Why You Shouldn't Be Afraid of Suicide Stories
- Thread starter Bernard85
- Start date
Member
There's a few things that always comfort me during T.
- We're not going through this alone.
- There's probably someone else in this world who has worse T than me.
- I still have moments where I can laugh and enjoy even though it is not silence anymore.
- I have seen a lot of awareness and there are a lot of studies/experiments going, seeing as technology grows exponentially I keep on thinking there will be a person that can provide a treatment for this in the future.
Edit:
I've asked myself for quite a while now, but what is considered mild? My T has 7 sounds, one low hum of 50hz that is luckily going back where it came from, the rest is in a higher spectrum. I hear it everywhere accept in the shower. I guess that it has to be 65 decibels when I compare it to the shower (70 decibels) and other sounds. I know some people have it way worse though but what do I have? Is my T mild?
- We're not going through this alone.
- There's probably someone else in this world who has worse T than me.
- I still have moments where I can laugh and enjoy even though it is not silence anymore.
- I have seen a lot of awareness and there are a lot of studies/experiments going, seeing as technology grows exponentially I keep on thinking there will be a person that can provide a treatment for this in the future.
Edit:
I've asked myself for quite a while now, but what is considered mild? My T has 7 sounds, one low hum of 50hz that is luckily going back where it came from, the rest is in a higher spectrum. I hear it everywhere accept in the shower. I guess that it has to be 65 decibels when I compare it to the shower (70 decibels) and other sounds. I know some people have it way worse though but what do I have? Is my T mild?
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
I think it's fear. People need to have something else to blame because the truth is scary. I'm not just talking about tinnitus and hyperacusis, but things in general. I see it all the time.
But really, in the end, how many people do commit suicide? What I find sadder are the stories of people who'd rather be dead than continue suffering from their chronic illness, but can't commit suicide for whatever reason. The bigger problem here is the low quality of life.
- Feb 5, 2017
- 787
- Tinnitus Since
- 2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Fluconazole
Never did that to anybody. I have "attacked" you specifically in the past when you were negative on people that claimed to be doing better, and you tried so eagerly to convince them that they've been experiencing a fallacy. You did that as well in the chat room. That was my text to you on the matter:
@Equalizer do not generalize on false assumptions, pretending that you know me just because I had been disagreeing with your behaviour. Anyway, I truly wish you to find relief. I don't underestimate your pain but it seems that you don't understand the point of my argument. I will not debate further with you. I've been very frank on all my posts.
- Aug 21, 2014
- 5,049
- Tinnitus Since
- 1999
- Cause of Tinnitus
- karma
whenever my thinking goes to that darkest of places, this little ditty about the universality and futility of suicide always cheers me up
Every time a churchbell rings, another angel gets their wings
Every time a churchbell rings, another angel gets their wings
That's a very simplistic and dismissive way of seeing things. It's like saying depression kills no one.
In my opinion the initial thread is very misleading.
What it really says is, that tinnitus is one but not the only reason for suicide. Who would doubt that?
I think almost always suicide has not one but several reasons. If tinnitus is one of the major ones, it's bad enough.
Also severe T never comes alone, but brings a bunch of problems.
The common person is normally already loaded around 80% with daily life problems like work, minor health issues, mental problems, family concerns...
The remaining 20% are the the buffer for extraordinary problems.
Tinnitus can be more than 20% and it can be so for a long long time. So in my opinion tinnitus is one of the best reasons for suicide but of course not the only one.
What it really says is, that tinnitus is one but not the only reason for suicide. Who would doubt that?
I think almost always suicide has not one but several reasons. If tinnitus is one of the major ones, it's bad enough.
Also severe T never comes alone, but brings a bunch of problems.
The common person is normally already loaded around 80% with daily life problems like work, minor health issues, mental problems, family concerns...
The remaining 20% are the the buffer for extraordinary problems.
Tinnitus can be more than 20% and it can be so for a long long time. So in my opinion tinnitus is one of the best reasons for suicide but of course not the only one.
I don't find any confort in knowing other people are suffering this condition and i feel terrible for people who have it worse.
By your description i'd desccribe the volume of your T as moderate, but it's how much distress it causes you that is what truly makes it mild, moderate or severe.
I would choose my hearing loss with persistent T and H over burying a child or grandchild. Without a doubt.
- Aug 21, 2014
- 5,049
- Tinnitus Since
- 1999
- Cause of Tinnitus
- karma
the best reason to not be afraid of any given thing is to ask yourself "is this fear in any way productive / preventing me from taking some detrimental course of action". In general, the things which we ruminate about and suffer from fearfully, are not things which it is to our advantage to be fearful of. Compared to, say, the fear of suddenly accelerating to 120mph on the highway with our eyes closed, which is probably a useful fear.
So, from this we can conclude that pretty much any constant anxiety is counterproductive - therefore we have a good reason to not be afraid of that thing, and we should be aware rationally that this thinking is amplifying our own distress.
