Coming Into New Awareness

[PortalNaut]

I spent a night this week going over songs in my favorites and many of them are kind of oldies, I will admit. But musicianship and artistry was imo higher than much of today's' offerings.

Anyway, to my surprise there were many with good tonal qualities and harmonics suitable for helping calm my T and train my ears, and make me feel good.

So, below, is
Emerson, Lake &Palmer's "From the Beginning."

The acoustic guitar really rings with harmonics, say every 300Hz, like the Carol of the Bells above, but closer together and not so much decay, all pretty bright and equal height. At 3 minutes you can hear a synthesizer come in, and even though it's main tones are at 3-5kH, there are some interesting peaks at 6-9k which is in my sweet spot.

Acoustic Guitar

Voice when singer holds "Here" at 1:10

Also to note, in the code section below the youtube windows, I put the link for one with the BEST sounding version, all the way up to 20kHz, but I'm not a fan of the quieter and muted 2nd "alternate" version it presents.

And also to note, I listened to many version at yt and used my frequency analyzer and many cut off at 11khz, and some are poor quality in general. So that aside, below are in my opinion, the best


Example of the "BEST" one (below in code section) which has sounds up to 29kHz

BEST AUDIO, first 3 minutes.  Up to 20khz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWWT_EUvl70
EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER - FROM THE BEGINNING (Original Version + Alternate Version)

EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER ( ELP ) - FROM THE BEGINNING - Trilogy (1972) HiDef :: SOTW #187

Accurate music to 16k ish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpH9AlOty5o
EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER ( ELP ) - FROM THE BEGINNING - Trilogy (1972) HiDef :: SOTW #187

Similar to above
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afHUJ0zt9_Q
Emerson, Lake & Palmer - From the Beginning HD
Orangey background

Honorable mention solely due to vinyl recording playback and yt codec problem not cutting it off

Emerson Lake and Palmer - From the Beginning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4pHa3SZMtY

And, as is becoming clear to me, I like music with audio that is bright and peaky. I think it exercises my ears and lets them relax as the sound pulses up and down to zero. Better than a 'white noise' static which some music tends toward. Also,I definitely like music for the soul that lifts me up on the inside. Or that helps me process what's inside .

 

[PortalNaut]

Here is one I meant to post earlier, and I will do so now as it does sound nice and peaceful....it is water sounds plus Indian flute. The water sound goes from 0-17kHz and is like white noise, but the frequencies which pulse often go back down to zero, so imo it is easy on the ears.

Tinnitus Sound Therapy with Native Indian Music

Tinnitus Sound Therapy with Native Indian Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p-7hQh3JZU

 

[PortalNaut]

Dang, can't edit, but in the ELP post I write 29k when should have been 20kHz
Example of the "BEST" one (below in code section) which has sounds up to 20kHz

 

[PortalNaut]

The whole situation....getting T, figuring out ways of coping, and making sense of life anew....

...has a large part which is grieving. Coming to terms.

The following song helps me understand the pain of letting go. Like, of the life I had before, the confusion, and re-learning what is important, when in the midst of the processing.

The Heart Of The Matter
  Don Henley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBJUTm9ez0g

I scribbled up some changed lyrics that struck me and offer them up

 

[PortalNaut]

Or
for Lines 3-4

An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said I lost something

 

[New Guy]

@PortalNaut

I could recite most of those lyrics by heart. That's one of my top 5 favorite songs and I listened to it on the radio when it was new. I love the way the song builds before the lyrics start.

"And I thought of all the bad luck and hard times we went through, how I lost me, and you lost you."

"I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes. And the more I know, the less I understand, all the things I thought I knew, I have to learn again."

I couldn't look at the your lyrics you wrote right now. It might start me in a direction I don't want to go tonight.

Another song from that time is Eric Clapton (with Daryl Hall on background vocals) singing No Alibis.

"I beg your pardon, hello darlin', this is me your talkin' too. Sit down and tell me 'bout it, you don't have to shout it out babe, tell me what you really wanna dooooo, but don't give me no alibis.

