Could use some help / support / advice

[washashore]

Some background: I've had Tinnitus for over 4 months now. I'm 99% sure that it was caused by acoustic trauma since it showed up after a very loud night at a bar watching a cover band. Like many on here, my T is multiple tones in both ears (sometime more in the head). There's a high pitched squeal with some fluctuation, a constant tone that is slightly less high pitched, and a lower background tone that seems to be reactive to sound (especially road noise and vibrations). I've been making slow progress over the last few months getting used to the noise. At first it was completely unbearable, but in the last two months I've gotten to the point where I can go hours without noticing it too badly, and days where I don't have a strong emotional reaction to it. Although I always hear it.

But the last few days have been terrible. For some reason, I can't seem to cope anymore. My primary T noise seems to have gotten louder and harsher, but I'm not sure; I can't tell if it's actually changed or if I am just completely fixated on it. Either way, I'm not sure what to do next.

TRT seems like it works for many, but it's out of my price range. I had my doc prescribe me some anxiety meds (just in case), but I haven't used them yet. I don't want to develop a dependency on them. I've been forcing myself to continue on with life as if nothing's wrong. I still work, go out, exercise, drink with friends, etc. etc. Fake it till you make it, I guess. But I don't seem to be making it. I thought I'd be further along in the habituation process by now.

If any of you T veterans have any advice / words of wisdom, they would be much appreciated. If not, just consider this my public venting therapy. Thanks.

 

[Teri]

Honestly, I think this is pretty normal on the onset of T. I have great days, mediocre days and bad days. I also go through a phase when I get discouraged and feel as I have taken steps backwards. Just keep pushing forward and know that the discouraging periods will pass!

I too have anxiety meds. I took them at the start but choose not to take them at this point and try to power through because I don't want to be dependent. It helps to know they are there if I can't take it...kind of a security blanket.

 

[washashore]

Thanks @Teri - I'm plugging away through this spike, or whatever it is. It can be really discouraging to feel like you've lost all the progress you've made, but I realize it's common. I hope that some day my brain will be so used to changes and spikes that it won't even matter. I'm tired of living in a state of constant fear that my T will get worse.

Hope you have a nice day. It's nice to have somewhere to vent where people truly understand.

 

[Danza]

@washashore I KNOW! I actually hate the same thing: that you are feeling fine even many days or even a week (My T has been improving and the PEEEEP sound is basically gone, but the this HIZZZZZZING started to botter me more) and then the anxiety and fear gets you. Although things are quite good for me volumewise I STILL get days when I feel totally depressed and I just look at my kids and feel sorry that i can't be fully "present". Notice to everyone!!!!: I think that I personally might have some other factors than T affecting to my moods - maybe it is not even T to blame in my case. BTW! does anyone have some hints for hizzing -type of symptoms?

Positive is that we are going forward, it is taking time, (sleep is important) and patience. Outdoor activities help. Let's start training our brains more. @meeruf is at the moment on 4 week T-camp in Norway He is doing great posts from there - might help you too.

All the best! It seems that you are making a good progress, let's anjoy every good moment! maybe that is our blessing now! We need to add some humor to this, like many of us already do. We just have to figure ou how
We NEED to laugh and cry! it helps

Danza