“Tinnitus Truths”
- Thread starter Jazzer
- Start date
Member
Dave, I absolutely love this. So few people get to live out the remainder of their days with such a gift. It can be difficult some days to see our blessings through our curse. Best wishes!
Stewart
Hi everybody - sorry to have been absent for so long.
I had a Parkinson's fall back on May 12th.
Broke my right shoulder, scrambled to a phone and called for help. My daughter drove me to hospital, where I collapsed with pain. When I came to in a hospital bed the doctor asked, "Do you have any idea what happened to you?" I hadn't. "You had a cardiac arrest - not breathing, no pulse rate. I got you back with chest compression."
Since then a couple more hospital trips when the specialist told me that my ball joint on the head of the humerus had multiple fractures and could not be rebuilt. But he also said that there was evidence of fresh bone growth, that my range of pain free movement was impressive, and just keep exercising as before and I should come through this episode okay.
My darling Sylvie passed away on 9th November 2020. One year before that we were walking around our beautiful park, when Sylvie noticed a lovely little tree which was in bloom. Oh Dave, take my picture behind that tree.
One year after Sylvie passed away I was walking around the park with my daughter who knew how grief stricken I was. We were walking past a line of half a dozen trees, when Nina said: "Dad - stop for a minute, something is telling me to draw your attention to this little tree."
"Nina - this is important - why that tree?"
"I don't know dad - I have no idea - could it be Sylvie?"
I cannot explain this. I am an eternal sceptic - right. When I died in that hospital waiting room I saw no bright lights, or Jesus.
I will never understand what happened at that tree.
However, my daughter Nina phoned me today to say she wanted to encourage me to start walking around the park again to regain some strength.
With the support of a walking frame we walked around to Sylvie's tree, for the first time since my hospitalisation.
I always speak to Sylvie when I am there: I can't help crying each time, but I don't think that will ever change.
I Love You Sylvie
I had a Parkinson's fall back on May 12th.
Broke my right shoulder, scrambled to a phone and called for help. My daughter drove me to hospital, where I collapsed with pain. When I came to in a hospital bed the doctor asked, "Do you have any idea what happened to you?" I hadn't. "You had a cardiac arrest - not breathing, no pulse rate. I got you back with chest compression."
Since then a couple more hospital trips when the specialist told me that my ball joint on the head of the humerus had multiple fractures and could not be rebuilt. But he also said that there was evidence of fresh bone growth, that my range of pain free movement was impressive, and just keep exercising as before and I should come through this episode okay.
My darling Sylvie passed away on 9th November 2020. One year before that we were walking around our beautiful park, when Sylvie noticed a lovely little tree which was in bloom. Oh Dave, take my picture behind that tree.
One year after Sylvie passed away I was walking around the park with my daughter who knew how grief stricken I was. We were walking past a line of half a dozen trees, when Nina said: "Dad - stop for a minute, something is telling me to draw your attention to this little tree."
"Nina - this is important - why that tree?"
"I don't know dad - I have no idea - could it be Sylvie?"
I cannot explain this. I am an eternal sceptic - right. When I died in that hospital waiting room I saw no bright lights, or Jesus.
I will never understand what happened at that tree.
However, my daughter Nina phoned me today to say she wanted to encourage me to start walking around the park again to regain some strength.
With the support of a walking frame we walked around to Sylvie's tree, for the first time since my hospitalisation.
I always speak to Sylvie when I am there: I can't help crying each time, but I don't think that will ever change.
I Love You Sylvie
Tragedy of one kind or another strikes every single one of us. Loss of loved ones means appalling grief, illness, sometimes numerous illnesses - loss of health. There are countless losses that we will encounter in life. None of us are exempt.
The question is - how can we best cope with these truly awful dilemmas? Can we cope with them at all - will they destroy the remainder of our lives?
Buddhists have a concept of 'the second arrow.'
The first arrow - the incident, the tragedy, the appalling event that sent us spiralling into pain - physical, mental, emotional, perhaps a combination of all three. The first arrow is unavoidable, beyond our control. But it has happened. It is here. It exists in reality. There is nothing we can do about it.
The second arrow is our response to it - our reaction to it. Academically we have to accept it. It is here - we can not undo it - we cannot put the clock back. Unfortunately we got this - we got that - we got tinnitus, which is truly awful. The knowledge that we will live the rest of our lives in unending noise.
There is something about the human condition that is inclined to make us feel unworthy, unloved perhaps, deserving of our suffering. Perhaps we our illnesses are our just deserts. Many of us have very little self respect, let alone self love. If our infancy was one of neglect, isolation, abuse even, we may have grown up with self loathing. It then becomes almost impossible to practice self compassion.
