I understand the difficulties that you are going through with tinnitus at the moment. Don't be too hard on yourself. Take each day at a time. Remember to use low-level sound enrichment, especially at night. Read my thread: The Habituation Process.
Thank you so much for your understanding and encouraging words. I've been using sound enrichment for a few months now. In the beginning stages of my tinnitus, it was more about masking the noise, which I still rely on during particularly bad days. I understand that in order to habituate to tinnitus, it's important to hear it above the sound enrichment. However, I still find the sound so unpleasant that it immediately puts me in a bad mood or even triggers depressive thoughts, so I tend to prefer masking it with other sounds.
While my tinnitus isn't particularly loud, it is extremely intrusive, and its impact on my life feels overwhelming.
I really hope that through habituation, my brain will soon stop classifying the noise as a threat, or at least as less of a threat. If that happens, it seems like the noise would become less unpleasant and intrusive, maybe even quieter, or at least easier to block out over time. When that happens, I imagine there will be less stress, which would help reduce the anxiety, depression, and sleep issues I've been struggling with—right?
It is understandable that on bad days, you lose hope and feel despair. Please don't be too hard on yourself, as I believe your circumstances will improve with time. Talk to your doctors and explain how you feel. They may advise that you take medication that can act as a safety net so you don't become too down.
Thank you again for your understanding and supportive words. I'm in contact with my doctors and have been taking a low dose of antidepressants for six months to help with sleep (7.5 mg of mirtazapine). I tried an SSRI (sertraline) back in March, but unfortunately, I didn't tolerate it well at all. I believe my doctors are considering increasing my antidepressant dosage, but I'm very skeptical due to some negative past experiences.
In addition, I take some supplements that are supposed to help, as well as Lasea, a natural lavender extract said to have anxiolytic and antidepressant effects.
I know that after six months, some people are well on their way to habituation, with the noise bothering them much less or even being something they can block out. However, I've also heard that for some, it can take longer—one or two years—so there is still hope for me, right?
The most challenging part is figuring out how to persevere while maintaining a somewhat normal life, going to work, and still being present for my loved ones.
I don't agree with what your tinnitus advisers have told you. When tinnitus is severe, it can prevent a person from doing the things that they would like to do, and this includes the ability to work. Anyone who has suffered from severe tinnitus knows this. I mean no disrespect to your tinnitus advisers, but in my opinion, they have never suffered from severe tinnitus; otherwise, they would be more understanding and never mentioned that you should continue to work. When the time is right, you can return to work, but it is not now.
I have corresponded with and counseled people with tinnitus for many years. Reading your words and experience tells me that you are going through some difficulties at the moment. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, for they don't know what you're going through, and they aren't living your life.
Thank you again for your understanding! Believe me, I want to work and would love to be able to return to my job as soon as possible—but right now, I feel too unwell, too unstable, and too consumed by my tinnitus to manage that.
As you mentioned, I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty for not being able to function, for not being able to work, and for struggling to cope with this condition. Many people in my circle of acquaintances and family just don't understand how I feel or why I'm suffering so much.
It's reassuring to know that other tinnitus sufferers have also been unable to work for a time, as I see from your reply and your posts on Tinnitus Talk, all of which I'm reading right now! It gives me hope when you say that I can return to work when the time is right!
It is good that you are keeping yourself occupied. Once again, please talk to your doctors about any anxiety or depression you might have. Take time and try not to push yourself too hard.
Thank you for that. So, if I understand correctly, you're suggesting that I shouldn't overexert myself despite my condition?
I've been doing a lot—walking, cycling, gardening—and as a result, I've lost quite a bit of weight since developing tinnitus. I also feel more exhausted than usual.
I've always had a tendency to get tired quickly, and I used to find strength and relaxation in silence, whether it was reading in peace, watching TV, or listening to music—activities that are no longer possible for me right now.