 

[PortalNaut]

@New Guy That's an awesome coincidence you like this song. Feel free to ignore my lyrical changes, because I understand...if you have a special relationship with a song, you may well want to keep the status quo. It's special because of where you were in life, and how it met up with you. For now, I'm sure it brings back something which is valuable. So indulge your intuition.

 

[PortalNaut]

UPDATE on past week

So it's been mostly quiet but many variations, and through a day I can hear a staticy ssss noise and then the T switch to high pitch ringing eeee noise.

2 ANOMALIES: I had a day where I was hearing ssss static noise and my right ear popped and then I heard a much lower volume eee ringing sound. Definitely, it seemed like a 'good' thing. Strangely, the next day the same thing happened with my left ear. What is this? If anyone know, please let me know.
Afterwards, the following day(s) sounds and T seemed about as usual.

SUNDAY NIGHT EVENT: Wife and I went to a restaurant, which was busy and noisy. I measured about 87db. We were there a long time because service was fairly slow. When we left, in the car and home, my T was ringing loud and bad. Worst it's been in awhile. Louder than the running refrigerator could cover.

The next day T was a little louder than normal, but since has gotten back down. Sheesh! Note to self: always consider the ambient noise level of restaurants and choose quiet ones.

BIG REVEAL:
A while back i mentioned I was going to start using something and would let people know the results. Since the results are positive, for me, I will reveal what it is. FLONASE.

As I was coming off Prednisone I started looking up corticosteroids, and some other possible candidates. Lo and behold in unrelated searches/reading at TT, I saw a post titled something like "Anyone else notice Flonase improves their T?" Interesting. And in it a person innocently said "Does for me, strange isn't it?" So that got my mind turning this over and when I saw Flonase fits in the corticosteroid family, and various uses for Eustachian tubes etc. I decided to give it ago. Interestingly, the bottle and instructions indicate a max of 6 months of use, another plus. (note: I am using the 'Target' house brand equivalent.)

So I've been using it for 2months+ (ever since). Initially for the first 45 days or so, whenever I took it, the T would decrease in volume by close to half within 15 minutes.

Admittedly, since time has gone by I don't get that huge reduction, but I still think it's worthwhile.

The instructions say one can take 200mcg/day, which is 4 squirts, and they recommend taking it all in the morning. What I did was spread it through the day, so 2 squirts in the morning, 1 at lunch and 1 at dinner.

So, here is what I have as my big three tools:
-Audio therapy: sounds, frequencies, tones etc.
-Flonase
-Alcohol
(still helps reduce T sound level)

That's in addition to....time, prayer, and philosophy/outlook....choices I can make.

 

[New Guy]

When we left, in the car and home, my T was ringing loud and bad. Worst it's been in awhile. Louder than the running refrigerator could cover.

I'm noticing my t is very reactive too the last few weeks. It seems like things that didn't make it increase before are now. I think we do need to keep an eye on ambient noise levels.

 

[PortalNaut]

It's been like 2 weeks since the last update. After spilling the beans about Flonase, I had kind of a bad week with a bout of bad days. So I made some changes and decided for now to stop the Flonase. I had been using it for 2 months.

Here's how it went down: on last Sunday and Monday I had loud-ish T and my wife had previously asked a friend for some essential oils to help, and Sunday I figured why not. However, on both days after putting on the oils, my T got louder within 20 minutes. So after 2 days of that I called it quits on the oil Then Thursday and Friday had another sample of oil to try (supposedly nerve regenerating) and again within 20 minutes my T got louder. So again I called it quits on the oil after 2 days.

I can't also tell exactly what caused the T to be loud those 2 days, like the T anticipated my new oil thing and it ramped up, then I decide to use the oil, and then it shows it to be unable to help.

But I also had some strange pressures in my ear, and I'd been having to pop my ears that week, particularly the end, and I supposed that maybe after 2 months of Flonase maybe my Etubes were being clogged. It doesn't help that I've been very reluctant to blow my nose that whole time.

So on Saturday last I stopped the oil and the Flonase, deciding let's enter a period of rest in these protocols.

So when Monday came around which is when I often post, I just wanted to cool it and get some ground under my feet, and so waited another week to report.

Then.....
1. I had 5 low T days in a row. Felt like a record; very bearable.

