Worried Nobody Will Date Me?

[Alexiskaye]

Tinnitus is hard on its own but the anxiety I've experienced since is even worse.

I am 17 years old. Before tinnitus, I was extremely social and active. I attended high school football games, dances, concerts, participated in dance and theater, and chorus. I thrived for these things. I love people and dancing and social events.

I've been trying to keep a positive attitude with tinnitus but it's so hard. My friends don't understand and I feel like a burden to those around me. I miss social events and have terrible anxiety I'll never get to do anything I love again. I'm so scared that I won't ever get asked on dates because I can't do anything or be in loud places. I am so scared and sad. I wake up with a pit in my stomach, and sort of obsess over the tinnitus. I live in fear that my tinnitus is going to get worse and I can't enjoy doing anything because of the anxiety. I need some positivity PLEASE. I need to feel like my life is still going to be good. Id love to hear any form of positivity or success stories or ANYTHING. Thanks

 

[Amiel]

Tinnitus is hard on its own but the anxiety I've experienced since is even worse.

I am 17 years old. Before tinnitus, I was extremely social and active. I attended high school football games, dances, concerts, participated in dance and theater, and chorus. I thrived for these things. I love people and dancing and social events.

I've been trying to keep a positive attitude with tinnitus but it's so hard. My friends don't understand and I feel like a burden to those around me. I miss social events and have terrible anxiety I'll never get to do anything I love again. I'm so scared that I won't ever get asked on dates because I can't do anything or be in loud places. I am so scared and sad. I wake up with a pit in my stomach, and sort of obsess over the tinnitus. I live in fear that my tinnitus is going to get worse and I can't enjoy doing anything because of the anxiety. I need some positivity PLEASE. I need to feel like my life is still going to be good. Id love to hear any form of positivity or success stories or ANYTHING. Thanks

You look HOT, you are bright, you are YOUNG, ANY MAN would kill another man to date you! You would turn straight women into lesbians! Trust me I know what I'm saying.

 

[Alexiskaye]

Hi! I'm sorry, I should've given more information, but I actually got tinnitus from a virus. Labyrinthitis. I lost the hearing in my right ear. I can hear but just can't make out what people are saying. High frequency hearing loss. If it doesn't improve in 2 months, I'll get fitted for a hearing aid. Hoping maybe the hearing aid will help with T.

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Alexiskaye

Thank you for the additional information. I have written articles on positivity and tinnitus and you will find them in the links below.
All the best
Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/positivity-and-tinnitus.12060/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/acquiring-a-positive-mindset.23969/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/inspiration.22894/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-big-picture.19308/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/staying-positive-with-tinnitus.12392/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-art-of-tinnitus.12066/

 

[Tinker Bell]

I have severe hearing loss in my right ear from labyrinthitis, too. We're heading into cold and flu season, so that is adding to my own anxiety about going out.

I've lost frequencies above 4K. I tried a hearing aid and it seemed to help, but I decided to hold off a bit on purchasing one. I wish you luck if you get one. There are some brands (Widex) that work for hearing loss up to 12k.

I wanted to address your initial question about social interactions with tinnitus. There have been similar worries posted by other members. And there have been very positive stories, too.

Being able to spend time with friends and family was one of my initial concerns. Rather than dwell on what I cannot do, I try to focus on what I can still do. I still go to restaurants, I just go at off peak times and look for quieter places to eat (for example a booth versus a table near the kitchen). I have more one-on-one conversations with friends versus noisy group conversations, and the end result has been that I have really strengthened those friendships.

I have skipped the movies, but saved money and watched movies at home. I avoided the loud local pools this summer, but took my kids to a lovely quiet beach and our neighbors' pool.

I recently took a vacation to the beach and several amusement parks. I wore noise canceling headphones on the plane, my earplugs throughout the parks, avoided very crowded areas, and overall had a great time. Do I wish I had not had hearing loss and tinnitus on my vacation? Absolutely. But, I am still glad that I went.

 

[GregCA]

I've lost frequencies above 4K. I tried a hearing aid and it seemed to help, but I decided to hold off a bit on purchasing one. I wish you luck if you get one. There are some brands (Widex) that work for hearing loss up to 12k.

@Telis - you were asking about hearing aids for HF losses, I believe. See above.

 

[Tinker Bell]

@Telis - you were asking about hearing aids for HF losses, I believe. See above.

I think it's their Beyond version. Of course, now I cannot find my brochures from the audiologist. I tried one that went to 10k. May not seem significant, but when you have severe hearing loss at that frequency, it was interesting. It needed more adjustments, but even the basic tweaks had me noticing more sounds.

