Welcome to the board, Rob. I agree with above posters. They give you excellent advice on how to cope. I agree with Sailboardman about suicide and its consequence. It is not the solution we think it is. Youtube has many, many videos of people with near death experience from attempted suicides and come back to tell people that they are lucky to be alive again as what awaits on the other side after suicide is not what they expect.
Why I know about that? Not that I have attempted the unthinkable but I checked out possible consequence of such act during my worst time. As Sail puts it, it is a one way street for a lot of folks who did it. But during the intense sufferings, like you and many others here, the big S word did become very tempting during the darkest time of my hellish experience with my ultra high pitch dog whistle T plus severe hyperacusis. On top of these two torturous new masters of m life, I was also floored by relentless anxiety (A) and panic attacks (P) on auto mode from the moment I wake up hearing the loud scream of T, as I have been a victim of anxiety and panic disorders for decades prior to T & H. With A&P disorders and the brain so panic prone, no amount of will power or things I learned from internet forum could stop the attacks. T & H literally opened the flood gate of hell of panic attacks. So you add the combined sufferings of T, H, A & P and you have a life quite unbearable. I remember asking, 'Gosh! How can I live with something which is so unlivable'. So I checked Youtube videos on people who have done the S thing and came back to life, and realized that it is not a solution at all. Then I know I need to learn the wisdom from others about how to live with T and overcome it. I just need to go through the initial 'hell' with this thing using some strategies and given it enough time.
Remember when T is new, it usually traumatizes its victims to the point that the normal parasympathetic nervous system is taken over by the limbic system which functions in 'fight or flight' mode, and things will appear a lot worse than they are. You will be easily scared and the brain will zoom in on any bad or threatening sensation and magnify its significance. You will be flooded with distorted thoughts at this stage, especially 'catastrophic thinking' about the future (like my future is doomed or there is no future), as well as 'all or nothing thinking' (like my life is not worth it with T ringing). Beware of these thinkings. They are cognitive distortions (a termed use in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which can create havoc in people mental suffering if not challenged. Our reaction to T can determine the degree of suffering or its intrusiveness. You can read this up from Dr. Nagler's writing 'Letter to A Tinnitus Sufferer' and hopefully you will learn to counter/challenge your distorted thought:
http://www.ata.org/nagler-letter-to-tinnitus-sufferer
So there are many things we can do to help ourselves. I learned enough from others and gradually my condition improves over time. Now, I don't give a dime about T high or low. T has lost its tyranny over me. The loud dog whistle is still there. I could hear it above the jet noise in the last two flights, and above the sound of the roaring rapids in the salmon river I fish. This scream used to turn me into a mess. No Longer!!! My body has hardened to the sound and it simply won't react to it. Most of the time, T just got faded out of consciousness, even loud T. How is that possible you may ask? Well remember those flights you took before T. When you were deep into watching the movies, did you hear all that loud and all encompassing jet noise around you? Same here with T. When the brain is trained enough to think T is not a threat, it can ignore it and fade it out when you are busy with things. So don't give up so fast on your body's ability to heal.
Try to read up the success stories and learn some insights from others. Apply them and see which one fits you best. I post my success story too as well as many other members. From darkness to light.... Life can be beautiful again. Now I live an absolutely enjoyable life despite T. T can go to hell while I enjoy my earthly heaven.
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