Actually stopping oneself from feeling that fear, is, of course, a much harder and less straightforward matter. Generally people who have success with this, do it through a long, hard and painful personal process. They are then prone to (if they still post on boards like this at all anymore) making threads about how they are "doing better", and their "daily routine" of x,y,z (fill in the blanks from this helpful superset: { yoga, meditation, exercise, diet, CBT, psychotherapy, spiritual practices, etc }). These threads are generally then dismissed as "willful blindness", "mumbo-jumbo" or, less nicely, "bullshit" by people who are still in a distress state.
The degree to which people in the "high distress" camp are able over time to eventually move to the "doing better" camp, and the degree to which that transition relates to voluntary, conscious behavior vs involuntary factors such as genetics, disease severity, etc -- is not known or well understood at this time. I am explicitly calling this out, lest anyone accuse me of victim blaming. I am not suggesting that these things are necessarily under much conscious control; some people have a lot more to come to grips with than other luckier souls do. That said, one thing I have anecdotally witnessed is that people who are convinced that optimism is the best course of action sometimes seem to improve, whereas people who seem convinced that pessimism is the only reasonable mindstate seldom or never seem to improve, at least until there is a shift in that belief. Certainly, beliefs are a lot more plastic than physical realities like tinnitus. Once suffering is our default behavior, it is much easier and less challenging to simply continue to suffer, than to be willing to examine and let go of our most deeply held beliefs about ourselves and our lives.
The really interesting thing to me is how little any of this has to do with tinnitus per se: you can observe this basic pattern in any number of threads here, but also on any number of other health boards dedicated to things like chronic pain, anxiety disorders, fibromyalgia, etc.
So, from this we can conclude that pretty much any constant anxiety is counterproductive - therefore we have a good reason to not be afraid of that thing, and we should be aware rationally that this thinking is amplifying our own distress.
Actually stopping oneself from feeling that fear, is, of course, a much harder and less straightforward matter. Generally people who have success with this, do it through a long, hard and painful personal process. They are then prone to (if they still post on boards like this at all anymore) making threads about how they are "doing better", and their "daily routine" of x,y,z (fill in the blanks from this helpful superset: { yoga, meditation, exercise, diet, CBT, psychotherapy, spiritual practices, etc }). These threads are generally then dismissed as "willful blindness", "mumbo-jumbo" or, less nicely, "bullshit" by people who are still in a distress state.
The degree to which people in the "high distress" camp are able over time to eventually move to the "doing better" camp, and the degree to which that transition relates to voluntary, conscious behavior vs involuntary factors such as genetics, disease severity, etc -- is not known or well understood at this time. I am explicitly calling this out, lest anyone accuse me of victim blaming. I am not suggesting that these things are necessarily under much conscious control; some people have a lot more to come to grips with than other luckier souls do. That said, one thing I have anecdotally witnessed is that people who are convinced that optimism is the best course of action sometimes seem to improve, whereas people who seem convinced that pessimism is the only reasonable mindstate seldom or never seem to improve, at least until there is a shift in that belief. Certainly, beliefs are a lot more plastic than physical realities like tinnitus. Once suffering is our default behavior, it is much easier and less challenging to simply continue to suffer, than to be willing to examine and let go of our most deeply held beliefs about ourselves and our lives.
The really interesting thing to me is how little any of this has to do with tinnitus per se: you can observe this basic pattern in any number of threads here, but also on any number of other health boards dedicated to things like chronic pain, anxiety disorders, fibromyalgia, etc.
- May 12, 2015
- 136
- Tinnitus Since
- 04/2015
- Cause of Tinnitus
- One loud indoor concert
Totally agree with you Val. I was very happy with life. I haven't been on this site and commented for a long while. There are some great people here, but also some very ignorant attitudes by some which are not supportive. I think we both know that is why many people eventually disappear from TT - not because they feel better.
There are some good people here. I mostly come here to chat and commiserate when tinnitus is bothering me the most. I treat it like a support group. It's not hard to ignore the unsupportive and ignorant, but I find them few and far between.
Mostly there are some people where anxiety or OCD is their main problem and not hearing issues, which is perfectly fine as long as they don't get preachy about it.
I am not afraid of suicide. I would feel frightened if there where no other option than suffering, suffering and suffering. In some cases, death is a way out. I respect the ones who coud not take it anymoer and took the decision based on finishing their own phisically existence.
I do respect life, death and people´s chocies.
I do respect life, death and people´s chocies.
Leslie robertson
Member
- Sep 15, 2018
- 1
- Tinnitus Since
- 09/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Dirt in my right ear from work. Had them both cleaned.
Ringing is so loud I haven't slept in days.I'm so tired, sick and weak I can't eat. I've been researching painless suicide all night. Eating sleep aids like candy, they just make me drousy and weak. I have no apatite so nervous and shakey. Just want to sleep. I just want to sleep!
Hang in there... your T is fairly new. There's a good chance that it will get better in time.
Good luck!
Never ever assume that your Tinnitus is the same as others.
You 'sound' blissfully unaware of the devastation that catastrophic, or severe Tinnitus can cause.
It can be tortuously loud permanently intrusive noise, from which the only possible escape one can imagine, is the end game.
