BrOKeN_1

BrOKeN_1

Member 45 From Utah
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  • BrOKeN_1
    Deciding whether I even want to post a 4 year tinniversary update. Never really thought this would be permanent and ever increasing. Alas
    IvanRus
    buddy, your brain still hasn't adapted in 4 years?! that's terrible. Maybe because your tinnitus has been getting worse?
    cjbhab
    I read everywhere that T gets better with time but mine worsens every single year despite taking what a normal person would call excessive precautions.
    BrOKeN_1
    @cjbhab That has been my experience as well. Short of a miracle or maybe just some dumb luck. Gradual worsening seem like the natural trajectory of my T.
    BrOKeN_1
    @Kain Sorry to hear you been struggling with your mental health lately. I know it can be rough at times. Hope you can find your footing soon
    BrOKeN_1
    Very, very poor sleep last two days. Not letting its get to to me quite yet. Also not sustainable for good mental health. *breathe*
    SamRosemary
    Ugh. So crappy. My sleep has been bad too the last couple days.
    4Grace
    I sleep for some odd reason. I like when the day is over. I always went to bed 1 or 2 am. Now, by 10 pm I am spent. Need to shut down.
    BrOKeN_1
    Sitting on the porch listening to the rain and thunder. This ambience used to mask the T. I guess those days are over...
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    BrOKeN_1
    @kingsfan yea.. its pretty much impossible to mask unless I'm cranking shit up over 80dbs and that doesn't seem reasonable. The only saving grace I have at this point is no hyperacusis or physical pain.
    BrOKeN_1
    @4Grace agreed. At this point all I really want for you brother in that tldamn pain to go away. Tinnitus is hard enough to cope with by itself. Much Love. Keep fighting my man. Give it all you got.
    BrOKeN_1
    My Job. My Home. My Wife. My Kids. My General Environment. None of this is conducive to making T better. Just gradually worse over time. :(
    BrOKeN_1
    I'm gonna need a vacation from my vacation... good heaven's the world is a loud messy accident waiting to happen. Lord help us!
    Juliane
    My vacation was sadly ruined so I hear ya! Will definitely need a vacation after this latest blow from destiny.
    BrOKeN_1
    Hey friends. Hope everyone is coping. I'm trying real hard not to log into this forum more then once a week. I want to check in not obsess.
    Bob3382
    I am trying to log in less, lest I obsess. Sleep is not going well. I pray daily for healing and help in handling it, and that we would all have relief soon.
    BrOKeN_1
    ...good morning... time to vomit. Wish it actually helped. T sucks and I'm a broken record. Hope some of you are having improvements. Peace.
    L along the way
    Thank you, a good day to you too. I have been a broken record for months now, uff it was not nice at all. I hope to find more a new day vibe, that a new day can really bring us rejuvination, renewal, & healing. It shouldn't be the same as yesterday. I'm trying to be patient & have hope that time will make things better. A better day
    BrOKeN_1
    Staying outside and busy is the only way for me to have moderate masking/distraction. Slow down or go in the devil begins his awful whisper!
    BrOKeN_1
    Starting to effect my mental health again. Periods of tolerance are short lived and barely noticeable. Whatever Habituation I had is fading.
    4Grace
    I pray to Jesus for you and all of us. He exists. No doubt. I believe in habituation to the noise if you don't have relative T. Stay strong my friend.
    BrOKeN_1
    I swear my wife must be hard of hearing. Her cell volume is always maxed out. The moment she clicks on a video anywhere near I shit myself
    Jammer
    Same thing with my MIL. Anytime her cell or house phones ring, I reflectively stick my fingers in my ears. TV always blasting too. Then again she's 92.
    4Grace
    @Jammer - when I hear others do what we need to do I think to myself - how are we supposed to live like this. It's crazy. There is enough stress in life. I can't get over this!
    BrOKeN_1
    I wish I could nap without awareness spiking. So dumb.
    Marshall
    my least favorite part, but i alwas just tell myself itll go away like it always does
    BrOKeN_1
    I never thought I would miss my original T volume. Not being able to mask has become almost unbearable. And distraction doesn't come as oft.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    So sorry. I had a massive worsening a few days ago. You can't avoid loud noises if you go outside. It's always something. It's funny how when it gets worse your previous tone always seems like it was a walk in the park.
    BrOKeN_1
    @4Grace Ive seen so many people improve in the last 3 1/2 years it's hard to imagine you not catching a break at some point. It just seems to take so fucking long for some people. I'm sorry you have to deal with pain hyperacusis brother.
    4Grace
    @BrOKeN_1 - I feel like that ship has sailed. Due to the nature of my T. Nerve related. I always had hope that my nerves would heal. Now it's just beyond words. I am not stretching the truth when I say it gets worse every day. It's so loud and painful.
    BrOKeN_1
    Welp. I guess I'm not sleeping today. Gonna be a long night.
    ZFire
    Did you manage to get some sleep?
    BrOKeN_1
    @ZFire I managed about 5 today actually. Thanks for asking. Sometime you just have to be awake for 48hrs I guess. I hope your doing well today yourself.
    ZFire
    @BrOKeN_1 glad you were able to get some rest at least.

    Been doing well these past few days. Thanks for checkin in. :)
    BrOKeN_1
    Wake Up. Hear My T. Get Nauseous and Mildly depressed. Take A Minute To Breathe. Get Out Of Bed. Get Distracted. Get Busy. Rinse-Repeat.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sounds like my days... /sigh
    Juliane
    Had I known this would be my life, growing up, I would have taken matters into my own hands
    BrOKeN_1
    Damn this condition.. as soon as you think your making progress. Noise spikes and tolerance evaporates.
    4Grace
    It's like every victory is short lived.
    BrOKeN_1
    Daddy-Daughter Dance tonight. Feeling a bit nervous but I'm prepared with adequate hearing protection I believe. Live a little bit. Be safe.
    Juliane
    How did it go?
    BrOKeN_1
    Kept the plugs in all night and stayed away from the speakers. Girls had fun!
    BrOKeN_1
    Woke up with increased anxiety for no apparent reason. Now I have that crawly skin, uncomfortable shakiness. Let's do this I guess. Sigh...
    BrOKeN_1
    Yesterday was a good day...
    BrOKeN_1
    The irony of life... best day I've had in well over a year and covid takes me out the very next day! Feels like I've been hit by a car. :(
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