How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?

[AZeurotuner]

You don't seem like the type to ignore people, i have zero on my ignore list...i just like to bug people as much as possible...it's fun =]

Bill puts people on his "ignore" list, but hits the "show ignored content" button on every thread he views. I know this because I've been on his ignore list for quite some time, yet he has responded to my posts MANY times after that.

 

[PanM]

Not just night clubs I'm afraid. There have been articles explaining how the average sound level at sit-down restaurants is dangerously high. What happens, especially on Friday and Saturday nights when people pack in and start drinking is they all raise their voice to compensate for the collective din and it is a vicious cycle. The drunker they get the more boisterous they get as well. I've experienced this first-hand when I show up at a place before it gets busy and it gets louder and louder and louder, not just as a function of how many people but how they progressively raise their voice more and more.

I get what you're saying because I've been monitoring db levels since my t onset.

If you use earplugs though aren't you safe?

 

[GlennS]

If you use earplugs though aren't you safe?

At a typical bar/restaurant, sure, but then you look dorky which is a problem when trying to impress a date. That's also one reason why I use the tissue/napkin approach. I know just the amount to shove in so it rolls the highs off but still allows me to follow a conversation and it's in deep enough that my head would need to be turned to the side for anyone to notice there's something stuck in there. (If it's a recycled napkin then it's easier to blend with skin color.) Regular foam earplugs stick out too much and even if I tear them in half, they muffle things to the point where you can't hear any high end and lose all the consonants in conversations. However, as bad as my hyperacusis may seem, the way others describe theirs it's clear some have it a lot worse. There are all sorts of earplugs designed to attenuate at different levels and frequencies but I don't really trust them. My low-tech solution works perfectly for me, although it really let me down when I saw Mission Impossible at Imax, hence the additional damage I fear it did. Paper is just not good enough for 120bB explosions. At some point it becomes so loud the waves penetrates right through your skull regardless of earplug type.

 

[another sean]

Due to H and TTTS?

I have reactive tinnitus and anything from a speaker at any volume spikes it.

 

[PanM]

At a typical bar/restaurant, sure, but then you look dorky which is a problem when trying to impress a date. That's also one reason why I use the tissue/napkin approach. I know just the amount to shove in so it rolls the highs off but still allows me to follow a conversation and it's in deep enough that my head would need to be turned to the side for anyone to notice there's something stuck in there. (If it's a recycled napkin then it's easier to blend with skin color.) Regular foam earplugs stick out too much and even if I tear them in half, they muffle things to the point where you can't hear any high end and lose all the consonants in conversations. However, as bad as my hyperacusis may seem, the way others describe theirs it's clear some have it a lot worse. There are all sorts of earplugs designed to attenuate at different levels and frequencies but I don't really trust them. My low-tech solution works perfectly for me, although it really let me down when I saw Mission Impossible at Imax, hence the additional damage I fear it did. Paper is just not good enough for 120bB explosions. At some point it becomes so loud the waves penetrates right through your skull regardless of earplug type.

If she doesn't like my earplugs she can go f^#^* herself, I'll approach someone else who's better!

Musician's one size fits all are perfectly fine for me....I'm waiting for the custom molded to arrive.

Musician's earplugs provide almost flat db attenuation.

Cinema is a loud event. I'll just probably avoid it altogether.

 

[PanM]

I have reactive tinnitus and anything from a speaker at any volume spikes it.

Mine is reactive too but db wise going out to the world is louder than watching a movie at low volume...

Also in high end movies most of the audio is flat meaning there are no spikes in volume.

This means you can leave it at low volume and still hear the dialogue...if you can't you can use subtitles.

 

[just1morething]

I love threads like that. People reveal who they really are, and I get to populate my Ignore list.

Are you related to Stalin? I thought you were of Russian ancestry.

