Member- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
Which is why you can never understand @dpdx because you had mild intermittent T that hasn't pushed you to the edge of sanity.
I Have Un-Habituated
- Thread starter Gl0w0ut
- Start date
Which is why you can never understand @dpdx because you had mild intermittent T that hasn't pushed you to the edge of sanity.
Raphael7713
Member
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
Habituation is just a overly used term for mild tinnitus that's easy to ignore. And the minute it gets louder people 'Un' habituate, because funnily enough it's become loud, constant, annoying and can be heard more often.
If habituation is the firm foundation of recovery we're all looking for how come since my T nightmare began I have managed to inadvertently unhabituate 2 people who were trying to help me, one in real life and one on another forum. I didn't intend this. I'm not a ****. But if just me feeling dreadful and suicidal induces so much fear in T sufferers who purport to being habituated, that's its enough to unhabituate them I suspect it's not all it's cracked up to be and as I said I believe they were living on a cliff just waiting for it to collapse again.
If habituation is the firm foundation of recovery we're all looking for how come since my T nightmare began I have managed to inadvertently unhabituate 2 people who were trying to help me, one in real life and one on another forum. I didn't intend this. I'm not a ****. But if just me feeling dreadful and suicidal induces so much fear in T sufferers who purport to being habituated, that's its enough to unhabituate them I suspect it's not all it's cracked up to be and as I said I believe they were living on a cliff just waiting for it to collapse again.
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
I respect you a lot, but I have to disagree. My tinnitus is NOT mild at all and its loud and disruptive and intrusive. There is no chance for me to ignore this loud beast that rings EEEEEEEEE 24-7, I cannot ignore the ship horn/microwave noise in my head. Even with all this madness, I have habituated 95% and live my life and don't care for the noise. don't scan for the noise and just live my life and enjoy it the best I can.
People can habituate to tinnitus no matter how loud the tinnitus is. I had tinnitus as a teen and it was very mild and I could not hear it unless I was in total silence. I was not able to habituate at all as a youngster. I would give my life to have that mild tinnitus again. Now, as a mature adult, my tinnitus is horrible and my hearing is horrible. I have habituated and I live a good to great life.
Habituation all comes down to the person, and their mentality. It's not easy to live with the noise (mild or loud) but it can be done and habituation is possible if we LET IT HAPPEN.
Habituation DOES NOT mean that we cannot hear the tinnitus.....It simply means that we can live our lives and move forward even with the tinnitus...
One thing that's often overlooked is our personality type. If you are an obsessive, perfectionist type of person, then tinnitus will most likely be much harder to deal with. There are many factors that go into dealing with this condition which can influence how one will likely, or not likely, cope. Even things like the extent of our support network and how we perceive our friends or family to be around us (whether they care or not).
The loudness of our T also makes a significant difference in my opinion. I've had it mild for a significant part of my life and I habituated after a month or two. If I'm being honest, I can't remember how long it took because it was so long ago, but I do remember going to my gp because I was losing sleep over it. Anyway, fast forward to three years ago and my T became very intrusive and life changing. Very different to the mild T I had to the point that it almost finished me off, and it also ended my live music career. However, there are people who adapt to loud intrusive T, I'm one of those people, and I'm also one of those people who thought I'd never be happy again.
If I'm being honest, I've got other problems nowadays that bother me more than my tinnitus does, even though it's screaming loud 24/7. The emotional part of our brain is intrinsically linked with how we feel. If you fight against the noise constantly then you will always be on high alert. For this reason, tinnitus can be incredibly difficult to adapt to and to accept. And one of the main reasons is that it controls on our emotions on a very primal level that's difficult to alter. You can't just wish to be happy; with tinnitus controlling your thoughts then it's also controlling your mood.
My secret was to take the control (and power away) and just let it scream at me all day. Over time I realised my brain got bored and stopped telling me to be worried and bothered about it and instead I became indifferent. My life has always had problems so maybe I learnt to cope early on? I don't know, but I do know people who have it severe who are not majorly affected by it. This does NOT demean those whose lives have been wrecked, because we have no idea what their life is like. There are just too many variables.
