Almost One Year Later

[missingsilence]

My posts tend to get overly wordy so I will try my best to keep this short.

It's been almost a year since my acoustic trauma (less than 2 months to my anniversary with hell).

It has been an uphill battle with months of near daily lows and constant weeping. The last couple of months have been better in the sense that I have pushed hard to live a normal live. I just returned to my studies this month after a half a year hiatus. People around me think I have made progress, most don't know that I feel that I'm reaching an end. During these six months I feel I have exhausted most of my options. It's been over a week that I have been dealing with insomnia (actually 6 months but this week has been particular bad) and nothing works anymore, melatonin pills seem to have no effect. The amount of money I have spent on supplements and treatments is embarrassing. Short of trying rTMS or stem cells I feel I have exhausted all feasible options.

I simply can't stand it, the only way to go from here is downhill, I'm only 21 and I don't see a future with this. I'm scared to end it, as I remember life to be beautiful, but I feel there's nothing left to keep me going. I've tried to habituate but my T is quite intrusive and I have other symptoms that aren't helping either. I tried living life, I've stayed off the forums and I've tried to integrate back into society. Reality is that I'm alone and I can't run away from the noise. Today a doorbell (old and very loud type) rang next to me and i felt pain in my ears. I don't live anymore. I leave my house in fear knowing the next day I could wake up a lot worse.

Sorry for negative post but I'm weak and have nowhere to go, family is far away and doesnt know what to say or do anymore. Is there any hope for an upcoming treatment? Or is this really it?

 

[GregCA]

Is there any hope for an upcoming treatment?

Yes. The device from UMich (Susan Shore). Hang in there!

 

[threefirefour]

Yes. The device from UMich (Susan Shore). Hang in there!

Yeah I can definitely see it from the results. This is gonna be a good treatment. I'm the biggest pessimist on the site, so if I say something will probably be good, it probably will.

 

[MBH]

Try to find hobbies like join a book club, do yoga, go on a hike, visit musuem and zoo. They would be less electronic. And if you can't leave your home play games on line. And look for jobs in hotel evening shift it's slower, also for sleeping I take a shower in the evening, 2 Tylenol pm, eye mask to block out light, use a sound machine play ocean and a fan, start at 1030. no tv. And say I'm going to sleep. You have to find the new you.

 

[butterfly75]

@missingsilence Yeah, I'm scared to end it too, mostly because of my fear of the unknown. I remember life being beautiful at times too. I want things to be back to how they were before, but I know that's not in my control.

You already had the courage to get through a year. You can get through another year. But I know it's so hard sometimes. But maybe you'll experience the beautiful moments again sometime in the future? Or at least maybe you could wait a little while longer to see if you might experience one? I know things seem hopeless, but things can get better for you. I know people would be sad if you were gone.

And there is hope for a cure. I believe there is a cure. It just hasn't been found yet. It could be found soon. I'd wait for a cure even if it was going to be found when I'm 50, as I long as I know a cure is coming. I'm sorry your tinnitus has gotten louder. I know how horrible that feels. Remember that you're not alone in your suffering. We've all experienced these same feelings and gone through the same anxiety-filled, hopeless and exhausted days. 50 million people have tinnitus. 2 million people have severe, debilitating tinnitus. It's so hard on some days, but remember that you aren't alone in this world.

 

[Contrast]

. The amount of money I have spent on supplements and treatments is embarrassing. Short of trying rTMS or stem cells I feel I have exhausted all feasible options.

This... the snake oil salesmen knows their market.

 

[Harley]

Sorry for negative post but I'm weak and have nowhere to go, family is far away and doesnt know what to say or do anymore. Is there any hope for an upcoming treatment? Or is this really it?

You are not weak.
You have been visited upon by what is quite possible the worst invisible condition in existence today.
The round the clock suffering coupled with no break is simply incomprehensible to anyone who does not have it and the level of suffering is simply beyond description.

Bimodal stimulation could be the answer, but it will take some time before any real world results start coming out (aside from the testimonials we already know), along with other devices hitting the market.

I personally feel that about 3 years from now, treatment could be as simple as ordering your bimodal device online without having to wait for a year just to get appointment.
.