Why You Shouldn't Be Afraid of Suicide Stories

[Bernard85]

Hi,

You shouldn't be afraid of tinnitus suicide stories. I will share a short story that took away a lot of my fear for tinnitus. Maybe it will help you too.

I have a friend, who has a friend with tinnitus. Let's just call him Tim. I was occasionally getting updates about his state and to be honest, it scared me at first. He had tinnitus and was suicidal. I think we have all heard the stories. There was even a woman in Holland that did euthanasia.

So in my mind, I was afraid that tinnitus might get so bad someday, that I might too be 'done' with life.

Tim committed suicide last month. I feel sorry for him and wish his relatives good fortune in the future.

In response, my fear for tinnitus grew. But later on, when my friend told the full story about Tim. He told me that Tim was very, very depressed long before the tinnitus started. Basically, he was suicidal long before he got tinnitus.

This opened my mind. People with or without tinnitus commit suicide, but when people do, we link tinnitus to the suicide. Which might have happened anyway. Unfortunately, there are so many people committing suicide, statistically it will only make sense if some of them have tinnitus.

Realizing this just made my fear of tinnitus much, much less than it was before.

What I want to say is: don't let these stories scare you.

Cheers.

 

[Elinor]

I think you're absolutely right. Tinnitus alone is not the killer, something else must be accompanying it. If you're already carrying a lot of baggage, tinnitus might just be that last drop.

 

[Onsdag]

He told me that Tim was very, very depressed long before the tinnitus started.

So tinnitus was the last straw. Can't locate helpfulness.

 

[Tinker Bell]

So tinnitus was the last straw. Can't locate helpfulness.

But if it was not tinnitus, it is quite possible something else would have been the last straw.

 

[Sean]

Hi,

You shouldn't be afraid of tinnitus suicide stories. I will share a short story that took away a lot of my fear for tinnitus. Maybe it will help you too.

I have a friend, who has a friend with tinnitus. Let's just call him Tim. I was occasionally getting updates about his state and to be honest, it scared me at first. He had tinnitus and was suicidal. I think we have all heard the stories. There was even a woman in Holland that did euthanasia.

So in my mind, I was afraid that tinnitus might get so bad someday, that I might too be 'done' with life.

Tim committed suicide last month. I feel sorry for him and wish his relatives good fortune in the future.

In response, my fear for tinnitus grew. But later on, when my friend told the full story about Tim. He told me that Tim was very, very depressed long before the tinnitus started. Basically, he was suicidal long before he got tinnitus.

This opened my mind. People with or without tinnitus commit suicide, but when people do, we link tinnitus to the suicide. Which might have happened anyway. Unfortunately, there are so many people committing suicide, statistically it will only make sense if some of them have tinnitus.

Realizing this just made my fear of tinnitus much, much less than it was before.

What I want to say is: don't let these stories scare you.

Cheers.

Thank you for your post. When I read a few stories about people who wants to commit suicide, I always knew they had suicidal tendencies from before.

I really believe there is a lot more going on with people who commit suicide.

 

[Bobbie7]

This opened my mind. People with or without tinnitus commit suicide, but when people do, we link tinnitus to the suicide.

Hi @Bernard85 - I agree with you.

As we all must be aware, there are many assorted stories listing suicide as a cause of demise. We can glance the papers, watch the news on TV and remark at its seeming prevalence since jaws tend to drop when we read that. What we are not privy to though, is the underlying cause of such self-termination and it can range from mental disorders which are not being successfully treated, to one losing a fortune, bullying, incurable debilitating health issues and other various reasons and I would guess that most are not related to tinnitus. While some are, they may have given clear indicators of their intention and perhaps were not taken seriously by family members or those others close to them. I feel in my heart of hearts that many members who speak of suicide do not really want to end their lives.. but rather only to have their suffering cease. No one wants to experience misery and there exists in each of us this intrinsic will to survive and overcome adversity.

I completely realize the emotional torment and suffering the worst cases of tinnitus can create but there will always be stories about suicide and even those members who may have committed the ultimate act may have had nothing in their lives to serve as motivation against. All people need purpose in life; some goal we wish to reach, someone to feel fondly toward or love or friend whose counsel we respect and admire, some thing to which we look forward and, of course, more importantly - hope that whatever seems dismal at present will abate and our situation shall change for the better in the future.

