Felt Like a Gigantic Loser at Christmas Party

[IAmCalifornia]

I went to my work Christmas party, only planning to eat food and talk to people. Music gets way too LOUD during the dance part like at a wedding. I brought my ear plugs in and put them in during the loud parts. Everyone kind of looks at me funny and like they ask what are they for; I explain about my soul crushing tinnitus and they look at my kind of sympathetically but already in that moment I felt so defeated, like a complete waste of life. Here is everyone else having a good time with good ears and no fear and a zest for life, and here I am an anxious wreck.

Well sure enough the music starts and everyone is dancing but I ain't taking NO chances no sir so I leave to go to the lobby, and there's everyone in there dancing and having a good time. My work crush was in there and she was having a good time and I wanted to be there to dance, but I felt beyond pathetic with my stupid earplugs in and my anxiety about a spike. Everyone did a double take, like really? Earplugs bro? I wanted to die. I hate my worthless life.

I don't know who to talk to since my doctors are complete unsympathetic jerk off imbeciles and there is nothing for anyone with tinnitus so IDK... just need to rant... not like I can sleep hahahaha... I honestly wish I had cancer instead. I know everyone will tell me nah bro you don't but yeah I do, I really really would trade tinnitus for cancer any freaking day.

Everyone is excited for the new year and here I am wishing I was aborted.

 

[Bobby B]

Dude - if everyone notices your earplugs you are doing something wrong

Those need to be inserted deep to block noise correctly and if you get the flesh colored foam plugs like the macks for 32db reduction and put them deep no one will ever notice anything even if they stare close

I use plugs a lot at work - noisy conference calls in small rooms, seminars with people clapping and loud speakers and of course events with music - no one ever told me anything and if they ever did I just say I hate noise that's all no need to even try explaining T

 

[Bobby B]

 

[JohnnyMx]

I explain about my soul crushing tinnitus and they look at my kind of sympathetically but already in that moment I felt so defeated

Hi men,

Some couple of things, hope they help you.

First, I never tell people I have Tinnitus. Only my wife and some of my brother know about my condition. Nobody at works know, NOBODY at partyes HAS not know. I did it in the past, talking about Tinnitus, then trying to explain what that was... made me feel with somekind of disability, which I don't like.

When I use earplugs, and people ask, I just tell them loud sounds does irritate me (they do), but I can hear them completely fine, and can have a normal conversation. In fact, I can hear people talking better using earplugs than people that doesn't.

One of the WORST things about Tinnitus, is when you start to feel SO DIFFERENT, so excluded, out of place. This is not necessary true. People have their own problems, some of them worst problems that I do, and they still live their lifes at his fullest. We should too.

The best for you,

 

[LeQuack]

Normal people will never understand how it feels, they might pretend to, but they won't. So it's fruitless to even try to make them understand. Just tell them to mind their own business.

 

[Fangen]

I told some of my co-workers that I have tinnitus and they don't seem to judge at all. They try to remember it but not always they do.
I also found out that the guy that sits next to me also have T and had it for 8 years (we're the same age) and that he also got it from a concert. But he seems cool with it, he uses plugs when he has to but even at loud places (like at work during social hours or party), he doesn't seem to have it in (or not that I have seen at least). The other day he complained that the lunch place we went to was too loud and indeed it was. But he still sat there for a good 40 min before using a plug where I put them in right away when we got there.

If you have good friends/co-workers at your place, tell them. It might help to know you have someone to talk to, or like can understand why you don't want to join them etc.

 

[fishbone]

I went to my work Christmas party, only planning to eat food and talk to people. Music gets way too LOUD during the dance part like at a wedding. I brought my ear plugs in and put them in during the loud parts. Everyone kind of looks at me funny and like they ask what are they for; I explain about my soul crushing tinnitus and they look at my kind of sympathetically but already in that moment I felt so defeated, like a complete waste of life. Here is everyone else having a good time with good ears and no fear and a zest for life, and here I am an anxious wreck.

