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Bad science and the thin end of the wedge
By Jim VauseTuesday 20 June 2017, 10:14AM
Tingling, ringing. Yeah, whatever. It's tinnitus. From noise exposure. Work-related, like everything else here in New Zealand.
You're not from around here, are you? No, I can tell. It's your accent and that silly nervous laugh of yours. Ho ho ho. Fair enough, part of the job.
So, this ringing usually starts before Christmas, when you are at work. That's good. Can get that on ACC.
What's your job? Deer driver? As in venison? Hmm, no. No, deer driver on the ACC list. Sleigh? Na. Nothing.
What? You deliver things. Presents, for kids. Okay, I'll put down deliveryman. Vans can be pretty noisy.
Self-employed then. That silly red suit must be part of the franchise corporate image. Suits you though.
The Antinitus patch
Anyway, today's your lucky day. Just got this nifty new treatment for tinnitus. A patch that goes behind your ear. Antinitus. It's a unique microscopic raster that, with the help of regular and chaotic daylight, creates an organised fractal light, like a lens.
This, in turn, prompts water molecules to transform into a more coherent state. The result of this structured organisation might modulate the chaotic audio loops within the auditory system that represent the various conscious sounds that we call tinnitus and hence, provide relief
Only $160 for a course plus the consultation. A bit steep? Well, I could sell you some used patches...someone has returned a lot. One patient reckoned the used ones work just as well as new patches. Now there's a deal.
Unpublished studies and the University of Donald Trump
I admit that there are no published RCTs that prove Santa doesn't exist, but if the above pseudoscientific gobbledegook hasn't triggered your scam alert, then read the unpublished studies quoted on the Tinnitus Relief NZ, importers of this Antinitus tinnitus patch, website.
They would make excellent content for Critical Appraisal for Dummies, or the Science and Truth course at the University of Donald Trump.
There is nothing illegal about gobbledegook or bad science and there is no shortage of bad science even at the health professional you see the most, but none as blatant as this. I was alerted to this Antinitus patch by a half-page advert in a local rag promoting its cross-the-counter sale at a general practice in town.
GPs are not exempt
It is not the general practitioners advertising this light-bending patch, it's the general practice, probably the practice's audiologist.
Whether audiologists have standards for what they sell, I know not, but it could be a case of the pot calling the kettle black, for there are a few GP selling scientifically unproven products and plenty promoting them.
Meanwhile, back to this light-bending patch, if you plug the postal address of Tinnitus Relief NZ (importers of the Antinitus patch) into Google, you return a fascinating array of companies, ranging from eHealth.Live Ltd, to Cheese and Lama NZ.
Search on the directors and up comes equally interesting names like Suisse Finance, The Limited Card Company, Your NZ Company.
There are many imperfect things in this world, but when integrated family health clinics are all the rage, where no one has any standards around with whom GP integrate and no QA, honesty begins to degrade and it is patients who get parted from their money.
Caveat emptor is not a good principle for equitable health.
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