How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?
- Thread starter Christophe_85
- Start date
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
quietatnight
Member
I guess that I was lucky to have found a very understanding woman in my life that has always been willing to work around things and accepts my limitations.
I have been going out with the same girl for 2 years now, I did not know that she even had tinnitus until 6 months into the first year, she just never brought it up. Even though I told here the first week that I had it and some limitations. I guess I was worth it.
I just found out recently that she may have meniers, you never know some things about another person until you have heart to heart talk sometimes.
We just take each day as it comes, that's the only way, at least that's how I see it anyway.
Good Luck to anyone struggling with trying to find and understanding partner.
Louie
Quietatnight
I have been going out with the same girl for 2 years now, I did not know that she even had tinnitus until 6 months into the first year, she just never brought it up. Even though I told here the first week that I had it and some limitations. I guess I was worth it.
I just found out recently that she may have meniers, you never know some things about another person until you have heart to heart talk sometimes.
We just take each day as it comes, that's the only way, at least that's how I see it anyway.
Good Luck to anyone struggling with trying to find and understanding partner.
Louie
Quietatnight
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
You are giving her complete control over your future. She can wrongfully accuse you of anything she wants (even decades later), and that will be enough to ruin you. And don't get me started talking about the fact that you have no say in determining whether to abort the parasite that might be the product of all of this "dating."
In the past I thought it would be cool getting a pet chimp. Then I learned that they can bite your face off, and the idea stopped appealing to me. When you date, you are taking bigger risks, and the chance that you will regret it is higher than the chance that you will regret getting a chimp.
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
Member@Bill Bauer post does make one want to laugh out loud @fishbone but sadly he has raised some serious and very true points. I strongly advise you to take note @Mat V of what he has written and be careful whom you date. An innocent man can easily be ruined by an unscrupulous and vindictive woman and the law will not be on his side. He is presumed guilty from the outset of whatever allegations she has put forward and it doesn't end there. Marriage these days for a man is fraught will difficulty and turmoil and I'm talking about the financial implications that are involved. Again he can be completely ruined especially when children are involved. It is for this reason many men are becoming like Bill, Mgtow when they consider what they will lose if the relationship breaks down. When a man gets into a relationship today with a woman, he has to become a detective and try and work out the person or mindset that he is dealing with, because his life can easily become a living nightmare only this one will seem like it has no end.
Michael
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
The present system hurts both men (directly) and women (indirectly). But it is what it is. The important thing is to take the current system into account, and not to just hope that things will always work out.
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
Michael, I see where you are coming from. I wasn't laughing at what Bill was saying. I loved the chimp part
Dating..... men, women can be either very sweet or brutal. I know this first hand and I do hope all take care of themselves..when hooking up with another person. I am in this area right now and It's not all that easy, especially for people that are older
No negativity was my aim, with Bill's post or any post in general...when I post on this awesome forum
Michael, I see where you are coming from. I wasn't laughing at what Bill was saying. I loved the chimp part
I laughed a lot too at the chimp part @fishbone and agree with all that you have said
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
I laughed a lot too at the chimp part @fishbone and agree with all that you have said
What I was trying to say is that both dating and interacting with a chimp are fun; unfortunately, both activities stop being enjoyable as soon as you become aware of the risks involved.
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
Dating is a tricky thing. In today's world, it has become more difficult. Building that chemistry these days is a lot harder too. For folks that have tinnitus, it makes it even more difficult. In my 20's i still had tinnitus, but not at this volume and the movies were not as loud, as todays movies.
Regardless of what I have or don't have, having that willpower to get what you want in life...that's how I feel and I want a pretty/intimate woman that I can enjoy making love to and enjoy my time with her. I don't know how far I can take it, with this HELL ringing in my ears...but it's worth a try for me
Regardless of what I have or don't have, having that willpower to get what you want in life...that's how I feel and I want a pretty/intimate woman that I can enjoy making love to and enjoy my time with her. I don't know how far I can take it, with this HELL ringing in my ears...but it's worth a try for me
Very well said Bill and I fully agree with you...
Michael
The qualities that you seek in a woman to settle down with are just fine @fishbone but please don't get side tracked by a pretty face. I'm not easily enamoured and I don't think you are either. However, for those reading this post that are, whether you are a man or woman. Look to one's character that is the true value of a person and their intentions.
