can kinda zone out the tinnitus. So all hope isn't lost.

How often are you getting zapped?

Thank you for the thoughtful response. My hope was that severing the nerve would remove the reactive part of this, as the zings immediately respond to sound. No sound, fewer zings, right? Maybe not... For me, 99% of this is localized in my left ear with the occasional back-of-neck tingling or briefly jumping to the other ear, so perhaps severing the nerve might be fruitful in my case. I really don't know though.

I'm trying to keep fighting but I'll stop bullshitting and confess that my posts have stopped being about recovery or understanding this mess. They've become a journal that can reveal to my wife just what this has been like so maybe she can understand my decision if I decide to throw in the towel. It's not easy to say but I'm almost there. I've been up all night AGAIN because my brain won't let me sleep so whether I quit first or my body does from exhaustion is kinda inconsequential.

To answer your question, the zaps come about 30 times a minute in silence but if there's ambient sound like the heater running, about once a second. In "reactive mode" they hurt more than "silent mode." I've been using an earplug in the affected ear to minimize the zaps but that ear also has several other new tones including an erratic Morse code sound, clicking, and high pitched piercing eeeeee that comes and goes consistently. It all goes nuts with an earplug in so I can only tolerate it so long. Without the earplug, the zaps go crazy. Everything is so chaotic I haven't even begun to get used to it - and that's coming from a guy who habituated to old tinnitus 20 years ago. I literally have no sanctuary and envy people who can just turn on white noise to forget about it for two seconds.

Anyway, I'm glad you're finding a margin of relief and hope it continues to get better for you. Unless I can figure out a way to get away from it long enough to sleep I think I'm about done.

Also, I get transient tinnitus in addition to the other stuff about 10 times an hour. Y'know, the benign kind where you kinda get muffled hearing for 15 seconds along with a loud tone that fades quickly. I know everyone gets that somewhat infrequently, but what does it mean if it's so often?

 

[Jerad]

Thank you for the thoughtful response. My hope was that severing the nerve would remove the reactive part of this, as the zings immediately respond to sound. No sound, fewer zings, right? Maybe not... For me, 99% of this is localized in my left ear with the occasional back-of-neck tingling or briefly jumping to the other ear, so perhaps severing the nerve might be fruitful in my case. I really don't know though.

I'm trying to keep fighting but I'll stop bullshitting and confess that my posts have stopped being about recovery or understanding this mess. They've become a journal that can reveal to my wife just what this has been like so maybe she can understand my decision if I decide to throw in the towel. It's not easy to say but I'm almost there. I've been up all night AGAIN because my brain won't let me sleep so whether I quit first or my body does from exhaustion is kinda inconsequential.

To answer your question, the zaps come about 30 times a minute in silence but if there's ambient sound like the heater running, about once a second. In "reactive mode" they hurt more than "silent mode." I've been using an earplug in the affected ear to minimize the zaps but that ear also has several other new tones including an erratic Morse code sound, clicking, and high pitched piercing eeeeee that comes and goes consistently. It all goes nuts with an earplug in so I can only tolerate it so long. Without the earplug, the zaps go crazy. Everything is so chaotic I haven't even begun to get used to it - and that's coming from a guy who habituated to old tinnitus 20 years ago. I literally have no sanctuary and envy people who can just turn on white noise to forget about it for two seconds.

Anyway, I'm glad you're finding a margin of relief and hope it continues to get better for you. Unless I can figure out a way to get away from it long enough to sleep I think I'm about done.

Also, I get transient tinnitus in addition to the other stuff about 10 times an hour. Y'know, the benign kind where you kinda get muffled hearing for 15 seconds along with a loud tone that fades quickly. I know everyone gets that somewhat infrequently, but what does it mean if it's so often?

@Mumbo, I dunno if the zings are caused by nerve inflammation, high frequency hearing loss, or synapse damage. I know mine were brought on by an ototoxic reaction from a supplement. I know a lot of people get similar zaps when they withdraw from benzos. Those usually subside with time.

As for what's causing our issues, not sure. I have found reports from people of their zaps going away with time (not just benzo users).

When it comes to throwing in the towel, I understand why you feel that way. This is torture. But it's usually advised to give your situation time to see if it improves. Tinnitus can improve in the first few months or even year(s). So there's a chance that what you're experiencing now will not be what you're experiencing down the road. You're also in a fight-or-flight state and that creates all this anxiety, too.

Throwing in the towel seems like an attractive option for some, but also carries substantial risks unfortunately — you just don't know what will happen after. I've heard this argument before. What if you throw in the towel and take the tinnitus with you? You think you're getting rid of it by escaping, so-to-speak, but what if you're not? What if it follows you to the afterlife? S is permanent and irreversible. Dunno what your spiritual thoughts are on it all, but I do totally understand why you're feeling trapped, like there's no way out, and that life is over.