How we deal with stress, and trouble, is hard-wired into us. We cannot change who we are, but we can change the way we think by reprogramming our thought patterns, and this is where CBT can possibly help certain people.
Our thoughts control every aspect of our being. If we are happy it's because we think we are happy and our CNS and endocrine system will oblige. If we are constantly sad, it's because we are either clinically depressed, or we have too many bad thoughts that are controlling our life.
My dad is a superhero, and is a perfect example of a personality type where nothing health-wise, seemingly affects him. He has severe T and is losing his eyesight on top of it. He has heart failure, his lungs keep filling with fluid, and he has had cancer twice; yet he has never moaned, complained, or been down about any of it. To me this seems impossible and is incomprehensible. But some people really are wired this way, and we have many others who are on this spectrum from one extreme to another.
You could argue that tinnitus wrecked my life, but again, that's down to perspective. I'm still alive, I have a beautiful daughter and a lot of other good things going for me. I'd rather focus on those and stay happy; this is why we need to change our goal posts sometimes.
The loudness of our T also makes a significant difference in my opinion. I've had it mild for a significant part of my life and I habituated after a month or two. If I'm being honest, I can't remember how long it took because it was so long ago, but I do remember going to my gp because I was losing sleep over it. Anyway, fast forward to three years ago and my T became very intrusive and life changing. Very different to the mild T I had to the point that it almost finished me off, and it also ended my live music career. However, there are people who adapt to loud intrusive T, I'm one of those people, and I'm also one of those people who thought I'd never be happy again.
If I'm being honest, I've got other problems nowadays that bother me more than my tinnitus does, even though it's screaming loud 24/7. The emotional part of our brain is intrinsically linked with how we feel. If you fight against the noise constantly then you will always be on high alert. For this reason, tinnitus can be incredibly difficult to adapt to and to accept. And one of the main reasons is that it controls on our emotions on a very primal level that's difficult to alter. You can't just wish to be happy; with tinnitus controlling your thoughts then it's also controlling your mood.
My secret was to take the control (and power away) and just let it scream at me all day. Over time I realised my brain got bored and stopped telling me to be worried and bothered about it and instead I became indifferent. My life has always had problems so maybe I learnt to cope early on? I don't know, but I do know people who have it severe who are not majorly affected by it. This does NOT demean those whose lives have been wrecked, because we have no idea what their life is like. There are just too many variables.
How we deal with stress, and trouble, is hard-wired into us. We cannot change who we are, but we can change the way we think by reprogramming our thought patterns, and this is where CBT can possibly help certain people.
Our thoughts control every aspect of our being. If we are happy it's because we think we are happy and our CNS and endocrine system will oblige. If we are constantly sad, it's because we are either clinically depressed, or we have too many bad thoughts that are controlling our life.
My dad is a superhero, and is a perfect example of a personality type where nothing health-wise, seemingly affects him. He has severe T and is losing his eyesight on top of it. He has heart failure, his lungs keep filling with fluid, and he has had cancer twice; yet he has never moaned, complained, or been down about any of it. To me this seems impossible and is incomprehensible. But some people really are wired this way, and we have many others who are on this spectrum from one extreme to another.
You could argue that tinnitus wrecked my life, but again, that's down to perspective. I'm still alive, I have a beautiful daughter and a lot of other good things going for me. I'd rather focus on those and stay happy; this is why we need to change our goal posts sometimes.
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
@fishbone you are truly the exception in terms of loud T habituation and I admire you for that.
@Ed209 I agree with everything you say. It makes absolute sense. And also perfectly confirms why some with loud T live and others sadly die.
