Coming Into New Awareness

[Lane]

think for about 1 or 2 of them it was a major (or medium) impediment and the for the rest it was not a big factor and they live their lives fully around it.

Thanks for the update @PortalNaut -- My best guess for the ability to "live fully around it" has to do with how severe it is. Someone dealing with a rating of 10 on tinnitus is in most cases not going to be able to deal with it as well as someone who's closer to a 1. -- @R. David Case, you may find some of the above post of interest.

 

[New Guy]

Another member hit one year this week and I have along with you. I feel so, not excited.

I thought it would gradually get quieter but it seems to be hanging on to the usual with some variations. I hope things get quieter for you.

 

[R. David Case]

THINKING

The main helper in dealing with T, aside from what I call audio therapy (high freq sounds), has been alcohol. A beer in the evening always (knock on wood) lowers the volume of T by a half.

So after the Saturday (a week after the concert) where I just 'did nothing" I started researching what circuits in the brain might alcohol be affecting. How can I achieve the same benefits but some other way?

There are a few candidates, but I'm not sure and want to be careful.

And with those anomalies I listed before, I am convinced that the T is mainly a brain activity (at this point). Even that pop and eee sound I heard (left and right) was probably not actually occurring in my ears but my brain.


ACTIONS

For the past week and a half, in the morning I listen to ACRN and swab the back of my ear/cranium and lobe and tragus with Juniper oil.

During the day, while driving I will listen to high frequency beeps. At home, if possible, more acrn, and possibly other Synth music of a kind I think good for the ears.

By the way, a site I like for ACRN due to it's larger fonts, is
http://scottsteffes.com/acrn/​

Also, while some supplements came in, I found I had a bottle of L-Theanine which I had ordered and never used, so I opened it and started using that.

I am trying to quash this T down to static and down down down in volume. Can zero be achieved?

Yes zero is where my tinnitus is. For 18 years now it has been gone from the following; I made a circuit that generates weird sounds and it knocked out my tinnitus. I give it away free and so far 440 others have eliminated or reduced their tinnitus too. It does not work on everyone (50%) of them that try it. It is a free download at https://tinnitusmix.com -- you play it all night every night for 3 weeks on Koss KTX-PRO1 headphones.

 

[PortalNaut]

Thanks for the update @PortalNaut -- My best guess for the ability to "live fully around it" has to do with how severe it is. Someone dealing with a rating of 10 on tinnitus is in most cases not going to be able to deal with it as well as someone who's closer to a 1. --

Right. I'm surprised by the number of people in that room who had tinnitus, and as I know them pretty well I know the vast majority are moving through life. The people who are 10 of 10 on a tinnitus scale are probably lying in bed somewhere, would be my guess. Would that we all move about with the business of life, without undue interference from tinnitus.

 

[PortalNaut]

Another member hit one year this week and I have along with you. I feel so, not excited.

I thought it would gradually get quieter but it seems to be hanging on to the usual with some variations. I hope things get quieter for you.

Hey Buddy, that gradual quieting may yet occur. I know we share a cohort of the beginning date of tinnitus ( :/ ) which includes @emmalee and @Lane - let me know of any others you may know, because you guys are special to me. :virtual hug:

 

[emmalee]

Hey Buddy, that gradual quieting may yet occur. I know we share a cohort of the beginning date of tinnitus ( :/ ) which includes @emmalee and @Lane - let me know of any others you may know, because you guys are special to me. :virtual hug:

Such a lovely sentiment, PortalNaut.

My first post was April 7, 2018 and I will always remember, with much fondness, those who arrived here at this same time.

I wish I could say that my tinnitus had quieted with the passing of one year, but this is not the case. I have one steady, high-pitched whistle that has not wavered. On the rare occasion I will get an all over "head buzz" sensation, which I much prefer.

 

[PortalNaut]

I did a few searches to find other in the 2/2018 beginning of tinnitus cohort.

Not all inclusive, so if anyone else, please sing out.

other people from 02/2018

@Pero1234
@LisaH
@dm222
@gorzakus
@BlackSwanNSW
@paganismos
@cspc

May we all come to some place of reduced noise and bother, and please help everyone on their path get to a place of peace and have the fruit of self knowledge this drives us to, and that we say 'yes' to what we have to accept.