I feel strongly that tinnitus sufferers should not let affect them the fact that someone they know has committed suicide since there may be a myriad of reasons in addition to tinnitus which has most probably pushed them over the precipice. Tinnitus Talk is an excellent forum and one for which I feel we are all grateful --- a safe environment where we can all be fearlessly truthful about expressing our discontent/suffering as we deal with tinnitus and all related issues and be comforted by knowing we will receive input from supportive and helpful fellow members especially when we are feeling desperate.

 

[vermillion]

I don't think it's the actual act of suicide that scares me rather the possible suffering that can force you doing that. Luck of relaxation, sleep deprivation, social isolation and inability to stay productive. Those are essential for the health and sanity of oneself. Everyone's story is different but sometimes it pisses me off when tinnitus is underestimated especially from the medical community. It can be more then enough to push a human being to it's limits. Whether the call is 'pre-existing' depression, the cherry on top. There's a need for actual help that doesn't exist, for many Tims out there. It's frustrating...

 

[valeri]

Thank you for your post. When I read a few stories about people who wants to commit suicide, I always knew they had suicidal tendencies from before.

I really believe there is a lot more going on with people who commit suicide.

I have never had suicidal tendencies before tinnitus!

NEVER!!!! (and I've been through some really serious stuff in my life)

So your generalisation is totally wrong!

 

[Sean]

I have never had suicidal tendencies before tinnitus!

NEVER!!!! (and I've been through some really serious stuff in my life)

So your generalisation is totally wrong!

I guess there are always exceptions.

 

[valeri]

But if it was not tinnitus, it is quite possible something else would have been the last straw.

But.... his last straw was TINNITUS! Not something else!

 

[valeri]

I completely realize the emotional torment and suffering the worst cases of tinnitus can create but there will always be stories about suicide and even those members who may have committed the ultimate act may have had nothing in their lives to serve as motivation against.

Wow! Your ignorance is beyond anything I've read on this forum so far!

 

[valeri]

What killed Tim?

Tinnitus forum is thrilled to hear he had depression before tinnitus and conclude it was depression that killed him.

Depression forum would be thrilled to know he had depression but only killed himself after getting tinnitus so it must have been tinnitus!

So... cause of death?

Depends to which (un)lucky forum you belong.

Some tinnitus forum members will forever stay ignorant, brainwashed in almost a cult way to the fact that TINNITUS (not tinnitus) kills people!

 

[Lex]

People shouldn't be afraid of suicide stories because if it gets too much, it doesn't matter even if nobody else had committed suicide over ear problems before. You alone can decide if enough is enough.

As for what @Sean said, the risk of suicide is higher among people suffering from chronic illnesses. Depression is a consequence because that's the response of the brain to ceaseless unwanted stimuli. T is not just a sound to some people. For worse cases, it's accompanied by pain, or even there's no pain, it's loud enough to be as intrusive as pain.

Chronic Pain Harms the Brain: "People with unrelenting pain are often depressed, anxious and have difficulty making simple decisions. Researchers have identified a clue that may explain how suffering long-term pain could trigger these other pain-related symptoms. Researchers found that in people with chronic pain, a front region of the cortex associated with emotion fails to deactivate when it should. It's stuck on full throttle, wearing out neurons and altering their connections."

Look it up and other studies on the topic. The brain rewires itself into a brain with depression and anxiety. So if you end up committing suicide, people will say, ah it's the depression! And you know, they're correct. But we have to stop blaming depression and start accepting the root cause. It's time to acknowledge that some physical illnesses -- especially severe cases -- drive people to suicide.

Also wanted to add: This just crossed my mind ... Maybe the brain develops anxiety and depression in response to chronic pain so that you'd kill yourself. It's the brain's twisted way to help end your suffering. After all, T is the brain's twisted way to compensate for lost frequencies, the same way autoimmune disease is the brain's twisted way to protect you from harm.

 

[Pomme]

I have never had suicidal tendencies before tinnitus!

NEVER!!!! (and I've been through some really serious stuff in my life)

So your generalisation is totally wrong!

Couldn't agree more. I never understood how someone could simply give up on life until now.......

 

[Michael Leigh]

Couldn't agree more. I never understood how someone could simply give up on life until now.......

The answer is to never give up. I was once close to that point 7 years ago when I asked my doctor to be candid about my condition. She said I was the second worst tinnitus patient that she had met in all her years of practicing Audiovestibular medicine. I wanted for the floor to open and dive in then all my troubles would be over. She then said, I will never give up on treating you. I'm still here. Speak to your doctors and don't give up asking for help is my advice.

Michael

 

[Foncky]

There was even a woman in Holland that did euthanasia.

