Chit Chat and All That...
- Thread starter Jcb
- Start date
MemberReally?Oh, did anyone see the news that SyFy is gonna rerun all of Battlestar Galactica and Xena: Warrior Princess This Month? Ha-ha!
Well, I have nothing else going on anyway.
It's been forever since I had this much free time. Also, I watched Raiders Of The Lost Ark for the first time in years and it still holds up.
Yeah! I own all of Xena, but I've never watched Battlestar and I've always meant to. I probably won't this time, but I should.
Oh, cool! I've been watching some that I've been meaning to rewatch. I need to rewatch Raiders. I did it a long time ago and I didn't like it . . . so now I'm wondering if I will. It was probably more my experience then the movie.
Please give Raiders another chance. (Or at least Crusade. That one is just as good.)
- Aug 28, 2019
- 1,496
- Tinnitus Since
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- Cause of Tinnitus
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@OnceUponaTime, if I remember correctly you have two daughters, which must have been very young when you first got tinnitus. Presumably there was a fair amount of crying and screaming when they were really small. Did you protect your ears around them much? Did you have any particular routine to minimise acoustic traumas?Right! haha...
I love to read, although right now all the reading I'm doing is all the books my 13 year old daughter wants to read! (I read them before she does...shocking... just shocking what's out there aimed at a 13yo!
I'm trying to protect around mine as much as I can, but I am getting caught out over and over again and fear this is one of the main reasons for my constant shrillness. I can't not be around them unless I start living separately, which obviously I don't want to do, and wearing ear muffs all the time around them would drive me crazy. Anyway, they would just rip them off my head
@OnceUponaTime, if I remember correctly you have two daughters, which must have been very young when you first got tinnitus. Presumably there was a fair amount of crying and screaming when they were really small. Did you protect your ears around them much? Did you have any particular routine to minimise acoustic traumas?
I'm trying to protect around mine as much as I can, but I am getting caught out over and over again and fear this is one of the main reasons for my constant shrillness. I can't not be around them unless I start living separately, which obviously I don't want to do, and wearing ear muffs all the time around them would drive me crazy. Anyway, they would just rip them off my head
How many kids you have and how old? Dont forget every kids personality is different. With that said...
This is a tough question for me to answer but I'll give it my best shot.
When I got tinnitus I didn't know much about it. I also had hyperacusis when this all started.
My kids were 2 and 5 yo. My husband would leave to work as a firefighter and not come back home in 2 days, leaving me a lone with the kids... yes, crying and screaming at times. I really never protected my ears because I didn't want to listen just to the intense ringing and my ear canals hurt every time I used them. I had no help, no friend to come help, no grandma, no aunt, no one. I was it. So, through it all.... ringing ears, anxiety, sleepless nights, kids screaming, hyperacusis, fear, tears, pain... I took care of my girls the best I could. I even started homeschooling my 5yo that same year.
My oldest daughter was always a very quiet and mellow child. She was easy.... my 2 yo did cry and had her temper tantrums but I never put on earplugs when I was home. I took the pain... I prayed, and cried but I always comforted my daughter first. I took care of her needs even when I was in pain. When she cried, I'd pick her up and rock her or put her in the stroller and go for a walk for fresh air or I'd get in the car and go for a car ride and yes, even at times I turned on the tv with some kids movies. (for a break) After all, she was just a baby and didn't know mommy was hurting when she screamed. I always said and reminded them, "Please lower your voices, mommy's ears are delicate and hurt." So they grew up understanding this and thankfully, they were never too loud. I must say that living in a house in the country helped.... I could just open my door and go outside to my backyard for a nice break and play outside with them.
I did get rid of all the toys that made loud noises that bothered me. Instead, I got them lots of plushies, puzzles, crayons, paints, bubbles and books...hahaha. NO musical/noise making toys. I also put away all my ceramic dinnerware and started using plastic or disposable ones instead. The worst was bath time. The noise in the tube was unbearable. Every birthday party was outdoors...haha. And not more than 5 or 6 kids at a time.
I just did the best I could. My girls have always been with me because I chose to homeschool them. Now that they are older, they understand my condition better than anyone around me. They were a lifesaver to me when I was drowning. When every door was closed, every back turned on me... I had my babies to keep me going. I'm not going to say it was easy because it was not. Far from it. I had to re-invent how to do life with tinnitus. Hyperacusis was gone after about 2 months.
Be there for your kids. They will understand as long as you explain to them and remind them to be careful around you. Give them lots of love. If they are crying and it hurts you, step away for a moment, but tell them that you want to help them but their screams are hurting you. Eventually they'll get it and "hopefully" will understand and stop the screams around you. But dont forget that all kids have different personalities, health issues and such. Take that into consideration.
I really don't think my kids screams made tinnitus worst. Other things made tinnitus worst for me.
I tried to pm you but, I couldn't.
Once
This is so smart.
When my mom's T developed H she didn't explain it. She just would tell me "You're too fucking loud! Shut up!" Which didn't help as my dad always told us kids to STFU (even when we weren't talking
) so I had this complex about noise anyway. If she would have explained it I would have understood. I was already sympathetic to her T and would listen to her rages about it and comfort her. I was pretty young then. To @all to gain I'd explain it to your kids. They'll understand. Just don't lead with telling them they're too loud/noisy. Let them know what's happening in your ears and how sound affects it.
