Don't Know What to Do Anymore

[rubyroseware]

Feel like I'm in a never ending vicious circle. Why has it became so bad for no reason?

It used to be mild, in my right ear only, and I only really heard it when it was very very quiet and it didn't bother me when trying to sleep.

Now it is at least 4 different tones in both my ears and it is driving me insane. It is ALL I can think about - I physically cannot stop thinking about it and how awful it is. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I am painfully jealous of everyone who doesn't suffer tinnitus and they don't realise how lucky they are. Whenever I try to think about the future it is clouded and ruined by the thought that I will have tinnitus for the rest of my life. It makes me feel like my future isn't worth living. Whenever i think about going to university next year and having children, all I can think about is all the parties I will miss and all the things I will not able to do with my children because of this awful noise.

I cry all day and I cry myself to sleep at night because I don't want to live in a future when this is probably just going to get worse and worse. I'm too scared to go to school because the bell is loud and hurts my ears, I have constant headaches and I am more miserable than I thought possible.

I endlessly crave the beautiful sound of silence. I would do anything for silence.

I went to the doctors this morning and they have given me Beconase Aqueous Nasal Spray, to be sprayed up each nostril twice daily and 10mg strength amitriptyline (1 or 2 a night) to help me sleep. Has anyone had an experience with this spray, did it help you at all? And the sleeping pills, did they help you? Any negative side effects?

I'm 17 and I feel like my life is passing me by due to this.

 

[glynis]

The sleeping pills are a antidepressant but given in a low dose for sleep and low dose for pain.
I take 50mg for sleep and pain....lots of love glynis

 

[Lorenzo74]

Hey @rubyroseware

I am sorry you are going through this at your age, and I can totally understand most of the emotions you have now... I really wish you will get better soon and stabilize your T and the emotions it carries with it..

I want to give you some words of encouragement without seeming patronizing though..

What I would like to tell you is that there is no fairness in this world, and do not think everyone else is happy-go lucky just because they do not have what you have... There are millions of physical and psychological conditions that we will ALL suffer from sometimes in our lives, so don't look jealously at others as you do not know what they go through / have been / or will be going through, everybody has its own battles to fight.. Just be kind to everyone is my main rule of thumb..

Furthermore do not think too much at the future.. Nobody should, especially people with certain conditions, because you do not know how the future will be (better or worst), so it is pointless in spending hours /days on the future "what if's" of life and fueling anxiety and fear... We all really live only in the present, and that is where your energies should concentrate, in making a "better" present rather than being anxious about some potential future which might or might not happen.. I am sure you will grow to have a good life, maybe a little more aware about hearing protection, but you will achieve most things you will set up to...

I know these "concepts" seem very obvious, and at the same time not easy to implement as our minds are all over the place most of the times..

But if T has taught me something, well it taught me to be more emphatic towards others and to be "Here and Now" as much as I possibly can...

Really wish you well.. Take care !!

 

[undecided]

Did you mention your headaches to your doctor?
Amitriptyline is probably the best thing for your case. 10mg is good for sleep and headache prevention, without the useless antidepressant effect and brain fuck up.
Ask your doctor about triptans (such as sumatriptan), maybe they can lower your t along treating the headaches. Also ask him about flunarizine.

 

[geg1992]

How long has it been this increased T? Sounds odd, but about a week or two before a cold, mine gets really loud and I often panic making it worse. Then the cold comes and I realise that it was that causing the spike. T is so unpredictable it's horrible but the likeliness is, if you haven't exposed yourself to loud sounds too much, then it will likely just be a horrible spike and calm down once the anxiety has calmed too. Just keep battling through, I'm sure it will get better soon. There will always be ups and downs with T unfortunately.

 

[Willyt1392]

I was right where you are two years ago. It began suddenly in my left ear only, a hissing cacophony of crickets and shrillness. I became anxious and depressed, and none of the doctors I visited had any clue. I decided to go on a SSRI antidepressant, and that has absolutely been a lifesaver. I still have T, but I am able to live and enjoy life. It does get better, I promise. Hang in there.

 

[I who love music]

I changed my feelings toward my T from anxiety, sadness, panic and fear to "So what," and happiness.
The T seemed to disappear too.l
I learned how to do it here on the forum. It takes some willpower and some concentration but only a couple minutes a day. Within weeks my feelings were changing and my responses were becoming fewer.
And hey... I got T when I was 14. I went to college, worked for the state for 34 years. Ran two businesses, raised a family, and finally now, at 57 years old I've found something that really works for me and life is getting better. Try it yourself.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

[Nancy Angel]

So sorry T started for you so young. I have had it for about a year now. I try to think about the ringing in my ears as little as possible. I try to focus on other things as I go about my day. T is the pits... but try to keep your mind elsewhere whenever you can.

 

[Jomo]

Im going through a spike in my righ ear right now...its pretty dam loud today..i feel for ya at 17. We are all in this together and remember you do not suffer alone. I think the same thoughts you do and i always think of the things i still havent done yet and want to do and it makes me fight on. Hopefully our spikes settle down soon.