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  1. Vaba

    The Mighty Covers Tinnitus and Hyperacusis... Finally

    My favorite part about this article is he basically explains that it causes him immense pain, he can't spend time at gatherings of family and friends, he spent a full year unable to do much at all, he has to wear hearing protection all the time, etc. but THEN... All of this overly positive...
  2. Vaba

    Marijuana / Cannabis and Tinnitus

    I used it HEAVILY (both medical and recreational) while at college, and I WILL say that it makes the tinnitus 2x louder, due to the blood vessel expanding effects, by the time you are THAT high, it no longer matters to you. The nicest thing about the whole situation is that Cannabis will not...
  3. Vaba

    Three Secrets. There Is Hope.

    What if you can FEEL it? Like, your left ear and left side of your face feel completely numb and tingly 24/7, because you have 10dB loss in that ear. How do you ignore that?
  4. Vaba

    What Do Y'all Do for Fun?

    Dude. You gotta try Dungeons and Dragons. If you have imaginative friends, this quiet hobby will have you occupied for HOURS at a time. When you're immersed in that world, the real world almost fades away. It's super fun. Also, playing CS:GO makes me weirdly accept my tinnitus temporarily...
  5. Vaba

    So I've Completely Gone Insane. What Can I Do?

    @Candy @GregCA I am ignorant of nothing. I appreciate your sentiment, but the very instant I developed my first floater (the giant brown problematic one), my previously mild depression (initially caused by simple bullying) instantly increased to unbearable levels. I am one of the most observant...
  6. Vaba

    So I've Completely Gone Insane. What Can I Do?

    @JasonP @Alue @Candy I can no longer trust drugs because of the solely destructive effect they've all had upon me. Psych drugs simply mask problems and do not resolve them. I have no doubt that, in 100 years from the present date, humanity will look back upon medical history and deem psychiatry...
  7. Vaba

    Anyone Have Tinnitus in Their Head?

    Mine is only in my ears. It makes me feel extremely off-balance, and the left side of my face (including my mouth and the left half of my tongue) is ALWAYS slightly numb.
  8. Vaba

    The Tinnitus Virgin...

    I took Wellbutrin against my will in a psych ward 7 months back. It spiked my T for a while, but when I went off it, it went back to baseline levels.
  9. Vaba

    Brown Noise — Something That Helps Me

    Thanks, bro, I find that certain types of noise reduce my T for a while, I'll give it a try
  10. Vaba

    The Hyperacusis Research Survey

    I don't have H or ear pain, just one-sided numbness
  11. Vaba

    So I've Completely Gone Insane. What Can I Do?

    Aight, first off, things are extremely bad. If you were a psychiatrist, you'd rank my depression as "extreme" and label me "treatment resistant." This is because my depression isn't a "major depressive disorder," which is a depression brought on by seemingly nothing. This is a true mental...
  12. Vaba

    Rhodes Party with Tinnitus

    Well, duh. It's been like, a year since my last loud event. Everything in moderation...
  13. Vaba

    Rhodes Party with Tinnitus

    @hoper @linearb Eh, my T doesn't react to noise either... never has; only air pressure (right ear) and somatic movements (left ear) I quite enjoyed a loud 40th birthday party 2 weeks ago. No earplugs, just didn't get too close to the speakers for too long (be sensible!) No change in T. Glad...
  14. Vaba

    Low-Level Bass Too Loud in One Ear?

    Read about this, RIGHT now. It might help you a lot. SSCD (Superior Semicircular Canal Dehiscence) is a condition where the bone over the Semicircular Canal (which is a part of the cochlea) detaches/is worn away. It can happen suddenly or gradually at any point in life, but is more common in...
  15. Vaba

    Does Anyone Feel Like Tinnitus Make You Almost Bipolar?

