Has Tinnitus Isolated You?

[PureNoise]

Hi,

I've had tinnitus for 4 months and movies, nightlife, loud restaurants and listening to music through headphones have no longer been a part of my life.

I've had tinnitus spikes to loud noise and am going to do anything in my power to prevent my tinnitus from getting worse.

I was wondering if tinnitus has isolated any of you from meeting new people, attending weddings, parties or social events?

My tinnitus is thankfully a 3/10 at the moment and consistently. It may keep fading. Who knows. If my tinnitus isn't bothersome then problem 1 is solved, I am no longer tortured by the sounds of louder tinnitus.

What I am really scared of is the lifestyle I'll need to have to protect myself from worsening my tinnitus over the years.

Work, TV, meeting friends for coffee/tea, exercise, reading. That's what I see for my life to protect my ears. I used to go out and make tons of new friends regardless of what city I was visiting. I loved life.

How can you balance tinnitus and socializing in your 20s, 30s and 40s? I want to strike a healthy balance and not fear loud noises so much. Maybe we become resilient to louder noises after 1-2 years of healing and I should hide out for that recovery time?

I am not a big video game fan and am an extrovert. I still want to explore cities, check out new nightlife venues and more with plugs but "plugs giving a false sense of security" legitimately scares me more than anything In the world.

Loud tinnitus is horrific. And I'm afraid I'll have to isolate myself to protect myself from worsening my tinnitus.

 

[JohnAdams]

kinda, yeah.

 

[RB2014]

Not the tinnitus, but the hearing loss has. I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm so used to the tinnitus now loud and soft that I just dont care anymore.

 

[Striveon]

I'm on the same boat as you, I am an extrovert but no longer know what to do... I still want to enjoy the only life we have but would not want to worsen tinnitus.
It's not knowing what sounds are or are not okay and which places are the best places to hang out.

Then, there are relationships... How do we meet people...

 

[erik]

I actually do more now than I did before tinnitus once I got over the initial shock and stress of it all. The only thing I really don't do any more is attend concerts but I hadn't done much of that in the years leading up to my T anyway.

How do you strike a healthy balance you ask? By just going out and doing it. I am not saying be reckless but go out occasionally, enjoy yourself in the company of others and try not to stress over where you are at and what you are doing. If it is loud, get some good quality ear plugs and get out there. Sure you may get a spike here or there but that can happen and does happen to most of us.

Isolating yourself to protect yourself is in fact one of the worst things you can do because it keeps you in the constant circle of fear and awareness over your tinnitus which in turn keeps you trapped.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

I was wondering if tinnitus has isolated any of you from meeting new people, attending weddings, parties or social events?

It did...has in certain ways. But over the years, I have learned to do things in different ways that works for me...
I am a social butterfly wherever I go/am, I do not need to be at a bar or party to socialize... so that was/is to my advantage. I also go to the drive in cinema instead of the indoor ones.... I bought a car that has a much quieter cabin, I do my grocery shopping online and have it deliver... I invite friends over (more than before) I stop to smell the flowers...

Outdoor events I proceed with caution...indoor events I avoid.

You have to find your own way with tinnitus...

 

[Autumnly]

Isolating yourself to protect yourself is in fact one of the worst things you can do because it keeps you in the constant circle of fear and awareness over your tinnitus which in turn keeps you trapped.

But in certain cases it might be necessary, for example if you also have severe pain hyperacusis. Also depends on how reactive your tinnitus is. Obviously I wouldn't recommend to completely isolate yourself but if you can't even talk anymore due to pain-hyperacusis, taking some time off to heal might be a good idea.

And you can also get a permanent spike even if you wear hearing protection. I got told to just go out there and live my life, you're safe with hearing protection and not to worry about spikes and all of that led to me ending up where I'm now.

 

[Flamingo1]

Good question @PureNoise . Yes, it has. I'm exactly in the same boat as you. I don't want to do anything that could make my tinnitus worse, which is just about everything. So I don't go out and after having moved to a new city eight months ago, have not even made one friend!! I've also given up music and dance which has added to my overall blah-ness.

 

[erik]

I think a lot of this decision depends on where you are at along your tinnitus journey. If it is fairly new, you will be more overly cautious as that is a natural reaction with a something new and alarming. As time passes, you tend to loosen up a little more.

I have had tinnitus for almost a decade (prob longer) and I care far less about my tinnitus now than years ago. Of course, I don't want it to get worse but after having it stay consistently the same year after year no matter what I do, you start to feel like the things that you originally thought would impact your tinnitus have no affect on it. I basically do whatever I want and keep earplugs on in a small canister on my key chain just in case. Sure it spikes, I have super loud days - sometimes many in a row and super low days - sometimes many in a row and everything in between but generally my tinnitus remains status quo.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

Then, there are relationships... How do we meet people...

Start a Tinnitus Dating Thread??? Wondering how many will check it out...lol

 

[erik]

Start a Tinnitus Dating Thread??? Wondering how many will check it out...lol

Would have to meet for dates at the library.

