20 Years

[terrychelton]

Hi all
My first time on any forum such as this .
Around 20 years ago I had a pretty nasty breakdown ,
My body shook and my head was exploding and on fire .
For weeks I was in darkness , I was in a relentless foggy dark night .
It took me a year to get back on my feet but to be honest I've never fully recovered .
The reason is the relentless noise in my head .
It's crickets mainly , sometimes a jet engine .
My life is good ,kids ,work etc ...so why does this noise stay to haunt ?
I live with it , my cross to bear if you like .
These are a few of my thoughts whilst laying in bed listening to those bloody crickets .

 

[Bill Bauer]

Why did you have that breakdown, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[terrychelton]

I don't mind
My wife cheated and left with My 2 year old son .
I moved 300 mile to try to rebuild my life .
Was then it happened .
A wonderful person was with me at the time ,
She still is and my son lives with us .
My thoughts are because it was a breakdown from hell
If somehow the cricket sound etc was scarred in my brain forever

 

[Bill Bauer]

Thank you for sharing.

I am sorry that you got tinnitus as an indirect result of your ex's actions, but at least many other things in your life seem to have worked out...

 

[terrychelton]

Bill ,
I suppose it's a reminder of what might have been.
Thank you for your kind words .

 

[Bill Bauer]

Bill ,
I suppose it's a reminder of what might have been.

It sounds like the person who replaced your ex was a nicer human being.

 

[Martin69]

@terrychelton
Same here. Breakdown because of health anxiety. This started T in my head.
High-pitched electric sounds. Only listening to crickets gives me some relief. Or benzos.
Still suffering after 4 years, even though I live a more or less normal life.
Take care.

 

[terrychelton]

Martin ,
The high pitch electric sounds last but a moment and in a strange way I like them .
Jet engines the worse and at this very moment the gentle crickets happily play .
They can get very playful though and jump on the jet .
My life , I'm afraid has this mistress and its up to her alone how noisy my head will be .
We all deal with it in our own ways
Three glasses of wine and she disappears
Returning with revengeful glee in the morning .
Not a regular habit , but useful when the bitch is screaming .

 

[sanj100]

Hey, Terry.

Really sad to hear what you have had to go through.

Out of interest, have you done many/any things to reduce the volume/come to terms with tinnitus over the years?

TRT/CBT/Meditation/Yoga/Medications?

I only ask because it's horrible to hear that after 20 years these sounds still distress you and you haven't made peace with them.

I really hope you find peace soon.

 

[terrychelton]

No
I have done nothing about it
The first time I've mentioned it to anyone was to this forum today
My wife knows of it , but I never complain to her .
But it does become normal
So it's dealt with .
As I said on my previous post , it's my nasty head mistress .
And I'm very happy to have told you about it .
Believe me it isn't nice ,
But we have a life to live
So we must live it as if it wasn't there .
And when she is gentle ..as she is now , everything is better .