Derpytia,
Please know that God loves you.. His love was demonstrated on the cross as Jesus gave His life for our sins. The moment you believed on Christ... you were clothed in His righteousness and He will never love you more or less than that very day. There is nothing you can do or not do to cause the Father's love to improve more or less. Living our life in disobedience can bring consequences but that never changes His love toward you. Draw close to the Father through Jesus! Find peace and hope in His everlasting love! You my dear are so loved! Everyday His thoughts toward you are more than the sands on the sea shore... Consider the stars.. they are all numbered and named.. consider the very lovely hairs on your head.. each one is accounted for even the ones you lose on a daily basis. Consider Jesus on the cross with you in mind... You are loved and treasured.
T is not for the faint of heart! I believe it is a tool of the evil one.... But God gives us much grace for each and every day! And the very things that causes you much grief and pain.. will be the very thing that God uses to draw you and others to Himself. Nothing is waist-ed with God! Not one tear that is shed... not one sparrow that falls to the grown.. ..nothing is waist-ed! I often ask God ....especially when the T is not on my side... what good can possibly come from this? Please tell me.. on occasion crying out to God .... please take this away.. please help me to find peace in this constant surround sound of high pitched... static madness!!! Show me the good Abba..... and then! Bing!!! you got mail.... and then someone on tinnitus talk write... even you... and for His Glory I get to share how God... my Abba... my counselor.. my great physician.. and lover of my soul... gives me the grace to endure one more day with this T!
You may feel like God is close when you are close to Him and answers your prayers more and your T is better and life is better.... but.. . God does not work on behavioral awards and answered prayers... We do not sway God by our "good" behavior! For there is non righteous no not one.... He loves us... and even when we are far away from Him .. He is always a cry away.... I find when I am at my weakest in life and don't even have the energy to pray that even the Spirit intercedes for me.
Don't you know that you are so loved!!! Cast your burdens upon Him! Lean on His promises! Remember that even in the storms of life and troubles of life Jesus will help us to stand firm upon His solid Rock! You my dear are not alone! We are in this crazy T roller coaster together... please message me any time... praying for you! Tammy