    I was always a laid-back, jaded kind of guy. I still am. In real life (not on forums) my emotions never come into play when it comes to dealing with almost anything. So, while I'm in pain constantly, and I kind of just want to die, I know that talking about it won't make it hurt less, so I just...
  16. Vaba

    The Worst Place to Go for Help (The Massachusetts Eye and Ear Hospital)

    I saw this world famous retinal specialist there about the disabling floaters in my left eye. He agreed that due to their size and position, they are technically a visual disability (his EXACT words). I asked if something could be done. He said yes, there is a surgery that could fix it. I asked...
  17. Vaba

    Tinnitus Is 90% Emotions, 10% Real Sound

    Here's another thought; the negative emotions simply would not exist without the pain and noise, and you wouldn't have to waste time and energy trying to reframe the way you think about them.
  18. Vaba

    Why So Little Awareness of Tinnitus?

    Put simply, the lack of awareness is because: A: The vast majority of people never develop tinnitus despite their choice of lifestyle. B: The people who manage to develop tinnitus often don't care about it. A problem arises when someone who is very aware of themselves ("anxious") and highly...
  19. Vaba

    This Has Got Me Thinking... (About Loud Sounds Causing Tinnitus)

    Since someone changed the title of the post against my will, I want to state that yes, I know that loud noise causes tinnitus. I'm not pretending that this isn't the truth. Veterans can get it from a single 160dB+ bomb blast. The question I am posing in this post is: Just HOW MUCH noise does...
  20. Vaba

    Tinnitus Advert in the UK

    As long as this gets people's attention, I'm OK with a little white lie.
  21. Vaba

    This Has Got Me Thinking... (About Loud Sounds Causing Tinnitus)

    Yeah. It is cumulative. However, while I did listen to music fairly often, it was always at a safe volume (a volume that most other people listen at, usually around 50-60%) and I never noticed significant T at any point up until I was in college, when it suddenly came out of the woodwork. Of...
  22. Vaba

    This Has Got Me Thinking... (About Loud Sounds Causing Tinnitus)

    So, I went to my neighbor's 40th surprise birthday party two days ago, and it was pretty fun. There was a lot of alcohol, a lot of sentimentality, and, you guessed it, a lot of very loud music in a very small, stone space. Despite being pretty drunk and being within 20 ft of these speaker...
  23. Vaba

    Hearing Loss WITHOUT Tinnitus — Is It Possible?

    This is the one fact about T that completely prevents me from habituation. My own genetic father abuses the shit out of his ears regularly. He has gone to 40+ metal concerts (he loves Metallica, Iron Maiden, and Megadeth) front row with no earplugs (he's a fairly wealthy computer programmer and...
  24. Vaba

    Trigeminal Neuralgia Coupled with Hyperacusis

    I guess it's my trigeminal nerve causing my issues with weird, one-sided facial sensations. It must still be in the early stages, because I don't experience any abnormal amount of pain when exposed to loud noises. Additionally, I never had this type of problem before my tinnitus mysteriously...
  25. Vaba

    My Ears Are Screaming!

    Keep in mind I said BARELY. It still cuts through quite clearly sometimes. Also, I think you know by now that my main gripe with T is the bizarre facial pain/numbness problems I have along with it.
  26. Vaba

    My Ears Are Screaming!

    I can't possibly imagine a standard cleanroom air purifier being ANY louder than 80dB. My personal AC is 65dB (which barely drowns out my tinnitus) and it has a high-quality filtration system attached to it because of my extreme environmental allergies. It sounds like you've had a LOT of...
  27. Vaba

    My Ears Are Screaming!

    Where do you work? What do you do?
  28. Vaba

    People Are Cruel to People with Tinnitus and Depression

    Well, I had to quit college (which was the only path I could ever allow myself to take, I've always loved learning) 2 years ago because I could no longer focus on anything or relax at all, as the tinnitus and visual degeneration had progressed past my threshold of tolerance. I can't hold a full...
  29. Vaba