 

[New Guy]

I noticed the noise the last couple days of last February but rounded up to March. I can't believe it's been over a year already. You're I great bunch of folks but I wish I met you somewhere else.

 

[PortalNaut]

So I thought I'd fill in with some 2019 news in my tinnitus world.

First is I have been continuing taking my 3 supplements 3 times per day (5HTP, DLPA, Ginkgo), plus a few GABA or L-Theanine in between if I thought/felt it was necessary. In addition I have continued with a beer each evening, but added more harder liquor. I went through a sequence of testing various brandies, and then rum. I didn't want to just halve the tinnitus volume but drive it to zero if possible. So more booze, adding like 4 shots. I felt some solidarity with Contrast or whoever who said he felt like becoming an alcoholic was part of this tinnitus condition. (However being conscious of what drinking can lead to, I don't actually think I'll let it get that far). The evening factor I face, if I get tinnitus to zero or very close, is I don't want that it to rise up...so keep drinking! I know ultimately I will need to have less anxiety over whatever level tinnitus is at for a moderate amount of alcohol.

Also, as to things taken, in 2019 I added taking an L-Theanine before going to bed in hope that it would help during the night so I wake up to a lower tinnitus, and I do think I will continue it.


Now in the last few months
- 2 people in my house got sick, but not me. However one morning I woke up and suddenly my sinuses just drained and drained out....and my tinnitus got lower. So apparently I had had a slight 'cold' condition, and my tinnitus had been up a little from it.

- We had a house visitor for 6 weeks. When the person first showed, having suffered an injury, we weren't sure how long he/she might stay - 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 8 weeks, and I just went with it so they could get better. But last week, I just realized I had not done my audio therapy in the morning for those 6 weeks as the guest was often in a nearby room.

- My wife and I had an anniversary and I had prepared some special gifts and activities over the prior 2 months, and when the day arrived for celebration...it all went very well, but the next day my tinnitus soared up and was 2-4 times higher at a level of 20 on my scale. I can only imagine that while I didn't think I was stressed, the "release" of the stress/pressure affected me in this weird way.

- A week ago, restarted audio therapy in the mornings, and I think it definitely helps.

- Read something here at Tinnitus Talk twice... about 2 weeks ago... about not attaching negative emotion to the tinnitus. That makes some sense, and I think it's in line with my general approach. What I do are just "steps" and some reacting to what I experience, but not cursing this damn thing out.


Finally....I've had 3 good days in a row, where I could just about not know I had tinnitus unless someone told me. Pretty quiet. When I wake up, it's just a quiet "ssss" very quiet background static noise, and not an "eeee" noise. Today I was in a large wing of an office with no one there, and it was very very quiet. I pulled out my dB meter which read 44 dB. And my tinnitus was not noticeable, like it had been months ago in that environment.

I think time is a big factor, and I certainly know not to claim anything for the future, but am "ok" right now.

 

[New Guy]

I think time is a big factor, and I certainly know not to claim anything for the future, but am "ok" right now.

I agree with that statement. It seems like supplements, sound therapy, whatever helps to some degree but the greatest healer is time. Time can make the level of t go down or give our minds a chance to get used to it.

I'm glad you're "ok", even if it is a new ok. While we all want it to go away the second best option is for us to "get used" to it.

 

[PortalNaut]

@New Guy I wish we could give multiples of Agree, Like, Helpful, Genius etc. Great post.

 

[PortalNaut]

A note, now a week after Easter. I went to church on Easter Sunday...seemed okay but had trouble later. Sunday was of course very crowded. My practice is to wait until the music (100 dB) is over, and then go in later. My wife went in to select a free seat (two) and I would slide into after the music. I waited in the back left of the sanctuary and measured 97 dB and it didn't sound "too loud" to me...which seemed nice, but i folded my right tragus over my right ear's opening and waited while my wife looked for a seat. She took her time, and I guess it was at least a minute and I waited while the loud music played, and then I saw the row she selected. So then I left and waited till the music was over and then came in for the sermon. The rest of the day and night went well.

But Monday and Tuesday my tinnitus spiked and I while I usually think it could be due to randomness, instead I think it was due to the "brief" staying in during Sunday's loud music.