You seem a very balanced measured guy which is why I think you've coped remarkably well. Unfortunately I was never this way. I've always been artistic in terms of tenperament, reactive, short fused, emotional, sensitive, often irrational and prone to solitude and dare I say it, dark moods. My humour, like a lot of comedic types, was my cover for my deep melancholy. Unfortunately i suspect it's genetic. My father was funny and warm but also hot headed and permanently stressed, my mother anxious and I suspect, although functioning, bipolar. Her family is littered with alcoholism, madness and suicide. My cousin leapt to his death in a river a few years ago.
Tinnitus was not good news for me. I worked incredibly hard for years to keep my mental balance aware of my predispositions. And I did a great job for 38 years. Too good a job. I should have been weaker, I should have sought help when I was struggling. I shouldn't have soldiered on trying to be funny, strong, caring for everyone else.......Sometimes it feels like Tinnitus was just waiting to pick me off.
@Ed209 I agree with everything you say. It makes absolute sense. And also perfectly confirms why some with loud T live and others sadly die.
You seem a very balanced measured guy which is why I think you've coped remarkably well. Unfortunately I was never this way. I've always been artistic in terms of tenperament, reactive, short fused, emotional, sensitive, often irrational and prone to solitude and dare I say it, dark moods. My humour, like a lot of comedic types, was my cover for my deep melancholy. Unfortunately i suspect it's genetic. My father was funny and warm but also hot headed and permanently stressed, my mother anxious and I suspect, although functioning, bipolar. Her family is littered with alcoholism, madness and suicide. My cousin leapt to his death in a river a few years ago.
Tinnitus was not good news for me. I worked incredibly hard for years to keep my mental balance aware of my predispositions. And I did a great job for 38 years. Too good a job. I should have been weaker, I should have sought help when I was struggling. I shouldn't have soldiered on trying to be funny, strong, caring for everyone else.......Sometimes it feels like Tinnitus was just waiting to pick me off.
@Bam
Hi, I'm emmalee.
I have read every one of your posts, your gift for the written word is unmeasurable and I envy you.
Habituation is a word that I do not use, I don't even like the sound of it when I say it out loud. I tend to use "acceptance" when dealing with my tinnitus. Acceptance is where I am right now.
Life is a gift and we should not, ever, think of it in any other way, in my very humble opinion. You have so much to offer, you really do. Tinnitus will only "pick you off" if you let it.
@fishbone @Equalizer, @Jazzer, @dpdx and you all come to mind when I think of the worst possible cases of tinnitus and my heart breaks to think of the pain that each of you endures. I would gladly accept my tinnitus and never try to wish it away if it meant that each one of you could be released from its grip.
I would share the story of my traumatic childhood if I thought it would help in any way, but it simply won't. I am a survivor, this goes without saying, and perhaps this is why I am able to carry on and accept my tinnitus. It is a constant tea kettle whistle that never, ever stops. It is relentless. However, I will continue on. I have come too far and overcome too much to give up now.
I believe that @Michael Leigh is the best judge of how happy/unhappy he is with his life, not one of us truly knows how the other is feeling.
I am rambling now. It is very seldom that I post in threads that can get heated, I try to keep up with the positive ones, this helps me so much more.
emma
Hi, I'm emmalee.
I have read every one of your posts, your gift for the written word is unmeasurable and I envy you.
Habituation is a word that I do not use, I don't even like the sound of it when I say it out loud. I tend to use "acceptance" when dealing with my tinnitus. Acceptance is where I am right now.
Life is a gift and we should not, ever, think of it in any other way, in my very humble opinion. You have so much to offer, you really do. Tinnitus will only "pick you off" if you let it.
@fishbone @Equalizer, @Jazzer, @dpdx and you all come to mind when I think of the worst possible cases of tinnitus and my heart breaks to think of the pain that each of you endures. I would gladly accept my tinnitus and never try to wish it away if it meant that each one of you could be released from its grip.
I would share the story of my traumatic childhood if I thought it would help in any way, but it simply won't. I am a survivor, this goes without saying, and perhaps this is why I am able to carry on and accept my tinnitus. It is a constant tea kettle whistle that never, ever stops. It is relentless. However, I will continue on. I have come too far and overcome too much to give up now.