- Aug 28, 2019
- 1,496
- Tinnitus Since
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- Cause of Tinnitus
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I have three kids, but one is a teenager already. The other two are 1 and 4.
I already knew what tinnitus was when I got it, and I knew that it wouldn't be a pleasant experience, but I didn't know just how much of a life changer it would be. I also had hyperacusis to begin with, which was made worse due to me hiding away from the world, but it disappeared over time as I ventured back into the world.
I only got tinnitus last year, when my two youngest were 0 and 3. For the first couples of months of my tinnitus journey I went to live with my parents where it was quiet. But I couldn't do that forever as my kids and wife needed me, of course, and anyway I missed them loads, so I went back. Unfortunately due to an MRI scan and further noise trauma my tinnitus became worse. At my parents I didn't protect my ears much at all, as there was no need, and I decided to try to protect as little as possible, and instead just keep away from loud noise in general. Working from home has largely allowed me to do this, except for being around the kids.
My oldest son is noisy. His voice is high pitched, and he loves to scream and shout. I often tell him about my ears, and he understands, but he soon forgets. It's usually in the evening when he is becoming tired and is ready for bed that he is at his noisiest. I now try to have my muffs around my neck just in case, but of course screams come out of nowhere and often I am too late. I may have to have a quiet hour to myself before he goes to bed in order to miss his mad half an hour of noise making.
Luckily, at the moment, my youngest always has a dummy in his mouth. A dummy is the British English word for a pacifier if you didn't know. What a horrible word for a baby's substitute nipple
My kids see me with my muffs around my neck and they each have a pair that I leave at the end of my bed, so they often play with them and try to put them on. My 4-year-old even tells me, "Daddy, time for your ear muffs" when my wife is about to put the blender on. He then runs to get his and his younger brother's to put on. So he is aware that noise affects me, but not so much when he himself is directly making the noise.
I grew up in the country, so know what you mean. It's great to be able to just open the door and be in fresh air and with a big garden. But now, since living in Russia, I have been holed up in flats (apartments), which get stuffy, but it is the norm here. Massive country, but everyone lives ontop of each other. In the summertime, hopefully if this virus dies down, we will be able to go to the countryside to live there for 3 months in an old country shack type of a house. I honestly cannot wait, as I want to see what the summer weather and living in the countryside do for my tinnitus and mood.
We have quite a few noisy toys, but my wife has taken the batteries out of some of them. We had a dancing Spiderman that would dance to very loud music, but thankfully it broke after a day or two. Bath time doesn't bother me and is one of the highlights of my life to be honest. We've not had any birthday parties yet with other kids there, and I'm not sure we ever will.
My kids are what are keeping me going. I cannot bare the thought that if something happens to me, my wife will be left alone with two little children to bring up... and then what if something happens to her? What if my kids get seriously ill and need me?
I'm realising that I have to reinvent my life to a certain degree, but I am finding it hard going. It's going to be a very long process. I love my kids to bits, and it's been nothing but heartache that tinnitus has come into my life at just the wrong time... but then I don't think anytime is a good time to have this beast!
Last night when I was going to sleep with my oldest boy, my wife went to the bathroom... and from the room where she sleeps with my youngest son I heard, "Da da" and then "Pa pa", meaning Daddy, which we use in England, and Papa, which they use in Russia. He's already bilingual
This is what keeps me going.I don't know what's up with my PM feature. It used to work, doesn't seem to now.
I meant bathing my babies...it was hard because they would scream and laugh loud in the tube and with hyperacusis it was tough.
Of course for me it is also the highlight of my day. haha
haha
In Spanish we call it "el bobo" (the dummy) and here in US we call it "the binky" and I'm sure other words...haha
- Aug 28, 2019
- 1,496
- Tinnitus Since
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- Cause of Tinnitus
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Yes, that's what I meant too, i.e. not me bathing myself, but the kids. Although my own bathing is a highlight, too.
I'm feeling bad today because of all the times I have to withdraw from my kids (nearly 4 and 2 yrs old) so often in one day. It was good to read your post on raising your daughters, I needed just that today.
Bathing time is the worst, I can't do it without earmuffs. But it sucks having to listen to the loud ringing. It brings me down. I never want to wear any protection because it makes the ringing so intense I can't take it for long...
I'm always trying to make them go play outside which is where I'm doing better. Inside the house I just get tense and go from cringe to cringe because of the shrieks and shouts that happen all the time. I try to do as best as I can, but I need to take some breaks and let my wife do the caring because I get angry or upset. I want to be there for them and savour the moments when they're still little, but I also want them to grow up and be able to understand so they can hopefully be a bit more considerate.
It's bloody hard. The guilt of not being able to care for them like I used to is killing me.
Wish I could say I was doing well. & missed you too! What did I miss? During my absence, my entire country basically went on lockdown (like many other parts of the world). Corona is spreading like wildfire.
I find reading hard too, but putting on some white noise helps (it doesn't mask my tinnitus but it gives my brain enough auditory input that I can somewhat read). The white noise becomes quite tiring after a while though, so I turn it off. Can only read for 30 minutes or so at a time.
Glad to have you back, @Labyrinthine
How are the masks coming, @OnceUponaTime? How are your fingers feeling?
How are the masks coming, @OnceUponaTime? How are your fingers feeling?
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