How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?

#661
Bill, you need to understand that you made @another sean feel like he was some kind of creep just for doing the most natural of things (asking a girl out). If you followed a lot of his posts you can tell that it is not easy for him to express something like that, he probably spent a lot of time to even consider it (especially with how bad his T is). Your comments totally shot him down and made him feel bad about himself.

I get your point.... that whole "women these days are xzy" but so are men and there are no shortages of scummy men either. But we can't all sit and wait for the perfect person to drop on our doorsteps, we just have to jump in and do our best.
 
#664
coffee_girl said:
that whole "women these days are xzy"
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That WASN'T my point.

My point was that the legal and political situation had changed, and that one's actions better begin reflecting that. Having said that, if one has nothing to lose, then one doesn't need to worry about any of it.
coffee_girl said:
you made @another sean feel like he was some kind of creep
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Wasn't my intention, sorry if that ended up being the outcome.
 
#665
Bill Bauer said:
My point was that the legal and political situation had changed, and that one's actions better begin reflecting that. Having said that, if one has nothing to lose, then one doesn't need to worry about any of it.
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I agree with you. A man has to be careful approaching a woman as he can easily be accused of sexual harassment. @coffee_girl statement is also true: asking woman out is the most natural thing in the world for a man to do, providing it's done right. However, society is trying to make men feel that it's something wrong to do. For some men it can be difficult getting the confidence to approach a woman, and with the me too movement in full flow, it's no wonder some are choosing to give women a wide birth. When one considers all the hassle and financial loss that a man will incur should a relationship or marriage fail. He will be more financially ruined if children are involved and could end up homeless! No wonder the Mgtow movement is on the increase.

Michael
 
#666
Hassle and financial loss for a man if a marriage should fail?? Hmmm, last time I checked women make money too. And what a sad stance on a cornerstone of life, to live and have loving relationships with others.

This whole thread is beyond bizarre. Beginning to think ringing in the ears is the least of some of you alls problems.
 
#667
ArtVandalay said:
Hassle and financial loss for a man if a marriage should fail?? Hmmm, last time I checked women make money too
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Indeed women do make money and rightly so. However, the truth is this: In the majority of cases a man is the one that will end up worst off in a divorce and if children are involved more so. I've seen it happen to men I know and in my family. Financially ruined by divorce. There is no way, I'm moving a woman into my house marry or cohabitate and risk losing what I've got.

Michael
 
#668
ArtVandalay said:
Hassle and financial loss for a man if a marriage should fail?? Hmmm, last time I checked women make money too. And what a sad stance on a cornerstone of life, to live and have loving relationships with others.

This whole thread is beyond bizarre. Beginning to think ringing in the ears is the least of some of you alls problems.
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What they mean is that the courts will always favor women over men (especially if children are involved). I think it's more than likely true considering how i've never heard someone say "he took the house and the kids too!!" whenever anyone gets divorced in my community lol
 
#671
ArtVandalay said:
you leave your house what like twice a month?
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I have a full time job (outside of my home) and I travel. I find grocery shopping boring and kinda depressing, so Yes, I go to a grocery store only about twice a month.
ArtVandalay said:
Not sure you would be considered an authority on anything remotely related to human interactions and relationships.
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I am in my forties. I slowly learned to "be myself" over the years. In other words, I haven't always been living a life without compromises (I am talking about life without a ball and chain).
 
#672
Bill Bauer said:
I have a full time job (outside of my home) and I travel. I find grocery shopping boring and kinda depressing, so Yes, I go to a grocery store only about twice a month.

I am in my forties. I slowly learned to "be myself" over the years. In other words, I wasn't always living a life without compromises (I am talking about life without a ball and chain).
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Ball and chain?? Wow, just wow. What do you do for fun? Stare at a wall, post here?? I'm being serious. Do agree with ya on the grocery store though, its really a miserable experience.
 
#673
The 'Me Too' movement aims to stop sexual harassment and empower its victims.

I don't want to derail the thread or make anyone angry by saying this, but it's true. If you believe sexual harassment of men or women is a bad thing, then I can't see what you can possibly have against it.

Even if you're only talking about women, much the same as the Black Civil Rights movement doesn't take anything away from white people, equality for women doesn't take anything away from men.

For all those who are afraid to approach women, please don't be. As long as you are respectful and know how to take no for an answer, it will not be a problem.
 
#674
Tanni said:
The 'Me Too' movement aims to stop sexual harassment and empower its victims.
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I fully agree with you but in many instances, this so called empowerment has been misused, where men have been falsely accused of sexual harassment. The Me Too movement started off as a noble cause. However, it will prove to do more harm than good especially to women, as more men are wising up. Check out YouTube to see the amount of women that advise men to go Mgtow because of your so called "empowerment" and the disruption that it has caused in society.

Michael
 
#675
Metoo started off with good intentions and then just spiraled into "this guy looked at me and then I felt raped" or "i went on the subway and men stared at my legs because i was wearing a skirt"....THE HORROR!!! Those sex slaves in Sudan really had it good, they have no idea what women in the west truly have to go through. :ROFL:
 
#677
Michael Leigh said:
I fully agree with you but in many instances, this so called empowerment has been misused, where men have been falsely accused of sexual harassment. The Me Too movement started off as a noble cause. However, it will prove to do more harm than good especially to women, as more men are wising up. Check out YouTube to see the amount of women that advise men to go Mgtow because of your so called "empowerment" and the disruption that it has caused in society.

Michael
Click to expand...
Thanks Michael.