    People Are Cruel to People with Tinnitus and Depression

    This is true. Try to find a way to make it visible. My family and friends didn't really comprehend how bad my eyes were until I figured out how to show them. I got an OCT scan that showed a massive black smudge in front of my macula. No one's laughing now. I must say that although tinnitus (and...
  30. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    The flashing blue/white dots are totally normal, as are small eye floaters. The dots are white blood cells moving through the capillaries in your retina. They're actually a beautiful phenomena - at least, they are to me. They patrol the same paths inside your eye dutifully, day in and day out...
  31. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I mean I get so angry and uncomfortable that it is worthless to do it. It's blind, meaningless, incomprehensible rage, purely about the unfairness of life and how hopeless the situation is and how powerless I am to stop the endless pain. The first and only thought that surfaces when I even...
  32. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    Seems to me like a lot of the things that are touted to provide relief from tinnitus almost always also cause it... Also, meditating for even a minute just makes me very angry. VERY angry. Furious even.
  33. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    Change what, linearb. Change... what? What part of this situation can I change, to get a life that I really enjoy, rather than a life that I simply endure?
  34. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    First off, I'm not trying to speak like I'm deaf. I do have next to perfect hearing (or so I'm told) and I don't know if you noticed, but I did mention drugs as a risk factor for tinnitus in my previous post. You are definitely correct when you say that there are many, many causes of this...
  35. Vaba

    People Are Cruel to People with Tinnitus and Depression

    (Disclaimer, this is just for Sebastians and is not directed at anyone in particular lol)
  36. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    Can't accept that, man. Never will. My father, who has the same personality type as me (high-strung, very literal, problem-solver) has exposed himself to more noise than any of us would ever dream to - 40+ Metallica and Iron Maiden concerts, front row for most of them, up against the speaker...
  37. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I don't know how long I've had my current level of tinnitus. All I know is that I woke up with it at the age of 19 once I abandoned antidepressants completely. My tinnitus is chronic and progressive. The first encounter I had with head noise was when I was 15 - I noticed "normal" tinnitus, which...
  38. Vaba

    Depression/Anxiety Pill — Not Benzo — Suggestions?

    For me, antidepressants caused a ton of diarrhea and posibly contributed to my tinnitus. I would recommend older antidepressants like Remeron if you need them - they're less ototoxic and more sedating - if you like being sedated, take them. Also, NEVER TAKE WELLBUTRIN (buproprion). It commonly...
  39. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    Additionally, I would like to clarify that despite the negativity that I am posting here in The Negativity Thread, I am not attacking any individual member - EVEN IF I RESPOND NEGATIVELY TO YOU. I mean, the name of the thread is "The Negativity Thread." I wouldn't post this drivel anywhere else...
  40. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I just wish I was dumb enough to be happy rather than smart enough to be sad. This post and the accompanying quote come to mind: "Religion is the opiate of the masses." -Karl Marx
  41. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I'm glad that you have the ability to do that. Before continuing, I want you to know that I do not use the verb "brainwash" as an insult. I use it because, like @linearb said, it is just a word that gets my point across. Everyone out there believes some things that may be untrue, or brainwash...
  42. Vaba

    The Closest You've Come to Tinnitus-Related Suicide?

    Of course you can't.
  43. Vaba

    The Closest You've Come to Tinnitus-Related Suicide?

    I don't factor in feelings to this kind of thought. I just said If I choose to end my life, it will be to stop pain that doctors and my family can't. I do not care if my family will suffer. They will find a way to move on eventually. I have the right to choose death over life; because I never...
  44. Vaba

    The Closest You've Come to Tinnitus-Related Suicide?

    Seems like the reasons against suicide in cases of chronic illness always come down to "but your family will be upset!" Like, it doesn't matter to people if someone's quality of life is zero, and they're in pain every day, it is their duty to remain alive and suffer from an illness their family...
  45. Vaba

    The Closest You've Come to Tinnitus-Related Suicide?

    How? I can't function as it is. I already spend 50% of my day sleeping, and the other 50% being tired, in pain, or laying in bed. If I took benzos, I'd have so little energy that I'd sleep all day. That's basically the same as being dead - except I'd still waste my family's money just to...
  46. Vaba

    The Closest You've Come to Tinnitus-Related Suicide?