And then an odd thing happened...early Wednesday morning I woke up on a sofa downstairs at about 5am, and tinnitus was absolutely zero/silent. It stayed that way for half an hour while I moved around the house and then finally back to my regular bed. So, then when I woke up more at my regular time, tinnitus was back.

Such is the strange world of tinnitus. As to church, I think I will stay out of the sanctuary for the music portion for another 12 months, or 6 at least. Obviously if spikes are caused, it's not an option to stay in.

 

[New Guy]

I'm sorry you had the increase but happy you had the decrease. I hope you get more low level tinnitus.

Since getting tinnitus I've noticed it's often worse before it gets better. In the first months I would have some loud periods of 10-15 minutes or so followed by a lower level for 30 min to an hour. Recently I've had louder, and more piercing tinnitus followed by quieter mornings. It makes no sense.

Yes, tinnitus is strange and unpredictable and can really sap your energy.

 

[Digital Doc]

If the sound level in the Church or anywhere else is in the 95-100 dB range, and you already have tinnitus, then I would never be exposed again to that level of sound or there is a likelihood that you will spike. It sounds like you had a delayed spike, that can happen a few days after the exposure.

You should stay out for the music portion, and wear earplugs with these sorts of loud sounds.

 

[PortalNaut]

@New Guy Yup, tinnitus up and down in weird ways.

As to recent Friday and Saturday, two good days.

@Digital Doc Thanks and I agree! Now as to an extra note on sounds in church, I would say the sermon is generally never above 85 dB, so I sit and listen regularly without earplugs. Then this weekend the sermon started and then I noticed in the first minute someone in the sound booth cranked the sound up, and I quick measured peaks of 90 dB. So I put in earplugs - first timer ever during a sermon. I wondered the whole time what affect this would have on me.

I guess 24 hours later, the tinnitus is somewhat quiet, so maybe I escaped a major impact. As well, in church, the major sound problem (and loudness) is the subwoofers during music, but during sermons the subwoofers aren't really in play, thank God.

Eta: general note: I noticed I can hear higher frequencies today, 13.5 kHz, maybe even 13.8 (.or 9 ) kHz.

 

[JohnAdams]

I too have come into this new awareness. Here's to formally taking life for granted!

 

[PortalNaut]

@JohnAdams You got "it" baby, and I'm sad to say I know what you mean. Before tinnitus life was a breeze...

 

[GSC]

I feel like if someone's tinnitus resolved and went away, they would feel like they could conquer anything.

Is t remission the cure to depression and anxiety. HMMMMMM.

 

[PortalNaut]

I feel like if someone's tinnitus resolved and went away, they would feel like they could conquer anything.

Is tinnitus remission the cure to depression and anxiety. HMMMMMM.

Well, my own take is I'm not sure when if ever I could say the tinnitus episode is done with. But I do agree that if we get to a livable or quiet place and march forward into inhabiting our lives, we will be better and stronger people.

...
FWIW, I am amazed that last year was one of the busiest and most profitable. Three weeks into tinnitus, I worked all weekend and transferred a client to a new on-site server system, and maybe that work KEPT me from freaking out. In any case, tinnitus has quieted down and I've kept on doing a lot.

 

[PortalNaut]

Just a little report:

About 2-3 weeks ago I had some spike, where tinnitus had been rising for 1.5 weeks, and after reviewing things I decided to change up things a bit. I maybe haven't mentioned this, but I have had daily headaches for the last 6 months or so, and I would take acetaminophen for it. This would be taking acetaminophen most times when I wake up and then with most meals. 2 weeks ago two things dawned me:

1) I was taking up to about 6 capsules a day of the acetaminophen.
2) I've been using the same supplements for the last 3-4 months and maybe my brain is getting used to it.​

So changed the supplements:

from 3 times daily of 5-HTP, DLPA, and GB
to SJW, GABA, and GB.​

Then for the acetaminophen I looked at some ototoxic charts, and nearly every headache remedy seems to be on it, but I decided I would try aspirin. So began taking aspirin (325mg) instead of acetaminophen.

By about a week after these changes, my tinnitus is lower and my headache situation improved. I take maybe just 2-3 aspirin a day.

Yay!

I do think the changing the supplement pattern is important. So I think maybe one week a month I'll switch back to the SJW+GABA+GB.