Please get your facts straight.

Gaby had tinnitus and severe hyperacusis.

It doesn't make sense to talk about "T". There are all kinds of T. There is T + H. There is mild H and severe H. There is T + H + hearing loss (or deafness!). There are... all sorts of hellish combinations.

Like valeri (valeri you're so great ), I NEVER had suicidal ideas before severe T and H. Never, never, never. I'm still here though. What will happen next I don't know and I don't care that much.

But yeah, I agree, don't be afraid of the stories you read. They are not yours. You make your own story and you know what's possible or not for you.

 

[josho771]

But.... his last straw was TINNITUS! Not something else!

Sorry but how do you know that? He already suffered with bad depression.. and how does anyone know that even if he didn't get T he might still have committed suicide. Nobody will know.

 

[Lorac]

I was never depressed or suicidal until I suddenly lost half of my hearing and every sound in my environment caused feedback and burning pain, on top of constant tinnitus. Then, thoughts of getting free from this prison consumed me. The severity of symptoms has to be factored in.
Mild tinnitus could be the final straw for someone who is clinically depressed and so could a bad hair day. I get that. However, severe T and H could push a person to the brink or over the brink, even if they were not previously depressed.

 

[attheedgeofscience]

The following publication (statistical analysis) looked into the relationship between suicide attempts and tinnitus. It was found that for the sub-group who attempted suicide, severe tinnitus was more common.

Key points were:

The link to the publication (paywalled):

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26147195

In short, the article confirms that there is an increase of suicide attempts for those who suffer from tinnitus (especially severe tinnitus). If anyone wants a copy of the article, I have one.

 

[vermillion]

I just do not understand why are we still debating the obvious, one more time in this forum. Tinnitus is more then enough to cause depression that may force you to commit suicide. It's like I try to convince my T-free friends who think I am crazy to think about killing myself over this. I thought people here have tinnitus like me.

 

[nills]

I have never had suicidal tendencies before tinnitus!

NEVER!!!! (and I've been through some really serious stuff in my life)

So your generalisation is totally wrong!

Do you take medication for your tinnitus? SSRI and anti anxiety meds give you thoughts of suicide. Read the disclaimer.

 

[vermillion]

Gaby had tinnitus and severe hyperacusis.

She started mild, she ended up awful. She stayed alive for 13 years trying. There's a thread here over this story where many members throwing the same bull-excrement. "She had depression, she quit, she had co-morbidities and other issues" (where tinnitus had nothing to do with all these?) The woman was crying at the camera saying that she really wanted to live, she had so much to offer but it was just impossible. She was tired of hoping.

She couldn't stand even being in her isolated house. Pity that she thought publishing her story would raise awareness around this malady. I suppose somewhere in her suffering she totally forgot how people detest the truth and love sugar-coated served nonsense. For them she acted selfishly and irrationally. Applause.

 

[Foncky]

She started mild, she ended up awful. She stayed alive for 13 years trying. There's a thread here over this story where many members throwing the same bull-excrement. "She had depression, she quit, she had co-morbidities and other issues" (where tinnitus had nothing to do with all these?) The woman was crying at the camera saying that she really wanted to live, she had so much to offer but it was just impossible. She was tired of hoping.

She couldn't stand even being in her isolated house. Pity that she thought publishing her story would raise awareness around this malady. I suppose somewhere in her suffering she totally forgot how people detest the truth and love sugar-coated served nonsense. For them she acted selfishly and irrationally. Applause.

Yep
She doesn't get the respect she deserves, especially here on TT. There is far more compassion and understanding in the YouTube comments.

Mild tinnitus (temporary) sufferers are the worst advocates for hearing problems. They just don't get that their symptoms are not like all the others. Once they habituate, they leave everyone behind, spreading the message that "tinnitus is fine, you just get used to it". I know, I did it several times (you are proud and want to show you were able to overcome this issue) before I got way worse.

I know several people with serious health issues who would absolutely not trade it with mine. They tell me they can't even imagine what it must be like to live with severe hyperacusis and crazy tinnitus and hearing loss.

 

[Elinor]

Although she not right in this case, since all problems are surpassable as Valery says, except tinnitus.

Yeah... tinnitus is obviously the only non-surpassable problem one can have in life. People dying, loss of limbs... other chronic illnesses, pains and so on, all petty and insignificant problems compared to tinnitus. We truly have the worst of it. Poor us... nobody can possible know struggle unless they've had tinnitus.... : P

#ScarasmIsStrongHere

 

[Elinor]

But.... his last straw was TINNITUS! Not something else!