But whether we blame ourselves or not, the problem is 'how can we continue to live this life of ours with this hateful condition.'
When my tinnitus came on very strongly my lovely, long suffering wife Sylvie said to me, "Dave - yes I know it is truly awful - but you do not have to allow it to destroy your life. You have to be bigger than this thing - you can do it - I Know You Can Do It."
We can dodge the second arrow folks.
As Eckhart Tolle says, resisting what is already here is not only futile but will double your pain. We have to be able to say:
'I accept this moment - just as it is.'
We have to accept the 'isness' the reality of this moment.
Not ideal of course, but we have to come to see that the choice is between the peaceful acceptance of what is - believing that life can still hold good experiences for us - or continue to battle reality with non acceptance and bitterness. After his numerous lectures around the world, and in his books extolling the virtues of largely Eastern philosophical thought, he was accused in some circles of being, an idiot, a liar, a charlatan, a cheat, a fraud, and much more besides. I was personally attacked on here for my wholehearted support for his concepts. However hordes of people found great relief in his message that, despite tragedy, life could still be worth living. It is clearly a message of hope that he wanted nobody to feel exempted from. In some circles he was seriously and deeply misunderstood.
Sorry this is long winded.
Dave
xxxx
Uklawyer
Member
- Dec 20, 2020
- 721
- Tinnitus Since
- 03/2020
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Medication - antidepressants
Elmer B Fuddled
Member
- Feb 11, 2019
- 1,329
- Tinnitus Since
- 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- plugged nasal eustachian tube
Hi Dave, I truly hope you are up and doing well after all you've been through. I miss you.
Elmer
Elmer B Fuddled
Member
- Feb 11, 2019
- 1,329
- Tinnitus Since
- 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- plugged nasal eustachian tube
bobvann
Member
That's why I'm playing drums again (with an electronic kit volume control and time limit of 30 minutes or less). This crap has taken enough already!
TRUE THAT. I noticed I've been more friendly and outgoing with others. Trying to initiate conversations where I used to be somewhat eager to keep to myself.
At my work, I saw a cafeteria cohort outside and guessed her accent to be from Australia (I was wrong, was South Africa and she let me know!). Normally I wouldn't care and be like whatever, but we striked up a little conversation to seemingly make her day better.
Dave, my belated condolences on the loss of your lovely partner, Sylvie. I hope you are doing well since your unfortunate Parkinson's fall. Take care.Hi everybody - sorry to have been absent for so long.
I had a Parkinson's fall back on May 12th.
Broke my right shoulder, scrambled to a phone and called for help. My daughter drove me to hospital, where I collapsed with pain. When I came to in a hospital bed the doctor asked, "Do you have any idea what happened to you?" I hadn't. "You had a cardiac arrest - not breathing, no pulse rate. I got you back with chest compression."
Since then a couple more hospital trips when the specialist told me that my ball joint on the head of the humerus had multiple fractures and could not be rebuilt. But he also said that there was evidence of fresh bone growth, that my range of pain free movement was impressive, and just keep exercising as before and I should come through this episode okay.
My darling Sylvie passed away on 9th November 2020. One year before that we were walking around our beautiful park, when Sylvie noticed a lovely little tree which was in bloom. Oh Dave, take my picture behind that tree.
One year after Sylvie passed away I was walking around the park with my daughter who knew how grief stricken I was. We were walking past a line of half a dozen trees, when Nina said: "Dad - stop for a minute, something is telling me to draw your attention to this little tree."
"Nina - this is important - why that tree?"
"I don't know dad - I have no idea - could it be Sylvie?"
I cannot explain this. I am an eternal sceptic - right. When I died in that hospital waiting room I saw no bright lights, or Jesus.
I will never understand what happened at that tree.
However, my daughter Nina phoned me today to say she wanted to encourage me to start walking around the park again to regain some strength.
With the support of a walking frame we walked around to Sylvie's tree, for the first time since my hospitalisation.
I always speak to Sylvie when I am there: I can't help crying each time, but I don't think that will ever change.
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- Jan 16, 2020
- 450
- Tinnitus Since
- 1992
- Cause of Tinnitus
- noise? infection? negative stress? other?
Good to see you back, Jazzer.
But what a time we had when you compare with the younger set today --- locked away and isolated on account of the Pandemic.
A thought struck me the other day. The younger set all listen to streamed music --- well it's free, who can blame them?
The generation before them listened to LPs (33 rpm). Before that they listened to the singles (45 rpm). My dear old folks and grand parents (rest in peace) listened to the old 78 rpm gramophone records.