I believe that @Michael Leigh is the best judge of how happy/unhappy he is with his life, not one of us truly knows how the other is feeling.
I am rambling now. It is very seldom that I post in threads that can get heated, I try to keep up with the positive ones, this helps me so much more.
emma
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
@emmalee Thank you Emma. Very kind of you to say. I have a huge passion for writing and to be able to express myself here, even under such dire circumstances, is a lifeline and a gift which I thank all of you for.......Although I would advise you to only scroll through my posts on your better days as I'll concede I'm maybe not the breeziest of reads.x
Oh dear, what on earth have I done to upset you @Bam ? You have made some harsh statements about me which deserves an honest answer. Please understand I'm not upset by your comments for you are entitled to your opinion. A couple of things you mention that I do object to though. Whilst I live in a in a nice modest 4 bedroom detached chalet Bungalow, here in Brighton on the south coast of England. It is by no means a crappy rundown building. Please see the attached photo if I'm able to upload it. I live up on a hill and have beautiful view over Patcham village towards the south downs.
I spend some of my time visiting tinnitus forums in the hope to help people with this condition as I was once helped many years ago. I am quite happy and content with my life at present, and assure you that is no lie. I am an avid listener to classical, opera and jazz music through my HI-FI, which I have spent a lot of time putting together and tweaking to get the best sound from it as possible. My listening room is acoustically treated so I can hear the highest quality sound reproduction from my vinyl records and CDs.
I do not live in constant fear of my tinnitus and neither do I obsess over it. Habituation is real and I have written many posts about it which can be accessed on my "started threads". It does have limitations for some people. With the help of medication and treatment a person can achieve a lot to improve the quality of their life with tinnitus. @emmalee is quite right when saying I am the best judge of how happy or unhappy my life is. This is the reason I have replied to your post.
I wish you well.
Michael
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fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
Why such harsh words for @Michael Leigh? He's one of the most valuable members on this forum. He has been super supportive of many folks here and his efforts are beyond amazing. Just because he is on this site, does not mean that he hates his life. I come here to support and care for you folks that suffer. I can live my life just fine with this garbage tinnitus I have. I also grew up in the era of America Online (AOL) and love being on the computer. I think you singled him out in a wrong way. There is no reason, to be so harsh towards him.....
He comes here because he cares for you folks, just like I do. I have never seen him, post a thread asking for support. I sometimes(very rare) post threads because I live alone and need support. It's never based on my tinnitus....
I'm not angry at all, just feel that your attack on him was not right....
That's a matter of opinion. As helpful as he can be, I find him to be rude, pretentious and obnoxious. He reminds of a character from an old UK BBC programme called "keeping up with appearances" that character was called Hyacinth Bucket but she instisted that it was pronounced "bouquet" even though it was indeed pronounced as "Bucket" Hyacinth was rude, pretentious etc and tried to put on this whole facade of being somebody of "grandeur"
Micheal to me is the male equivalent of this character. I find it highly amusing if I'm being honest.
But that's just my lowly opinion.
- Aug 29, 2015
- 7,069
- Tinnitus Since
- 2004
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Meniere's Disease
A couple of posts on this page are a bit personal towards @Michael Leigh.
Please read this part of the forum rules.
"Be sensitive to, and respectful of, other members' feelings.
Treat others with respect, kindness and empathy.
II.
Do not judge, belittle, harass or insult your fellow members or their conditions thereof.
Such action will result in either a warning or ban, depending on the severity.
There is no place for hostile comments on Tinnitus Talk".
Please read this part of the forum rules.
"Be sensitive to, and respectful of, other members' feelings.
Treat others with respect, kindness and empathy.
II.
Do not judge, belittle, harass or insult your fellow members or their conditions thereof.
Such action will result in either a warning or ban, depending on the severity.
There is no place for hostile comments on Tinnitus Talk".