Totally could have been something else though. That was just his situation. As if other people have not had shit lives and then some other bad thing happened (that was not tinnitus) and became their last straw...

Something will always be the last straw and for some that straw is tinnitus but not everyone.

 

[vermillion]

We truly have the worst of it.

Well @Elinor I understand the sarcastic tone. Tinnitus may not probably be the worst but it may be one of the worst. The luck of positive progress of this condition is overwhelming.

The previous week my best friend had his wedding. He suffers from an auto-immune kidney disease. He's also a doctor. So far he has consumed tones of drugs. Anyway, I tried to tell him about my condition. He surely was missing the context. I told him I would trade mind with hims. You see he is able to be productive and he can take a break from this. With tinnitus there's no break. It drains your existence out of you. I couldn't attend his wedding. I felt so miserable.

Sometimes I feel better and I try to resume my activities and try to stay optimistic, but as @Foncky said, manageable symptoms are usually temporary. My friend yesterday told me that after many years his illness spontaneously went in sleep mode. With tinnitus this ain't gonna happen.

And please I don't want to see once again this controversial paper regarding the spontaneous recovery during the first 2 years. This thing is a greedy beast that won't get fed up till it sucks your whole brain and sanity.

And it won't even make you the favor to literally kill you. You have to do it on you own.

How bitchy is this?

 

[Tinker Bell]

Yeah... tinnitus is obviously the only non-surpassable problem one can have in life. People dying, loss of limbs... other chronic illnesess, pains and so on, all petty and insignificant problems compared to tinnitus. We truly have the worst of it. Poor us... nobody can possible know struggle unless they've had tinnitus.... : P

#ScarasmIsStrongHere

I appreciate the sarcasm.

I had this mindset in the darkest parts of depression and anxiety. I was absolutely sure that nothing could be worse than tinnitus and hyperacusis.

I've said this before -- I can think of many conditions that I would prefer to tinnitus, but I now can also recognize that there are other chronic health conditions that I would not want. That's the catch, we do not get to pick and choose our sufferings in life.

I think perspective is important, too. I have a friend who lost their child. They would trade their pain for mine without hesitation, but I would never trade for their pain.

 

[vermillion]

You also seem to handle a sarcastic tone or a double moral, because everything you say in your last comments is fine, but when you see anybody complain of tinnitus, you tell that he needs help, which goes against everything that he has said and he knows that no one can cure him, nor help.

For what reason keep alive someone who has a disease that is sucking his brain and sanity and from which he will never recover, and will not even do him the favor of killing the sick, like you say?

No dear. My main argument with you is that you don't agree to the severity scale. Mild is manageable. Severe is hell. Mild is habituable. Severe is probably not. Some have it mild during their lifetime and habituate which you dont accept. No double morals. And yes, we all need help. Don't we?

 

[Alue]

Mild tinnitus (temporary) sufferers are the worst advocates for hearing problems. They just don't get that their symptoms are not like all the others. Once they habituate, they leave everyone behind, spreading the message that "tinnitus is fine, you just get used to it".

Quoted for truth. I think mild tinnitus "sufferers" are one of the biggest reasons why tinnitus and hyperacusis are not taken seriously.

 

[vermillion]

I already imagined that you were going to get any excuse to apologize or deny your double moral. I say it because it always happens to me in any forum of any topic in which one participates, it does not have to be tinnitus. All participants find a pretext at the speed of light, never missing and this increases the probability that their pretext is simple rubbish.

I respect your opinion. After all I don't take it personal. Let me explain my 'double moral'.

I am a very empathetic person. When I see people that try to stay optimistic or have managed habituation I would never tell that this is wrong. Mainly because they feel this way. (Regardless if I agree or not with the habituation approach) You can't go to someone who claims that has made peace with his subjective experience not to do it because it's wrong and because this can't be truth cause it's a Chinese torture etc. etc.

On the other hand I can't judge the ones who are considering suicide, since they cannot take it anymore. However I wouldn't advice someone to take this root, but as I said like for Gabys story, I don't judge. I understand. So I just happen to believe that things aren't only black or white. I know this can get very serious.

Tinnitus is highly heterogeneous like people. I just don't like to project my dark thoughts on the people who try to stay optimistic like you do and the same time I don't like when others underestimate the pain of the ones that suffers extremely.

If that "double moral" annoys you, I can't do nothing about it.