And now with tinnitus I can listen to the modern streamed music retro style -- with my tinnitus just like the good old days (78 rpm).
But what a time we had when you compare with the younger set today --- locked away and isolated on account of the Pandemic.
A thought struck me the other day. The younger set all listen to streamed music --- well it's free, who can blame them?
The generation before them listened to LPs (33 rpm). Before that they listened to the singles (45 rpm). My dear old folks and grand parents (rest in peace) listened to the old 78 rpm gramophone records.
And now with tinnitus I can listen to the modern streamed music retro style -- with my tinnitus just like the good old days (78 rpm).
Hi folks - I have had tinnitus for perhaps 30 years. Very severely for almost 10 years.
I made my film "Dave's Tinnitus Story" about 4 years ago. Anybody watching that film will detect some obvious distress written all over my face.
Since that time life has treated me pretty harshly. I lost Sylvie, my sweetheart of 40 years, 2 years ago, developed severe Parkinson's, fell and fractured my shoulder ball joint ((humorous) so badly that it cannot be rebuilt in surgery.
My tinnitus is still there, of course, and equally loud, but I can honestly tell you that I rarely ever think about it now.
I didn't think I would ever be able to say anything like that - but it's true.
Best wishes everybody,
Dave x
Jazzer
I made my film "Dave's Tinnitus Story" about 4 years ago. Anybody watching that film will detect some obvious distress written all over my face.
Since that time life has treated me pretty harshly. I lost Sylvie, my sweetheart of 40 years, 2 years ago, developed severe Parkinson's, fell and fractured my shoulder ball joint ((humorous) so badly that it cannot be rebuilt in surgery.
My tinnitus is still there, of course, and equally loud, but I can honestly tell you that I rarely ever think about it now.
I didn't think I would ever be able to say anything like that - but it's true.
Best wishes everybody,
Dave x
Jazzer
tniuf
Member
- Jun 2, 2016
- 35
- Tinnitus Since
- 1st 2016, 2nd 2022
- Cause of Tinnitus
- If it's not from meds it doesn't matter, avoid concerts
Hey sir, very sorry for your recent problems. Where do you attribute you rarely paying attention to your severe tinnitus? Isn't this a paradox? Best wishes moving ahead, hoping for better days.
I wish I could be specific here.
Of course I know that I have to 'put up' with it.
My lovely wife Sylvie, suggested in her hypnotherapy recording for me, that my tinnitus would fade into the background, and that I needn't listen to it. That may be the answer. Perhaps that message has been adopted by my subconscious mind. I have played that recording on my iPhone every night for over six years now.
It worked for me, so maybe give hypnotherapy a try.
Best wishes,
Dave xx
Jazzer
As some of you know, Sylvia, my lovely missus, qualified as a clinical hypnotherapist. At a very fraught time, when I was still an active working jazz musician, on a week long engagement of nightly concert appearances at a venue in Salabrenia, Spain, my tinnitus was bothering me so much that I told Sylvia that I couldn't go on.
She got me to lay on the couch while she put me out, and whispered to me that my head noises would fade into the background, and would gradually become less intrusive to the point where most of the time I would be unaware of them.
This has proved to be the case for me.
I have often wondered whether any members have taken this route, and whether there has been any positive result.
I realise it is not a cure, but that it can help to shift your focus.
Dave xx
Jazzer
She got me to lay on the couch while she put me out, and whispered to me that my head noises would fade into the background, and would gradually become less intrusive to the point where most of the time I would be unaware of them.
This has proved to be the case for me.
I have often wondered whether any members have taken this route, and whether there has been any positive result.
I realise it is not a cure, but that it can help to shift your focus.
Dave xx
Jazzer
- Jan 27, 2019
- 188
- Tinnitus Since
- Around 2008/spiked 2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- 2008 sound/2018 Meds made the volume several times worse
@OnceUponaTime, are you OK Mary? It's been a while since I've seen you in here.
Love and respect,
Stu
Love and respect,
Stu
@Jazzer, you make me cry... I can feel your grief. So wonderful that there is this tree, hoping that will give you some peace. What a lovely smile and aura your Sylvie had.Hi everybody - sorry to have been absent for so long.
I had a Parkinson's fall back on May 12th.
Broke my right shoulder, scrambled to a phone and called for help. My daughter drove me to hospital, where I collapsed with pain. When I came to in a hospital bed the doctor asked, "Do you have any idea what happened to you?" I hadn't. "You had a cardiac arrest - not breathing, no pulse rate. I got you back with chest compression."