I'm a tad late to your thread so I hope you're still here to read my reply. A lot of what you wrote resonates with me. Often my tinnitus is so bad that I have to be alone so I don't verbally abuse anyone. I wish I had someone to vent to but I don't think anyone I know can possibly understand my feelings.
I noticed this site does not have a section for personal diaries. A diary allows one to vent without criticism. It's your diary.
I would never tell you what to do....not my style but my therapist tells me I should write again. It's hard for me to concentrate with this jet engine running in my head but I am hoping that if I can write my feelings in a safe place, whether it's in an online diary or a paper journal, the negative will move from my heart to somewhere away from me.
I'm new to learning how to cope so this isn't advice or anything. It's just that I feel your pain in your post....the same pain I often feel....and I think writing your feelings somewhere...anywhere....is good.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon.
Bobby
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
Michael it was as stated a 'metaphor' and not an attack on you or your current living arrangements. That's not who I am as a person. You entirely missed the nuanced empathy that I was actually expressing toward you, but I'm not going to get in to the reasons for that.
I genuinely feel for you and everyone with this killer affliction and I DO appreciate your attempts in helping others.
My only point is that you have faced a lengthy battle with this illness, it's devoured huge chunks of your life in one way or another and I fervently wish it hadn't.
Have a pleasant day.
- Aug 14, 2013
- 2,455
- Tinnitus Since
- Resolved since 2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Unknown (medication, head injury)
Well, well, well... @Michael Leigh – as you may recall, I once wrote that I hoped someone would eventually "spill the beans" and reveal your petty personal identity. What I had not anticipated was that you would do it all by yourself.
The photos of your house were pretty revealing. You see, one of them has your house number on it (#57) and after applying a bit of filtering, it can almost be made out that the street name below the number reads "Westfield Crescent" (see below):
Google Streetview (via Google Maps) did the rest of the job:
Only small problem (initially) was the that the photo from Streetview was from 2012 and – as can be seen – at the time, the house was under reconstruction (which is why the house colours don't match). But upon inspection, it is easy to see that the front windows match and so does the chimney (and take note of the house number of the neighbour i.e. #55).
And finally, you wrote you had a nice view of Patcham village – well, that all fits the bill nicely:
Perhaps someone should have a chat with the local communal office about your medical retirement since you have been habituated for the last, well, many years. Or so, you claim...
HI @Bam
Indeed, you did state my living arrangements as a metaphor. I noticed this later when I was unable to remove my photos as this forum has a set time period that one is allowed to edit their posts. My mistake so please accept my apologies. Regarding my tinnitus. I have had it for 22 years and at times it has been very difficult to cope with. The worst time for me was 2008 when my tinnitus increased to insurmountable levels. It took 4 years to habituate for the 2nd time.
I want to make one thing absolutely clear to you and this is the truth. Tinnitus is just one of many medical conditions that is unable to be cured at this time. However, with treatment and a positive attitude many people are able to have a good quality of life even when they have it severe. In many cases the tinnitus is not severe all of the time. I do not regard living with my tinnitus as a battle but accept it as a medical condition that I live with and am able to manage it. At times it can be problematic but this is life. Life is problematic and there are very few people that escape problems.
I got talking to woman yesterday at a cafeteria that I visit. She is four years younger than me at 54. Cut a long story short. She suffers with a condition called Cushins for which there is no cure although it can be managed with medication. I have never heard of it. She explained that she can black-out at any moment and there's no warning. She showed me her medical card that she carries on her person all the time. It listed around 10 other medical conditions in addition to the Cushins. I couldn't even pronounce the names. When I see blind and disabled people on my travels. Watch the news and peruse the Internet. Read and hear the troubles and wars around the world. I am thankful that I can sleep at night in peace without the fear of my home being bombed.
I know how debilitating tinnitus can be when it is severe, but my outlook on life is always to be positive even in my downtimes.
All the best
Michael
I stand by what I said 100%.