 

[fishbone]

Dating with tinnitus can be a challenge, for sure. I am back into dating myself and it takes a lot of effort. My hearing is poor (wears no hearing aid) and the tinnitus is extremely loud. My hearing loss bothers me more, than the screaming tea kettle from hell that lives in my head.

I think it's way easier to date if you are a gal, pretty and young. For guys it can be more challenging. Choosing where to take a date is harder. I know that from my own situation, i need to take my date/gal to a spot /place/event that will bring some excitement. Going to a boring spot, can ruin the moods. So, yes dating is a challenge and having poor ears can be challenging.

It all boils, down to meeting someone that understands YOUR situation and likes YOU for who you are and can accept what issues, you are facing.

I just remembered, i was at the supermarket talking with this gal that just graduated college. She was DEMOing a health product and i am a fitness junkie myself. I was talking with her for 20 minutes and really liked how motivated and smart she was and how DAMN FINE she was too

I was thinking to myself, how in the hell can i make this type of gal get excited. she's way younger than i am. Music and a lively life is how many live and I cannot just change my life and conform to their lives. It's a challenge and she was beyond beautiful and very fit. Just gotta go after, what you want in life and give it a try. That's my motto

Good luck!

 

[GregCA]

I think it's their Beyond version. Of course, now I cannot find my brochures from the audiologist. I tried one that went to 10k. May not seem significant, but when you have severe hearing loss at that frequency, it was interesting. It needed more adjustments, but even the basic tweaks had me noticing more sounds.

Thanks for the info. I'm also interested in this since I also have bad HF losses, and I feel my current aid doesn't really do much for those frequencies (Oticon miniRite).

 

[Tinker Bell]

Thanks for the info. I'm also interested in this since I also have bad HF losses, and I feel my current aid doesn't really do much for those frequencies (Oticon miniRite).

I do not mean to sound like a salesperson — especially since I have not yet even bought one — but Widex has zen tones for tinnitus and I found those more soothing than static white noise.

My only hesitation is: how do I protect my hearing while wearing an over-the-ear hearing aid? It's not like I can use an earplug, and even earmuffs will not work. Not a question for this thread, I realize.

 

[Alexiskaye]

I do not mean to sound like a salesperson — especially since I have not yet even bought one — but Widex has zen tones for tinnitus and I found those more soothing than static white noise.

My only hesitation is: how do I protect my hearing while wearing an over-the-ear hearing aid? It's not like I can use an earplug, and even earmuffs will not work. Not a question for this thread, I realize.

I have had this same question!! I know a certain hearing aid will help mask the tinnitus, but how does it do that without making it worse?

 

[Tinker Bell]

I have had this same question!! I know a certain hearing aid will help mask the tinnitus, but how does it do that without making it worse?

Yes! I have wondered that, too! How does even just hearing everything better (and louder) not making tinnitus and/or hearing loss worse?

I have asked before on this forum but there really has not been a good explanation. I need to ask a medical expert.

 

[GregCA]

My only hesitation is: how do I protect my hearing while wearing an over-the-ear hearing aid? It's not like I can use an earplug, and even earmuffs will not work. Not a question for this thread, I realize.

What are you trying to protect your hearing against? Hopefully you don't need to protect against every day noises? Can't you remove your aid and put in ear plugs when you get close to "dangerous areas"?

 

[Michael Leigh]

It all boils, down to meeting someone that understands YOUR situation and likes YOU for who you are and can accept what issues, you are facing.

Hi @Alexiskaye

If you are looking for positivity and inspiration to live your life to the full and coping with tinnitus. One of the best to help give you that is @fishbone Fshbone is veteran to tinnitus and I believe has all the essential qualities in coping and living with tinnitus. Please follow his advice.

All the best
Michael

 

[Tinker Bell]

What are you trying to protect your hearing against? Hopefully you don't need to protect against every day noises? Can't you remove your aid and put in ear plugs when you get close to "dangerous areas"?

Not everyday noises, but more like sudden loud noises.

But you are right, I can remove the hearing aid and put in an earplug. Like when we went to an amusement park, I could have easily switched out a hearing aid for an earplug.

Now I'm laughing because my husband gave me the exact advice. He was like, how is this complicated? I use musician earplugs and can put them in my ears pretty quickly. Even on a roller coaster.

 

[JohnnyMx]

I'm so scared that I won't ever get asked on dates

I would, but I'm sorry for you, I'm married.

Seriously, once you get in peace with your Tinnitus, you could, and you should, live a life as normal as possible.

I'm a software engineer, when my Tinnitus became a real problem, I thought I was ending my career. But no, now, years after that, I can concentrate and work complex problems and algorithms without my T bothering me... Image what you can do in tha dating area.

The best for you,

EDIT; Woooo Ok, I've just noticed you are 17 years old, then no, I changed mind, I would not date you jaja.