Since then a couple more hospital trips when the specialist told me that my ball joint on the head of the humerus had multiple fractures and could not be rebuilt. But he also said that there was evidence of fresh bone growth, that my range of pain free movement was impressive, and just keep exercising as before and I should come through this episode okay.
My darling Sylvie passed away on 9th November 2020. One year before that we were walking around our beautiful park, when Sylvie noticed a lovely little tree which was in bloom. Oh Dave, take my picture behind that tree.
One year after Sylvie passed away I was walking around the park with my daughter who knew how grief stricken I was. We were walking past a line of half a dozen trees, when Nina said: "Dad - stop for a minute, something is telling me to draw your attention to this little tree."
"Nina - this is important - why that tree?"
"I don't know dad - I have no idea - could it be Sylvie?"
I cannot explain this. I am an eternal sceptic - right. When I died in that hospital waiting room I saw no bright lights, or Jesus.
I will never understand what happened at that tree.
However, my daughter Nina phoned me today to say she wanted to encourage me to start walking around the park again to regain some strength.
With the support of a walking frame we walked around to Sylvie's tree, for the first time since my hospitalisation.
I always speak to Sylvie when I am there: I can't help crying each time, but I don't think that will ever change.
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Hello folks.
As you know, I'm suffering with advancing Parkinson's disease, but I'm still here. Of course, I realise that you all know my story - I've repeated it time and time again. I would just like to mention one more time how Sylvie's hypnotherapy tape recording gave me the opportunity to heal my distress.
I often tried to 'talk myself into believing that I could go on living despite all of this appalling noise in my head.'
I couldn't persuade myself that living this way was even a possibility.
But Sylvie's tape recording 'did the trick.'
Under hypnosis, she said, 'Dave - I want you to concentrate on the noises in your head - really listen to them.
And now I want you to train your subconscious mind to realise that.
- "You no longer need to listen to these noises - you will find, day after day, that they will begin to fade into the background and fade into the distance - going farther and farther away. After a while, you will hardly notice them at all."'
Effectively, what she did was to permit me to believe that healing (not noticing tinnitus) was GOING TO HAPPEN.
No 'ifs' or 'buts.'
And so it was - and I've never really even wobbled.
Tinnitus as an experience is now well and truly a thing of the past.
I just wanted to repeat this incident in the hope that it might help somebody.
Sylvie permitted me to believe that I WOULD GET BETTER.
Best wishes everybody,
Dave
Jazzer
xxxx
As you know, I'm suffering with advancing Parkinson's disease, but I'm still here. Of course, I realise that you all know my story - I've repeated it time and time again. I would just like to mention one more time how Sylvie's hypnotherapy tape recording gave me the opportunity to heal my distress.
I often tried to 'talk myself into believing that I could go on living despite all of this appalling noise in my head.'
I couldn't persuade myself that living this way was even a possibility.
But Sylvie's tape recording 'did the trick.'
Under hypnosis, she said, 'Dave - I want you to concentrate on the noises in your head - really listen to them.
And now I want you to train your subconscious mind to realise that.
- "You no longer need to listen to these noises - you will find, day after day, that they will begin to fade into the background and fade into the distance - going farther and farther away. After a while, you will hardly notice them at all."'
Effectively, what she did was to permit me to believe that healing (not noticing tinnitus) was GOING TO HAPPEN.
No 'ifs' or 'buts.'
And so it was - and I've never really even wobbled.
Tinnitus as an experience is now well and truly a thing of the past.
I just wanted to repeat this incident in the hope that it might help somebody.
Sylvie permitted me to believe that I WOULD GET BETTER.
Best wishes everybody,
Dave
Jazzer
xxxx
I'm a new user here, and I was reading some old posts when I found your story. I hope you know that your story has inspired me to fight past any issues I have and not give up. I'm sorry for your loss, friend, and I hope you recover soon.
Thank you, buddy.
One of the best aspects of 'Tinnitus Talk' is that it gives 'strangers' a unique opportunity to encourage each other.
Best Wishes.
HighleyTall
Member
This is impossible if your tinnitus has eventually turned into "pain tinnitus." My tinnitus isn't just a sound anymore. I don't give a shit about the sound. Now, my ears burn constantly, I have painful ears (like infected), massive headaches, skull, and face tinglings...
Hi Glynis,
It was lovely to hear from you, and I will never forget your kindness to me since I joined up on Tinnitus Talk, and then there was your lovely, sincere hug for me when we met xxx
And I'm really glad to hear that you've now joined the ranks of us musicians - well done, Glynis.
Love,
Dave
Jazzer
xxxx
Yes, I cannot be too bothered with the noise as much as with the pain, aching, burning, stinging eardrums.
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