 

[Striveon]

Start a Tinnitus Dating Thread??? Wondering how many will check it out...lol

Hahaha noooooo , plus many people are from across the world...

 

[PureNoise]

I think a lot of this decision depends on where you are at along your tinnitus journey. If it is fairly new, you will be more overly cautious as that is a natural reaction with a something new and alarming. As time passes, you tend to loosen up a little more.

I have had T for almost a decade (prob longer) and I care far less about my T now than years ago. Of course, I don't want it to get worse but after having it stay consistently the same year after year no matter what I do, you start to feel like the things that you originally thought would impact your tinnitus have no affect on it. I basically do whatever I want and keep earplugs on in a small canister on my key chain just in case. Sure it spikes, I have super loud days - sometimes many in a row and super low days - sometimes many in a row and everything in between but generally my T remains status quo.

I agree, as it fades and gets better I will probably take a bit more risks. My doctor agreed for now no risks but reassess in 6 months to a year.

Do your super loud days and spikes have anything to do with the noise environment you are in such as a concert, a car show or a club or does it tend to spike randomly anyway? Are super loud days just a part of your normal tinnitus cycle? Just trying to see if you could have avoided those spikes and if they were due to loud noise exposure.

I don't want loud days. My tinnitus is currently fading thank god and I've experienced it really loud before that. I want to do what you suggested, do whatever I want within reason and with earplugs. If I have low tinnitus that I can barely only hear in quiet rooms and can live my life going out with ear plugs without my tinnitus increasing, then this condition will have almost zero impact on my life! That's the dream.

 

[Apocalypse77]

It did isolate me for many years. But now I have never felt as happy as this in my life. Tinnitus taught me to respect every day in my life.

 

[Sonic17]

@PureNoise Yes, I find tinnitus very isolating. However, I am older then you so I did not mind giving up the few loud social activities I used to enjoy. I spend more time alone because not only do I want to avoid noise, but I find it tiring having to listen to people above the sound of my tinnitus at work where I have to engage with people all day, sometimes I just need a break from everyone...

 

[Gman]

Yes it has isolated me more, but I'm actually ok with it. It is not how I would prefer to live my life, but is a necessary precaution against loud morons, of which there are many. It is much less stressful generally, but tinnitus, hyperacusis etc will still get worse if that's what the universe decides as it has in my case. Some people improve and others worsen. There's nothing anyone can do about it.
I'm not living in a "constant circle of fear" either.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Yes, it's isolated me very much.

I don't think I will last long living like this. I just hope that something comes out and saves me (and others)

 

[Daniel Lion]

Yes, it's isolated me very much.

I don't think I will last long living like this. I just hope that something comes out and saves me (and others)

You will last... we will last...

Hold tight... please keep some hope... I can't promise but it feels like over the next few years we will find some relief.

You are not alone in your suffering... Daniel

 

[Julien87]

Yes it has isolated me.
I don't go out as much as I used to. And when I go for a walk I generally head for quiet places where only few people go. I choose to be alone very often and I think it is mainly because of the fear of loud noises that I developed over the years (I am trying to overcome it).

 

[Yugal Rai]

@PureNoise, if your tinnitus doesn't get better in 2 years or so, are you going to stop being overly protective and start going out more?
Will you accept the baseline of your tinnitus is permanent, will you accept there won't be an improvement any more and will you accept that your ears won't heal after 2 years or so?

I'll be extremely cautious and protective for next 2 years and if it doesn't get better then... I don't know how will I spend my entire life being an anti social freak weirdo tbh.
I will most likely start playing with fire and accept all the consequences thrown at me, after 2 years with no improvement.

I'm actually so exhausted of being isolated and lonely, I just want to live my life like normal people without having to cover my ears everywhere I go. I literally get jealous of everyone.
I gave up all the things I love. I just want to freely go out and do things I like without being CONTROLLED and MANIPULATED by TINNITUS like a puppet doll.
I know, most of you in here won't understand this feeling of mine, because you're old enough to be my mom and dad.
It's hard to give up teenage life, and start living like a retired old man at this age already...

I just felt like this post was the best place to release my feelings.

 

[Jazzer]

 

[Jazzer]

Start a Tinnitus Dating Thread??? Wondering how many will check it out...lol

I am married to the sweetest lady, who understands me and my tinnitus so well.
I know how lucky I am.

 

[PeteJ]

PureNoise, I would be thankful you had fading. Not everyone does. Maybe ask for advice what others do and try to obtain a number of perspectives from different age groups etc.

It's hard for young people to adjust but I think you will prefer to have 3/10 tinnitus rather than risk loud tinnitus again because you decided to visit that club or whatever?

 

[RB2014]

I agree, as it fades and gets better I will probably take a bit more risks. My doctor agreed for now no risks but reassess in 6 months to a year.

Do your super loud days and spikes have anything to do with the noise environment you are in such as a concert, a car show or a club or does it tend to spike randomly anyway? Are super loud days just a part of your normal tinnitus cycle? Just trying to see if you could have avoided those spikes and if they were due to loud noise exposure.

