Dating with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis

[TheDanishGirl]

Yep... I can testify for all of this. On top of that being considered mentally sick. Because they look at you and you are just looking ok, right?

Even worse when you ARE actually mentally ill (I've suffered from depression and anxiety many years prior to tinnitus and hyperacusis). Then they can always blame your suffering on mental illness.

 

[Ela Stefan]

Even worse when you ARE actually mentally ill (I've suffered from depression and anxiety many years prior to tinnitus and hyperacusis). Then they can always blame your suffering on mental illness.

Exactly my thinking. I was always a quick thinking person, if I can say it like that. Also an overthinking one, verbally fighting when I knew I was right. Not by my point of view, but by facts. Always hard working, kind of a lonely person as I never liked company just for the sake of it and not for true reasons.

All of these are now against me, and tinnitus had nothing to do with my ear infection but with my behavior, thinking and so on...

 

[aot]

Plus you can bet your ass that they would try at least to some degree, to pressure you into loud events or family gatherings... sooner or later. People who don't have bothersome tinnitus + hyperacusis have no clue about how serious these conditions are and how careful you have to be.

+ I don't need yet another person in my life, who feel they have the answer to these conditions, by asking me "have you tried this, have you tried that, what if you did this/that?? Have you heard of this treatment (insert scam)?... it's tiring enough hearing that from family/friends. I know they mean well, but it's still tiring.

You know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and then I rememberd a book I read sometime last year: Quiet Girl in A Noisy World, by Debbie Tung. It's a collection of autobiographical comic strips. A running theme is her family and friends trying to get her into social situations and activities, despite her social anxiety and introverted nature. Even at her own wedding, she runs off to be by herself.

But she still has a wedding. She still found someone and got married. Now, obviously this is different than tinnitus and hyperacusis but my point is it's possible. Her husband goes to on to love and accept her as she is.

So all I have to do is find a cute girl with near crippling social anxiety who hates leaving the house for any reason other than supporting her local book store. Not very high odds of that, especially since I'm in Florida. But it's... something, I guess.

 

[__nico__]

I'm glad to have a 100% understanding partner who absolutely understands my condition but the fact I have hyperacusis just sucks all the joy out of life... Can't do the shit we used to do and it upsets both of us (in the sense we both wish this would just go away).

 

[PeteJ]

Yep... I can testify for all of this. On top of that being considered mentally sick. Because they look at you and you are just looking ok, right?

The problem is tinnitus is an INVISIBLE condition and there is a severe lack of EDUCATION about it.

Most people only have a rudimentary knowledge of tinnitus, mostly familiar with it watching it in movies when characters escape an explosion or another example, a personal experience in which it is temporary after a concert. In all these cases, it is assumed, it is minor and soon goes away.

Severe cases in which it remains or is severely loud with other complications and serious related conditions such as hyperacusis, are not on anyone's radar. Few are familiar with any of that unless they have it and no one in the medical field educates or informs the public in any large scale or capacity.

In other words, people are generally clueless about it and the experts have not even educated health professionals in general medical fields. We are not helped by tinnus researchers unless they miraculously come up with a "cure" or significant treatment since they haven't educated the general public or general medical field, at the very least.

Who else can do it?

Oh, sorry for the overly long post.

P.S. Yes, my post relates to dating and socializing because I think it's personally impossible to find someone who will accommodate someone who has severe tinnitus unless they have a similar condition themselves. Why consider such a person when you have so many options of "healthy" people? It's depressing.

 

[Matchbox]

The problem is tinnitus is an INVISIBLE condition and there is a severe lack of EDUCATION about it.

Most people only have a rudimentary knowledge of tinnitus, mostly familiar with it watching it in movies when characters escape an explosion or another example, a personal experience in which it is temporary after a concert. In all these cases, it is assumed, it is minor and soon goes away.

Severe cases in which it remains or is severely loud with other complications and serious related conditions such as hyperacusis, are not on anyone's radar. Few are familiar with any of that unless they have it and no one in the medical field educates or informs the public in any large scale or capacity.

In other words, people are generally clueless about it and the experts have not even educated health professionals in general medical fields. We are not helped by tinnus researchers unless they miraculously come up with a "cure" or significant treatment since they haven't educated the general public or general medical field, at the very least.

Who else can do it?

Oh, sorry for the overly long post.

P.S. Yes, my post relates to dating and socializing because I think it's personally impossible to find someone who will accommodate someone who has severe tinnitus unless they have a similar condition themselves. Why consider such a person when you have so many options of "healthy" people? It's depressing.

IF you already "made it big" in life, I'd say you could get tinnitus and still be ok, if anything it'd be a secret only they knew and if you were habituated / getting better you could probably deal with it and still be charming/employing or employed, to the point you could give her/him points in which to redeem for tinnitus jokes. If you're still starting out, not so much, especially if it is crippling and no laughing matter/you're not getting better.

For me it's real shit, the military just seemed to dawn on me as the answer... I was ready for my interview (flying colours on the other tests) until I got this. Let's just say the military doesn't look kindly at tinnitus if you aren't already in (I could lie, was planning to, until it became crippling).

 

[kingsfan]

I'd prefer to date someone else with tinnitus, otherwise I feel they would start resenting my illness as time goes on. I also have a whole host of other medical problems that I think someone with tinnitus would understand what it takes to deal with on a day-to-day basis vs a regular healthy person.

So yea, I'm single everyone