2. Then had a bad day like the darn T was messing with me.

3. I decided to try some ACRN. Like today and over the weekend, I used it sparingly (a minute at a time). I would find my T frequency, like 9.8k, 11k, 12.7k and then cut that in half (an octave) and run ACRN at the half freq. I think It benefits, the T seems to attenuate. Not permanent though.

Mainly what I sense is this a time where I can see if I can live with the anxiety of having less control, and also see what my body can do without so much input of medicine or audio,

I will also review whether to re-use Flonase, or Nasacort or Rhinocort. Oh, and I'm not ragging on Flonase. I definitely think it helped for 50+ days, maybe all the way up to the end.

 

[New Guy]

@PortalNaut

Every time I think I've got a handle on t it changes. Expect the unexpected.

My wife gave me some essential oils too and I'm not a fan of them. It seems to me that essential oils are more of a marketing gimmick than useful item (I would never say that to my wife, or your wife for that matter). They're almost a fad in my book. They're often very strong scents and I think its too much.

My ENT gave me some flonase and after taking it for a few days I stopped. I could never figure out how or where to spray that stuff and I knew that while my ears felt full it wasn't from my Eustachian tubes it was from the fullness related to t. I considered busting out the flonase again after I read your post saying it helped you.

I had a phase where I tried supplements but I decided to stick with fruits and vegetables. I was afraid I was going to take too much stuff and have negative consequences.

I'm glad you had 5 low days in a row. That's awesome news and I hope the trend continues.

 

[PortalNaut]

@New Guy Hey, yeah, we go through many trials....and we hopefully can find some things that DO aid us.

For those reading along...on Flonase....you squeeze in into a nostril, and I would say the proper method is along the nose line. An alternative, is to try to get the tip more perpendicular to your face, because the Eustachian tube openings are lower than the sinuses. I tried the perpendicular way for a bit (3-4 days), but it was easier to do it the traditional "along the nose" axis. Also, I'm not ashamed to say that I tried putting externally on my head just behind the ears, but it didn't seem to help much.

In the link below,'along the nose' axis is listed as incorrect, but that is only from the perspective of trying to hit or be closer to the Etubes.

https://www.fauquierent.net/etd2.htm

 

[New Guy]

@PortalNaut

If I recall correctly didn't the directions say to bend over and then spray the flonase? That was the part I was having trouble with. I had my head upside down and then was supposed to spray the flonase in a certain direction.

 

[PortalNaut]

So it has been about 2 weeks.....without Flonase. And I have been adjusting to life with less control and also letting my body recover so maybe my Etubes could get back to proper functioning.

Had some good days and also 1-2 standout bad days.

So this weekend, when I woke up and had some significant eeee type noise around 12kH, and bothersome, I decided, well why not squirt some Flonase. I did...and it cut the loudness down in half within 20 minutes.

I used it again today and I do think I benefit from it. Weird, I know.

Not sure if I'll use it religiously everyday or now, or just when the noise is loud.

- - - - -
Here's some other thoughts I had:

Life before T, I wanted I suppose some things or goals in life like, X, Y, Z. And now this ever present noise or hum makes me think those X,Y,Z things must have included silence, and now that may not be possible.

And I thought, well gee maybe I can only have 0.3xV...well who wants THAT?, and felt sad over such a low trajectory. And then I thought...but maybe I can have 0.9xU....and that actually made me feel better. I need to review/investigate and grab hold of things I can still accomplish and go for the ones that have meaning for me. Even if they are far different, or even if they are "just" a qualitative stance in THIS MOMENT of affirming having self control, I can (perhaps) live fully in whatever this theatre is. Yes, it could be the theatre of the absurd I admit.

But grasping I have no real choice of changing this ringing, I do hope it decreases. And yes it drains energy. Therefore that 0.9xV is something I want to adjust into. And as I get on a path I can achieve, or hold stances that support me and not depress me, I will hopefully achieve a certain amount of satisfaction from the persevering. The saddest thing on the side of "making it" would be "I survived" but I acknowledge that IS significant for some and conceivably me, but I want....to get to a "I became a better" person. And or course, back to silence would be nice, and appreciated too.