And to you, this is just down to "mindset,"is it?
I am sorry to have to say this to you, but your comment is insulting, demeaning, and very harmful.
- Mar 6, 2018
- 496
- Tinnitus Since
- Jan 20/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Most likely accoustic trauma
Indeed it is sad to see this kind of ignorance from someone who should know better..
You would expect this kind of talk from a person who is completelly unaware of Tinnitus and what it does to people regardless of their "mindset".
Maybe she should explain this to one of the posters above, whom hasn't slept for couple days because intrusive tinnitus won't let them.
For all the years that TT has been running, and that knowledgable intelligent people have been posting astute items, we have still not reached the stage where the variation in severity, and the consequent difference in the impact on sufferers lives is accepted and recognised.
Such posts as "just choose happiness - go out and enjoy the sunshine - change your mindset" - are disgraceful and an insult to anybody's intelligence.
I truly despair at the ignorance.
Such posts as "just choose happiness - go out and enjoy the sunshine - change your mindset" - are disgraceful and an insult to anybody's intelligence.
I truly despair at the ignorance.
I'm sorry but choosing happiness is really great advice. You certainly do not have to take it. Tinnitus sucks but so do a lot of other things. I have a quadriplegic neighbor who I see waking his dog everyday. I've talked to him several times and he's just a ray of sunshine. I'm sure he suffers but he still gets out with his dog. Pain is relative. We all have pain and suffering in our lives but you must try and find the good in life and do our best not to suffer from our pain.
- Mar 6, 2018
- 496
- Tinnitus Since
- Jan 20/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Most likely accoustic trauma
Honestly when someone throws out these pseudo spiritual cliches such as "it's your mindset" or "happiness is a choice", I feel like punching them square in the face.
When they get upset, I would inform them them, that they are approaching this in the wrong and negative way...
They should just chose to be happy instead and smile, while I punch them couple more times..
On a different note, I always thought that the reason my buddy gets drunk after couple beers was his genetic makeup and low tolerance to alcohol...I will now explain to him, that it's all in his head and he can make a choice not to feel drunk instead..
'Wow - if only our suicide cases had come to you for counselling, things could have turned out so much nicer......!!!!!'
I'm sorry but your analogy doesn't really make much sense. You have choices in life. You can choose to be miserable or not. You can choose to be either positive or negative. We may not be able to choose our pain by we most certainly can choose how we deal with our pain. I never said it was easy.
And they should have talked with you?! Maybe they read to many nagative posts and think there was no way out? No one knows what a person thinks when they commit suicide. Our brains are so complex. Our brains trick us into believing there is no happiness left. Suicide is so tragic and I really hope that if anyone who has thoughts of suicide to please reach out for help. Choosing happiness is great advice but never said it was so easy to get there. You try and work towards it. I know it's more complex than just the simple statement. I understand that. Life is complex and life isn't easy. But what other choice do we have?
In the face of unbelievable torment,
you choose to go on spouting "piffle" ?!?!?!
I lack the patience to converse with you.......
- May 9, 2017
- 929
- Tinnitus Since
- 2013
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise-induced
If my pain leaves me bedbound, no amount of positivity allows me to leave my bed. Recently my pain has been mild and I've had a lot more energy to do things. Again, not due to a sudden change of heart but simply because I'm in less pain.
Same applies to tinnitus. If it's severe it can be debilitating. We're not talking about average cases here.
And no one is saying that a life with severe tinnitus isn't worth it. No one is saying that you shouldn't reach out if you're struggling.
But severe sufferers are repeatedly being told that it can't be that bad, that it can't be debilitating, that we wouldn't suffer as much if we just changed our attitude and that's simply not true. (And again we're talking about severe cases, not your average person with tinnitus, there's a difference)
And Jazzer is one of the most positive, supportive members on here. But even he will get attacked if he dares to say that tinnitus can be horrible! He's simply stating the truth but now even he gets labeled as a negative person. That's just ridiculous.
Lastly, let me tell you other disabled people I know are also sick and tired of being told that it's a matter of having the right mindset. Not sure why everyone loves to say 'at least it's not cancer' or 'at least you're not in a wheelchair!' whenever severe tinnitus comes up.
Same applies to tinnitus. If it's severe it can be debilitating. We're not talking about average cases here.
And no one is saying that a life with severe tinnitus isn't worth it. No one is saying that you shouldn't reach out if you're struggling.
But severe sufferers are repeatedly being told that it can't be that bad, that it can't be debilitating, that we wouldn't suffer as much if we just changed our attitude and that's simply not true. (And again we're talking about severe cases, not your average person with tinnitus, there's a difference)
And Jazzer is one of the most positive, supportive members on here. But even he will get attacked if he dares to say that tinnitus can be horrible! He's simply stating the truth but now even he gets labeled as a negative person. That's just ridiculous.
Lastly, let me tell you other disabled people I know are also sick and tired of being told that it's a matter of having the right mindset. Not sure why everyone loves to say 'at least it's not cancer' or 'at least you're not in a wheelchair!' whenever severe tinnitus comes up.