I hate to conjure up negativity on the subject, but I can understand what you're thinking since we've been down similar paths up to this point. I can't consider S an option due to my religious beliefs. I've been turning to God (Christian) for strength and praying for help.

Some people have reported significant relief from high frequency tinnitus with certain benzos. Clonazepam, for example. It may take the zaps away. Even though you reacted bad to the other one, that doesn't mean you'd react bad to them all. What one does can be different than the other. So if you're truly at the end of the line, might as well try them. Nothing to lose. Might help a lot.

Some worry about withdrawing and reaching tolerance with increased tinnitus, but some stay on them for life. It's kind of like playing the lottery or taking your chances — dunno how your body will respond. I remember seeing @bill 112 write a testimony about how benzos made a night-and-day difference for him and his severe tinnitus/hyperacusis. And it helps others like @linearb, who said he uses them regularly.

I've never taken a benzo and I would consider it as an option (eventually if need be), but I'm waiting to see if I can find relief elsewhere.

I know this is tough, man, and sucks big time, but I honestly think something can help us, whether it's LDN (low dose Naltrexone, future treatments like the potassium channel modulators, or all the other meds in the pipeline, or hearing aids, or benzos as a last resort). And there's always the chance of habituation of reaction or perception.

I don't think severing the auditory nerve will work. But I'll ask about it. Even if it would or might, I don't think any doctor would agree to do it. That's probably your biggest hurdle to even going that route.

Not sure what the transient tinnitus is, but I have gotten that before, too. Could be part of the tinnitus being unstable early on due to the trauma.

 

[Mumbo]

Hi Jerad. Sorry about the late response - I've been having a tough go at things since my last post. I'm not lingering long since I have an extremely hard time sitting still lately, but I wanted to thank you for the kind words of encouragement. This has been brutal, but it helps a little to know you're rooting for me. So, thank you.

 

[Jerad]

Hi Jerad. Sorry about the late response - I've been having a tough go at things since my last post. I'm not lingering long since I have an extremely hard time sitting still lately, but I wanted to thank you for the kind words of encouragement. This has been brutal, but it helps a little to know you're rooting for me. So, thank you.

@Mumbo, no problem, man! I hope you improve soon. I've been having tough moments, too, and some improvements. I know what it's like to not be able to sit still. That's the fight-or-flight and anxiety. Mine has gotten better and I can relax more now. My appointment with the audiologist is tomorrow, so I'm going to ask a lot of questions and see what can be done. I'll ask about the severing of the nerve inquiry, too.

 

[Mumbo]

I'm near the end of a 12-day course of Prednisone. It hasn't helped but this late in the game I didn't expect it to. My doctor wanted me to find a psychiatrist to find and manage medications to help me through this, but I've had zero luck in that regard. I can't even get one around here to return a damn call, let alone schedule me.

Overall, I've never felt this down in my life. Every second is a painful struggle and I've stopped eating and drinking. I try to focus on my future, which will probably be one where I've habituated and learned to deal with the pain and be happy, but my mind keeps reverting back to the present. It wants to find a way out. Any way out. I keep thinking of ending things. I've not told anyone in my life I'm having these thoughts because I thought there was no threat of me following through with it, but the threat has become very real.

My wife is leaving town for a few days this weekend to spend time with her family. She wanted to leave it up to me to decide if she goes or stays with me (she knows how hard I'm struggling). I've been urging her to go... because... part of me doesn't want anyone here to stop me if I've decided enough is enough. Lord help me.

 

[Hottopic29]

I had a reactive zing. It reacted to the fan on low speed and white noise. Stress made it zing for the last 2 months. The other day I needed the heater on and it got mad, turned to an eeeee, then went away. I didn't hear it after that. I think it was a dead hair cell still there hanging on. They do take quite a few months to die. I have read in mice it's like 7 months...

 

[Jerad]

I'm near the end of a 12-day course of Prednisone. It hasn't helped but this late in the game I didn't expect it to. My doctor wanted me to find a psychiatrist to find and manage medications to help me through this, but I've had zero luck in that regard. I can't even get one around here to return a damn call, let alone schedule me.

Overall, I've never felt this down in my life. Every second is a painful struggle and I've stopped eating and drinking. I try to focus on my future, which will probably be one where I've habituated and learned to deal with the pain and be happy, but my mind keeps reverting back to the present. It wants to find a way out. Any way out. I keep thinking of ending things. I've not told anyone in my life I'm having these thoughts because I thought there was no threat of me following through with it, but the threat has become very real.

My wife is leaving town for a few days this weekend to spend time with her family. She wanted to leave it up to me to decide if she goes or stays with me (she knows how hard I'm struggling). I've been urging her to go... because... part of me doesn't want anyone here to stop me if I've decided enough is enough. Lord help me.