 

[Lane]

Hi @PortalNaut,

I was just perusing this thread a bit, and noticed your references to tones. I ran across a rather "odd" testimonial tonight by a woman who claims to have successfully used something called counterwavesound (CWS) to cure her tinnitus. If you check out the link, you'll get a better idea of why I say it's odd. Not sure what to make of it myself.

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/my-csw-tinnitus-cure-discovery/

Also, I noticed you have noise induced tinnitus. I recently ran across a testimonial by a man who claims to have mostly recovered from his severe 25+ year long tinnitus caused by noise. Here's the testimonial:

C60 - (LongeCity).

I am not a professional nor affiliated with the medical field, but I just wanted to offer a few of my own anecdotes after taking c60 for 6 months...I have had tinnitus in my left ear for over 25 years as a result of playing guitar in a very, very loud band without hearing protection - a non-stop roaring and ringing sound - I really messed my health up from years of living the lifestyle that usually goes along with playing that sort of music.

I started taking one dropper of C60 every other day and soon noticed I had more energy and a feeling of well being. 3 months ago I began mega dosing with 60 ml once a week. That's when I noticed my tinnitus seemed to be diminishing. Now it is only noticeable when I hear loud sounds,. I am amazed.​

 

[New Guy]

@PortalNaut

Wow! That was very deep and very heartfelt. I feel exactly what you're saying.

Are you saying you feel you can only have .3 or .9 of your goals? I get that if that's what you'r saying.

I need to review/investigate and grab hold of things I can still accomplish and go for the ones that have meaning for me.

This statement makes a lot of sense for me too. My hobbies and occupation revolve around noisy machines and I have no idea where I'm headed. I've been feeling lost and without a sense of purpose too. The only purpose, and peace, I've found lately is walking in a quiet forest. I've been wondering why I didn't do that more before t.

I have no real choice of changing this ringing, I do hope it decreases. And yes it drains energy.

Yup, I feel that too. Healing is totally out of my hands all I can do is create the right environment for the ringing to lower in volume. Avoid excessive noise and try to relax as much as possible.

I noticed around 3 months my depression increased rather than decreased. I wonder if you're hitting that wall? I think it has something to do with being anxious for months on end wears us down.

Try not think about the future too hard. Focus on the day to day and give it more time to lower or you to get used to it. That's where I am. I feel I'm going to be in this state of mind for a lot longer. I have to stop seeking quick results. I've spent enough time on this forum to know t takes time to lower or go away or us to get used to it.

Know that if you're feeling pretty down about t, and I suspect you are, you're not alone.

 

[PortalNaut]

Hi @PortalNaut,


https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/my-csw-tinnitus-cure-discovery/


C60 - (LongeCity).

@Lane Thanks for the leads. I keep a file for regular forum and internet postings/info which might help me, but also a file for "research - unusual"

I will check them out.

 

[Lane]

The only purpose, and peace, I've found lately is walking in a quiet forest. I've been wondering why I didn't do that more before t

Hi @New Guy, @PortalNaut

I just noticed this thread again last night, and found your comments about trees and nature quite interesting. Thought I'd share a bit of an esoteric perspective on trees you might appreciate. I'll do it by pasting a comment I made on Amazon on a book entitled, Third Branch of the Tree of Life". New Guy, it's interesting you mention peace in your above comment. In this same book, it's mentioned that that's the quality trees value above all else.

All the Best...

Amazon Comment:

My wife and I have been reading and re-reading all seven of Alain Loriquer's books for the past year, and have been thoroughly enjoying them all. They are filled with so many "jewels" of spiritual wisdom, it's hard to know where to start. We just re-read one of those jewels last night, and thought I'd post it here as part of a review. In all his books, Alain refers to himself as "the Caraka" which is akin to a spiritual student.

A friend of mine mentioned to me many years ago a book he had read in which the author communicated with some giant old growth trees. As I recall, the trees told him them they have a great ability to be a conduit for a tremendous amount of energy (Spirit? Love?), and that this provides the earth with a great deal of stability.

I thought the following exchange between the Caraka and the Master of the Tree of Life connects in nicely with that long-ago conversation. It includes a "technique" all of us have at our disposal if we choose to use it. It begins with the Master of the Tree of Life speaking to the Caraka...
-

"The Light and Sound that the trees of your solar system receive was augmented recently. Very few humans know this. It means that they are managing larger amounts of God's love and are capable of helping humanity, if you Earthlings would only take the time to get to know them."