Michael
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
I also want to say this. We make sacrifices in life, if we want something. I use to be a powerlifter/bodybuilder and then
i was overdosed with harsh meds that gave me 10% tendon damage and neurological issues. I got my fibro/arthritis from that. I stopped lifting weights for close to 7 years(I was lifting weights since i was 15). I was depressed and wanted my old body life back. That med that i was given gave me MUCH louder tinnitus and more ear fullness/pain as well. Then I thought back to how i dated the most stunning woman in my 20's and almost married her. I was with her for close to 7 years and it was amazing.
I said the hell with my tinnitus, fibro and my intense body pain and got into martial arts again and back into my powerlifting routines. My body right now is lighter, than it was 7 years ago, but my strength and size is much bigger and the vibes i get from women, i want is amazing.
It's all about sacrifice and just HOW bad you want it in life.
i was overdosed with harsh meds that gave me 10% tendon damage and neurological issues. I got my fibro/arthritis from that. I stopped lifting weights for close to 7 years(I was lifting weights since i was 15). I was depressed and wanted my old body life back. That med that i was given gave me MUCH louder tinnitus and more ear fullness/pain as well. Then I thought back to how i dated the most stunning woman in my 20's and almost married her. I was with her for close to 7 years and it was amazing.
I said the hell with my tinnitus, fibro and my intense body pain and got into martial arts again and back into my powerlifting routines. My body right now is lighter, than it was 7 years ago, but my strength and size is much bigger and the vibes i get from women, i want is amazing.
It's all about sacrifice and just HOW bad you want it in life.
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
I agree, with what you have said. I am a fit/hardbody and i am into woman that are into fitness. To have a pretty face doesn't make it work. How they are inside is something I look for as well.....I have learned this lesson before
You have achieved a lot @fishbone but it didn't come without hard work and determination. It is for this reason you have overcome your difficulties with tinnitus and continue to have a positive attitude to it and life. You are an inspiration to many in this forum.
All the best
Michael
To me when I see women at my age, it seems very complicated yes...
They want to go out, enjoy life at its best, going to concerts, nightclubs or even loud places or events...
Or simply to go to the Movies or watch something at TV not at very low volume...
No. Just cautious of the fact that a man has to be careful with whom he settles down with these days, as he stands to lose a lot if things don't work out. The rule of thumb. Don't get involved with anyone that hasn't got anything to bring to the table as it's a recipe for disaster.
- Aug 29, 2015
- 7,069
- Tinnitus Since
- 2004
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Meniere's Disease
@Michael Leigh knows me well,not just about tinnitus and health issues etc but the person I am inside.
In a man I like a caring person,the person he is inside and his tinnitus would be a part of that person and not a problem.
Shape,size,mobility or ethnic origen does not change the person inside.
Your views you share and respect for eachother and not out for a man for what he has but for everything he is and value and respect his views.
Look for the person inside, their personality will be true to you and become a part of eachother as you grow together and understand their needs.
You will find a special someone...
Love glynis
@Michael Leigh,
I hope your smiling I think I have described you
Hope your laughing
In a man I like a caring person,the person he is inside and his tinnitus would be a part of that person and not a problem.
Shape,size,mobility or ethnic origen does not change the person inside.
Your views you share and respect for eachother and not out for a man for what he has but for everything he is and value and respect his views.
Look for the person inside, their personality will be true to you and become a part of eachother as you grow together and understand their needs.
You will find a special someone...
Love glynis
@Michael Leigh,
I hope your smiling I think I have described you
Hope your laughing
My suggestion would be to find a girl with tinnitus, so she's obviously more understanding. Or you could go from woman to woman, find out which one really cares for your tinnitus.
FYI: from my post I meant dating in general, there's more to life than just dating woman. And believe me theirs a million things you could be doing that would be twice as productive and useful.
It's not just women with healthy ears who like to do those things. Men with healthy ears like like to do those things, too. It's not women who make dating complicated, it's this condition that makes everything harder.
Thank you for your answer...
Yes I agree, actually I would like to meet someone who also has T in some points... It would be easier in the every day life I guess...
Even easier solution would be to accept the fact of staying single... But I am not ok with that yet...
Otherwise I meet very few women. At my age almost every woman is with a guy planning mariage and family...
Very true Michael !
I would like to stay single because I am also very affraid of falling in love, I had quite a very bad experience ! :/
In an ideal world it would be nice to marry someone and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly difficult these days especially for men, and I'm talking from a financial point of view in a divorce settlement and especially when children are involved. He will most certainly end up losing the most and often will be financially ruined as the government will see to that. A lot of men are waking up and seeing MGTOW as the only way to protect what they have.
Sorry to sound so sobering
Michael
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