Well sure enough the music starts and everyone is dancing but I ain't taking NO chances no sir so I leave to go to the lobby, and there's everyone in there dancing and having a good time. My work crush was in there and she was having a good time and I wanted to be there to dance, but I felt beyond pathetic with my stupid earplugs in and my anxiety about a spike. Everyone did a double take, like really? Earplugs bro? I wanted to die. I hate my worthless life.

I don't know who to talk to since my doctors are complete unsympathetic jerk off imbeciles and there is nothing for anyone with tinnitus so IDK... just need to rant... not like I can sleep hahahaha... I honestly wish I had cancer instead. I know everyone will tell me nah bro you don't but yeah I do, I really really would trade tinnitus for cancer any freaking day.

Everyone is excited for the new year and here I am wishing I was aborted.

First of all, don't feel bad. You have done nothing wrong, some people have ear issues, some people have no legs or arms. Everyone has some kind of issues, and this is life. Don't let anyone EVER make you feel bad. Remember that you are the "prize" and not them. Who cares if they look at you funny. Never let them make you feel bad. It is unfortunate that we have tinnitus, but that's ok...we can still live our lives. If people don't like it, who gives a hoot! You are living your life, you are not here to seek people's approval. NEVER aim to seek people's approval in life, if they like you great...If not great.

Just because they can dance in areas with loud music, does not make them better than you. Trust me, some of these people might be future TT members

When we start doing loud stuff in my martial arts class, I put one ear plug in the bad ear (left ear). I don't give a hoot what any says or how they look. It's my ears and my business, not theirs.

Yes, we do make lots of sacrifices with tinnitus and it is hard. I am not ignorant and will not say that it is easy at all. Keep using that inner strength and carry forward. I have christmas coming up, with a bunch of adults that scream like little kids and a wedding coming up...both in less than a week. So, yes its hell but that's ok we are much stronger than we think

 

[fishbone]

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/always-stand-your-ground.22972/

This post might be helpful.

 

[Makrohn]

Be glad you can wear ear-plugs and still hear speech. For those of us using hearing aids that is no option.. If I replace my hearing aids with ear plugs, I am 95% deaf.

 

[glynis]

Wear them with pride and find the ones best for you.
Love glynis

 

[fishbone]

Be glad you can wear ear-plugs and still hear speech. For those of us using hearing aids that is no option.. If I replace my hearing aids with ear plugs, I am 95% deaf.

I cannot hear to well as it is, wearing ear plugs makes me 100% not be able to communicate.

 

[MBH]

Next. Party get on the committee I'm on the committee we do holidays games alot of fun, I didn't tell my co workers about my T and we have alot on an open floor and I have 2 fans and radio on my desk. People know I don't like loud noise, I just tell them I don't like noise. You don't have to dance as long as you have good conversation. Happy holidays and have a good new year.

 

[Ambassador]

Make no apologies about plugging, I certainly don't. If someone asks I simply say, I have damaged hearing and I need to protect what's left. No shame no embarrassment. Only you can make you feel like a loser.

 

[hans799]

Whenever I plug up, I do it in a completely matter of fact way with a straight face and absolutely no apologies. It is a medical procedure. If someone asks, I explain politely and assertively that I have compromised ears and this is a necessary precaution.

You know what I found? People _don't actually care_. It is a new stimulus in their environment. As soon as their lizard brains are reassured that it is not a threat to them they forget immediately. No-one gives a flying F.

 

[Lex]

You have to be casual about your earplug usage. I used to hide them behind my hair but now, I push my hair behind my ears, displaying my hot pink and neon earplugs. I know people look and wonder but I really don't care. Family and friends understand, and even ask me if I have earplugs on whenever things get too noisy. Some strangers have come up to ask me about them, but they were genuinely just curious and fascinated.

However, I do understand the frustration of having to leave a party to avoid noise. I attended some parties this holiday season, but I didn't participate in noisy games or karaoke. I either left early or went to another room. It is what it is.

 

[sjtinguy]

Just tell people you damaged your ears and need to protect them right now.. if anyone thinks differently about you, don't sweat it cause getting over tinnitus is more important than what others think. I dont even try to hide it, I rock ear muffs in public and I really don't care if people have a problem.