Hey, @Mumbo, sorry to hear Prednisone didn't help. I never tried it because of all the stories people reported where they got worse trying it. I react bad to meds so often, so I didn't try it. Part of me wonders if I should have. But I had a huge tinnitus and hyperacusis spike that didn't subside from Turmeric (a herb that's a pain reliever and inflammation fighter), so I thought I'd err on the side of caution. If a natural substance/herb aggravated me, then I thought Prednisone would, too. I didn't want to risk another big blowup.

I understand the immense despair. I'm in a similar place sometimes. The way I see it, though, is that rather than being in "hell," it's more like I'm in purgatory. Because I have confidence that something will come to relieve the pain enough to make life reasonable once again. Whether that's a potassium channel modulator or another medication, I feel something will come. There are a lot of options to consider.

I'm even planning to try hearing aids here in a few weeks. I had an appointment with an audiologist and she explained how they can help a lot, even with just using minor amplification, for tinnitus perception similar to mine. And hyperacusis, too. So there's a chance those could help a lot. She's an experienced and well-known audiologist, so she treats a lot of patients who are severe.

But I understand the anxiety you're feeling very much. I've never been like this before either. I hear about people with problems and say to myself, "I wish that's all I had to worry about." Not to be crude or diminish their experiences, but it's crazy. I know people in deep debt, going through divorces, having addictions... those problems, while troubling and sad, have viable solutions — the victims can reclaim some semblance of life eventually; they can be happy once again. But with my situation, I worry because I'm essentially getting electrocuted nonstop and hearing a loud, piercing, pulsating tone that feels (and oddly sounds) like knives dicing nerves. How does one accept or adapt to that? It's a minute-by-minute struggle some days. Others, it's a lot better. But usually, still an hour-by-hour fiasco. It gets exhausting.

I'd love it if my biggest problem was being in debt, going through a messy divorce, or even punching Chris Rock on stage. Lol. Those issues seem so tiny to me now. Tinnitus has made me realize what true hell is... and most folk can't even begin to fathom that type of situation; or the cruelty life can thrust upon you. It can feel torturous at times.

But I am praying a lot and asking God for help. And I have confidence that He'll provide a path for me.

I'm also exploring med options. If you're really at the end of the line, Mumbo, you ought to try Clonazepam to see if it helps. Got nothing to lose. Some people are helped a lot by it. It can reduce t perception and anxiety, too. Benzos get a bad rap for the negative stories, but there are success ones; and some people stay on them for life. Last resort, of course. But it sounds like you're running out of time, in a sense.

Or you could try the potassium channel modulator Flupirtine. Find a doctor who will prescribe. You'll have to monitor closely because it can cause liver toxicity in some if the doses get too high or too long. But like I said, if you're at the end of the line, what do you have to lose? Also, Flupirtine could possibly help since you're still in the acute window technically. It might help reverse some tinnitus. Dunno for sure, though. If you look at the Flupirtine thread, you can see some experienced positive outcomes with it.

I don't want to see you give up, of course. I think there's always hope, especially with God.

What about the Susan Shore device? More trial results are being released hopefully soon.

Just know that you're not alone and that other people in similar shoes do have hope, so if they can feel that way, maybe you can, too. I dream that eventually this nightmare will be just a distant memory of a bad chapter in my life. I want to reclaim my life and be happy again, and I think that's certainly a very possible goal, knowing what I know.

 

[Jerad]

I had a reactive zing. It reacted to the fan on low speed and white noise. Stress made it zing for the last 2 months. The other day I needed the heater on and it got mad, turned to an eeeee, then went away. I didn't hear it after that. I think it was a dead hair cell still there hanging on. They do take quite a few months to die. I have read in mice it's like 7 months...

@Hottopic29, so your zing went away totally? If so, what do you think made it go away? The hair cell finally dying?

And did the zing cause physical sensations of pain? The problem @Mumbo and I are having is that we get these sharp, piercing zings that also cause physical sensations of pain. Mine sounds like a spark noise or car breaks squealing for a second or so. But it's aggressive oftentimes and feels like being electrocuted.

 

[Hottopic29]

@Hottopic29, so your zing went away totally? If so, what do you think made it go away? The hair cell finally dying?

And did the zing cause physical sensations of pain? The problem @Mumbo and I are having is that we get these sharp, piercing zings that also cause physical sensations of pain. Mine sounds like a spark noise or car breaks squealing for a second or so. But it's aggressive oftentimes and feels like being electrocuted.

I would get the zing whenever I was exposed to fan. In one ear it was a little zing and in the other ear I had little cricket sound. I was exposed to a low speed fan white noise the other day and it turned to an eeeee, then I got nervous if it caused damage, turned the fan off and the eeee went away silently.

 

[Jerad]

My wife is leaving town for a few days this weekend to spend time with her family. She wanted to leave it up to me to decide if she goes or stays with me (she knows how hard I'm struggling). I've been urging her to go... because... part of me doesn't want anyone here to stop me if I've decided enough is enough. Lord help me.

@Mumbo, are you okay? Please let us know. It's been over a week since you last signed on, which is unusual. Worried about you. You indicated that you were considering ending it all.