 

[AZeurotuner]

At a typical bar/restaurant, sure, but then you look dorky which is a problem when trying to impress a date. That's also one reason why I use the tissue/napkin approach. I know just the amount to shove in so it rolls the highs off but still allows me to follow a conversation and it's in deep enough that my head would need to be turned to the side for anyone to notice there's something stuck in there. (If it's a recycled napkin then it's easier to blend with skin color.) Regular foam earplugs stick out too much and even if I tear them in half, they muffle things to the point where you can't hear any high end and lose all the consonants in conversations. However, as bad as my hyperacusis may seem, the way others describe theirs it's clear some have it a lot worse. There are all sorts of earplugs designed to attenuate at different levels and frequencies but I don't really trust them. My low-tech solution works perfectly for me, although it really let me down when I saw Mission Impossible at Imax, hence the additional damage I fear it did. Paper is just not good enough for 120bB explosions. At some point it becomes so loud the waves penetrates right through your skull regardless of earplug type.

I find that going to bars and restaurants on weeknights allows me to completely avoid having to worry about loud background noise.

BJ's is a prime example of this, on weekends it's crazy packed, I definitely wouldn't stay for any extended period of time without earplugs. But Thursday night for example, it's MUCH more quiet, not library quiet of course, but enough so that I'm not worried at all about hearing damage.

I'm met plenty of people without tinnitus that don't like noisy, crowded venues, you absolutely do not need to take a date out to a loud bar to impress her. Plus it's much easier to connect with someone when you can hear them without having to yell in each other's ears.

Also, you don't even need to go to a restaurant or bar, that's what EVERYONE does. Cook at gourmet meal, buy a fine bottle of red wine, and meet your date at the park for a picnic. I will promise you that he/she will be extremely impressed that you thought outside of the box, rather than following the boring old "norm" for dating.

 

[another sean]

Mine is reactive too but db wise going out to the world is louder than watching a movie at low volume...

Also in high end movies most of the audio is flat meaning there are no spikes in volume.

This means you can leave it at low volume and still hear the dialogue...if you can't you can use subtitles.

Up until now I've been just using subtitles. But I am going to try an experiment next week to see if I can listen to speakers again. I purchased a low pass filter and with it I will be able to cut everything above 6khz completely. It may work since my damage is at 11khz. We'll see.

 

[another sean]

Here is some relationship advice for both guys and girls from my second favorite movie because all of you are money.



Now get out there and be the bear.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Are you related to Stalin? I thought you were of Russian ancestry.

Stalin was a Georgian.

 

[Bill Bauer]

hits the "show ignored content" button on every thread he views

Not Every thread. But you are right - I am not fanatical about it.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Now get out there and be the bear.

Sounds like a #MeToo incident waiting to happen.

 

[another sean]

Sounds like a #MeToo incident waiting to happen.

nah, inspiring a little confidence in people in asking someone out on a date so they are not alone for the rest of their lives doesn't equate to sexual harassment. usually sexual harassment comes from people who don't bother asking and just do as they please.

 

[PanM]

nah, inspiring a little confidence in people in asking someone out on a date so they are not alone for the rest of their lives doesn't equate to sexual harassment. usually sexual harassment comes from people who don't bother asking and just do as they please.

I don't think so I think sexual harassment just comes from sh*47 people.

Up until now I've been just using subtitles. But I am going to try an experiment next week to see if I can listen to speakers again. I purchased a low pass filter and with it I will be able to cut everything above 6khz completely. It may work since my damage is at 11khz. We'll see.

I'm sure you can just try it at low volume it will actually help you(due to residual inhibition).

I was afraid to play music and I just started at very low volume and slowly increase it.

I think it is mostly psychological(fear) that sets you back. At least for me it was and it helped me tremendously.

If something annoys you(for me it's plastic bags) then wear earplugs.

Sidenote: don't watch the movie with sh*786 speakers(laptop,cellphone) but on good speakers.

 

[PanM]

I'm met plenty of people without tinnitus that don't like noisy, crowded venues, you absolutely do not need to take a date out to a loud bar to impress her. Plus it's much easier to connect with someone when you can hear them without having to yell in each other's ears.