    Benzos don't "help" anyone. They sedate you, knock you out, and make you stupid. You can't function while taking them. They aren't a viable long-term solution.
  47. Vaba

    Onset — Progressive or Abrupt?

    I had mild, "normal" T until I was 19 - then, I woke up with screeching hellish noise one day with no preceding trauma.
  48. Vaba

    The Closest You've Come to Tinnitus-Related Suicide?

    Every day, I am closer than the last. I can feel what little there is of my personality and brainpower rotting away as I try to escape the pain. Meanwhile, my loving parents question why the years of their lives and the thousands of dollars they've spent haven't cured my pain - I try to explain...
  49. Vaba

    List Everything You Have Tried for Tinnitus

    Sedatives - no effect, immune Remeron - no effect, i'm immune to sedatives Vicodin - no effect, i'm immune to sedatives SSRIs/SNRIs - zombify me so I don't care about tinnitus, but it's still there CBT - no effect Talk therapy - no effect Institutionalization in mental hospital - made me...
  50. Vaba

    When Will the Facial Numbness Stop?

    It'll probably be easier for me to deal with my tinnitus when the left side of my face (the left ear has a 10dB loss at 4kHz) stops feeling totally numb and dead. Anyone deal with this sensation for a long time, and have it go away? Did anything help you?
  51. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    Your posts are always a pleasure to read, and seem like things I would say, if I still had a decent short-term memory.
  52. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I'd be lying if I said I knew. I can guess, though. I can suspect that they didn't survive very long. Just like today, the disabled back then probably had family units to support them through their pain. Most people would die from serious, painful injuries back then, like snapped femurs, for...
  53. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    First off, habituation is just a fancy word for accepting tinnitus. You will be in pain until you die. The tinnitus will not magically stop when you habituate - nor will it decrease in volume even one percent. The only thing that changes in the best-case scenario is that you sometimes don't...
  54. Vaba

    Any Other Diseases, Disorders, or Symptoms You Wanna Share?

    I have intense grinding on one side of my jaw when I move it sideways. This side of the jaw has 10dB NIHL. If I made the motion on the other side of the jaw, it's smooth and painless. I have unnatural vitreous degeneration for my age, which means I see as many eye floaters as a 60 year old...
  55. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    No hearing loss as in 0dB on audiogram? Or no hearing loss as in "normal hearing?" (<25dB hearing loss)
  56. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    There it is; the "someone else has it worse" card. This discussion we have had is simply a more eloquent version of a discussion I have had hundreds of times with other support group members, counselors, psychiatrists, and family members. You sound like an older, purely subjective version of me...
  57. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I'm glad you've been able to brainwash yourself into accepting your shitty quality of life as "normal" for you. I'm young enough to still remember what being healthy is like. You've been suffering for so long that you've gone numb from the pain. Keep in mind how much older than me you are. You...
  58. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I CAN'T ENJOY READING A BOOK. I CAN'T IMMERSE MYSELF IN IT, MAKING THE EXPERIENCE WORTHLESS. AM PHYSICALLY CAPABLE OF READING, BUT THE EXPERIENCE IS PAINFUL. I HAVE TO IGNORE SCREECHING IN MY EARS, AND I HAVE TO FLICK MY EYES ALL THE TIME TO GET THE MASSES OF FLOATERS OUT OF THE WAY. It makes...
  59. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    I know myself better than anyone. I don't like to sit down and let life rape me in the ass. That's what acceptance is. The agony NEVER STOPS, but you make a conscious choice to not stop it by killing yourself. With tinnitus, you have to accept a pounding that will NEVER STOP. To me, tinnitus is...
  60. Vaba

    The Negativity Thread

    Mangle - V. (used with object) to injure severely, disfigure, or mutilate Disable - V. (used with object) to make unable or unfit; weaken or destroy the capability of;incapacitate Big deal. I chose a similar word that was more dramatic and expressed my agony in a more poetic manner. It got your...