While considering this interesting information, the Caraka recalled a recent experience he had had with a giant tree. Certain his new mentor would enjoy his story he began, "A few months ago I was being bombarded by a lot of negative energy. This created a lot of personal stress and I realized I needed to find a more effective way to relax. With this in mind, I began taking short walks in the forest behind my home.

One day, when I was in really bad shape, I walked up to the largest tree in the forest and pleaded, "Can you please help me? You're much bigger than me and I have a feeling you can absorb the negative energy that surrounds me. If this is true, would you consider helping me out?"

The tree was very surprised with my request, but it immediately consented, "Of course I'll help you. Just wrap your arms around my trunk and let me do the rest." That's what I did. I wrapped my arms around this giant tree and somehow its special love pulled all of the negative energy off of me."

Pleased to hear of the Caraka's experience, the Master continued. "I'm delighted that you were wise enough to ask that being for its help. I wish more humans would do the same. Perhaps they will in the future.​

 

[PortalNaut]

@PortalNaut

Are you saying you feel you can only have .3 or .9 of your goals? I get that if that's what you'r saying.

I know at root I don't really want to to evaluate T things till out at 6 months or 12 months, but I previously had a personal goal for say September which I may not make now. And a part of me is grieving that, even while YET... I ~might~ be able to get there. I am conflicted.

The only purpose, and peace, I've found lately is walking in a quiet forest. I've been wondering why I didn't do that more before t.

If I had my druthers I would be sitting around and not doing much, or to have "easy" work. Instead I'm sort of sitting-down on the job and only hitting the "must do" projects. And even then, not really wanting to do those either.

I wonder if you're hitting that wall? I think it has something to do with being anxious for months on end wears us down.

Not a wall, but yes worn down a bit.

I do have 2 big things weighing on me, and perhaps if I did them, then I'd feel a bit more "up."

Try not think about the future too hard. Focus on the day to day and give it more time to lower or you to get used to it. That's where I am.

Yup. Thanks

 

[New Guy]

@Lane

That's a great story. In this thread I share some pictures of the trees who have been nourishing me. Click on the little arrow at the top of the quote to follow to pictures.

old bridge in the distance

 

[PortalNaut]

@Lane said

Hi @New Guy, @PortalNaut

I just noticed this thread again last night, and found your comments about trees and nature quite interesting. Thought I'd share a bit of an esoteric perspective on trees you might appreciate. I'll do it by pasting a comment I made on Amazon on a book entitled, Third Branch of the Tree of Life". New Guy, it's interesting you mention peace in your above comment. In this same book, it's mentioned that that's the quality trees value above all else.

All the Best...

Amazon Comment:

One day, when I was in really bad shape, I walked up to the largest tree in the forest and pleaded, "Can you please help me? You're much bigger than me and I have a feeling you can absorb the negative energy that surrounds me. If this is true, would you consider helping me out?"
​

Thank you, and yes seems there is something greater to our existence. I will keep my eyes open for sympathetic trees.

Even today, birds have been coming to near my office window and I have greatly enjoyed their being in my 'space' and singing for me.

 

[Lane]

birds have been coming to near my office window and I have greatly enjoyed their being in my 'space' and singing for me

I've noticed birds have been coming to my rescue during these trying times as well. Listening to their chirping is one of the few sounds I can tolerate in this world these days. And it's surely been a blessing. -- I'm convinced my eventually getting well (which I'm confident will happen) will rely heavily on my reconnecting with nature in a variety of ways. I try to lay on the ground (earthing) at least a half hour a day, and do it under some trees that I feel are supporting me during this time. I also try to soak my feet in a nearby creek as often as I can.​

 

[PortalNaut]

4 Month Update

Really only a week since last time.

Have been taking Nasacort a few days now and I think it helps.

Have had some quiet times and some medium-loud times. Some times the T is an eee noise or a static sssss, or like a steam pipe. The static is quieter than than the eee kind.

