Why? Are We Just All Damaged Now? It Seems So Many Things Can Cause a Spike — Are We That Sensitive?

[Amelia]

This is a total brain dump, but I'm having a loud day -actually loudest week ever and I'm wondering ...

I've just taken one of my kids to the dentist for a checkup, and while I was there I asked how accommodating they are to someone with T as I need 2 fillings, and it got me thinking - I'm petrified of so many things now because of my T - things I never gave a second thought to before onset.

And why? Are we just all damaged now? It seems so many things can cause a spike - are we that sensitive? And why are we so much more sensitive than regular people?

Mine isn't hearing loss as far as I know - I'm almost 100% sure I f*cked my ears up myself by forcing water up my nose with that nasal wash, so why am I now convinced (true or otherwise) my ears are spiked by loud noises, stress or tiredness?

Once we get T are we destined to be sensitive forever? Destined to have broken ears that will only get worse? I mean if I don't have a hearing loss (or only have normal age related hearing loss like others of my age) then why should I care if I'm in a loud restaurant for a few hours, or watching a movie at the cinema? Christ, my husband is taking me out for valentines day tonight, and it will be In a busy and fully booked restaurant and I've already had a panic attack about it and how it will make my ears afterwards.

I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make, I guess I'm just trying to work out why I'm so scared of things I used to do so easily? And I'm wondering why once we get T everything seems to upset our ears ...

 

[Lulubug69]

It's a crappy thing, this T. I get paranoid about things too, so your not alone. I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy and am scared to be put under even though it's not for long. I notice my T being seemingly louder under stress...and I recently lost my Dad, now I'm having anxiety and heart palpitations along with T. With all this extra drama the T actually fell into the background temporarily. However the concern is always in the back of my mind where my T is concerned. I guess we have to make a conscious choice to live our lives. We can be cautious in situations we can control, and try not to fret about the ones where we have none. I just don't want to give it the power to ruin how I live. It's not easy but I feel if I act like I normally would without the T, my body will follow in kind. I do find I notice the T less and less when I do things as I normally would have without T. Un/fortunately the heart palpitations give me something else to focus on right now, hopefully everything will calm down and I'll find peace again. I wish you peace too Amelia.

 

[Sherri786]

Yes, like somebody wrote before it's almost like a death.

 

[LadyDi]

I am so sorry you are having a bad time with this right now, Amelia. The reality, like with anyone else with a chronic condition, is there will be good days and bad days. We just need to learn to accommodate our symptoms (and the bad days.) Do you have custom ear plugs with filters, so you can have something of a conversation while you have them in? If not, go get some. If so, wear them when you go out for Valentines Day. I will be wearing mine. It is not the same as the Valentine's Days we had in the past. But still can go out, be happy, celebrate with someone we love. So many people won't have this opportunity tomorrow (or today, depending where in the world you are).

We are scared because our tinnitus makes us anxious, puts us on hyper alert. I think tinnitus makes you sensitive to sound, even if you don't have hyperacusis. And it is the anxiety that makes us afraid. I was afraid to fly after I got T...but I flew through the air like an eagle at Christmas. I was afraid to have dental work done...last week, I had four fillings removed and replaced. I had to make a plan, take precautions. But I was fine. You will be, too. Don't be afraid to reclaim your life.

It doesn't really matter what caused our tinnitus. We have it now. Life throws all kind of challenges: divorce, cancer, death of a child, MS, being laid off, chronic fatigue, a sibling who you realize is mentally ill, a stroke. Tinnitus is our challenge and we can face it, even if we don't like it. Tinnitus does NOT run our lives.

Happy Valentine's Day, Amelia. I am wishing you better days, which will be yours. Go out and live and love. Tinnitus does not keep you from doing this..

 

[Amelia]

@Lulubug69 - don't fear the colonoscopy - I had a local anesthetic recently and it lowered my T for days ... And I've heard that generals can lower it also (although temporary) - something to look forward too! and Im so sorry for the loss of your dad xxx

@LadyDi - what would I do without you? You always have something wise to say. And you are so right. In the grand scheme of things, it could be a lot worse - and I do know that, I'm just in such a funk since T came on the scene, so paranoid about everything I do. I'm tired, but not mentally strong enough to pull myself out if it it seems.

I want to trust I'll get there. I want to trust that one day I won't worry about the ringing, and that I'll be as happy as I was before. It's just my nature to fear and worry unfortunately.

But I love that you have been able to have dental work and fly with no adverse effects - THAT gives me hope

 

[Lulubug69]

@Amelia Thank you I feel better about the colonoscopy now. Thank you regarding my Dad, I appreciate it.

 

[billie48]

Amelia, go and enjoy your Valentine date with husband and the heck with T. Tell it and all the noises to take a ticket and wait in line. You can always deal with them later. Oh, yes, I know the noises seem to hurt. But are they? They won't damage anything really. If there is a spike afterwards, so be it. T spikes one way or other anyway. So protect your precious once a year Valentine date with all your happy cells going full steam to suppress the fear for T. Live life abundantly regardless of T. Let T be, let the rest of your happy life be. That is what I am doing. I will take my honey out to a Valentine dance regardless what T will do. It is a church sponsored Valentine dance with live band. I just won't dance near the loud speakers if they bother my ears. This is not my first dance since T onset so I am okay with it. And I will focus and treasure the sweet moment with her and this will be our 30+ Valentine dates. I have a pair of ear plugs for listening to music. So it will be in my pocket if I need them. But heaven or hell, we will go to the Valentine dance and me and my wife are having our 'training camp' of dance steps on cha cha, waltz, jive, rumba etc. Oh, so exciting to get out to the dance floor.

