Mpt, I think you can decide to think differently about your tinnitus. It will probably be the hardest thing you will ever do but you must understand that you do actually have a choice when it comes to your reaction to tinnitus. You can become aware of the sound, start thinking about how loud it is, how it will ruin your life and how it will end your relationship with your wife OR you can become aware of your tinnitus and think that even though it is loud and annoying, it is just the perfectly normal safe sounds of your brain/blood flow/audio system at work and you know that eventually as you stop reacting strongly to the sound, your brain will stop perceiving the noise as a threat and will start to filter it out. You say you have no concious control over what you think.....think of a lemon.......could you do that? You CAN decide what to think but you go into auto pilot and start thinking the worst and get into a cycle of despair.
I really should not be here because I started treatment just over a week ago and after quite a few years of having tinnitus that I felt was getting worse and had knocked the quality of my life from excellent to just about surviving, I have had the best week ever and all I have done (after several hours of one to one councelling) is stop reacting in the usual habitual way to the sound. When I want to go into meltdown and cry, fight against it, feel sorry for myself and withdraw from life's usual activities, I stay very much 'in the moment' (so that I don't go into automatic pilot panic mode) evaluate the noise, (is it really a threat to my safety?) think of a reason that it my be particularly distressing at the time, ( I didn't sleep very well, someone upset me, I started thinking negatively about things, I had a virus so that always makes it worse etc) and then get on with things and let the sound go. At first you will find it difficult (understatement) not to react but bit by bit, increase the time you spend not reacting and understand that it is your reaction, NOTHING ELSE, that is the only thing that is keeping it going and when you get rid of the reaction, you will eventually get rid of the perception. Do not indulge in analysis, trying to work out why you got it, is it louder, will it ever go etc etc because that is just drawing your attention to it you're feeding it. Live life as if you don't have it and know that if you do have it, you do NOT need to suffer from it and you do not need to hear it.
In case you're thinking mine can't be that bad.....it is. I've considered suicide several times, have taken drugs to try to help me cope (no longer) and have spent thousands of pounds over the years and wished not to wake up every night when I go to bed. I was hospitalized for severe and dangerous weight loss and had the usual experience of our totally useless NHS system telling me there's nothing can be done, learn to live with it. So outdated, cruel and WRONG. There may not be a pill to take for a cure but when the noises are the perfectly normal safe sounds of the electrical activity in the brain, muscle clicking, blood flow through the ears due to tension (neck is the first thing to tighten when stressed) how could there be a 'cure' for what is a normal occurrence?!! It is always your reaction that needs to change. I disagree very, very strongly with the people that say tinnitus must become 'your friend' (yes, there are people who are stupid enough to make that comment) but I do believe that in a way we have to accept it because it is us that is making the noise internally and we always have made those noises but for some reason or other we have become aware of them (usually stress, anxiety, illness, accident, divorce, bereavement etc) and so we have to accept (NOT like it) that it is us making the noise, it is not a threat to our security, our brain will eventually re-evaluate it as non threatening and we will beable to filter it out; ie not hear it, and when we do, it will not be distressing so will soon go from our awareness again.
I wish you well; you will be OK. It can take time but the sooner you can think differently about it, the sooner you'll be on the way to it not being a problem anymore. Don 't look for a cure, look for a change in attitude. Start by deciding that however bad you feel, you will do the activity you'd planned to do and take it small steps at a time. Progress is not linear, you will feel as if you're going backwards somedays but that's the way it is for everyone because you've reacted so strongly to it for some time that your brain is trying to keep you aware of the sound for your own safety. It is this process you have to override to start to improve.
Well, that's my thoughts on it anyway. So much for keeping off the internet sites!!. I'll be in trouble when I next see my councellor but I just can't help posting when I see posts like yours because I know how desperate and hopeless I have felt over the years and this site is so good. Remember that the vast majority of people do not get to the state you (and I) got to so we don't hear of them as they quickly habituate and get on with life so people on here tend to be people like me who had a very strong phobic response and end up with it dominating their life. Bear that in mind when you're searching the internet because it can give you a (very false) idea that everyone suffers and has it for a long time. Know that that is not true and over time you will be OK.
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It WILL happen!! My T started in Oct 2012 and it took to Jan 2014 to habituate. For some people it happens sooner, some longer, but it happens!! 
