MemberI just felt like getting some thoughts down on "paper". When I'm writing, I have to focus, and the ringing kind of goes into the background.
I have been having tinnitus for three weeks now. I don't know if it's chronic yet. My doctor says it's not chronic before after one year. My hearing-loss has improved, but it's a far way to full recovery. So I'm not exactly very positive, but, that just my nature. I hope I am wrong this time too.
This is a very devastating situation. The hardest one in my life yet. I have been to two different ENT's, and my family doctor several times. There is no reason for my hearing loss. I was just free-diving, bad luck, shit happens. Nothing to do about it. Before this, I have never been on any medication what-so-ever. I almost never had fever, no ear infections. Nothing. Just a mild tinnitus, a humming, everyone have that if they listen closely.
Anyways, enough about me.
Today I was thinking about something. Why does this sound bother us? Its just a sound, just like every other sound. Except you can't do anything about it. But actually, if you think about it, you can't do anything about other sounds either. If you are driving your car, you can't switch off the sounds around you. If you are out having fun, you can't tell everyone to shut up, you can't tell the DJ too turn of the music. And, if you go out of the nightclub, there is still sounds. And if go from the street, to your bedroom. There sure is some sounds in there too. You see what I mean? There is always sounds, there is never silence, unless you go out in space, actually, our ears hate silence, if you are in silence for a long time, your ears can get sick, and you can develop hyperacusis.
I sat at the bus for 15 years to school. Everyday. There was always sounds around me. Humming, buzzing, people talking, people yelling, horns, bad brakes etc. It never bothered me. Never. Most of the time, I ignored it and did not even notice it. It was just sounds in the background, nothing more. Personally, I have never actually liked silence in the first place. I always liked to have at least some sound around me. Since the laptop era started, I always liked to have the laptop turned on because of the fan. I could, in the theory, been sitting in front of my laptop, with the fan on, for the rest of my life, and not get bothered by it. No matter how loud it is Weird? Yeah.
So, since we always hear sounds, and none of them bother us to the point of depression, anxiety and desperation. How can we train our self to feel the same way about our tinnitus? No matter how loud it is. There has to be some way. Do we just have to decide it? Like a on/off switch? There is no connection between the tinnitus and your feelings. It's not like the ringing fabric some substance into your blood, that goes to your brain and make you depressive. It feels like that, but it is just an illusion, at best.
I was doing a hearing test on my phone, actually, I have done it a million times now, just see if there is some improvement, while I pity myself. And every time I started the test, I was pissed because, cars had to drive in the street in front of my house just in the moment I took the test. (That was a long and heavy sentence). The point is, cars are driving there all the time. I only noticed it when I took the hearing test, because that destroyed the test-results pretty much. All other time my brain filtered it out to the point that I did not even hear it. Not even as a background sound.
We can even take it further. You always feel different things. When you are walking, you can feel the ground hitting your feet. If you are lying in your bed, you feel the gravity. You can feel your heart beating, you can always taste something inside your mouth, you can always smell something and, you can always see. Even if you close your eyes, you can still see black/red-ish.
So, my point is, we hear/feel what we focus on, and our brain is quite bad at multi-tasking when it comes to focus, at least we have some luck.
So, I have two questions I want to discuss with you.
1: How can we ignore our tinnitus to the point that we cannot hear it?..
2: ..And when we hear it, how can we cut the link between our tinnitus and our feelings? To the point where we are just thinking: "Oh, that sound, uyeaah, just a sound. lol. who cares". If you know what I mean?
I know this is a lot to read, but I had a lot of thoughts. Sorry if some words or phrases don't make sense. English is not my native language.
Good luck to everyone, I wish everyone only the best.
I have been having tinnitus for three weeks now. I don't know if it's chronic yet. My doctor says it's not chronic before after one year. My hearing-loss has improved, but it's a far way to full recovery. So I'm not exactly very positive, but, that just my nature. I hope I am wrong this time too.
This is a very devastating situation. The hardest one in my life yet. I have been to two different ENT's, and my family doctor several times. There is no reason for my hearing loss. I was just free-diving, bad luck, shit happens. Nothing to do about it. Before this, I have never been on any medication what-so-ever. I almost never had fever, no ear infections. Nothing. Just a mild tinnitus, a humming, everyone have that if they listen closely.
Anyways, enough about me.
Today I was thinking about something. Why does this sound bother us? Its just a sound, just like every other sound. Except you can't do anything about it. But actually, if you think about it, you can't do anything about other sounds either. If you are driving your car, you can't switch off the sounds around you. If you are out having fun, you can't tell everyone to shut up, you can't tell the DJ too turn of the music. And, if you go out of the nightclub, there is still sounds. And if go from the street, to your bedroom. There sure is some sounds in there too. You see what I mean? There is always sounds, there is never silence, unless you go out in space, actually, our ears hate silence, if you are in silence for a long time, your ears can get sick, and you can develop hyperacusis.
I sat at the bus for 15 years to school. Everyday. There was always sounds around me. Humming, buzzing, people talking, people yelling, horns, bad brakes etc. It never bothered me. Never. Most of the time, I ignored it and did not even notice it. It was just sounds in the background, nothing more. Personally, I have never actually liked silence in the first place. I always liked to have at least some sound around me. Since the laptop era started, I always liked to have the laptop turned on because of the fan. I could, in the theory, been sitting in front of my laptop, with the fan on, for the rest of my life, and not get bothered by it. No matter how loud it is Weird? Yeah.
So, since we always hear sounds, and none of them bother us to the point of depression, anxiety and desperation. How can we train our self to feel the same way about our tinnitus? No matter how loud it is. There has to be some way. Do we just have to decide it? Like a on/off switch? There is no connection between the tinnitus and your feelings. It's not like the ringing fabric some substance into your blood, that goes to your brain and make you depressive. It feels like that, but it is just an illusion, at best.
I was doing a hearing test on my phone, actually, I have done it a million times now, just see if there is some improvement, while I pity myself. And every time I started the test, I was pissed because, cars had to drive in the street in front of my house just in the moment I took the test. (That was a long and heavy sentence). The point is, cars are driving there all the time. I only noticed it when I took the hearing test, because that destroyed the test-results pretty much. All other time my brain filtered it out to the point that I did not even hear it. Not even as a background sound.
We can even take it further. You always feel different things. When you are walking, you can feel the ground hitting your feet. If you are lying in your bed, you feel the gravity. You can feel your heart beating, you can always taste something inside your mouth, you can always smell something and, you can always see. Even if you close your eyes, you can still see black/red-ish.
So, my point is, we hear/feel what we focus on, and our brain is quite bad at multi-tasking when it comes to focus, at least we have some luck.
So, I have two questions I want to discuss with you.
1: How can we ignore our tinnitus to the point that we cannot hear it?..
2: ..And when we hear it, how can we cut the link between our tinnitus and our feelings? To the point where we are just thinking: "Oh, that sound, uyeaah, just a sound. lol. who cares". If you know what I mean?
I know this is a lot to read, but I had a lot of thoughts. Sorry if some words or phrases don't make sense. English is not my native language.
Good luck to everyone, I wish everyone only the best.
Manager