Don't get me wrong. I was worrying about T like you during the first year or two. So I truly understand your feeling and your hesitation. But when we dare our T to live abundantly to compensate for T suffering, we can slowly lose the fear for it. And our sensitivity to T ringing as well as to noises will taper off over time. Time will be on our side. So go for it lady. Enjoy yourself and have a great Valentine date with your husband.

 

[Stina]

@Amelia , If you look at your husband and father then for them hasn't gotten worse. Also, here in this board there are many people (Karen, Zimichael, I who love music, Relic Hunter) who had if for decades without it getting worse. I think the main problem is that 1) internet is never a good source of information as it focuses on the horror stories - read the news for example) 2) the people who have it better and who habituate naturally do not sit on boards and write messages like me right now because they do not see it as a problem. If only around 20% turns to doctors, then probably for well over 50% it never starts to be an annoyance.
Also, if you are scared wear weak plugs to the restaurant.

 

[Neenie]

You just have to push those feelings aside and do it anyway. Feel the fear, but do it anyway. Nothing bad will happen. The more you talk yourself into the fact that you're scared, the worse you will feel and the scarier everything else will become. I'm scared of every sound also, but I push past and do it anyway. In class we were doing covering "feedback" and we literally got microphones and put them really close to speakers so we could hear the feedback. Now multiply this by 20 students all doing it at the same time, that shrill noise, for 4 hours, omg, i nearly wet my pants in fear. I was like, honestly people, this is probably more than 120dB and we're all gonna get NIHL now. But luckily it was all ok

 

[Amelia]

Hi everyone wanted to pop back in and say - we had a wonderful night

We went here (for anyone interested):
http://www.verandahrestaurant.com.au

After having such a run of bad days while seemingly doing everything "right" by my ears, I told my husband I was going to have a few drinks (I haven't had alcohol since onset, not that I was a big drinker before) but ended up chickening out on that because I could hear my T over the cars engine on the way there so I didn't want to risk upping it further, but everything else about the night was perfect.

We sat inside, which had been carpeted since we were there last so it wasn't nearly as noisy, and every other volume from music, staff ect was quite manageable so I didn't even need to use my earplugs. Plus the food was beyond amazing!

My ears were loud on the trip home, and still louder this morning, but I was expecting it to be worse, so all in all I'm really glad we went was nice to be spoilt!

 

[Karen]

Amelia,

Good for you!! I'm glad you went out, and had a wonderful time! When you begin doing that, in spite of your T, you'll find you can actually forget about it (sort of!) for awhile. The more you do it, the better things will get.

The restaurant looks like a lovely place, and I must admit that I did not know there was a wine country area in Australia.

Happy Valentine's Day to you and your husband!

Best wishes,
Karen

 

[I who love music]

Amelia, just divide and conquer.
Yes, you must be cautious. That's good.
Don't measure your T, it'll only 'grow.' Measure your response. Well, I guess you DID measure your response. Great.
So throw away that fear, it's no good, Be cautious, and Measure your response. If you do those things, expect a change.
.. in my opinion. 40 years of T talking here.

 

[Cher69]

Glad you had a lovely time . I've had a bad couple of weeks wrecked my sleep but I've stayed positive or tried and I got through and you will too xx

 

[billie48]

There you go, Amelia. I am really happy for you that you did go and had a great time. That is the way to deal with T. Just go ahead and enjoy life regardless of what T is going to do. Be prudent but don't let it dictate your life. Slowly you will lose the fear for T and its sound and you will be home free.

 

[Amelia]

Thanks everyone ... I seem to be paying for it this afternoon tho I've needed some heavy masking today.

Praying for a quieter day tomorrow

 

[Tamalak]

My advice: give in to your anger.

The fact that this is happening to you is wrong. It should not be.

The fact that doctors aren't even trying to cure a physical defect within 2 inches of known space is wrong. It should not be.

 

[Champ]

You just have to push those feelings aside and do it anyway. Feel the fear, but do it anyway. Nothing bad will happen. The more you talk yourself into the fact that you're scared, the worse you will feel and the scarier everything else will become. I'm scared of every sound also, but I push past and do it anyway. In class we were doing covering "feedback" and we literally got microphones and put them really close to speakers so we could hear the feedback. Now multiply this by 20 students all doing it at the same time, that shrill noise, for 4 hours, omg, i nearly wet my pants in fear. I was like, honestly people, this is probably more than 120dB and we're all gonna get NIHL now. But luckily it was all ok

Yeah, I've had some seriously loud events since getting T... and my tinnitus maintains as a strong high pitched 15 KHz noise. I haven't lost anymore hearing (can hear up to 15 KHz in my left ear, 16 KHz in my right ear) so it's quite alright. Can't wait for AM-101 to hit the scene though