Currently, after week of being on the SJW+GABA+GB, I'm back to the 5HTP+DLPA+GB.

 

[PortalNaut]

Holy cow, the system lost an edit. So,.....

"ETA"
As the above post is fairly dry, I will add a a bit more about my feelings and such. Currently am feeling relatively happy. T is manageable. Loudness is less then our refrigerator and some days is a low-level sss static noise. Since reducing in the last week, I feel only maybe 5% stress over it.

Also it occurred to me that about 2 weeks ago I spent several hours listening to some "fix your tinnitus" youtube sounds, and it was after that that I think I noticed the increased level of T. While I wouldn't think that is directly the cause, maybe the crazy variations and amounts I listened to had a bit of an effect.

 

[New Guy]

Loudness is less then our refrigerator and some days is a low-level sss static noise.

That's great news!!!

It amazes me that so much time has passed yet t is still reactive and unpredictable. From reading the forum I know that's par for the course but it's still surprising.

 

[PortalNaut]

I've had some quiet days and a few louder ones, but all in all, at the moment, T is pretty quiet.

Of the factors I think important to report: first is the observation is that when I was playing around with a tone generator i stumbled across 6200Hz, which is half of the 12.4kHz T I generally have. So in the morning my practice now is I bop around playing it in the 6000's. Then some 11-16k for good measure, but the lower frequency definitely has an effect. I know it's a bit related to residual inhibition, but several minutes of 6000ish Hz on/off makes the day go better. Also, that is right near where my audio notch is.

Other than that I had some things like lots of car travel for work and no increased T from it. I also had a HUGE work project which originally was going to be spaced out over 2 weeks, and came down to a do-or-die get-it-all-done in a 4-day period. Even though super stressful I did have 100% focus on it, worked through the night, etc and T did not flare and seemed to subside a bit.

Another strange one...while I do drink in a very limited fashion, I never get drunk. But in the last month I did go to a friend's birthday party in our neighborhood and had 10 or so drinks in 3.5 hours. Well yes T dropped to zero, and also when I woke up the next day, still feeling the effects, there was no T, and it didn't start ringing until after 2pm.

A few weeks ago, T seemed to be up a bit, and I bought some Tumeric, but actually haven't taken any, and T eventually came down . Still haven't had 7 good days in a row, but life is liveable.

 

[New Guy]

The variability of t amazes me. You have quiet and loud days. I have pretty much the same day again and again.

Glad to hear you're making progress!

 

[PortalNaut]

Ok, so time for an update. I wound up 2 weeks ago at the 1.5 year mark...going on a trip involving air flight to a relative's wedding.

I had been very worried, and back a year ago, at like the 6 month point, I skipped going to a wedding. But I figured enough time had passed and I needed to get over this hurdle.

I read quite a bit of other people's experiences and I decided on a routine for the airplane.

As my Regular Routine I daily take 3x 5HTP, DLPA and Ginko Biloba (GB).

AIRPLANE
relative to scheduled take off time:
- 1 hour before - take an extra GB
- 30 min before, take Flonase
this is a steroid. Use method form Dr Mansell (on youtube...basically the Valsava method to help it get back to Eustachian Tubes)
- 15 minute before take Afrin...which opens up passage ways including Eustachian Tubes.

On airplane, wore Leightning L1 earmuffs.

On Airplane: while ascending chew gum and pop ears like every minute or even 30 seconds
Level Flight - still popped ears regularly
Descending, chew gum and pop ears frequently
After Flight: Take an NAC

Noise Note: during take off, with roar of engine, measured 100db
Level Flight - measured 90-95db

Conclusion: Actually I think the airplane overall proved not to be a problem, that the earmuffs took care of the noise exposure, and the real issue was potentially air pressure, but I was able to handle it.

The day after the flight there, T was lower than normal.

WEDDDING RECEPTION
Here, I let myself down a bit. The band was fantastic...14 members, and some of them back in the day backed up Michael Jackson, and they could cover all kinds of songs. I was so excited by the music, I wound up being on the dance floor a lot more than I thought, although I might be out there dancing, and then leave and sit one out and then go back. But for whatever reason, I did not use my earplugs. I know I checked the noise level and it was in the 90's, or 100 right at the speakers, but I stayed away from them. I nonetheless must have felt living and experiencing the fun unabated was what was called for. Or I had a brainfart. I am usually very aware of loud noise environments and I just don't put myself in those environments, but here was something that I maybe I felt embedded in and not like coming into (or choosing not to go into).

