I Don't Get It... Tinnitus Got Better and Is Now Worse

[erniej]

I just spent two weeks in a mental health ward because I wanted to end my life because of the horrible volume of my tinnitus. At the end of the two weeks my tinnitus became a lot quieter and was very tolerable.
After a couple of hours of returning home it came roaring back with full volume. I can't understand what happened.. Now I'm back feeling like I want to kill myself again.

 

[Aaron123]

Different/stronger meds while in the hospital?
More structured time with activities there verses less structured time (more time to think about/focus on tinnitus) at home?
Different environment in some other way that you can point to?

 

[erniej]

More time to think about it. When I started watching another episode of House MD for the 50th time I felt the boredom creeping in and remember feeling a let down feeling of having to be alone and face all the boredom again. When I was working my job required extreme concentration. Went through long periods when I didn't even notice it. Now on disability it's just one boring day after another. People tell me to go for long walks in the fresh air. They don't get it. I did notice that in the dayroom at the hospital I was distracted by the goings on around me and the tinnitus would decrease.
I don't have any place like that to go to.
Yea, as soon as I turned on House MD it came back. Boredom.
I was getting some support from my youngest daughter but she got sick of hearing about it and stopped picking up the phone. One of the reasons I didn't want to kill myself was because I didn't want to cause her any pain. Now if she don't care what do I have left?

 

[MCB]

Surely there must be something you enjoy doing that could take your mind off of it?

 

[glynis]

I would ring the mental health ward up to see if they have any follow on care for you to support you at home.

The British tinnitus association have an advice line also.

At home it's always best have sound on around you and the tv on,even if not watching it will provide some background sound to help your tinnitus.
Have a talk with your doctor for a ENT referral and to audiology who might be able provide maskers that admit white noise that can help some people .

You are not on your own now as we can support you also around the clock and make some friends along the way.

Tinnitus and the unwanted emotions can be hard going but it does get easier over time.
Take care and keep posting for support...lots of love glynis

Ps are you in the UK...if so where about and I will see if their is a tinnitus support group in your area for you.

 

[Aaron123]

I would ring the mental health ward up to see if they have any follow on care for you to support you at home.

This is a great idea. Let them know how you are doing. Maybe instead of inpatient care they have the option of outpatient care. That could help with the transition. Good luck!