Worried About Getting Into a Relationship/Dating

#31
I got T while already in a relationship and I am positive that it has actually made me a better partner. I can empathize a lot more with my partner (who has a chronic pain, a very comparable ailment), and the humility I needed to learn while relying on her for emotional support - that was a big one.

You're only a bit younger than me but already I bet you've noticed that most people have some health issue that occupies a bit of their attention. If anyone is weirded out by a less-than perfect bill of health, well they are probably a bit immature to be dating anyway. Especially if you have a good attitude about it, most people will admire your resilience.

And honestly, love-making is the best T-masker available, so that's a great incentive to get out there!
 
#32
After reading your post I asked my wife when it was I told her I had tinnitus. She said about 10 years after we were married maybe. I asked her what she thought when I told her my ears ring all the time. She said, "I thought you should have listened to your dad (when I was young) and not played music so loud."
 
#33
I'm 32 and my boyfriend is 39. We have been dating for 8 months. I told him right away about the T. I had to because my T reacts to his TV set... LOL!!

Sometimes I plug my ears when a sound is too loud and he knows why. It didn't cause any awkwardness between us...
 
#35
Rachiejo said:
I'm a bit worried and nervous about dating and getting into a relationship with this condition! I haven't actually been in a proper relationship since I got tinnitus which is about 2 years ago and I think it's cause of fear of rejection and telling them about it.

I know it's probably silly to worry about this but it's difficult at the age of 23 to tell someone who you might be interested in. I tend to sleep without any background noise at night but I worry what they will think if I might struggle sleeping and have to turn background noise on or wear earplugs if we went anywhere with loud music.

It would be so much easier to meet someone with T who actually understands what it's like! :( Has anyone met someone after having T and how soon & how did you tell them you had the condition? :)
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To be honest, I myself have a bit of trouble getting into relationship because of it, but the women I fall in love with love meditation and yoga so ... yeah ... that stuff is all about silence and inner peace... I think if you just meet someone and you can have fun together and do things that make you forget about T you really should not worry. Also never step into a relationship thinking it is for life ... don`t even think it is for 1 week ... just enjoy moment to moment ... whatever comes let it come, whatever goes let it go ... this way you will learn to be happy and let others be happy ... simple.
 
#36
Who cares? They will respect your condition or they wont which means you shouldn't be with them, personally dating someone with a condition makes them interesting, and you have to care for them which will strengthen the relationship. Im 23 with t also.
 
#37
People date others who have missing limbs, psychotic illness, severe depression, agrophobia, .... all sorts. On the grand scheme of things, while we know how much we can suffer at times with T, telling someone you need to use and aid to sleep is pretty minor.... and as bobdigi says, fuck him if he thinks otherwise.
 
#40
@RichL thanks for your post :) Definitely made me feel more positive about the future!! What did your wife say when your told her about your tinnitus?

I think it's the initial telling someone about it that scares me a bit! :)
 
#44
Rachiejo said:
@RichL thanks for your post :) Definitely made me feel more positive about the future!! What did your wife say when your told her about your tinnitus?

I think it's the initial telling someone about it that scares me a bit! :)
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I don't really think she said that much, just asked how I got it and I explained to her virtually straight off that I have to wear earplugs wherever I go.
I think she was too infatuated with me to worry about anything like that.:) I was with her as well but don't tell her that!:LOL:

Your a good looking woman @Rachiejo, I don't think there would be many guy's out there that will worry too much about you having T!
If they do, there probably not that interested in you as a person anyway.

It's sure to get easier with time and natural habituation, so you can at least go to bars and places with ear plugs and I know that wouldn't worry me.

Take care Rich
 
#45
@MattK we actually broke up recently (my decision). Doing well and happy :) T is still not a big part of my life and I'm mostly habituated. :)
 
#47
I think Rachiejo may be more worried not about the fact, that T makes her anyhow less interesting or love worthy, but that it may limit her in some activities that such young people tend to practice. Am I correct or am I just projecting ? 11 years of relationship in my case. When I got T my boyfriend admitted he does too. I had no idea. Only he must be extremely habituated cause it doesn't bother him a iota and he doesn't take care about his ears : /
 
#48
@Gosia it worries me of what they will think when I tell them I have tinnitus cause most people associate it with older people.

I still go to places with loud music occasionally with ear plugs so that doesn't worry me :)

That's good that your other half has habituated that he doesn't care at all! :)
 
#49
Ah, ok :) . If you only worry about what they will think and associate then everything was said already. I'm sure you're not following any moronic people but probably smart and sensitive and these kind of people will understand :) Or most of them may simply not know what it is and not have any association at all. As I wrote, projectin on you, my only worry would be that I may not participate in every event my other half would like to participate ( which is already the case in my life..and my man is a concert - goer ) . I never thought it makes me any less of a woman or human being, maybe more - you're stronger, wiser, braver - think this way :)
 
#52
My hearing is getting bad..I am 53,, yeh i worry about all the pink and white noise I need to blast 24-7 in my house and car to mask the tinnitus.I have to avoid many loud places and event even w ear plugs....I have to wear ear plugs..Soon I will need to ear plug and hearing aids....And switching back and forth between the 2. Hearing can be a bitch even w hearing aids..And I have other issues health related as well..It's draining and robs me of my self confidence and self esteem and adds to my worry, fear, anxiety, depression and hopelessness and drains the hell out me energy wise..I take a of medications and supplements everyday, wear a nightguard at night for teeth grinding, am dealing with sexual impotency issues, struggling to find a job at age 53, wear glasses since age, have GERD or acid reflux which means I need to avoid certain foods and beverages and cannot drink anymore..Of course I got high blood pressure and other shit to deal with..
 

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