I don't want loud days. My tinnitus is currently fading thank god and I've experienced it really loud before that. I want to do what you suggested, do whatever I want within reason and with earplugs. If I have low tinnitus that I can barely only hear in quiet rooms and can live my life going out with ear plugs without my tinnitus increasing, then this condition will have almost zero impact on my life! That's the dream.

The less that you isolate yourself and the more that you get out there and start meeting people again and having fun, the softer it will get. We do live in a loud society, but an occasional loud noise isn't going to kill you. It's all about volume over time if you look at hearing loss. If you limit the time to very short periods you won't do any further damage to your hearing. You might get a temporary spike, but it will be short lived and gone quickly if you get your life back.

 

[PureNoise]

Right now I'm protecting myself from all loud sounds hoping I get to hear silence again.

@Michael Leigh has good advice that you can still go to loud bars and nightclubs with ear plugs but if you notice a spike, heed that warning and stop going.

 

[Snake]

I'm not living anymore, my life now is being stuck at home for years now. It's literally a prison with internet access.

I'm 21, I never had a teenage life and i don't remember normal life. Deep in my heart I don't believe that I will ever experience it, it's 8 years now but become a problem in 2014, the first 3 years I had a low non-intrusive non-reactive tinnitus without any form of hyperacusis and now for 5 years I can't leave my house. Only if it's necessary like a hospital and only with plugs + muffs and being cautious about the environment, I have to run if I see any dog or an ambulance in my sight. Today my tinnitus is A LOT worse and reactive than it was, my hyperacusis is bad too. I'm crying every day and I'm heart broken writing this.

I can only count on the researchers, i can't do anything I tried everything and it failed. I can only try to further vegetate and wait, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to wait.

That's why you need to protect yourself before it's too late.

I'm 21 outside and something like 80 inside.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I'm not living anymore, my life now is being stuck at home for years now. It's literally a prison with internet access.

I'm 21, I never had a teenage life and i don't remember normal life. Deep in my heart I don't believe that I will ever experience it, it's 8 years now but become a problem in 2014, the first 3 years I had a low non-intrusive non-reactive tinnitus without any form of hyperacusis and now for 5 years I can't leave my house. Only if it's necessary like a hospital and only with plugs + muffs and being cautious about the environment, I have to run if I see any dog or an ambulance in my sight. Today my tinnitus is A LOT worse and reactive than it was, my hyperacusis is bad too. I'm crying every day and I'm heart broken writing this.

I can only count on the researchers, i can't do anything I tried everything and it failed. I can only try to further vegetate and wait, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to wait.

That's why you need to protect yourself before it's too late.

I'm 21 outside and something like 80 inside.

Wow, your story hit me hard

How very devastating and tragic that such a young human being, should have to suffer so vastly.

And it totally pisses me of that this shit (+ other horrible illnesses) could have been cured years ago if society actually gave a freaking shit and focused on using the big money on research to relieve suffering rather then create suffering by using them on warfare and fighting each other. I hate this world. I needed to say this - I am having a real bad day.

 

[PureNoise]

I'm not living anymore, my life now is being stuck at home for years now. It's literally a prison with internet access.

I'm 21, I never had a teenage life and i don't remember normal life. Deep in my heart I don't believe that I will ever experience it, it's 8 years now but become a problem in 2014, the first 3 years I had a low non-intrusive non-reactive tinnitus without any form of hyperacusis and now for 5 years I can't leave my house. Only if it's necessary like a hospital and only with plugs + muffs and being cautious about the environment, I have to run if I see any dog or an ambulance in my sight. Today my tinnitus is A LOT worse and reactive than it was, my hyperacusis is bad too. I'm crying every day and I'm heart broken writing this.

I can only count on the researchers, i can't do anything I tried everything and it failed. I can only try to further vegetate and wait, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to wait.

That's why you need to protect yourself before it's too late.

I'm 21 outside and something like 80 inside.

How did things get so bad?

 

[GSC]

And you can also get a permanent spike even if you wear hearing protection. I got told to just go out there and live my life, you're safe with hearing protection and not to worry about spikes and all of that led to me ending up where I'm now.

That's so fucking shitty. I see so many people saying that to newcomers, ENTs too, and they always get screwed over by this kind of line and worse off from what I have seen. My audiologist said, oh, it's good you're wearing hearing protection. Do you have loudness H, pain from noise, or are you just protecting? She said, ah, just protecting. Stay away from concerts, clubs, and too loud places. She said, even if the places aren't loud, listen to your ears and let them show you what is uncomfortable to them and follow through with it. They're telling you their threshold, which will hopefully get stronger as you allow them to heal. Put quiet moments into your day. If you're in school, definitely wear them at basketball games and football games as well.

 

[GSC]

Right now I'm protecting myself from all loud sounds hoping I get to hear silence again.

@Michael Leigh has good advice that you can still go to loud bars and nightclubs with ear plugs but if you notice a spike, heed that warning and stop going.

I would definitely not ever step into a night club ever again, until hearing regeneration is here, if I had Tinnitus more than a month.