Me Too is for men and women, and I don't believe it will do any harm to stop harassment of either gender. I believe that less than 1% of rape cases result in a conviction, so the far bigger problem is not false claims, but genuine claims not being believed or taken seriously. That's what 'Me Too' is trying to address.

Just Googled MGTOW and had a quick read. Sounds interesting, and I don't disagree that some people are far better suited to this kind of lifestyle than a 'traditional' one of marriage and family. (I may even be one of them!)

I just hope it doesn't make people 'bitter' against the other gender - most of us don't mean each other any harm.
 
#678
Tanni said:
For all those who are afraid to approach women, please don't be. As long as you are respectful and know how to take no for an answer, it will not be a problem
Click to expand...

I agree with @Bill Bauer No thank you as I can do with out the hassle. Furthermore, like most people, I don't take rejection well, so wouldn't approach a woman unless she's sending me signals... which they do when interested.

Michael
 
#679
Tanni said:
I just hope it doesn't make people 'bitter' against the other gender - most of us don't mean each other any harm.
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@Tanni
In the majority of cases most men will not complain of harassment from a woman as we have our own way of dealing with it. This is not say it can't happen especially in the workplace. I think all this political correctness, Me Too, and the way most men are unfairly treated by the courts in divorce, is going cause serious irreparable damage in society and the relationship between men and women.
 
#680
Michael Leigh said:
I agree with @Bill Bauer No thank you as I can do with out the hassle. Furthermore, like most people, I don't take rejection well, so wouldn't approach a woman unless she's sending me signals... which they do when interested.

Michael
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Michael Leigh said:
@Tanni
In the majority of cases most men will not complain of harassment from a woman as we have our own way of dealing with it. This is not say it can't happen especially in the workplace. I think all this political correctness, Me Too, and the way most men are unfairly treated by the courts in divorce, is going cause serious irreparable damage in society and the relationship between men and women.
Click to expand...

It's an adjustment period to be sure (they say the pendulum has to swing too far in both directions before it rests in the middle) but we know that relations between men and women can survive such unfairness because it's already happened. As you're probably already aware, prior to the 1920's(?) men were the ones who had all rights to the children and money, and could leave a woman destitute with ease. None of this treatment had a detrimental effect on relations between men and women - because if you're a straight man or woman who wants a romantic relationship, the fact is you need each other.

Until a highly sophisticated robot replacement comes along :)
 
#681
Tanni said:
Until a highly sophisticated robot replacement comes along :)
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I am all for fairness but the pendulum has swung too far the other way and I don't think it will "rest in the middle" to use your phrase. Anyone that thinks it will is living in cloud cuckoo land - I mean no disrespect. I was once in the dark and had notions and aspirations akin to what you describe. However, when I started looking around and see what's happened to friends and members of my family, both men and women. Most are divorced or had failed relationships one after the other. It's painful to hear of the destruction and upheaval it causes in a person's life.

The highly sophisticated robot to which you refer, will be with us sooner than you think for they are already in development. I don't mean to sound cynical just telling it how I see it.

Michael
 
#682
Michael Leigh said:
The highly sophisticated robot to which you refer, will be with us sooner than you think for they are already in development. I don't mean to sound cynical just telling it how I see it.

Michael
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Do you have yours on pre-order? ;) Just kidding!

You're totally right about divorce rates etc - and I think that's because it's not natural for humans to be monogamous but rather a societal constraint that people try and fail to live up to. That's not to say it's not possible, just that it doesn't come naturally. But I guess that's a topic for another thread :)
 
#684
Tanni said:
It's an adjustment period to be sure (they say the pendulum has to swing too far in both directions before it rests in the middle) but we know that relations between men and women can survive such unfairness because it's already happened. As you're probably already aware, prior to the 1920's(?) men were the ones who had all rights to the children and money, and could leave a woman destitute with ease. None of this treatment had a detrimental effect on relations between men and women - because if you're a straight man or woman who wants a romantic relationship, the fact is you need each other.

Until a highly sophisticated robot replacement comes along :)
Click to expand...
This is an awesome response, I love it (and very true). :rockingbanana:
 
#685
Tanni said:
That's not to say it's not possible, just that it doesn't come naturally. But I guess that's a topic for another thread :)
Click to expand...

On the contrary. This thread is about having a relationship with someone that has tinnitus. I agree with you that it's quite possible to have a successful marriage with someone, with or without tinnitus. One should keep in mind a few things before going down the matrimonial path. Marriage offers many things but fundamentally it is a "financial institution". If the marriage should end in divorce, it's then we see the true colours of the person we once loved start to show. Love has gone, flown out the window. Now both parties are clawing at each other to see who can get the largest share of the financial assets that were accumulated in the marriage. As already mentioned on this thread, 99.999 the man often ends up financially ruined especially when children are involved. Such an institution is far too risky for me to go into.

I agree with having a relationship with a woman but as long as she has her place and I have mine.
Michael
 
Last edited:
#688
Dear everyone!

I just wanted to give some feedback on this topic... :)

With time I find myself more and more at peace with being single...

Looking for a woman was already very complicated for me, and with tinnitus and hyperacusis, this makes it even more complicated!

I tried 2 small relationships with women (+/- 3 months each) but even the small things like watching TV was too loud for me and they didn't (couldn't) understand it...

I was very sad for a long time but nowadays I am more ok with my new life! :)

This year 2022 is a very important year for me, I moved to another appartment in another country and I try to improve myself more...

The only thing still here is of course the tinnitus...

I am still on antidepressants and I don't know if I could live without them...
 

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