Also, you don't even need to go to a restaurant or bar, that's what EVERYONE does. Cook at gourmet meal, buy a fine bottle of red wine, and meet your date at the park for a picnic. I will promise you that he/she will be extremely impressed that you thought outside of the box, rather than following the boring old "norm" for dating.

 

[Bill Bauer]

inspiring a little confidence in people in asking someone out on a date so they are not alone for the rest of their lives doesn't equate to sexual harassment

Tell that to a #MeToo accuser, and see how that works out for you.

 

[another sean]

Tell that to a #MeToo accuser, and see how that works out for you.

I now see what others meant about the toxicity here.

 

[GlennS]

I now see what others meant about the toxicity here.

You know what they say...never talk about politics or religion.

 

[Starthrower]

I now see what others meant about the toxicity here.

@another sean do not let this affect you!!

nah, inspiring a little confidence in people in asking someone out on a date so they are not alone for the rest of their lives doesn't equate to sexual harassment. usually sexual harassment comes from people who don't bother asking and just do as they please.

You are right. And I love the post about using sub titles and your date or friend using head phones watching a movie at home.

I'm met plenty of people without tinnitus that don't like noisy, crowded venues, you absolutely do not need to take a date out to a loud bar to impress her. Plus it's much easier to connect with someone when you can hear them without having to yell in each other's ears.

Also, you don't even need to go to a restaurant or bar, that's what EVERYONE does. Cook at gourmet meal, buy a fine bottle of red wine, and meet your date at the park for a picnic. I will promise you that he/she will be extremely impressed that you thought outside of the box, rather than following the boring old "norm" for dating.

This is what you should think about....it is SO true.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I now see what others meant about the toxicity here.

The toxicity is not here - it's out there.

"You can ignore reality, but you won't be able to ignore the consequences of you ignoring reality."

 

[coffee_girl]

You can always ask them to turn the volume down at those restaurants, usually if you ask and are nice about it (maybe leave a big tip)...they will do it for you.

The toxicity is not here - it's out there.

"You can ignore reality, but you won't be able to ignore the consequences of you ignoring reality."

So are you gonna ignore me or not?

Dude Sean is a nice guy, gimme a break.

 

[just1morething]

pretty sure i've eaten human while I was there.

Of course you did. So you must like (The Walking Dead) series then? I've heard rump roast is good. Tastes just like chicken.

 

[coffee_girl]

Of course you did. So you must like (The Walking Dead) series then? I've heard rump roast is good. Tastes just like chicken.

I've never watched the Walking Dead, and everything tastes like chicken. I do believe human tastes more like pork (not that I know).

 

[just1morething]

I do believe human tastes more like pork (not that I know).

That reminds me that I need to lose 20 pounds or more. I've "porked out" because of my tinnitus. Maybe related to meds I take to try to reduce my tinnitus? Some meds have weight gain as a side effect. I also have to stop eating fast food and drinking high calorie soda pop.

 

[just1morething]

@coffee_girl, Maybe prepare a delicious rump roast for your other half for the Super Bowl as a special treat. Note: It doesn't have to be a human rump roast.

 

[Christophe_85]

My problem is the fear of making tinnitus worse.

I feel like a guy will be turned off by a female who has tinnitus, plus the rollercoaster of emotions due to tinnitus and the paranoia of tinnitus getting worse.

What are we supposed to do if everything is so loud?
I feel like dating just wouldn't be for me anymore.

Before you got Tinnitus, did you have dates with women ?

 

[Bill Bauer]

Before you got Tinnitus, did you have dates with women ?

Striveon is a woman.

 

[Christophe_85]

Striveon is a woman.

Ah ok, the message sounded like a man...

 

[Striveon]

Before you got Tinnitus, did you have dates with women ?

Lmaoooo yes I had dates with guys, I'm a female