I was raised Catholic but my parents have never been particularly religious. I never heard of people being threatened with eternal damnation and other negative stuff until I was an adult and heard of other people's experiences. As a child, Catholic school meant learning about the sacraments and participating in rituals that were, at their worst, boring.
My atheism wasn't the result of bad experiences with my religion. It was the result of religious ideas just not adding up. I wanted there to be a God, so I was eager to learn the proof that God existed. But no one had any proof to give me. When I was older, I looked for it myself: Anselm and the ontological argument - nope. Aquinas and the cosmological argument - nope again. The teleological argument - a theist favorite - that doesn't work either.
But it wasn't very distressing at the time. I was a healthy young woman with fun ways to spend my time. But later, when life became more difficult, religion seemed like something that could help. After all, lots of people deal with suffering by turning to religion. I looked to the religions of the east. They weren't monotheistic and some of them weren't even theistic, but they all involved belief in the supernatural. Obviously, since belief in the supernatural is one of the defining features of religion, of spirituality I should say, because this is as true of unstructured belief systems as it is of structured ones.
I've read Richard Dawkins and he is apparently completely happy in a purely material universe with nothing supernatural at all - no gods, no spirits, no souls, no afterlife. But I'm not happy about this. If I could make myself belief in religion, I would. But I can't make myself believe in something that flies in the face of reason, logic, and science.
You said fear is the motivator. It is - in more ways than one. In addition to the way you mean, there's this other, more existential way: fear that life is nothing more than the natural processes that science describes, nothing more than enzymes and neurotransmitters. This fear motivates me to be religious, but my inability to believe in the supernatural makes belief impossible.
I found your post to be very interesting SM.
I understand from 18 years of Sunday school and church (Salvation Army) that god is all knowing, all powerful, all loving, all everything etc...
My mother was mentally ill, totally depressed every day of her life, daughter of the local prostitute, brought up by her grandmother.
She had nothing to give me.
No bonding. I lived in isolation - pure hell on earth. I could find no source of love.
I always prayed quite simply for god's presence, to help me to feel 'loveable.'
Loving arms to hold me together.
Nothing ever happened - nothing ever changed.
I was lost and alone until my own study (reading child psychology) and my psychotherapy answered my questions, and gave me understanding.
Now, if god was a reality, all knowing, all loving, all powerful, he would have come and cared for a crushed child?
If he exists, of course which I doubt, he is not interactive.
Christianity to me is quite simply, a church, a congregation, and a history book, added to, re-edited by numerous people, and of dubious origin; and I am not prepared to accept the blackmailing threats and believe through fear.
Do I make any sense to you SM?
PS - have you seen any of the YouTube interviews and debates of Christopher Hitchens?