I didn't think my reply was particularly offensive, maybe it was to some? Unfortunately that's how I see Micheal (and apparently a good few others do as well) and was just voicing my opinion. One thing I will say is some "veterans" can be extremely rude/obnoxious towards members and that seems to go by unnoticed the majority of time.... everybody should be treated equally across the board.
I fully understand that when somebody has an opinion, doesn't mean we have to voice it or that it's right just because that's your own personal opinion. We should take everybody's feelings on board that I agree. If I disagree with something moving forward and choose to voice my "opinion" I will think before I type, or just use a "gif" to show my disagreement. I will also... most definitely.... refrain from calling Micheal "Mr Bucket".
Maybe we could get a "disagree" button? This could possibly stop a lot of "chaos" I suppose.....
You're always the voice of reason and I respect you immensely Glynis, so I will heed your words.
Well, well, well... @Michael Leigh – as you may recall, I once wrote that I hoped someone would eventually "spill the beans" and reveal your petty personal identity. What I had not anticipated was that you would do it all by yourself.
The photos of your house were pretty revealing. You see, one of them has your house number on it (#57) and after applying a bit of filtering, it can almost be made out that the street name below the number reads "Westfield Crescent" (see below):
Google Streetview (via Google Maps) did the rest of the job:
Only small problem (initially) was the that the photo from Streetview was from 2012 and – as can be seen – at the time, the house was under reconstruction (which is why the house colours don't match). But upon inspection, it is easy to see that the front windows match and so does the chimney (and take note of the house number of the neighbour i.e. #55).
And finally, you wrote you had a nice view of Patcham village – well, that all fits the bill nicely:
Perhaps someone should have a chat with the local communal office about your medical retirement since you have been habituated for the last, well, many years. Or so, you claim...
this whole post seems unnecessarily vindictive...
Check all of my posts and you will clearly see, that I have never initiated an argument in this forum. Some people choose to be confrontational towards me. Use abusive language and ridicule my posts. When you look into it, these people rarely offer any help or support of any significance. Quite a few people in this forum have telephoned me for counselling and corresponded with me by private messenger and email for help with their tinnitus. I am not here to make trouble but some people have another agenda. Therefore, I will now deal with these people in the appropriate manner by placing them on ignore.
It is a win win situation.
All the best
Michael
It is fair enough that people have disagreements regarding opinions on treatments and some of the established theories behind and efficacies of these.
But posting images of someone's house in an attempt to 'out their petty personal identity' serves no respectable purpose whatsoever.
We can all agree that tinnitus is a sh*t condition to endure. The pain and suffering it causes is familiar to all of us. Surely it benefits us all to show each other compassion and empathy and create a supportive environment rather than snipe amongst ourselves.
You know I always hear/read this about people with T. That they were very high strung or whatever before. I wasn't. All my friends say as was the most chill person they know/knew. When I first got T it was mild from an injury it took me a while to realize it was there and then I was over it. It was super mild and over the course of three months it was healing and almost gone. I rarely heard it or paid attention, and most of the time forgot I even had it.
Then boom severe T came and destroyed me. *shrugs*
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
Feel for you Shera. This won't make it better for you but I definitely don't think my personality caused my T just as yours certainly didn't. I had major nerve pain for over a year in my neck before onset. .......I just think my personality isn't suited to surviving T.
The absolute same with me, I was chilled and marched to the beat of my own drum before this. I feel like that spark inside me is constantly flickering from low to medium. It's crazy what this "noise" in our heads can do to us....
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
You/we are a lot tougher than we think. Never doubt just how much courage and strength you have. I recall as a youth when I had mild/barely noticeable and at times it would bring down to my knees and i'd ask "why,why,why". Now As a mature adult with tinnitus that is ten times louder and ears that are 10 times worst. I am blessed and thank my maker for each day he gives me. I am grateful for all that I have, including my tinnitus. Our personality/courage can shift in life and make us better/stronger people. Never doubt yourself and how amazing you can be......
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