You are not alone with this experience. Many members have said the same thing, myself included during the struggling time. I have a lady family friend who is know to have fiery temper but somehow she accepts her loud T well without the depression, anger, anxiety and sleeplessness. You may think her T is mild. But she told me she often couldn't hear what people were saying to her due to her loud ringing. She even joked that once her T was so loud that she couldn't hear the siren of a approaching fire truck coming to her apartment due to a false fire alarm. Yet despite this, she seems to embrace it all w/o any negative emotional suffering or trauma like me. I guess we have different DNAs. Lol.
Here is the success story of Jade, a lady truck driver who suffered badly initially from her super loud T, only to find out later than 70% of her colleagues also have T but no one suffer like her. With that realization, she somehow manages to turn around her reaction to T. I wish I could do that when the fiery lady friend first told me she's not suffering from her loud T. Lol. Here is Jades's story:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/6-months-tinnitus-still-going-strong-but-so-am-i.3226/
I guess this strange phenomenon is described as the 'herding' instinct. The more herding instinct, the more likely a person will flow along with life and not put up so much painful resistance to T as us, who are refusing to be 'herded' by T. We are like the valiant wild horses refusing to be tamed, like we are resisting T and refusing to be shackled and roped by T. Give ourselves some credit. We are the valiant warriors of T resistance. Perhaps we need to change our strategy to play a smarter 'war game' with T.
That is why I have learned to change my approach to positivity, to adopt the AAA approach - Accept, Adjust, and Adapt or Accommodate. After that life is much easier and I begin to habituate to my ultra high pitch T. I learn from a wise war veteran, who once posted 'I am a soldier and I fight for a living. But when it comes to tinnitus, I have learned to accommodate it instead of fighting it'. To have this wise 'non-fighting' advise coming from a fighting man has opened my eyes and helped me changed my strategy, from my painful & negative emotional resistance, to flowing with T & life with a positive attitude - the positivity approach. I try to bring positivity to the NOW, the moment right in front of us which we can still control to turn it a positive moment. Let the future be the future. It is not yet a reality. Let the past be the past. It is history and we can't do anything to change it. The only thing we can change and make a difference is the NOW. Make it a positive moment. Do enough of that and our life tends to be more positive and more enjoyable, despite T.
Think of our life like a deep ocean with rough surface turbulence like waves & storms, but deep down it is calm and full of life-thriving forces to support the vitality of the life forms of the ocean as a whole. We need that calmness of the deep despite the vicissitudes of life by staying positive. With positivity and some strategies from others and some of my own, I turn around my suffering, from darkness to light and I wrote my success story as below. Check it out if you have time. Also check out the most read success story on TT by IWLM, who is back to silence after 40 years of T with a simple but effective method. It may help you. God bless your recovery.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/from-darkness-to-light-how-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/
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