So I wound up with increased T for the next two days, but it settled down

And the flight back went fine

Since being back, T has been a little variable in loudness, and my ears seem perhaps a little sensitive, but basically in the range from before the trip. Additional care I've given myself is an NAC most mornings, Flonase, and listening to Audio on youtube with beeps and water sounds.

CICADAS LIVE: Being back East, I heard them up close and measured them. Generally, whether a group of them or just a single one, they make noise in a wedge/triangle from 6k-9k Hz. Occasionally up to 10kHz. This is a good/pleasant range for me and my T, so I liked hearing them.

It was overall a fun trip, and I will put air travel back on the list of things I can do.

 

[New Guy]

We have what I think are cicadas making noise now as well. It's hot, in the high 80's to low 90's Fahrenheit and humid as all get out.

One day I was outside and I realized listening to them totally masked the t. It was so nice!

Glad to hear you had a fun trip!

 

[PortalNaut]

I'm sorry for my absence. I've had some busy periods, another trip by airplane, and some post-trip dealing.

This second trip was a last minute family conclave in the midwest and I pretty much had to go, as it was a very unique gathering. And for the airplane travel, I handled it the same way as before, with pills and sprays before and ear-popping (and earmuffs on) throughout the flight. And I think that was fine (once again). The day after the flight, T was virtually gone.

However, the 2nd night we gathered at a very noisy Italian restaurant. I could tell when we got to the table that this was a challenging environment, lots of talking and clattering of silverware on dishes. I measured the decibels at 85db but it seemed louder in some way, and for sure was very constant.

The next morning T was ringing pretty loud, and that evening I flew out and used my same protocols, and though I think the flight noise/pressure was again okay, I have some holdover T from that restaurant.

For the first week back, T was pretty variable but would quiet down some, then after 2 days would get louder again. It's been about 2.5 weeks since the trip and the T is still elevated some. I actually had a week of pretty low T, and then it drifted into being noisy again. Today it sounded more like a hiss, which is not disruptive, but I'd prefer it quieter.

Overall I have treated this like an exposure, and have taken NAC everyday as well as Flonase.

I haven't wanted really to post anything until, haha, this elevated T was gone and I was over it, but who knows exactly the path when that will be. And in any case, I am surviving, and life goes on, and I'm overall not severely bothered by it.

 

[housemzk]

Good to hear from you, as I've been following this post for sometime now. Have you considered custom earplugs for loud environments? I used them on planes, restaurants, and even sporting events. They are somewhat discreet and you can still hear conversations. Damn near ideal for loud restaurants. Good luck, hope you find continued relief.

 

[PortalNaut]

Thanks for that @housemzk . Do you have any suggestions for make or hearing aid/plugs/ of that type? I haven't done any searches. If it's good for noisy restaurants, then I'd be up for it. With your user name...are you re purposing musician ear plugs?

 

[linearb]

6 MONTH REPORT

I came to a conclusion that I could have a stance (when in possession) like being disconnected from the desire for no T yet still wanting that.
​

And then with that insight in hand, I looked at the other things in my life that I desire and perhaps that insight could work for them: Money, Sex, Power (not really), Approval, etc. And so if I achieve some of these thing, perhaps the same have/not-have stance could be taken.

I just wanted to speak to this from a Buddhist 101 perspective; what you're describing in general is striving, a state of deeming things "inadeqate", that is, finding pain because our expectations for ourselves and reality don't align. Wanting things to be other than as they are is what drives "suffering", viewing things in this way.

Your first sentence here with the bolding is at least starting to tread into the area that people often try to leverage meditation for: conscious effort to focus and accept simply what is, with each breath rising and passing, and perhaps at least glimpses of a wordless awareness of existence. You have stopped being some discordant phonograph needle bouncing through the grooves of the universe making "your own" noise, and simply become part of it.

All of which is to say, from this perspective, the concept of "desire" is very, very closely connected to the concept of "suffering"; they are interchangeable.