Alcohol in the evening is still helping. I've done some ACRN for 1-5 minutes. it seems to help short term. And one night I used it and next day was "better" but not sure how much effect carries over. (the following was not from acrn) Even had two occasions where an ear was totally silent while the T noise was apparently in the other one...never had had that before.

I am imagining that life goes on. I began taking more responsibility for 3-4 projects I'd stalled on, and I feel better. While I feel better for having tried a few of these problem projects, I had to cross some line like I had gained some courage, or just faith that I have to do the necessary things...that regardless of my expectancy of the outcome or my ability that my pouring myself into the effort was the important thing.

 

[New Guy]

Very encouraging @PortalNaut . Way to show us how!

 

[PortalNaut]

Another report. Finished 2 projects i had delayed on, and so that is a plus.

I also had been having a good week, with the T seeming to settle down to a low volume staticy noise. And then Saturday I went to church, and just during the video announcement, the sound seemed awfully loud (for mostly voice content). And my sense was it was too loud. I later heard another friend left the room because to was too loud for them. My decibel meter said is "only" 85-90 db. But I'm sure there was something loud, like maybe the silent parts were loud actually, and it tricked my brain bad.

Since Saturday night I've had a loud eeee type T noise between 10kHz and 12.4k. And it is double the volume of the prior staticy type noise.

I get a little bit of relief from ACRN, and I found a trick for the high frequencies. Say the T is at 12.4kHz and ACRN calculates one of the four frequencies will be 15k. But I can't really hear 15k. So I adjust the slider down until the highest of the four freqs will be the 12.4kHz. I've also varied this slightly so maybe the highest is 13k, but anyway I just wanted to put that out there for folks in a similar boat.

I will try to stay positive or at least not focusing hate on that T. Got to not give it the power.

 

[PortalNaut]

Kind of a mini-update.

Continued to have elevated T since Saturday a week ago, so then 4 days ago made a change to my regimen. And yesterday, my T varied between steam pipes, cicadas, eee etc.

One thing I discovered which was startling to me, instead of listening for other regular noises in my environment (like I did with bird noises in the beginning), instead...use my other senses. "Look" more acutely, even feel more acutely. It seems to lessen my awareness of the auditory system in general.

Like if I start concentrating on the T noise and wondering "how loud is it" it (or its prevalence) can go up, instead... put focus on seeing.

 

[PortalNaut]

Darn can't edit the message above, but was going to add, the "louder" T has given me headaches...in the front of my head...similar as in the first month of T.

 

[New Guy]

Keep moving forward. It sounds like you're making great progress dealing with the t until you don't have to deal with it anymore. Let's hope that day comes soon.

 

[PortalNaut]

So I've been going through a lot of different phases with this T, and didn't want to post until past certain things that were going on had transpired.

I't been a few weeks, and I'm at the 5 month mark, so here's a slight review. I'm going to break this down into 3 small posts so I can address a few details separately.

DETAILS

4 weeks ago

T was bad/noisy​

3 weeks ago

T gradually let up some. I had 3-4 days of almost quiet T with more sss static ​

Then I made a calculated decision, which was on a Sunday to attend a indie rock concert of my 26yo son's band who just released an EP. I was meeting a family friend there. It was in a small bar, I wore earplugs, sound was 100db, and at the end of the concert (3-5pm) and later that night I thought I'd made it through...still T as ssss staticy.

The following week:

T came back, swirling, cicadas and then back to the usual sorts of T.​

On Saturday, I decided for some reason to just sit quietly and observe T, do errands etc, but nothing anti-T and see if anything changed..

Nope.​

So On Sunday, I decided to alter my thinking and approach

There were other anomalies...in the next post.

 

[PortalNaut]

ANOMALIES

In the 3 week ago timeframe (a few days before concert), I had a large pop sounding like in my left ear, and then a sudden loud tea-kettle whistle of about 9kHz. This lasted for 4 hours and then died down.

The next day, a sound like from the right ear, a 'pop' of lower volume than yesterday and an eee whistle sound. It lasted 30-60 minutes and dwindled away.

A few days after the concert, not sure if I woke up or it just dawned on me midday, but the T sound in my head, rather than being like in the center seems to be 3/4 on the right side. It's almost like the left doesn't have a problem and the sound is all 'right.' Some variation to that idea, but it can seem like this

But.....