Why Today?

[UKJon]

Hello good people,

It's been a while since I posted because I've been doing really well and my anxiety levels had dropped considerably. I've been out quite a bit and socializing again. I've been attending mindfulness classes and I even went to see Henry Rollins (if you know him) perform his spoken word show in another city. My earplugs go with me just in case there is loud music although my T was due to prolonged stress.

It seemed as though I was really getting used to the noise. It consists of two parts. Firstly, the temporary reactive spike that I get after being outdoors or after hoovering or using the cooker fan. This fades after 15-20 minutes. The second part is the T that I get at night. I've been using an Oasis Sound Therapy System for some time and this nighttime T has actually backed off and faded somewhat. I even get silence at times.

If I use my shaver for a few minutes (which of course is close to my ears) after coming back indoors, the T is gone for a few seconds when I switch it off and then becomes noticeable again. Am I being tricked by anxiety? I cannot walk around with a shaver forever.

Today though, the panic was back again simply because I reminded myself that I have T and heard it again. It looks like I'm still not at the habituation finish line and I worry about going back to where I was last year battling all the horrible fears which I only want to forget forever. Habituation for me is like a house of cards and it's been well over a year now. When you have a few good days, it makes the bad one seem extra cruel as you have been thinking that you'll never have another.

Perhaps I need even more time?

Any thoughts?

I remain indepted to all those who have replied to me in the past and I hope and pray that this year will be better for everyone on this site although I know that there are always new sufferers each year that need support. Keep up the good work.

 

[AnxiousJon]

If stress and anxiety was the initial cause of your tinnitus, which your profile indicates, then there probably is a reciprocal relationship between your symptoms and the way you perceive them. You are noticing tinnitus, which causes anxiety, which causes more tinnitus.
It sounds like you have already caught on to this, but you are looking for confirmation, so, yeah, I agree with you.

 

[Anthony13]

Hello UKjon,
interesting post, and good to know you have been doing well.
You answered your question in your post a few lines from the end. 'Perhaps I need even more time?' yes, you probably do, but you are certainly going in the right direction!

I laughed about the bit with your shaver, giving you temporary relief from the T. And the thought of you walking around all day with it pressed to your face. might get a few funny looks, but hey....I'll take that any day for T relief. I can identify with that, as various things I find can offer some respite on a bad day. Mine can disappear for the rest of the day on occasions (not all the time, but there may be something worth researching), if I do some hoovering, Bath/shower or putting my head down low on the kitchen worktop listening to the kettle boil, (also not good for the complexion or electric bill !). These are all examples of masking I know, and a lot of people think FMRI or frequency matched residual inhibition help quite a lot.
Like you mention about being tricked by anxiety: sometimes when we can't hear our T by it being masked out, we briefly revert back to our normal levels of not being locked in a loop of continuous anxiety caused by our T. That is enough sometimes to actually switch off, or considerably lower the T signal we are perceiving. I think this happens for quite a lot of people.

You'll be fine Jon, you have had a temporary setback and the better times are just around the corner. Once the thoughts of panic and fear grab you out of the blue, it's so very easy to adopt the mindset we had when T first became a problem for us. These feelings can come out of nowhere, and set us back a bit. You will know inside when the time is right. Don't look for it, and it won't look for you.

I wish you all the very best

P.S If you don't mind a 'long' read, click on my name and read an old post I wrote a while back entitled ' The quest for expensive silence...'. you may get something from it which could help you.

 

[UKJon]

Thank you.

 

[billie48]

Setbacks are common on the road to habituation or for those with T long term. We are human. There are moments we get caught up by stresses of life, by other worries not related to T, and these can either cause T to spike or lower our level of tolerance of annoying sensations. Try to take these setbacks as bumps on the road of final destination, your habituation. If you mentally prepare that these are inevitable, then you will have better mental stamina every time the setbacks come. Take care. God bless.

 

[UKJon]

Wise words as always. Many thanks.

 

[glynis]

Hi @UKJon,
Great to hear your doing so well.
Try not let set backs set anxiety off and know you are doing so well getting out and socialising again.
So lovely hear your doing well....lots of love glynis x